Elderly Parents in Spain
Jan 13th 2019, 2:08 pm
#1
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Elderly Parents in Spain
Hi all, I am New to this site and I really hope someone out there can help me, I will try to make a complicated situation simple
My Mum as become seriously ill in Spain ( Villajoyosa near Benidorm Alicante ) her Husband of 25 Years wants to abandon any responsibility to look after her now she has become a burden
Does anyone know of and Social care help in Spain my mother could get ?
I'd really appreciate any help
Kind regards Carl
My Mum as become seriously ill in Spain ( Villajoyosa near Benidorm Alicante ) her Husband of 25 Years wants to abandon any responsibility to look after her now she has become a burden
Does anyone know of and Social care help in Spain my mother could get ?
I'd really appreciate any help
Kind regards Carl
Jan 13th 2019, 2:16 pm
#2
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
I am going to be straight. Social care for the elderly in Spain is nowhere near that of the UK, unless you are willing to pay privately. Is your Mum over 65, and can she speak Spanish?
If it's all gone pear shaped with hubby, I would consider getting her back to the UK before she could possibly become unable to travel.
The Spanish system puts a lot of responsibility on Family etc for care, if she does not have any present, could be an issue.
I have seen the system in action with some of my elderly neighbours, so just saying it as I see it.
If it's all gone pear shaped with hubby, I would consider getting her back to the UK before she could possibly become unable to travel.
The Spanish system puts a lot of responsibility on Family etc for care, if she does not have any present, could be an issue.
I have seen the system in action with some of my elderly neighbours, so just saying it as I see it.
Jan 13th 2019, 2:32 pm
#3
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Hi Lurchio, Thank you for your advise and quick response, my Mum is in her 80's and she has Spanish residency but cant speak Spanish
I tried to get them both to come back to the UK in July last year when i went over to Spain after my mum had fallen. It might be the case that she is already unable to travel as she is confined to her bed.
again I'd really appreciate any help
Kind regards Carl
I tried to get them both to come back to the UK in July last year when i went over to Spain after my mum had fallen. It might be the case that she is already unable to travel as she is confined to her bed.
again I'd really appreciate any help
Kind regards Carl
Jan 13th 2019, 3:08 pm
#4
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
There are some excellent private care homes which are cheaper and appear to be better run than those in UK.
Is their home big enough to employ a live in carer?
Is their home big enough to employ a live in carer?
Jan 13th 2019, 4:30 pm
#5
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
First question is. Has she been living correctly registered as resident for at least five years. If yes she may qualify for care. It is means tested. That is the least of your problems though. Her local GP is the conduit to the care. In our area the man from the Ayuntamiento does assessments , consultations etc in the village each Thursday morning. So yes it is available , with caveats and isnt as comprehensive as in the UK.
You dont say what the serious illness is but it maybe too late to practically “ get her” back to the UK even with careful preparation and changes of drivers non stop could be 20 plus hours on the road. Airlines might turn away someone that looked seriously ill depending on the nature of the ailments and conditions.
I am not condoning her husband abandoning responsibility for looking after. He may not physically be up to it. A heavy incontinent bedridden person really needs two carers each session for example. Plus dealing with bedsores as an example is not something the average person can do. What is his health like?
If she has been hospitalised she will have notes in the house of each time and treatment etc if/when you end up going over you can use those and get an interpreter to move forward. Doctors and nurses from GP practice do house calls. Local care homes offer advice and often the hire of kit like air mattresses, hospital beds. Queralto at Seville does mail order and are excellent.
one plus is in the Benidorm area there are loads of care agencies like 3 C Costa Blanca Care Agency Home Help Nursing Agency Respite Care 24 hour helpline.
Hope that helps for a start. Wish you well with your endeavours.
You dont say what the serious illness is but it maybe too late to practically “ get her” back to the UK even with careful preparation and changes of drivers non stop could be 20 plus hours on the road. Airlines might turn away someone that looked seriously ill depending on the nature of the ailments and conditions.
I am not condoning her husband abandoning responsibility for looking after. He may not physically be up to it. A heavy incontinent bedridden person really needs two carers each session for example. Plus dealing with bedsores as an example is not something the average person can do. What is his health like?
If she has been hospitalised she will have notes in the house of each time and treatment etc if/when you end up going over you can use those and get an interpreter to move forward. Doctors and nurses from GP practice do house calls. Local care homes offer advice and often the hire of kit like air mattresses, hospital beds. Queralto at Seville does mail order and are excellent.
one plus is in the Benidorm area there are loads of care agencies like 3 C Costa Blanca Care Agency Home Help Nursing Agency Respite Care 24 hour helpline.
Hope that helps for a start. Wish you well with your endeavours.
Jan 13th 2019, 4:32 pm
#6
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Hi Missile, They live in a small rented apartment, so its not really possible to have a live in carer, even if they could afford it.
I'm not saying they couldnt but my Mums husband (my Stepfather) is in charge of there limited finances and is not prepared to even consider spending any more money on care
I have looked into Spanish care homes and the private ones seem expensive and the Social ones have a long waiting list.
It could be that your right but all the information Ive been fed back seems to indicate that the Private ones are very expensive
Thanks for the advise though, I do appreciate your feedback
I'm not saying they couldnt but my Mums husband (my Stepfather) is in charge of there limited finances and is not prepared to even consider spending any more money on care
I have looked into Spanish care homes and the private ones seem expensive and the Social ones have a long waiting list.
It could be that your right but all the information Ive been fed back seems to indicate that the Private ones are very expensive
Thanks for the advise though, I do appreciate your feedback
Jan 13th 2019, 5:04 pm
#7
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
"Care" is such a variable concept. Perhaps having your mother's care needs identified would be of some help and then maybe you would be in a better position to find the answers to your question.
Jan 13th 2019, 5:15 pm
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Hi Olivefarmer, As usual there is a lot more to this complicated situation than I have initially conveyed.
As far as I am aware they have been correctly registered as residents, they have lived there for 25 years and have been registered as residents for well over 5 years.
I have seen the Residency information and they are registered with the local Doctors.
Its hard to find out about what is actually happening as i get conflicting information
She has been Hospitalised 3 times in the past 12 months, back in May last year a Doctor said she needed to go in a home. I have never seen any Hospital or Doctors notes
We have on a number of occasions in the last 6 months tried persuading them to come back to the UK as the level of care (NHS) would be much better than that of Spains
This is the predicament we are in.
As far as I am aware they have been correctly registered as residents, they have lived there for 25 years and have been registered as residents for well over 5 years.
I have seen the Residency information and they are registered with the local Doctors.
Its hard to find out about what is actually happening as i get conflicting information
She has been Hospitalised 3 times in the past 12 months, back in May last year a Doctor said she needed to go in a home. I have never seen any Hospital or Doctors notes
We have on a number of occasions in the last 6 months tried persuading them to come back to the UK as the level of care (NHS) would be much better than that of Spains
This is the predicament we are in.
Last edited by Carl H; Jan 13th 2019 at 5:55 pm.
Jan 13th 2019, 6:07 pm
#9
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
What a nightmare for you. If it helps, my neighbours work on a basis that they get visits from the Nurse and Social services twice a week, and pay for a home help 3 times a week.
Unfortunately, each case on its merits and it could be that your circumstances are far different to the above.
If she cannot fly, the other option is a 24 hour ferry from the UK, and a drive down from Santander/ Bilbao and back from Alicante. A hard drive without over nighters, but okay if you are rested well. As for Mums resilience for that sort of travel as opposed to a two odd hour flight , I do not know.
Without the help and support physically and financially of her partner and / or family it will be difficult.
I am sorry for your plight.
Unfortunately, each case on its merits and it could be that your circumstances are far different to the above.
If she cannot fly, the other option is a 24 hour ferry from the UK, and a drive down from Santander/ Bilbao and back from Alicante. A hard drive without over nighters, but okay if you are rested well. As for Mums resilience for that sort of travel as opposed to a two odd hour flight , I do not know.
Without the help and support physically and financially of her partner and / or family it will be difficult.
I am sorry for your plight.
Jan 13th 2019, 11:12 pm
#10
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Hi Missile, They live in a small rented apartment, so its not really possible to have a live in carer, even if they could afford it.
I'm not saying they couldnt but my Mums husband (my Stepfather) is in charge of there limited finances and is not prepared to even consider spending any more money on care
I have looked into Spanish care homes and the private ones seem expensive and the Social ones have a long waiting list.
It could be that your right but all the information Ive been fed back seems to indicate that the Private ones are very expensive
Thanks for the advise though, I do appreciate your feedback
I'm not saying they couldnt but my Mums husband (my Stepfather) is in charge of there limited finances and is not prepared to even consider spending any more money on care
I have looked into Spanish care homes and the private ones seem expensive and the Social ones have a long waiting list.
It could be that your right but all the information Ive been fed back seems to indicate that the Private ones are very expensive
Thanks for the advise though, I do appreciate your feedback
It must be very stressful for you
Jan 14th 2019, 10:18 am
#11
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Thank you all for your replies, it is indeed a difficult situation, I will ponder over it and decide my next move
I guess its also a Lesson to all who leave there extended families and decide to live there Golden years in the Sun.
It can be a Very selfish thing to do especially when things start to go wrong.
I do wish they where back in the UK it would be so much easier for all concerned.
Thanks again for your advice
I guess its also a Lesson to all who leave there extended families and decide to live there Golden years in the Sun.
It can be a Very selfish thing to do especially when things start to go wrong.
I do wish they where back in the UK it would be so much easier for all concerned.
Thanks again for your advice
Jan 14th 2019, 10:42 am
#12
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Assuming you could afford it ?
I would just get a private ambulance organised & go and get Mum, just tell her you are taking her for a check up should she ask (which you are)
Good luck.
I would just get a private ambulance organised & go and get Mum, just tell her you are taking her for a check up should she ask (which you are)
Good luck.
Jan 14th 2019, 2:02 pm
#13
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Hi VFR , Nice thought but in reality its neither affordable or indeed legal to Kidnap even my own mother.
I know you didnt mean kidnap her when its for her own good but I couldnt live with myself if my mum died on route or even regretted every moment of the journey or indeed living back in the UK.
I would need it to be 100% her wishes and make it clear to her, her options.
Just a quick update. I have contacted the British Consulate in Alicante of the situation, they where very sympathetic and helpful to my plight and are trying to sort out help from Social services in Spain in an attempt to get my mum in a care home in Spain.
Not ideal but at least she will have a better level of care than she has at the moment.
This depends a lot on my stepfathers cooperation. I will keep you posted
I do have a Plan 'B' that I'm working on that is very much like VFR's suggestion but I will see how Plan 'A' goes first
Again Thanks to All for your suggestions
I know you didnt mean kidnap her when its for her own good but I couldnt live with myself if my mum died on route or even regretted every moment of the journey or indeed living back in the UK.
I would need it to be 100% her wishes and make it clear to her, her options.
Just a quick update. I have contacted the British Consulate in Alicante of the situation, they where very sympathetic and helpful to my plight and are trying to sort out help from Social services in Spain in an attempt to get my mum in a care home in Spain.
Not ideal but at least she will have a better level of care than she has at the moment.
This depends a lot on my stepfathers cooperation. I will keep you posted
I do have a Plan 'B' that I'm working on that is very much like VFR's suggestion but I will see how Plan 'A' goes first
Again Thanks to All for your suggestions
Jan 14th 2019, 10:06 pm
#14
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Good luck :-)
Dec 3rd 2019, 5:26 pm
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Re: Elderly Parents in Spain
Hi Carl,
Can I please ask what the outcome was with the difficult situation you found yourself in earlier this year? We have a similar situation and are completely at a loss to what we can do. My father in law is being discharged from hospital this week and there seems no option but for him to go into a Spanish care home. As there is no access to funds, we fear he will be put into a lower standard home. We think the Spanish government will take over his apartment to pay for it. It’s all very complicated, frustrating and a worry. The language barrier and not understanding the system makes it even more difficult. We would prefer for him to be here in the UK but we are unsure if he is fit to fly. We too considered driving? Any feedback much appreciated. Thanks
Can I please ask what the outcome was with the difficult situation you found yourself in earlier this year? We have a similar situation and are completely at a loss to what we can do. My father in law is being discharged from hospital this week and there seems no option but for him to go into a Spanish care home. As there is no access to funds, we fear he will be put into a lower standard home. We think the Spanish government will take over his apartment to pay for it. It’s all very complicated, frustrating and a worry. The language barrier and not understanding the system makes it even more difficult. We would prefer for him to be here in the UK but we are unsure if he is fit to fly. We too considered driving? Any feedback much appreciated. Thanks