British Expats

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-   -   Children in Spain (https://britishexpats.com/forum/spain-75/children-spain-630086/)

montgomail Sep 10th 2009 6:35 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by HBG (Post 7921212)
I don’t know if this is appropriate for this thread, but I moved countries at the age of 12, not through choice, and it was horrible, and it left scars, and I’ve hated my mother and stepfather ever since.

Of course I got used to my new foreign friends, I didn’t have any choice, but the hatred never died, they’re both dead now and I still feel it.

That's a hell of a statement! I'm conjuring up images of a sad and lonely kid in a bombed out Beirut or somewhere quite dire.

Can you say why the move had such a negative impact on you?

jackytoo Sep 10th 2009 7:36 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by cricketman (Post 7922329)
Woh, you wont to know everything about me!

I grew up in the UK, went to uni in the UK and spent 5 years working in London after uni

Does that help you? Am I qualified to have opinions now? :)

It is natural to be curious when someone has first hand knowledge on Asturias, Costa del Sol, and the UK:p

agoreira Sep 10th 2009 7:42 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by jackytoo (Post 7920827)
You post as an expert on there too

:rofl:
Have to say very good friends of ours have been permanently in Spain for a couple of years, and their son goes to the international school at Almuñecar and I find his Spanish excellent. Complete with awful "andalú" accent. Spanish friends of ours have confirmed that he speaks first class Spanish. From what I can gather most of his school friends are Spanish

jojojojojojojojojojojojo Sep 10th 2009 8:17 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by HBG (Post 7921212)
I don’t know if this is appropriate for this thread, but I moved countries at the age of 12, not through choice, and it was horrible, and it left scars, and I’ve hated my mother and stepfather ever since.

Of course I got used to my new foreign friends, I didn’t have any choice, but the hatred never died, they’re both dead now and I still feel it.

I hope that my children dont feel like you do and I'm sorry that you've had to carry that with you all these years, I think alot of people can look back and get angry at choices that were made for us (I have some gremlins in my past that I could get angry about .... different forum methinks lol). But you have to remember that everything that happens in your life makes you what you are today and good or bad, thats who you are, so dont look back with resentment, draw a line under it and look forward with optimism!!!! Sorry, I sound like a shrink LOL!!!

I like to think that my kids have been involved and have contributed to the whole process of us moving to Spain. I constantly check and re evaluate their feelings on everything we do. And so far, if we ever mention going back to the UK, they really get angry and refuse to discuss it. They are happy here - very happy here, they love their school, their surroundings and their lives here. Should that ever change, it wouldnt be ignored, it would be discussed as a family and if we couldnt resolve any problems then inspite of idividual wishes, we would do whats best for everyone. Afterall, we're a family and eventho it wasnt their decision as such, it was a family decision.

Jo xxx

agoreira Sep 10th 2009 9:39 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by jojojojojojojojojojojojo (Post 7922468)
I like to think that my kids have been involved and have contributed to the whole process of us moving to Spain.

Well done, that´s the way it should be, but all too often on these type of forums we read of parents that have this dream about moving to Spain, and the kids education seems to take a back seat. Weeks before they are due to go, they start asking questions about schools etc!:confused:

jojojojojojojojojojojojo Sep 10th 2009 9:54 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by agoreira (Post 7922617)
Well done, that´s the way it should be, but all too often on these type of forums we read of parents that have this dream about moving to Spain, and the kids education seems to take a back seat. Weeks before they are due to go, they start asking questions about schools etc!:confused:


That never fails to amaze me!! Everyone bangs on about their kids enjoying a better quality of life if they move to Spain???? er... how??? They spend most of their lives in school and thats where they form friendships and "intergrate" Thats the most important thing

Someone posted an article on another forum a while ago and it basically said that however much money you have to bring over to Spain, you shouldnt be ploughing it all into property, you should circle off a proportion to fund your childs education... especially if that child is early/mid teens.

Its so very hard to expect a young teenage kid to learn the language, get a good education, intergrate, make friends, benefit from the "wonderful quality of life" AND get a good job at the end of it! and lets face it, life aint easy anyway and if you have no qualifications and you're not fluent in the language......!!!


I think my kids were just about young enough for us to come out when we did (11 and 13), even then as I say I put my son into international school. Any older and, for us anyway, they would have been too old and they would have suffered both emotionally and educationally and we wouldnt have done it - simple!

BTW, I'm not talking about little tots, just the over 12/13s ...ish!

Jo xxx

manamama Sep 10th 2009 10:20 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by jackytoo (Post 7922410)
It is natural to be curious when someone has first hand knowledge on Asturias, Costa del Sol, and the UK:p

Hey me too - we have a bit in common.

agoreira Sep 10th 2009 10:25 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by jojojojojojojojojojojojo (Post 7922644)
I think my kids were just about young enough for us to come out when we did (11 and 13), even then as I say I put my son into international school.

Friends of ours have always had a holiday home in Spain, and from the day their son was born, they took him to Spain with them, and the plan was, when he finished primary school, husband would take early retirement, and they would all move to Spain. That´s what they did, son is now 14 still in international school, doing great, they all speak Spanish, the son´s being excellent. For me, they have got it spot on, but unfortunately too many people´s decisions to move to Spain are based on a brief holiday on the costas, with little, if any serious research. And they wonder why it fails!

manamama Sep 10th 2009 10:50 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 
My children have adapted really well in school here - I have three in the Spanish state system - they are all pretty much fluent now (especially my 5 year old boy). I think he has an Asturiano accent when speaking Spanish. My eldest daughter who is 10 has not picked up the accent (as yet). Her Spanish still sounds a little bit British. (Not as British as mine though).

They all have friends at school and have had friends over/sleepovers etc. I worried about them integrating with the Asturianos - we are the only foreigners locally but they have fitted in really well.

At school - the two youngest (ages 5 and 7) are also learning Asturiano which I am sure will help them to fit in even more with their pals and Asturias as they grow up here.

I do worry alot about their education and if it's going to work out OK for them. I would worry more so if we were in the UK.

jackytoo Sep 10th 2009 10:58 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 
It is much better when there aren't many British kids. What happens on the CDS is there are so many they just hang around together and don't mix. Most of the British kids drop out when they are about 14:rolleyes:

manamama Sep 10th 2009 11:05 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by jackytoo (Post 7922760)
It is much better when there aren't many British kids. What happens on the CDS is there are so many they just hang around together and don't mix. Most of the British kids drop out when they are about 14:rolleyes:


I know of a little boy (aged 6) who goes to a Spanish school in CDS and "is fed up speaking Spanish". He hardly speaks it as he plays with the kids who are British. He has to have extra Spanish lessons to help him by a private tutor.

cricketman Sep 10th 2009 11:24 pm

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by manamama (Post 7922742)
My children have adapted really well in school here - I have three in the Spanish state system - they are all pretty much fluent now (especially my 5 year old boy). I think he has an Asturiano accent when speaking Spanish. My eldest daughter who is 10 has not picked up the accent (as yet). Her Spanish still sounds a little bit British. (Not as British as mine though).

They all have friends at school and have had friends over/sleepovers etc. I worried about them integrating with the Asturianos - we are the only foreigners locally but they have fitted in really well.

At school - the two youngest (ages 5 and 7) are also learning Asturiano which I am sure will help them to fit in even more with their pals and Asturias as they grow up here.

I do worry alot about their education and if it's going to work out OK for them. I would worry more so if we were in the UK.

Wow, you must be living very rurally if the kids speak Asturian together :)

I love Asturias, if we could find jobs I'd love any children we may have to grow up there

manamama Sep 11th 2009 12:28 am

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by cricketman (Post 7922813)
Wow, you must be living very rurally if the kids speak Asturian together :)

I love Asturias, if we could find jobs I'd love any children we may have to grow up there

We live near Aviles which is quite built up. My kids are doing Llingua Asturiana from this school year. It is optional (like religion) and when they joined the school in February, I didn't opt them to do as I thought it might confuse it with Spanish. Most of the children do learn it, but I am unsure if they speak it instead of Spanish.

Everyday I appreciate Asturias a little bit more. I love it too!

SaritaBarcelona Sep 11th 2009 12:44 am

Re: Children in Spain
 
Does anyone know any children who are half British and half South American, or other non-Spanish/European nationality? I am interested to know how our son will create an identity for himself. He has a British passport but lives in Spain and his father instills Colombian culture in him too. He will travel to all three countries regularly throughout his life, he is only three but has already travelled a lot and seems to love it! It isn't an easy path that I chose, to marry someone from another continent, but it has its rewards as our son will have a multi-cultural, multi-language upbringing. I am aware that this may have a downside unless we offer him great stability and constancy throughout his life. I have seen the kind of child someone mentioned earlier, fascinated by MTV etc as they can't really identify with reality, a potentially dangerous brew. Mmm, interesting to see people's ideas on here, I'm enjoying this thread!

cricketman Sep 11th 2009 12:55 am

Re: Children in Spain
 

Originally Posted by SaritaBarcelona (Post 7923017)
Does anyone know any children who are half British and half South American, or other non-Spanish/European nationality? I am interested to know how our son will create an identity for himself. He has a British passport but lives in Spain and his father instills Colombian culture in him too. He will travel to all three countries regularly throughout his life, he is only three but has already travelled a lot and seems to love it! It isn't an easy path that I chose, to marry someone from another continent, but it has its rewards as our son will have a multi-cultural, multi-language upbringing. I am aware that this may have a downside unless we offer him great stability and constancy throughout his life. I have seen the kind of child someone mentioned earlier, fascinated by MTV etc as they can't really identify with reality, a potentially dangerous brew. Mmm, interesting to see people's ideas on here, I'm enjoying this thread!

Sorry SaritaBarcelona I didnt meant to worry you

What I meant is that it is the British kids I know who have been kept away from Spanish culture who have no identity. Identity gets formed while you grow up. If someone only speaks English (Spanish lessons only 2 hours a week) and has just a few hundred school friends to relate to, then identity gets kind of messed up

Doesnt sound like your case at all


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