Children in Spain
 

A discussion started on another thread about children in Spain. I thought it would be interesting to discuss how everybody finds life for their expat kids, how they adapt at school, how they cope with being bi- or even trilingual, how they get on with their Spanish counterparts.

For example, my three year old son is English and Colombian by birth, born and brought up in Catalonia up to now, which is technically (!) Spain. He speaks English and Spanish quite well, used Catalan (not so well...!) at nursery and now school when he starts, and seems suited to the Spanish way of life. We do not insist on a 7pm bedtime, and he eats his meals with us, eating virtually the same food. We are intrigued to know what his accent will be like when it is consolidated! He will probably be a mixed up kid in terms of not knowing where he is from, but we are sure that the benefits of such a multi-cultural upbringing will have its rewards. Does anyone have a child that has grown up like this and is now an adult? I would be interested to hear how they turn out and how to avoid pitfalls.

Re: Children in Spain
 

I dont think you need to worry. Language and friends are the key. If your children socialise with a Spanish circle of friends then they will feel Spanish. And if they speak English fluent, have some British friends and have a good knowledge of the UK, then they will integrate easily there if they ever want to move there

I know some kids who have gone to international school their whole lives in the CDS, have now left school, dont speak Spanish so are obviously not Spanish in any way, but dont really feel English as they have never lived in the UK.

These guys I feel sorry for as they have no culture or identity to relate to. A lot of them go round like they've watched too much MTV :)

Re: Children in Spain
 

My kids go to international school and far from not being able to speak spanish they've learnt it better than when my daughter was in state school, they have spanish class mates - lots of em and they have spanish lessons everyday and one lesson of "como" (spanish culture, history) taught in spanish. In fact the play ground is a fascinating palce, the kids flit from language to language in mid sentence, its really weird. The spanish kids speak english, the english speak spanish and the others "mix n match"!!!!!!!!

As for their identity, well they're international!!! They feel happy in the UK and Spain... and anywhere else I hope, they havent got restrictions and I like to think when they're grown and working, they wont be frightened of moving countries. Intergration is great, but at the mo Spain has enough of its own kids and high unemployment.

Just my view, which I guess is an obvious one LOL

Jo xxx

Re: Children in Spain
 

Wisely you've chosen a great international school :)

I didnt mean all international schools, just the one these kids I know went to which didnt do the things you mentioned above

Re: Children in Spain
 

Its a long story, but due to my sons age when we arrived here 13, it didnt seem right to us to stick him into a state school, my daughter was 11 and she tried state school for 6 months but was so unhappy we had to take her out and put her into international too!!! But it is a brilliant school and we chose it because it was a very relaxed, friendly and laid back school, but very strict at the same time, in the middle of fields and the campo!

However, the interesting thing at the mo is the credit crunch seems to have thinned out alot of the british kids in the school, BUT has increased the Spanish!! They obviously feel that its the best way for their kids to learn english! So we noiw have a situation at the school whereby there are as many if not more Spanish in the school! No bad thing in my opinion cos they all intergrate with each other and learn each others language and I guess cos the school is predominantly english (english curriculum, teachers etc), there isnt the same "you're a foriegner, them and us" attitude that you may get (that we found) in the state schools

Jo xxxx

Re: Children in Spain
 

Many of the decent Inernational schools on the CDS are now doing bi-lingual courses. These have attracted many well-off Spaniards who see the benefits of this. How well do you know the CDS?

Re: Children in Spain
 

Well I live near Málaga and the school mine attend is in Cartama


Jo xxx

Re: Children in Spain
 

Got mixed up I was asking Cricket man as I thought he was in Asturias:unsure:

Re: Children in Spain
 

I'm living in CDS at the moment, my family have lived here for 10 years. My brothers went to school here - and I have some friends who went to school here too

I've also lived in Oviedo and Barcelona. My OH is Asturiana

Re: Children in Spain
 

Really got mixed up, all is explained now, what about the UK knowledge? You post as an expert on there too

Re: Children in Spain
 

I don’t know if this is appropriate for this thread, but I moved countries at the age of 12, not through choice, and it was horrible, and it left scars, and I’ve hated my mother and stepfather ever since.

Of course I got used to my new foreign friends, I didn’t have any choice, but the hatred never died, they’re both dead now and I still feel it.

Re: Children in Spain
 

I don't think it is inappropriate HBG, the idea is to discuss children living in Spain, and how it may affect them for good or for bad, there is no real thread to this thread if you see what I mean. It is a shame you had that experience. Was it the country you found difficult or the way that you yourself were treated there? I imagine that even if you don't like a place, if the people are warm, it is not as bad. I would be interested to hear, but if it is painful, obviously you may prefer not to discuss it.

Re: Children in Spain
 

I know kids like that too:(

Re: Children in Spain
 

Woh, you wont to know everything about me!

I grew up in the UK, went to uni in the UK and spent 5 years working in London after uni

Does that help you? Am I qualified to have opinions now? :)

Re: Children in Spain
 

:rofl:

Re: Children in Spain
 

That's a hell of a statement! I'm conjuring up images of a sad and lonely kid in a bombed out Beirut or somewhere quite dire.

Can you say why the move had such a negative impact on you?

Re: Children in Spain
 

It is natural to be curious when someone has first hand knowledge on Asturias, Costa del Sol, and the UK:p

Re: Children in Spain
 

:rofl:
Have to say very good friends of ours have been permanently in Spain for a couple of years, and their son goes to the international school at Almuñecar and I find his Spanish excellent. Complete with awful "andalú" accent. Spanish friends of ours have confirmed that he speaks first class Spanish. From what I can gather most of his school friends are Spanish

Re: Children in Spain
 

I hope that my children dont feel like you do and I'm sorry that you've had to carry that with you all these years, I think alot of people can look back and get angry at choices that were made for us (I have some gremlins in my past that I could get angry about .... different forum methinks lol). But you have to remember that everything that happens in your life makes you what you are today and good or bad, thats who you are, so dont look back with resentment, draw a line under it and look forward with optimism!!!! Sorry, I sound like a shrink LOL!!!

I like to think that my kids have been involved and have contributed to the whole process of us moving to Spain. I constantly check and re evaluate their feelings on everything we do. And so far, if we ever mention going back to the UK, they really get angry and refuse to discuss it. They are happy here - very happy here, they love their school, their surroundings and their lives here. Should that ever change, it wouldnt be ignored, it would be discussed as a family and if we couldnt resolve any problems then inspite of idividual wishes, we would do whats best for everyone. Afterall, we're a family and eventho it wasnt their decision as such, it was a family decision.

Jo xxx

Re: Children in Spain
 

Well done, that´s the way it should be, but all too often on these type of forums we read of parents that have this dream about moving to Spain, and the kids education seems to take a back seat. Weeks before they are due to go, they start asking questions about schools etc!:confused:

Re: Children in Spain
 

That never fails to amaze me!! Everyone bangs on about their kids enjoying a better quality of life if they move to Spain???? er... how??? They spend most of their lives in school and thats where they form friendships and "intergrate" Thats the most important thing

Someone posted an article on another forum a while ago and it basically said that however much money you have to bring over to Spain, you shouldnt be ploughing it all into property, you should circle off a proportion to fund your childs education... especially if that child is early/mid teens.

Its so very hard to expect a young teenage kid to learn the language, get a good education, intergrate, make friends, benefit from the "wonderful quality of life" AND get a good job at the end of it! and lets face it, life aint easy anyway and if you have no qualifications and you're not fluent in the language......!!!


I think my kids were just about young enough for us to come out when we did (11 and 13), even then as I say I put my son into international school. Any older and, for us anyway, they would have been too old and they would have suffered both emotionally and educationally and we wouldnt have done it - simple!

BTW, I'm not talking about little tots, just the over 12/13s ...ish!

Jo xxx

Re: Children in Spain
 

Hey me too - we have a bit in common.

Re: Children in Spain
 

Friends of ours have always had a holiday home in Spain, and from the day their son was born, they took him to Spain with them, and the plan was, when he finished primary school, husband would take early retirement, and they would all move to Spain. That´s what they did, son is now 14 still in international school, doing great, they all speak Spanish, the son´s being excellent. For me, they have got it spot on, but unfortunately too many people´s decisions to move to Spain are based on a brief holiday on the costas, with little, if any serious research. And they wonder why it fails!

Re: Children in Spain
 

My children have adapted really well in school here - I have three in the Spanish state system - they are all pretty much fluent now (especially my 5 year old boy). I think he has an Asturiano accent when speaking Spanish. My eldest daughter who is 10 has not picked up the accent (as yet). Her Spanish still sounds a little bit British. (Not as British as mine though).

They all have friends at school and have had friends over/sleepovers etc. I worried about them integrating with the Asturianos - we are the only foreigners locally but they have fitted in really well.

At school - the two youngest (ages 5 and 7) are also learning Asturiano which I am sure will help them to fit in even more with their pals and Asturias as they grow up here.

I do worry alot about their education and if it's going to work out OK for them. I would worry more so if we were in the UK.

Re: Children in Spain
 

It is much better when there aren't many British kids. What happens on the CDS is there are so many they just hang around together and don't mix. Most of the British kids drop out when they are about 14:rolleyes:

Re: Children in Spain
 

I know of a little boy (aged 6) who goes to a Spanish school in CDS and "is fed up speaking Spanish". He hardly speaks it as he plays with the kids who are British. He has to have extra Spanish lessons to help him by a private tutor.

Re: Children in Spain
 

Wow, you must be living very rurally if the kids speak Asturian together :)

I love Asturias, if we could find jobs I'd love any children we may have to grow up there

Re: Children in Spain
 

We live near Aviles which is quite built up. My kids are doing Llingua Asturiana from this school year. It is optional (like religion) and when they joined the school in February, I didn't opt them to do as I thought it might confuse it with Spanish. Most of the children do learn it, but I am unsure if they speak it instead of Spanish.

Everyday I appreciate Asturias a little bit more. I love it too!

Re: Children in Spain
 

Does anyone know any children who are half British and half South American, or other non-Spanish/European nationality? I am interested to know how our son will create an identity for himself. He has a British passport but lives in Spain and his father instills Colombian culture in him too. He will travel to all three countries regularly throughout his life, he is only three but has already travelled a lot and seems to love it! It isn't an easy path that I chose, to marry someone from another continent, but it has its rewards as our son will have a multi-cultural, multi-language upbringing. I am aware that this may have a downside unless we offer him great stability and constancy throughout his life. I have seen the kind of child someone mentioned earlier, fascinated by MTV etc as they can't really identify with reality, a potentially dangerous brew. Mmm, interesting to see people's ideas on here, I'm enjoying this thread!

Re: Children in Spain
 

Sorry SaritaBarcelona I didnt meant to worry you

What I meant is that it is the British kids I know who have been kept away from Spanish culture who have no identity. Identity gets formed while you grow up. If someone only speaks English (Spanish lessons only 2 hours a week) and has just a few hundred school friends to relate to, then identity gets kind of messed up

Doesnt sound like your case at all

Re: Children in Spain
 

Well, my best friend is Mexican (with a German mother and Spanish father). Her daughter has a Spanish father, but was born in Mexico.

They spend their time between Mexico DF, Germany and Madrid.

According to my friend this continent hopping has only been of benefit to her and her daughter. I never even considered that it might not be!! She leads a very envious lifestyle with multiple nationalities meaning they can settle almost anywhere without all the red tape.

Re: Children in Spain
 

I was going to delete my post relating to my negative experiences in moving to a foreign country at the age of 12, but it’s too late now as it has been copied and pasted in subsequent posts.

I’m not going to elaborate, and the poster who replied to say that we all have childhood traumas that we should forget about, is absolutely right.

(I still might write a book about it though).

Re: Children in Spain
 

I think that our kids identity comes not only from the country they live in but from the home they come from. The children walk through the door at the end of the school day and they find endless worries about: did we do the right thing?, are they speaking Spanish or English well?, are their friends coming to the house?, do they have friends? etc etc etc
When they come through the door they need love, security and conversation.
They need a stable home with the same people there every day, good food, sober parents (most of the time) and love, lots of it.
My children came to Spain more than 20 years ago. Their schooling has been totally in Spanish. Our language at home is English. (otherwise they would never have spoken English) Our TV, books, newspapers, films, theatre, concerts were totally Spanish until about 5 years ago when I decided that Sky could come to the house because we all (they more than me) were fluent in culture, language and friendships.
When we move to another country we take our thoughts and feelings with us in the suitcase. Our thoughts and feelings help to shape our children. Our angst is tranferred to them.
Go with the flow, enjoy your kids, enjoy life, learn Spanish, read El Pais or El Mundo, or whatever you prefer, watch TV (even though a lot of it is dreadful). stop and try and chat to your neighbours, listen to Spanish music, explore Spain (don't always go back to the UK for holidays), accept that you have choosen a new home and embrace it.
Take a leaf out of the book of, for example, Asians who moved to the UK 1 or 2 generations ago. Lots of their children and grandchildren have made a success of their lives, are British, but still retain a part of their culture thanks to their parents. (please no comments on terrorists, ghettos. non integrators etc.) These people went to the UK looking for a better life for them and their children and it worked for a lot of people.
If you are here to stay then you should transmit that to your children. If it is an experiment then maybe you should have done that before you had kids, or at least when they were between 0-5 years old.
Stop worrying and enjoy. Children grow up very quickly and before you know where you are they are adults, their childhood has gone and if you don't treasure those years then you miss out on probably one of the most enjoyable parts of your life.
Sarita I think that your child will be fine. Your comment "unless we offer him great stability and constancy throughout his life" is the key. I am sure both you and your husband will do this and he will turn out to be a very interesting. secure and loved child. If he is that as a child, adulthood should be a breeze.

Re: Children in Spain
 

great post:thumbsup:

Re: Children in Spain
 

We've just moved our 7 year old from the state primary locally to an International within driving distance.... after quite a bit of thought, I might add and as you might expect. We wouldn't have done it had there not been two overriding factors.
1 - The village school struggles, and not only in our eyes, not because it is Spanish but because of the low expectations of the local population in general; motherhood or agricultural/construction work being the likeliest routes. I know it doesn't apply to all, but is a reasonable assessment. The IT seemed non-existent. The head smokes in school. The attitudes to bullying and fisticuffs and cigarettes & blah blah blah are somewhat lax. The buildings/surroundings are shall we say a little tired. (reverse hyperbole)
2 - The school he's now in is over 75% Spanish, and though the language of most lessons is English (75:25 split) the language of the playground, corridor, car park, parents, huddles outside, etc, etc., is predominantly Spanish. He's the only foreign boy in his class (at the village school, ironically, he was one of two!) Without that knowledge, by moving him to the International school I'd have been seriously concerned that we would fall into the trap of putting him/ourselves in a Brit bubble. Why be in Spain & do that?
ps We too, as at least one other person has posted, believe the Spanish lessons he'll be having will be at least as good as, if not better than, those at his old Spanish school.

The concensus among Spanish friends/acquaintances we've talked about this with is that for his education we've definitely made the right choice.


Luz's post - Lynnxa got there before me! Great post. Don't agree with every last dot & squeak but great all round:thumbup:

Re: Children in Spain
 

so different to the International school my 2 went to at first (before we went the spanish route)

I wouldn't say they were forbidden to speak spanish in the playground - but it was definitely discouraged:thumbdown::ohmy:

Re: Children in Spain
 

They're not exactly encouraged to speak spanish at our school, but you know wht kids are like. I think the point is that the schools try to stop the nationalities going off into their own huddles and not mixing, which doesnt seem to happen at our school very much. I was watching them when I picked my kids up the other day and what seems to happen is that they speak english until either an english kid start to speak spanish cos he can (showing off) or the spanish kids perhaps dont know how to say something.

Jo xxxx

Re: Children in Spain
 

Yes a good post - some good points.

I don't think you can say to parents to "stop worrying and enjoy".

Today's worries are not the same 20 years ago.

Re: Children in Spain
 

Thanks again for all this debate. I'm not actually worried, more interested to hear what people think in order to make decisions at a later date based on other people's experiences. We are lucky as a family as I can move between Spanish and English easily so our son sees both as "normal", and can move between them too. He already knows that he has to say one word to me, and something different to Papá, but recognises that I also speak Papá's language! Papá is too lazy to learn English, and our son seems to recognise this (a missed opportunity to learn alongside his son...). So many people have said that it confuses children to have two languages, blah blah blah, but he takes it all in his stride, it took him a bit longer to get up to the same speed as some of his friends (thinking more of English here) but he has THREE languages as nursery and school use Catalan. Sometimes he is roleplaying Thomas and Friends scenes, and some comes out in English, and then some in Spanish, very cute!

Re: Children in Spain
 

Sarita, it sounds as if your son is doing just fine. Our god-daughter is bi-lingual in English and Latvian (because of her parents) and is reading Spanish and German at Uni without any difficulty.