tommy.irene

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!




This is so priceless and so easy to see happening -customer service,being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and Barclay bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been £0.00, now is somewhere around £60.00.

A family member placed a call to the Barclay Bank:

Family Member:'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

Barclay: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Barclay: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been..'


Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Barclay: 'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Barclay: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about herBeing dead?'

Barclay:'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:


Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

Barclay: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stillapply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Barclay: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info given)

Barclay: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member:'Sure.' ( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

Barclay:'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I Can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'

Barclay: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member:'Would you like her new billing address?'


Barclay: 'That might help.'

Family Member: ' Finchley Memorial Cemetery , Great North Road , Finchley, London Plot
Number1049.'

Barclay: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'Well, what the flip do you do with dead people on your planet?'.............

tommy.irene

THE RIOTERS PRAYER


Our father, who art in prison

My mum knows not his name

Thy Riots come

Read it in The Sun

In Birmingham

As it is in London

Give us this day our Welfare bread

And forgive us our looting

As we're happy to steal from those who work hard to provide for us

And lead us not into employment

But deliver us free housing

For ours are the tellys

The Burberry & the Barcardi

Forever and ever

Innit!!!!!!!!!

JLFS

Cracking post

I dont see what the problem is, just need to cancel the credit cards before we die.



There are some very wise people working in call centres.

JLFS

And another cracking post...........

Domino

problem is they don't train them very well, give them standard response cards and let them loose on the public. As most seem to be below 30 and have no experience of life (or death) they soon get out of their depth

my favourite is when some nice young lady says "Bare with me one moment"
to which I respond "I'm not taking my clothes off until you do"
usually followed by a stunned silence.

the other day, I was providing information and every response I made was met with a "fantastic"
they used to put sales people through a video'd training session so they could see for themselves how stupid they can look and sound.

tommy.irene

I died today. You got tired of me and took me to the shelter. They were overcrowded and I drew an unlucky number. I am in a black plastic bag in a landfill now. Some other puppy will get the barely used leash you left. My collar was dirty and too small, but the lady took it off before she sent me to the Rainbow Bridge . Would I still be at home if I hadn’t chewed your shoe? I didn’t know what it was, but it was leather, and it was on the floor. I was just playing. You forgot to get puppy toys. Would I still be at home if I had been housebroken? Rubbing my nose in what I did only made me ashamed that I had to go at all. There are books and obedience teachers that would have taught you how to teach me to go to the door. Would I still be at home if I hadn’t brought fleas into the house? Without anti-flea medicine, I couldn’t get them off of me after you left me in the yard for days. Would I still be at home if I hadn’t barked? I was only saying, “I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m here, I’m here! I want to be your best friend.” Would I still be at home if I had made you happy? Hitting me didn’t make me learn how. Would I still be at home if you had taken the time to care for me and to teach manners to me? You didn’t pay attention to me after the first week or so, but I spent all my time waiting for you to love me. I died today..... Love, Your Puppy......

bil

I dunno, I quite like the idea of dying in massive debt.

I fantasise about having mortgaged everything to the hilt, run up massive debt, and quandered the lot on having a fantastic time. On my deathbed I would turn to the person there and say "What's that screaming and wailing outside?"

"It's the bank manager and the card firms. Your death will mean they can't get a penny back!"

"I die HAPPPPPPYYYYY!!!!!"

Mitzyboy

Dont they go after your surviving relations now. I'm sure there was a case as such a while back that hit the news

JLFS

So do I.......

bil

I did say it was a fantasy. Mind you, if I knew I was going to die and wanted to do something like this, it would have to be set up so that your kids had no penalties.

Of course, if you have no kids, the possibilities are endless!

Wanderer5

Problem - you need some notice of such a life-changing event, in order to be able to cancel your credit cards.

Only odd-ball characters, such as Idi Amin, former Ugandan despot, seem to know the date of their deaths...

Domino

that would make interesting reading, as I thought that if an individual died intestate they wouldnt be able to meet their debts. As such their estate could be passed to the Official Receiver, who would have liability.
The only time a relative would be liable is if it can be proved the deceased had transferred assets to a relative prior to death to evade debts.
IMHO

Mitzyboy

No, the estate is handled by a solicitor who has the will and therefore the solicitor will take into account any claim that is made against them.

When my father died his credit card bill was collected from his estate, as was the small balance of his car loan. Mortgages will obviously become part of the estate.

tommy.irene

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Nick's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Nick's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Nick sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.

"Blimey Nick, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."



So, Here I am.

tommy.irene