wimpy

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.

' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.

'Love dress? But you're naked!'

'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.

'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'

The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

'What are you doing?' he asked.

'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.

'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'

Persephone

Any more?

dreamfish

Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going to sleep."
"I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore three times!"

dreamfish

This is simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid...
You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds...
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times...
This provides a 'power- wash ' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home...
Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom and run outside where he will dry himself.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely, The Dog

Sheff_Sparky

Maz

and a huge to the last one!