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You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Old Oct 6th 2013, 4:12 pm
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Default You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

You know you've been in the Middle East too long when...
• You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
• You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative
• You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
• Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
• You believe that speed limits are only advisory
• You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
• You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
• You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
• You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
• You make left turns from the far right lane
• You send friends a map instead of your address
• You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
• You think that "Howareyou" is one word. So is "Mamsir"
• You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
• You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
• You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
• You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore
• You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
• You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
• You realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
• You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
• You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
• You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
• Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles
• You overtake a police car at 130KM/HRA
• Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes
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Old Oct 6th 2013, 5:48 pm
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

potato peeler!
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 4:11 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

..... when you start to forget how much you hate it....
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 8:38 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

I had one of these moments the other day. My son came home from school telling us all about the American Civil War and a man named 'Ibrahim Lincoln'.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 8:42 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by LaLaLayla View Post
I had one of these moments the other day. My son came home from school telling us all about the American Civil War and a man named 'Ibrahim Lincoln'.
now that'd get the tea party riled up nicely
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 9:00 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

When you know not to bother asking any form of complicated question to anyone in any service orientated business.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 10:41 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
When you know not to bother asking any form of complicated question to anyone in any service orientated business.
Make that "any" question...in fact, considering to ask a question shows you have not been in the ME long.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 10:48 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by Alexa View Post
Make that "any" question...in fact, considering to ask a question shows you have not been in the ME long.
Yes, but I'll accept the opposite extreme of asking the same question 4 times, getting 4 different answers and having to keep asking until you get the same answer at least twice....writing down that answer so you can argue later when it's suddenly different.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 11:20 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

I never ask questions, I got sick of hearing the answers they thought you wanted to hear
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 11:40 am
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
When you know not to bother asking any form of complicated question to anyone in any service orientated business.


Or technical questions about tools/equipment/processes.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 12:27 pm
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
When you know not to bother asking any form of complicated question to anyone in any service orientated business.
I refrain form even asking simple questions now. Ordering takeout in my home is banned by telephone because they always screw it up. If they don't have a website or appear on one of the many take out consolidation sites I don't eat it.

Same applies to taxis. I refuse to use RTA for pre-arranged rides, I only use Careem or Uber.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 12:30 pm
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by TheShed View Post
I refrain form even asking simple questions now. Ordering takeout in my home is banned by telephone because they always screw it up. If they don't have a website or appear on one of the many take out consolidation sites I don't eat it.

Same applies to taxis. I refuse to use RTA for pre-arranged rides, I only use Careem or Uber.
What are Uber like? I seem to only be able to book for 'now'...whereas Careem only seem to take bookings well in advance, except for brunch times....I generally end up using neither.

I got told off for screaming down the phone that my number was 05....29... not 05....39...Eventually he said he got it right and when the order arrived, low and behold it was 39.

I don't get how they sound so similar.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 12:34 pm
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
What are Uber like? I seem to only be able to book for 'now'...whereas Careem only seem to take bookings well in advance, except for brunch times....I generally end up using neither.

I got told off for screaming down the phone that my number was 05....29... not 05....39...Eventually he said he got it right and when the order arrived, low and behold it was 39.

I don't get how they sound so similar.
Sorry, clarification there. Careem for pre-booked (airport etc) Uber for now rides. Have used Uber about 4 times and they were very good. Always arrived within 10 mins, direct to the address based on GPS. Nice clean cars and even cool water in the back. Slightly pricier than Careem (maybe 5-8%) but worth it when you cant find an RTA. I'm using Careem to get me to Sandance on Friday and hopefully Uber on the way home (there will likely be some Ubers in Atlantis' car park).
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 12:37 pm
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by TheShed View Post
Sorry, clarification there. Careem for pre-booked (airport etc) Uber for now rides. Have used Uber about 4 times and they were very good. Always arrived within 10 mins, direct to the address based on GPS. Nice clean cars and even cool water in the back. Slightly pricier than Careem (maybe 5-8%) but worth it when you cant find an RTA. I'm using Careem to get me to Sandance on Friday and hopefully Uber on the way home (there will likely be some Ubers in Atlantis' car park).
Interesting. What kind of motors do Uber use?

Careem annoyed me because they massively took the piss to get me to the airport (I'm sure I posted about it) but then redeemed themselves because it was half-free credit, so couldn't complain too much, but also emailed apologising and all that jazz. Definitely wouldn't stop me from using them again.
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Old Oct 7th 2013, 12:43 pm
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Default Re: You know you've been in the middle east too long when...

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Careem annoyed me because they massively took the piss to get me to the airport (I'm sure I posted about it) but then redeemed themselves because it was half-free credit, so couldn't complain too much, but also emailed apologising and all that jazz. Definitely wouldn't stop me from using them again.
Now if they're 5 minutes late for an airport run it's free. And you can use the 'now' option.
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