shiva

"so why do you want the job?"

Note I have thought of and come close to saying these but have yet to say any outloud, tbh it's only a matter of time as I have little self control


"actually I don't but since I have to earn a living and you pay well here I am"
" Actually I don't any more, you seem to be a complete tit but I reckon I can manipulate you quite easily"

"so why should we give you the job?"
"because you want to make more money"

I've actually used this one a few times and got the job every time

giddyup

Internal interview for a promotion and was asked what are your most positive attributes...I replied that I was handsome, witty, courageous, intelligent, creative etc etc

They then asked what people might say my negative attributes were?

I replied "That I was a compulsive liar"

I got the job

Sandboy

in the NE of England....

him - "come in son, sit down. red and white or black and white? "
me - "red and white "
him "wrong answer, you've got some work to do now if you want the job"

I did get it and he was a top bloke

scrubbedexpat141

I like asking questions that make people squirm a little.

You'd be surprised how many expats here get a bit flustered with simple, soft, general, bollocks ones, and then just blatantly lie;

(In regards to GM / Ops Director posts)

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Now, wait for them to umm, arr, procrastinate and then make up some shit covering the fact that in 3 years they want to be at home playing golf with the money they make from this job in the bank, not giving a shit about the 5 year plan that the new company want them to lead.

Classic.

The Dean

In the volatile and uncertain world we now live in, any company that thinks you can plan five years ahead is going to end up where it deserves to be......

Nowhere.

scrubbedexpat141

Flip that though.


If any company doesn't plan X years ahead is going to end up nowhere.

Swings / Roundabouts.

The Dean

I think a five-DAY plan is a good idea - after four days, you review how you are getting on, then tear it up and write a new one......

scrubbedexpat141

I like a plan. Direction is good, on the whole, depending who provides / decides it.

weasel decentral

Exactly, companies that think they can plan on a macro level for 5 years are seriously deluded, the plan of the day is be opportunistic. Anything else is a waste of time.

Kix

"So why do you want to kill people"

I was 16, getting interviewed for aircrew (pilot) at RAF careers office by handlebar moustached Squadron Leader.

weasel decentral

and the answer was?

Kix

It's not the person, it's the machine and what it's capable of that you want to eliminate.

I passed, got to the three day initial aircrew selection process in Biggin Hill and failed my medical on my eyesight.

scrubbedexpat141

Sorry mate, can you make the font bigger. Can't read it.

Kix

Too much w@anking Scampy???

scrubbedexpat141

No, your maid and wife are experts at the double-handed-pepper-grinder.