Bahtatboy

You could get a boob job while you're at it.

Myusernamewastaken

Perhaps it's easier to change the name of the child if the name is foreign? I think that Champagne could be a rather cute name though. If they are so unhappy with the name, why not just add a second name and use that instead?

If you are hoping for some juicy details you will be disappointed. I was more looking at giving an example where a romantic interest could well be mutual - and if that interest is any more or less likely to form if the parties are biologically related if that fact isn't known to them.

So far no one has replied in the lines of "when I found out that my 20 year old child of the opposite sex wasn't my biological child, I didn't start to look at him or her in another way", perhaps understandably so.. as I mentioned earlier, it is still a little interesting how the biology works, if humans subconsciously know who won't give them a good offspring due to being too closely related. The Dean, it's not all about juicy details even if this thread seems to have gone mad.

Bahtatboy

Looks like I might have to retract my statement in that case. It wasn't like that 50 years ago (god that makes me sound old). FFS: who controls Social Services? Who's responsible for setting their policies, or allowing them to set nut-case policies? I'm aware that the adoption programme across the UK is horribly fragmented, but I didn't know it was this mental. It appears that those in charge are determined to set policy merely because it fits their own sentiments (or political leanings) in total disregard of and at the appalling cost to those they should be serving. It is called a ******* "service" after all.

Bahtatboy

That's pretty deep psychological stuff your probing there. We're better at telling you when there's a new flyover open or how to get rid of cockroaches.

And I'm a bit puzzled by the bit in red: how would a "parent" find out that his 20-year daughter wasn't his biological daughter? (Unless he'd discovered his wife had been screwing the milkman 20 years ago, but that's not in the script so far...)

Myusernamewastaken

Apart from when there is a nagging feeling to find out the fact for sure, it happens that refugees are DNA tested to find out if their claimed children are their own. I guess that it also could be found out within medicine if there is any disease to the child or father (hereditary or perhaps the need to donate organs?). I've heard about medical experiments when comparing DNA between parents and their children and they actually find out a certain not negligable percentage where the perceived biological father actually isn't but in those cases the family is usually not told about it.

I've heard that if children are made through official sperm donation in Sweden the child has, at least at some stage, an absolute right to on request know who the biological father is. It is seldom used though, perhaps because there is no obligation to tell the child how he or she was conceived.

Speaking about Woody Allen again, I read that the divorced wife I think it was told that he wasn't the biological father to one of his grown up children if I remember correctly.

Bahtatboy

Stay in the right hand lane and take the exit just before the bridge...

The Dean

Why would you assume that Leicestershire County Council's policy is the universally applied and accepted one? Their policy document is somewhat contradictory anyway......

Myusernamewastaken

What is that supposed to mean? You said it yourself, perhaps you should stick to less deep conversations. Or perhaps you don't like the discussion of the possible importance of a biological relation within a family? Perhaps understandably so without trying to diss you too much.

Bahtatboy

I assumed it was indicative--surely there's got to be some national uniformity.

Bahtatboy

My previous response was meant to be light, and I was going to respond meaningfully when I had time. But with your last sentence you can just **** right off.

Myusernamewastaken

If someone tells me to figuratively drive to the closest bridge I find that offensive. As such I naturally react to such a comment. If it was meant in a nice way, and you knew that it was interpreted otherwise, then it might not be a necessity to ask to **** off.

I try not to make enemies unnecessarily. If there is something that you want to say or ask but not in public feel free to PM me.

moneypenny20

From what I can see, the only thing done at an early age was the tummy button op. I'd like to think it was majorly bad/deformed that it was messing with her head during PE at school or something like that. If it was just because Daddy didn't like the look of it then that's just plain wrong. Nowt so queer as folk...

Meow

OriginalSunshine

It's deliberately contradictory so that they cannot be sued. However, when you are q'ing to adopt, you jump through whatever the aptly named SS tell you to, or you get labelled as "difficult". That means accepting names of the children and keeping them. Because sometimes as much as the name makes you cringe, when the child is 5-6 yrs old, and has always been known as that name, and has been abused by both stepdad and mum, but child still loves her mum, after all she is her mum, then you want to give that child as much stability as you can. And sometimes that means accepting she is called Chardonnay rather than Charlotte. Because unlike 50yrs ago, most adopted kids don't come from single mums out of wedlock, but kids with, sometimes severe, emotional & behavioural difficulties from disturbed families, and very rarely are they babies being adopted but toddlers or older.