The US
 

Finally my trip to the US comes to an end. I've not been here for 18 years or more, so in case you are like me I thought I'd report back:

- It's impossible to get pissed on Miller Lite or Bud Lite. They are quite refreshing though.

- The Americans are generally quite interested in the affairs of the Middle East but know bugger all about it.

- American news is hilarious - live at the scene anchor-reporter correspondence of a tree fallen down taking out two lanes of a three lane road for 30 mins followed by a 30s passing reference to a mass grave found in Syria.

- The food is tasteless but there is a good selection. It's almost impossible to order a coffee in starbucks for all of the questions.

- People look bored, spend lots of time in the office and produce nothing. They wait at empty roads for a sign telling them to cross. When the man says you can cross cars are then allowed to turn left into the crossing (WTF!)

- Free uncensorded wifi is everywhere. If you finally do manage to order a latte in starbucks you can enjoy it while surfing "the hun". Which is nice.

- It is quite nice to be able to pop out to a strip club at 2.15pm that is packed full of girls. You might wish to do this between meetings for instance.

- The girls in the strip bars all look the same. Blonde, blue eyes, fake tits and fat asses.

- They are finally worried about corn-sugar and the fact that it makes them fat. I think the coke tastes different.

- The police / security services are assholes and operate like robots.

- Returns policy on stuff is awesome. Against my better judgement I bought an IPAD and was able to return it after 2 days and swap it for a new one as I believe it to be faulty. Turns out they are just shite.

- The white house is very unimpressive.

- Petrol is quite expensive - 4 USD for a small US gallon. So, about 3.6DH/ litre.

- Happy hours run in bars from 4-7pm. 2 USD for a bottle of beer that doesn't get you drunk. 10 USD in the strip bars including a cover.

- People don't smile when you walk down the street. Normally they have their face pushed in to their mobile GPS.

- St Michaels is beautiful.

- The TV is full of adverts for weird drugs for problems I didn't realise I had. Dry Mouth for instance is cured by a special mouthwash rather than water or tea.

- The women make no effort in their dress. Let me look at a high maintenance lebbo/russian any day.

- It is possible to have a chat with a stripper about her gun collection and see photos on her mobile phone of her in action.

- Blackberries get nicked by co-workers in the office.

- Half the country doesn't seem to speak English.

- The place feels like it's losing its competitive edge.

All in, a funny ol' place. Not awful, and I wouldn't bet against them in the next 5 years (unless it is war in the mountains or jungle), but totally screwed up all the same. No doubt I'll be there again in a few months... I can wait.

Re: The US
 

so you enjoyed yourself then?

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Were you based in DC? because in my experience once you get out of the central area with the white house and museums then the rest of DC is a ghetto.

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no, there's some ok areas...georgetown is really nice for example (unless you're counting that as central?)...

MM, xx

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Ah. You were in DC. I lived in DC for a few years before coming to Dubai. DC is not representative of the US as a whole, even if it is a capital city.

- It's impossible to get pissed on Miller Lite or Bud Lite. They are quite refreshing though.

No. It is possible. You need to drink eight or so bottles. Remember that the US standard bottle size is like half a pint. But why are you drinking shit beer? Most bars will have Sam Adams or Bass on draught, or even Yeungling. These are quite decent beer and comparable to Stella. America also has a thriving microbrewery scene, and of course the usual standbys of Coronoas and Heineken are always around.

- The Americans are generally quite interested in the affairs of the Middle East but know bugger all about it.

It was different because you were in DC, but 95% of Americans couldn't give bugger all about the Mid East. They pretend it just doesn't exist.

- American news is hilarious - live at the scene anchor-reporter correspondence of a tree fallen down taking out two lanes of a three lane road for 30 mins followed by a 30s passing reference to a mass grave found in Syria.


So - the news is actually reporting something the viewers are interested in?

- The food is tasteless but there is a good selection. It's almost impossible to order a coffee in starbucks for all of the questions.

I take it you ate at fast food places and generic "upscale" family chains. Most foreigners complain that US food is either too sweet or too salt, not necessarily tasteless. But America has excellent food and it's easier to get good food in the US than in, say, the UK or Dubai.

- People look bored, spend lots of time in the office and produce nothing. They wait at empty roads for a sign telling them to cross. When the man says you can cross cars are then allowed to turn left into the crossing (WTF!)

American workers have the highest productivity levels in the world. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/6976084.stm

Brits are much more likely to queue and wait at stop signs than Americans are - but you were in DC and the penalties can be quite stiff for jaywalking. Go elsewhere, Baltimore, Cincinnati, Orlando etc, people jaywalk all the time. Especially in the ghettos.

- Free uncensorded wifi is everywhere. If you finally do manage to order a latte in starbucks you can enjoy it while surfing "the hun". Which is nice.

No shit, Sherlock.

- It is quite nice to be able to pop out to a strip club at 2.15pm that is packed full of girls. You might wish to do this between meetings for instance.

- The girls in the strip bars all look the same. Blonde, blue eyes, fake tits and fat asses.


Can't comment. Never been to a strip club. Have to wonder where you went to one if you were working in central DC. Strip clubs are regulated and tend to be in shitty suburban areas. The ones near DC will be out by PG County.

- They are finally worried about corn-sugar and the fact that it makes them fat. I think the coke tastes different.

Americans are ironically possibly the most image conscious people in the world - and the fattest in the western world. Can't really comment or disagree. But Americans do love their cokes.

- The police / security services are assholes and operate like robots.

Private security guards are keystone cops on prozac. Tell me, though, how did you get involved with a police? I think in all the years I lived in the US I never spoke to a police officer.

- Returns policy on stuff is awesome. Against my better judgement I bought an IPAD and was able to return it after 2 days and swap it for a new one as I believe it to be faulty. Turns out they are just shite.

Yep. If a store goes on sale a week after you bought a product, you can often take the receipt back and get the difference refunded! American retail is flat down the best and cheapest and most consumer friendly in the world.

- The white house is very unimpressive.

Agreed. It's no more remarkable than a modest stately home. But when it was built it was by far the biggest house in the US. Washington's Mount Vernon was one of the biggest private houses in colonial America but compared in size to only a prosperous farmhouse in Kent or Somerset.

- Petrol is quite expensive - 4 USD for a small US gallon. So, about 3.6DH/ litre.

I remember when petrol was $1 a gallon. Sigh. Those were the days. Still cheaper than the UK!

- Happy hours run in bars from 4-7pm. 2 USD for a bottle of beer that doesn't get you drunk. 10 USD in the strip bars including a cover.

American happy hours are a blast. You can load up and still drive home afterwards!

- People don't smile when you walk down the street. Normally they have their face pushed in to their mobile GPS.

That's a DC and New York phenomena, partly because of the transient nature of the towns and partly because of the large urban poor black population. Go elsewhere, suburbia, or the midwest and southern and western cities, it's very, very different.

- St Michaels is beautiful.

No shit, Sherlock. Did you stay at the Inn at Perry Cabin? I prefer Oxford nearby. Annapolis on the west side of the bay is also very pretty. Altogether I wouldn't call the Eastern Shore beautiful but it is charming. Best boating area in the US because there are no rocks in the Cheasapeake so you can get blotto and not have to worry too much about crashing into rocks.

- The TV is full of adverts for weird drugs for problems I didn't realise I had. Dry Mouth for instance is cured by a special mouthwash rather than water or tea.

Yeah. American thing. Very health conscious but also some of the most unhealthy (fat) people in the developed world.

- The women make no effort in their dress. Let me look at a high maintenance lebbo/russian any day.

You ain't spent enough time around the right people. DC is filled with high maintenance, particulary Southern, girls from the sororities at the universities of Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia etc. These girls are stunning and in a refreshing, I'm definitely not a prostitute way. New England girls are the ugliest in the country, very much like English countrywomen. No makeup. 20 year old horsy clothes.

- It is possible to have a chat with a stripper about her gun collection and see photos on her mobile phone of her in action.

No comment.

- Blackberries get nicked by co-workers in the office.

No comment.

- Half the country doesn't seem to speak English.

DC specific. Very large immigrant population in and around DC. Go outside DC it's quite different.

- The place feels like it's losing its competitive edge.

DC is a politics town. Talk about competitive edge, go to Texas or Georgia or Colorado. Denver, Atlanta, Charlotte, Houston, Dallas etc have very different, very pro-business, very pro-growth vibes.

Re: The US
 

Northwest DC is pleasant. The stretch from Georgetown all the way to 16th is fully gentrified and expensive as hell, including Dupot and Logan circles. The wave of gentrification is pushing further and further eastwards.

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I haven't been to the US since a trip to Phoenix about 11 or 12 years ago on business. Spent everyday in the hotel or office, working on a project. Few things I recall:

- Turned up to the hotel which was full of men with moustaches wearing cowboy boots and shirts with sequins and tassles. The lady on the desk apologized (not sure why) and explained the Gay Rodeo was in town. I embarrassed her when I explained my gear was still in my suitcase. She didn't realise I was joking. They don't seem to do humour.

- You need photo ID to get into a bar even if you're obviously over 21. Photo ID means a US drivers license from any state, the format of which the door staff cannot possibly know but seem to accept regardless. But if you produce a British passport, they'll spend 10 minutes examining it and making some phonecalls to find out if it is ok to let you in. It'll get you into the country, but get into a bar to buy some weak watery beer? Maybe, if you're patient.

- Every street has an adult bookstore and the locals like their porn. My hotel in central Phoenix looked out over a big car park, which had an adult bookstore of its own detached and right in the middle. I thought it was a drive thru restaurant at first, that's what it looked like and it was busy people coming and going from at least 7.30am when I first peered out. They really do like their porn, but a bit of tit-slip during the superbowl and the producers that let it happen will be put on death row to await a lethal injection.

- the TV is unwatchable, there is an advert break every 5 minutes with the same boring adverts, and the program switches in and out of adverts with no warning so at times you're not sure what the hell is going on. No wonder they all just download anything worth watching from bittorrent instead.

- If you go to watch 'sport', then everybody there is really there for the beer and food and doesn't really give a toss about what is happening in the game. I went to see a hockey (that's ice hockey) game as my client had a private box, and when the game started I hardly noticed - no big cheer like you get at a football match. And no atmosphere. The most exciting part was during the break when they had two radio controlled airships flying about dropping t-shirts and other stuff on the crowd.

I haven't been back since they started wanting all kinds of private information and form filling to let you in to the country. Parts of every city are controlled by armed gangs that routinely have shoot-outs with rival gangs, and occasionally just blast innocent people, but the government and population are obsessed about shaking down every foreigner in case they're a 'terrist'.

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Georgia 15 years ago.... Trying to get in a bar with old paper DL, guy looks and refuses entry but says passport would be ok but thats 30 miles away in hotel. So I say "ok, can you inform my friend who you just let in that he and the 30 others already in there of my situation and that we need to find another bar ASAP", Guy wispers to the other doorman.... "ok sir, sorry for the problem, you may enter"

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Same here, free tickets to game, spent half of it in the bar as did quite a few others... I was really interested in getting to watch the game but someone said "The teams suck, lets wait a bit more till they start the fighting", 10 mins later fights start to happen.... we go down to seats (2 rows from front) and catch a few crippling body checks and a some other illeagal stick actions... they were right the teams were not great but it was agreed by all a great game!

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A 0-1 score line to the other team is still a loss but if its an own goal at least its not a real victory for them

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That's applicable throughout the western world, not just the states. Visit the average UK town centre and you'll be hard pressed to see any women who look a bit like women ;)

N.

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:rofl::rofl: You have obviously been to Newport then :eek:

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I have never been to the USA and have no inclination to go either :o

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Pissed on 4 pints of Lite beer? So 2 pints of London Pride or Directors and I guess you'd be under the table.:(

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Come on Bahtatboy- you know posh boys cant hold their drink!

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It is quite an interesting place in many ways, but often scary in others. Houston is a mixture of hi tech space research and low rise acres & acres of dull industrial and commercial estates.

New York & New Jersey were vibrant. Had 2 visits there to a centre that specialised in working with autistic children (I have 2) and spend sometime with a lovely family we met at the centre. Their extended family remided me of the Sopranos a bit, but with the Italian grandmother firmly charge.

Supermarkets are strange - fish counter, meat counter, gun counter but no booze! - had to go to a liquor store & keep purchase well out of sight in a brown bag in the trunk - sound familiar? :)

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I've been to many places and am sad to report we just don't dress very well anymore. It seems equal rights in the west involves women emulating the worst habits of badly dressed men!

Still we can't expect much after several generations of being told to have no pride, no national unity and certainly no traditions (beyond moaning of course...they'll never take that from us :p).

N.

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But you never go anywhere other than Arte Souk and Newcastle.

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US liquor laws are dictated by the local authorities. One suburb will allow the sale of alcohol in supermarkets whereas the suburb next door bans it. By the standards of Europe America is a very decentralised nation with a great deal of land use and sin laws left to local authorities.

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Sounds like a 'Really Awesome' version of Sharjah!
Anyone for a 'Cross Burning' this weekend?

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A typical town can't ban the sale of porn outright due to freedom of speech laws, but they can still prohibit adult bookshops within X feet of a school or church, and given that there's either a school or church on every other block in the US, it's no brainer how the porn issue is settled.

All the adult shops tend to be congreted in one strip with a few strip clubs. Your typical Brit corner shop has a much larger selection of porn than an American market will have. American teenage boys are always shocked at the ability to buy porn in the UK versus the US.

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There are still entire counties in the midwest and southern states that are "dry" (except for the local country club, of course).

But - while counties can ban the sale of alcohol, they can't prohibit you from drinking it.

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Sounds more like Sharjah by the minute! - Awesome Dude!

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My only experiences of the USA were a few months in Minneapolis (1998) and a few days in New York (2008). The ID thing was weird but everywhere was fine with my passport, although the Brits Pub never asked for ID (they did the best scotch eggs I've ever tasted there).

The humour thing is spot on. They don't get irony or sarcasm and take everything literally. Combined with the constant worries over sexual harassment allegations (we got warned about this a lot by our company), it got to a point where I felt I couldn't speak to a woman in the office at all.

Went to a baseball game and enjoyed the giant hotdog and bucket of beer.

My time in NY was great. I felt like I was on a film set seeing the Empire State Building and Central Park for real. Had some great food, almost everyone was really friendly. I'd go back at the drop of a hat, and would love to do a cross-country drive one day.

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Living in Boston I had to show ID in every bar, except the very local ones. No open bottles on the street (which is a good rule) Show ID buying cigarettes in a local store. No gambling or bookies of any sort in most of New England, except the illegal ones Tony Soprano style. Then on the other hand..

Huge incidence of drink driving, lots of strip clubs, most people I knew were cannabis smokers old or young, and plenty of gang and street violence.

I saw in some places like Carolina poverty that would almost equal some of the worst I have seen in any country, which really surprised me.

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That's because Boston is a college town and there's, what, 100,000 students among the various universities. I went to university up there and I did get carded, but not necessarily all the time. Never got carded in DC or Denver. Ditto for New York.

Your post generally says more about you and the people you associate with than Americans as a whole.

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:lol: yes I hung out with scumbags and gang members, it wasn't a criticism I was describing what I encountered. I didnt exactly work for the salvation army when I was there.

Anyhow thanks for correcting me on the things I saw with my own eyes

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I spent half my childhood in the US and went to university in the US and spent (so far) half my working career in the US.

Your post implied a few things that aren't true. Most people don't smoke cannabis, old or young. Strip bars aren't on every street corner. Gang fights and warfare do exist but only in very restricted areas in certain US cities. Boston is no more dangerous than any UK city, for example.

Most Americans, say 75%, are boring and clean people who live in boring, clean houses and drive boring, clean cars and work at boring jobs and eat at boring restaurants and never get robbed, rarely get drunk, never consume drugs, and in general, are unremarkable people. That's why I find all these posts about the peculiarity of the US rather strange - unless being boring is a peculiarity. I could post about the UK cannabis habit or prostitutes in London (the prossie scene in the UK is much, much bigger than almost anywhere in the US), gang warfare on housing estates, but we all know that it's not representative of life in the UK for the overwhelming majority of Brits, who, like their American counterparts, live quiet, decent and boring lives.

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My post implied what I encountered no more or less than that. I was asked for ID in bars, and for cigarettes, there were a lot of strip bars ( bearing in mind in Dublin where I live there is maybe 1 or 2, and I didnt say every street corner) gambling was illegal.
There were parts of Boston and New York especially where I would not enter, there are very few parts of Dublin like that.
And people smoked a lot of weed. I also spent a lot of time working in Houston and except for being asked for ID for cigarettes it was a similar kind of experience.
Can't I have my own impression of America? :lol:

Bizzarely (or maybe not depending on your view), Nashville was my favourite city, not for the music, but for the atmosphere and general friendliness, closely followed by San Antonio

Edit to say just to be pedantic but the most recent productivity figures (not from 2006) the countries are luxembourg, norway, ireland, belgium then USA (http://stats.oecd.org/Index.aspx?DataSetCode=LEVEL)

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Satan's Gavotte! - Country & Western!

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not for the music :D really clean open well laid out city, with a friendly population and a good feeling about it. Plus it had San francisco style trams

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I was half expecting, but didn't want, this to be a US bashing thread. That said, I was expecting a couple of US posters to go for 'attack is the best form of defence' route.

Anyway, as I sit in T5 awaiting my connection I can report it's not much different here. Other than the chicks understand my jokes.

Oh, and george town was lovely. The town planner must have been a fan of Tonbridge Wells.

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I always enjoy visiting the US (although US immigration is by far the worst 'welcome' to a country I have ever experienced around the World) because the place is absolute bananas.

I can't see how you can generalise about Americans when the diversity between East, South and West coasts makes it feel like you're in a different country each time...although none of them seem to understand a UK midlands accent :) - I have more success in Saudi!

...having said that though I think the tipping culture needs an overhaul

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It's Georgetown and Tunbridge Wells.

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ROYAL Tunbridge Wells, if you are being pedantic....:D

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Disgusted
of Tonbridge Wells!

(Nice to see that you corrected the george town spolling)

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Go easy Tonbridge and Royal Tunbridge Wells are only about 5 miles apart.

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Ok, fair enough.:)

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Tunbridge Wells is the God's Waiting Room of Kent!
The smell of Urine, Biscuits, and Murray Mints hits you at the border!

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when typing on a 2 inch keyboard think I care?

Anyway Georgetown was nice enough. Dull, but nice enough. I tried to get pissed by the harbour but just couldn't get the volume of that crappy beer inside me.