I have obviously settled in here too much as went to buy some paint today from Dulux, selected my colour, told the seemingly competent man which colour I wanted, 5 minutes later he appears with my tub of paint- very efficient I thought, get home excitedly open my paint ready to transform my house into a boudoir to discover he's given me the wrong colour - grrrrrrrrr. My fault as I should have checked in the shop but FFS!!!

So tip one of the ultimate guide to Dubai;

1) Never trust anyone to do their job correctly- micro-managing is key to getting things done correctly!

Any more?

Kittycat sitting in her unpainted house

Get 2 buckets and on one write Money and on the other write Sh*t , when either one is full to the brim of it's respective contents leave.....!

KC1. Don't go to ACE or the other crap high priced stores. Look for local stores with JOTUN sign. They are the best

I got quote from ACE etc for my new house 5k plus. Went to local man; Mrs Shed totally happy with colors ; Total bill 2k!!!!

I've actually just come back from a tailors in Karama who had promised to have a dress ready by 21h30 last night - I phoned him at 18h yesterday, at which point the item wasn't ready, cue the "it'll be ready at 21h30 then?" "Yes ma'am" "You sure?" "yes, ma'am" "Promise?" "Yes ma'am" [reminds oneself that things are never done on time here, so make mental not to leave him more time and spare the aggro]... rocked up this evening and he goes "you're late!"

Like... since when has anyone, ever done anything on time in Dubai?!
[jaw drop smilie]


I have his number if anyone wants a tailor who means "1 day turnaround" when he says it!

The golden rule can be summed up in less words:

1) Never trust anyone

My car had a minor oil change type service and a new drive belt. I gave it to them on Wednesday morning, said I'd pick it up on Saturday as I was travelling... 'no problem sir, we will finish it on Wednesday ready for you.'

you can see where this is going...

It wasn't ready on Saturday. After much calling (but no ranting) I'm told it was ready and should go to collect it before 1pm. I got there at 12.30... '10 minutes Sir'. I left at 2.30. The ****ers could have / must have done it while I waited.

don't trust anyone with a tash

Oi

Oi 2


Stages of repair work:

Visit 1. Man comes to look at what is needed, even though you have explained in detail.

Visit 2. Man comes back with man who will actually do the repair to look at what is needed.

Visit 3. Repair man comes, but with wrong tools and parts.

Visit 4. Repair man comes and after some difficulty: 'Repair is done Sir!' (You are left to clean up any mess.)

Visit 5. Repair fails within 24 Hrs. The second repair visit does the trick usually.....but not always.

so true. I always check and tighten every piece of plumbing that is done here. For some reason the maintenance guys in the last tower I lived in were convinced that 'finger tight' is more than sufficient to hold water at 80oC and 2 bar.

You mean it isn't?

I hope the people you used to service your car weren't one of the ones I recommended? If so, let me know :curse:

Oh God- I have a man coming to fix my loo on Saturday! Give me strength!

Nah, I found the Indian version of Phil Mitchell and the arches. I'll use your guys for the paint job and timing chain. Phil can do my oil...

less still a Yorkshireman with a tash

Double Oi!

Of course workmanship issues are not confined to the ME.

eg Bernard Cribbens 60s 'Right Said Fred'


and this old ditty from Flanders and Swann

http://www.iankitching.me.uk/humour/hippo/gas.html