Madam Medusa

yeah, he'll have to wrestle with me to get it off...you know how attached i am to it...

MM, xx

BangleMan

Dont wear him out before the game, ffs...

Spugsy

yeah tell him to come along, its just a load of lads picking teams and playing, there's a bloke who used to play for newcastle in goal, and he's 56! He is very fit mind you.

How old is Mr MM?

Spugsy

I like a girl in a footy shirt...

lionheart

Personally I prefer one without

The Dean

50 posts without a single Luton Town piss-take.....

.... things are looking up.........

BangleMan

Not for long.....

How do you know when Luton are losing? It’s 5 past 3


Q: Why do Luton fans plant potatoes round the edge of Kenilworth Road?
A: So they have SOMETHING to lift at the end of the season


Q: What is the difference between a man with no tongue and a Luton fan?
A: The man with no tongue has better taste.


The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Luton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says, "Well at least Dopey's alive!"


A man goes into Heathrow Airport and eventually goes into the departure lounge waiting for his flight home to be called. All around him there are overturned tables, upturned chairs, smashed windows, flight monitors broken and crowd control barriers lying on the floor. "Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground crew. "Oh yeah", he replies "Bloody hopeless .... we had the Luton players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad."


Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Luton Players on them... People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

BangleMan

And so as not to leave out my wonderful friends from Newcastle, Aberdeen and Man Utd...

Newcastle United :

Prince Harry was on the front line for months without anybody noticing, Michael Owen says he knows exactly how he feels ....

Q. What does a newcastle fan do when he sees his team beat real madrid
6 -0 in the champions league final?
A: turns off his PS2 and gets into bed with his sister!!

Q: What do Toon fans and laxatives have in common?
A: Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.

Quasimodo asks Esmeralda, "Am I really the ugliest b****** in the world?"
"Why don't you go upstairs to the Magic Mirror and ask ?" says Esmeralda.
Quasimodo goes upstairs to the mirror and returns a few minutes later.
As he hobbles in Esmeralda asks "Well, what did the mirror say ?"
To which Quasimodo replies, "Who's Kevin keegan?"


Man United :


Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common
with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.

Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.


Aberdeen :


Q: How many Aberdeen fans can you get in a police car?
A: One in the front, one in the back, and one on top going "nee naw neee
naww neee naw"

Q: What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp-post in Aberdeen?
A: A leisure centre.

Q: Why did the Dons fan climb the glass window?
A. To see what was on the other side.

One day 2 dons fans were doing a crossword.
Jock turns to Angus and says "Old McDonald had one of these?"
"Hey, I know" says Angus, "It's got tae be a farm".
"How do you spell that?" asks Jock.
"E-I-E-I-O" says Angus.

Q: What's the difference between an aberdeen fan and a Chimp?
A: Ones hairy, stupid and smells, and the other is a chimpanzee.

Q: What do you call an Aberdeen fan with lots of girlfriends?
A: A Shepherd

Two Dons supporting farmers are flying with their herd of sheep to a new farm.
Suddenly, the plane engine fails and it rapidly descends towards the ground.
Dons Fan 1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!
Dons Fan 2: What about the sheep ???
Dons Fan 1: **** the sheep!!!
Dons Fan 2: ...(pause)... Do you think we have time?

Q: What do you call an Aberdeen fan with Five sheep?
A: A pimp.

Inselaffen

I don't know. You'd probably fancy him after a few wines

Inselaffen

sounds like the typical view of a bitter and twisted Citeh fan!

Inselaffen

just to be fair

1. Alan Curbishley is wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he notices an old lady struggling with her shopping. He stops and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady replies, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

2. What's the difference between West Ham's goalkeeper and a taxi driver?
The taxi driver will only let four in!

3. What’s the worst thing about Upton park?
The seats face the pitch.

- Alan Curbishley doesn't stand for nonsense. Last Saturday he caught a couple of fans climbing over the stadium wall. Absolutely filled with rage he grabbed them by the collars and said, "Get back in there and watch the game till it finishes!"

- Apparently, when Harry Redknapp was West ham manager he offered to send the squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they declined. They'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.

- A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"
"Because he beats me" said the little boy.
"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.
Because she beats me aswell.
"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"
The little boy replied" I would like to live with West Ham United, because they don't beat anyone."

- What's the difference between a West Ham fan and a supermarket trolley?
The trolley has a mind of it's own.

- West Ham manager Alan Curbishly walked into the Nationwide Building Society one day whilst a robbery was in progress. One of the robbers hits him over the head and knocks Curbs out cold.
While coming around, Alan says "Christ, where the hell am I?"
One of the staff tells him he was in the Nationwide
Curbs replies, "It's May already then!"

- Four surgeons are taking a tea break:
1st surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says, "Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says, "Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says, "I prefer West Ham fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."

The Dean

OK I'll take two Newcastle jokes and one Aberdeen please.....

.... you can take the Luton one about Heathrow back....

Fair?

Q - Why do West Ham fans wear bras?

A - They like the idea of cups and support.........

Inselaffen

Back to the thread, yes nani was a disgrace.

so was Lucas Neill pinching and slapping like a girl before acting like he'd just caught a uppercut from tyson.

they should both be banned.

Madam Medusa

eeeuuwww...not in a million...that's clearly why i didn't know who he is...

MM, xx

Madam Medusa

monsieur medusa is a good footie player, allegedly...he was a scorer (i don't think that's the right term!) but i don't think he plays at the front now...

he's 39...

so when are you starting...?

MM, xx