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My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Last Night
Knock Knock... Hello Can I help you You give me job: I have no jobs, sorry But I want to work for you: I have no Jobs. sorry I look after your garden, wash car, cook: I don't need anyone for that: But yu av Garden, car and eat ??? Yes I do but I don't need anyone You take me, give me room: No, I not take you, don't need You bad lady No, not bad just don't need any help You not feed my family Your family not my responsibility You need to feed family, they come and stay with you, my wife cook, clean, you send children to school I don't need any help, they can not stay But you have rooms No I dont You have garden Yes with one tree I take care of tree ??? Good Bye, shut door........................... What's been yours ??? |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
lol...mine would be a few variations on the one you had...especially when we first moved here the amount of people that knocked on our door was scary...
The worst one was a carpet sales guy....I couldn't get rid of him, he kept on coming and was really persistant...not nice... And lots of phonecalls for directions...with me shouting 15the STREET!!!! and the man saying...but no 15th street here mam....and so on and so on... |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by MataHari
(Post 5761615)
lol...mine would be a few variations on the one you had...especially when we first moved here the amount of people that knocked on our door was scary...
The worst one was a carpet sales guy....I couldn't get rid of him, he kept on coming and was really persistant...not nice... And lots of phonecalls for directions...with me shouting 15the STREET!!!! and the man saying...but no 15th street here mam....and so on and so on... |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Paidtoplease
(Post 5761572)
Last Night
Knock Knock... Hello Can I help you You give me job: I have no jobs, sorry But I want to work for you: I have no Jobs. sorry I look after your garden, wash car, cook: I don't need anyone for that: But yu av Garden, car and eat ??? Yes I do but I don't need anyone You take me, give me room: No, I not take you, don't need You bad lady No, not bad just don't need any help You not feed my family Your family not my responsibility You need to feed family, they come and stay with you, my wife cook, clean, you send children to school I don't need any help, they can not stay But you have rooms No I dont You have garden Yes with one tree I take care of tree ??? Good Bye, shut door........................... What's been yours ??? you do seem to attract nutters |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Inselaffen
(Post 5761788)
surprised he didnt offer to take care of your personal needs too :D
you do seem to attract nutters |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Aha - so this is what I have to look forward to when I make it out there! :D
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by nottmbantam
(Post 5762285)
Aha - so this is what I have to look forward to when I make it out there! :D
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Just remembered one of the daftest conversations I'd had.
Picture the scene, it was October 24th, I was at home, sitting comfortably watching the telly. The house I was living in was a simple two bed terrace house, with no front garden, the front door opened out onto the pavement. I heard a knock on the door, around 7.00pm, so it was dark. Opened the door to find a youngish girl / woman ( 18ish? ) standing at my door, and noticed her boyfriend / male companion? standing a few feet behind her. her: Trick or Treat Me: Eh? her: Trick or Treat, its Halloween Me: Errmm, no its not til next week. Her: yeah, I know, but I live in London. Me: <shocked and shtunned ) errr, no thanks. |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Paidtoplease
(Post 5761624)
Hell yes, direction conversations were painfull !!!
I have to give directions by the nearest traffic lights, then a roundabout, and then say over three speed humps, and there is my villa. What colour villa sir??? Cream, like most other villas here!! |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by matthew.lewis2
(Post 5763161)
Try giving directions to a villa in an area that has no street numbers and no villa numbers!
I have to give directions by the nearest traffic lights, then a roundabout, and then say over three speed humps, and there is my villa. What colour villa sir??? Cream, like most other villas here!! then 2nd sand dune turn right, pass another 6 sand dune and mine is the sand colured villa on the left ....easy ..... |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
"Hello, Sir. I am outside your villa now."
"No you're not." "Yes I am." Ad infinitum. |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by littlejimmy
(Post 5763661)
"Hello, Sir. I am outside your villa now."
"No you're not." "Yes I am." Ad infinitum. :rofl: |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Paidtoplease
(Post 5761572)
Last Night
Knock Knock... Hello Can I help you You give me job: I have no jobs, sorry But I want to work for you: I have no Jobs. sorry I look after your garden, wash car, cook: I don't need anyone for that: But yu av Garden, car and eat ??? Yes I do but I don't need anyone You take me, give me room: No, I not take you, don't need You bad lady No, not bad just don't need any help You not feed my family Your family not my responsibility You need to feed family, they come and stay with you, my wife cook, clean, you send children to school I don't need any help, they can not stay But you have rooms No I dont You have garden Yes with one tree I take care of tree ??? Good Bye, shut door........................... What's been yours ??? |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by littlejimmy
(Post 5763661)
"Hello, Sir. I am outside your villa now."
"No you're not." "Yes I am." Ad infinitum. MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by littlejimmy
(Post 5763661)
"Hello, Sir. I am outside your villa now."
"No you're not." "Yes I am." Ad infinitum. On the phone : Madam, I am here. "Who are you ?" I am here "Very good, but who are you?" Madam, you are house "No, I am not a house and I am not expecting anybody" Yes Madam, I am here" Good, stay here. Good bye. I wonder if she is still "here".... |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
On quite a few occasions after purchasing some goods at shops in either Ibn Battuta or the Mall of the Emirates, the friendly staff often asked if I live in Dubai. I used to say yes but that was my downfall, because as soon as I said yes I was harassed to provide non-existent jobs for live-in housemaids etc. I have now learned to always say that I am a tourist or just 'on holiday' as this avoids the unwelcome questioning and I can now enjoy my Dubai shopping in peace!
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by MacScot
(Post 5769697)
On quite a few occasions after purchasing some goods at shops in either Ibn Battuta or the Mall of the Emirates, the friendly staff often asked if I live in Dubai. I used to say yes but that was my downfall, because as soon as I said yes I was harassed to provide non-existent jobs for live-in housemaids etc. I have now learned to always say that I am a tourist or just 'on holiday' as this avoids the unwelcome questioning and I can now enjoy my Dubai shopping in peace!
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
The usual script is something like.............
"Where you flom?" "Don't bother......" "You Blitish?" "If it makes you feel better, yes........" "I rike you, you big man, you rike me give you massage?" "Why would I want you to give me a massage?" "Me velly good massage. We do sex." "No thanks." "You no want rady?" "A lady? Yes. You? No." "We do good massage and good sex..........." blah blah blah.......... goes on ad infinitum......... Not the "strangest" conversation - just the most tiresomely predictable......... |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by The Dean
(Post 5771896)
The usual script is something like.............
"Where you flom?" "Don't bother......" "You Blitish?" "If it makes you feel better, yes........" "I rike you, you big man, you rike me give you massage?" "Why would I want you to give me a massage?" "Me velly good massage. We do sex." "No thanks." "You no want rady?" "A lady? Yes. You? No." "We do good massage and good sex..........." blah blah blah.......... goes on ad infinitum......... Not the "strangest" conversation - just the most tiresomely predictable......... |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by MataHari
(Post 5771904)
so you just have the sex now...cause it's easier
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by The Dean
(Post 5771916)
Well yes, but with the current exchange rate, they are just charging SOOOOO much these days - just to keep up the same amount of money they send home each month......
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by MataHari
(Post 5771920)
must be nice though...you come once and the whole village has food
(But that was VERY funny.............. that won't be improved upon today, not even by you..........). Interesting though that the whole village can get fed by five seconds of..... er....... manual labour ........ |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by The Dean
(Post 5771937)
That's not like you, MH - being INTENTIONALLY funny..........
(But that was VERY funny.............. that won't be improved upon today, not even by you..........). Interesting though that the whole village can get fed by five seconds of..... er....... manual labour ........ |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by MataHari
(Post 5771872)
that's a new one for me...never been asked that in shops....
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
what's your good name Madam?
my good name is Debbie Thanks Fateema :rofl: |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Blue Cat
(Post 5773300)
what's your good name Madam?
my good name is Debbie Thanks Fateema :rofl: MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Madam Medusa
(Post 5773437)
maybe it's just your accent that confuses them, lol...
MM, xx they always call me Betty at the pizza place :rofl: |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by MataHari
(Post 5771920)
must be nice though...you come once and the whole village has food
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Inselaffen
(Post 5777038)
so they all swallow then ;)
More of the same in future please. |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by The Dean
(Post 5777509)
That could just be the rudest/most disgusting post ever seen on The Bored.........
More of the same in future please. MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Madam Medusa
(Post 5777612)
oh god, don't encourage him, please...
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Inselaffen
(Post 5777802)
why not??
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Madam Medusa
(Post 5777843)
cos it is making me feel a bit nauseous...
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Inselaffen
(Post 5777851)
thats probably just the hangover from yesterday's brunch!
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Madam Medusa
(Post 5777854)
didn't go for brunch...and didn't go out either, can't you tell i'm going stir crazy here, lol...
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Madam Medusa
(Post 5777854)
didn't go for brunch...and didn't go out either, can't you tell i'm going stir crazy here, lol...
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Can we post about an event in Lebanese language???English is not a funny language...
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Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Confucius
(Post 5777856)
Yes...I can feel you're stirring inside...
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Madam Medusa
(Post 5777891)
that obvious, eh...it all started on wednesday actually...been building up since then...
MM, xx |
Re: My Strangest Conversation in Dubai Yet !!!
Originally Posted by Confucius
(Post 5777896)
I know...Extended family has that kind of effect on me too...
MM, xx |
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