I'm not on my third marriage but I'll give you a run through, first wife was a year or so older than me, second is 3.5 years younger, gf is 14 years younger....

So my fourth wife must be just getting out of nappies now

You might be wearing them by the time she comes of age..

good lad, sounds like you have a blue skin tone so stick to blue based colours

My Mum is all over this stuff too. House of COlour or something I think? Charged her hundreds of quid to tell her what colours suited her best.

A true head-scratching moment from me...but she loves that kind of shit.

yes House of Colour, I work with the lady who has the Dubai franchise, obviously we swear by it, but I do genuinely know I look good is certain colours. It doesn't cost hundreds of pounds either! 600 dhs for men, 700 dhs for women.

I have a dual-input-and-quadruple-assessment system (with optional mono-input-and-dual-assessment mode), with a residence-based verification module: the mirror in the shop, my eyes and those of my wife and our critical faculties, plus another mirror at home. Any sales assistance who says "That looks nice on you" is ignored unless she looks like Megan Fox or Dita Von Teese.

Good for you, but not everyone's critical faculties are as acute.

I've seen plenty of people who have been helped with a bit of guidance. It's just that friendly guidance, not rules. Many women hit middle-age, lose confidence in themselves and end up in a load of beige and I've seen then vibrant in both colour and demeanour after a HoC session.

Not everyone needs it, but it's a lovely confidence boost for many, a fun afternoon, and they also have some super clothes and jewellery. All optional, but there is plenty of truth in the concept.

Actually, I wouldn't mind giving it a go, although I'm highly sceptical--anyone selling the service to me would have to be immaculately turned-out. Unless she looked like Megan Fox...

That's still a lot of cash for someone to tell you that pink isn't right but milky shades of brown / beige are better. Eh?

My Mum loves all kinds of hippy shit...special rocks, angels, homeopathy...the ****ing works.

BUT, you wouldn't know it to look at her. So I'm grateful for that at least.

That is outrageous.

Sorry. Hundred quid to tell a ginger to wear green and a pasty faced sweaty to not wear yellow is nuts.

I've done it. Not because I needed it, but because I happened to be in Dubai and it was a fun thing to do.
Now, I don't swear by it. But I am very good with colours, design, clothes etc.
I can give those ladies a run for their money...and I did..a little.
BUT, there are a lot of people out there who WANT to look better, and they do not have the ability to do that by themselves.
So, those ladies come in handy...they are kind, understanding and do not tell people they look awful...even if they do. But guide them gently in the right direction. And yes, it is a fun afternoon.

Scamp I am glad your Mum enjoyed it, next time she is here she should come and see our clothing ranges, they are fabulous. I am not bothered what anyone thinks about the service or whether they think it is overpriced, we have never had ONE single complaint since the day we started. The service is worth every dirham.

it is nothing about being immaculately turned out, we have had plenty of male clients who just want to know what suits them, none of them turn into Mr Beckham I can assure you you can look good in a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt just as long as it is the right colour for your skin tone.

And of course, it's optional so anyone complaining about the price doesn't have to do it.

Would you accept the same advice for 20 quid? Would you ****.

I would like to think that giving someone advice on colours/clothes is not always about the advice but more about the confidence it instils.
You could get someone to rock a pair of velvet flares if they had enough people telling them how good they looked wearing them.

Consider it the same as the bunch of yes-men in your office telling the boss how great his latest scheme or idea is. You have to suspend the critical thinking sometimes.