littlejimmy

And I'm not sure if I should post it on here in light of recent heightened sensitivities.

I might PM it to Commander, cos he disnae give a ****...

Blue Cat

pm me too

Spugsy

If it's racist then you can **** off, it not post it.

Kate2112

Funny...not

A very lame selection of Bernard Manning stylie shite.

Well done...yawn

The Dean

Or how about a comparison - to see which one is better.......

BEER VS. VAGINA:
1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER

2. Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA

3. A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER

4. If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc.
If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you.
There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home.
Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer.
If you eat any p***y in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested.
If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA

9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers.
Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen god.
One point to VAGINA

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring.
Ripping off panties is fun.
One point to VAGINA

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off
One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.
One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc.
One point to BEER

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drank it
One point to BEER


FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

The Dean

They're nothing to do with me.......... just stuff doing the cyber-rounds.

Actually I'm just trying to 'encourage' the OP to post his joke...........

The Dean

......... although I admit the one about the Frenchman mildly amused me.

commander

I'm awaitng the pm..

littlejimmy

Ah bollox to it. Here goes. Apologies now if anyone gets upset.


Dysexic children all over the world are devestated at the news....






That Setanta has died.



And I heard my first Jacko joke about 5 minutes after hearing of his death.

Spugsy

how the **** is that offensive?

littlejimmy

Cos it's really shite...?


Dyslexic children? I dunno. Just me then.

MacScot

..sad really...they are rife in The Lounge subforum..

u know thats sad, it's sad, it's really really sad. WHO'S BAD

Spugsy

**** it then - here we go:

Mj's dying wish was for his ashes to be put in an etch-a-sketch so kids can still fiddle with his knob.

What's the difference between alex ferguson and mj? Ferguson will be playing giggs this summer

Apparently they have melted mj down and turned him into carrier bags so he is still a danger to kids

mj's dying wish was for his body to be melted down and made into toys. This way the kids can play with him for a change.

mcdonalds is to release the thriller burger. 50 year old meat between 5 year old buns.

sky news declaring mj dead, nspcc declaring a national holiday

hospital staff don't know what to do with mj's body as plastic recycle day is not until next tuesday

the reports about mj are incorrect. he is actually in the childrens ward having a stroke

littlejimmy

Bloody hell. Some quick thinkers out there.