Meow

Wonderfully patronising folks. Just because a person doesn't have children doesn't mean they have no experience of children or what it is like to look after them for extended periods. Perhaps you are making assumptions about people who don't have children, for whatever reason?

"before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes" cuts both ways...

MataHari

at the risk of sounding patronising...looking after someone elses child has no resemblance in any way shape or form to raising your own child...

The thing is, we ALL have been a person without experience of having a child at some point...so we know what that is like, and then we have the added experience of having a child.

I was the most judgemental person ever, I was sure my kids would never throw a fit in Spinneys, or cry on a plane, or wake up during the night etc etc...I thought it was all managable, it would just depend on your own attitude, being firm and consistant is key...but hey ho, being firm and consistant is the hardest thing ever and sometimes (often) you just don't have the time, the energy, the patience etc...and at those times the people without kids are so keen to offer their advice and wonderful insight of their non knowlegde. And that's just annoying, cause as we know, you truly don't have a clue.

Meow

I haven't actually said that not having your own child means you know better or that you are saying you'd do it all differently. Nor have I offered advice in this thread. Please don't twist what I said. I am saying you can still have a deep understanding and some experience. Some of us do have rather more than a clue.

As I said the assumptions go both ways...

Millhouse

I'm not being patronising, consider it more dismissive

shiva

That's that sleep deprivation kicking in

Meow

I think the word you are after is assumptive...

shiva

Isn't that a bit presumptive

Kix

The best "advice" I ever got was, "These things don't come with an instruction manual you know".

(OK, "things" might be harsh, but you get the drift - all kids behave differently).

MataHari

I never said you said any of that...(and on and on it goes, bit like arguing with my kids actually)

britexpat76

If I **** up and end up with a child its going at the opposite end of the house with a Nanny until it learns to kick a football, communicate and not vomit or defecate.

I don't give anyone with children advice as I just avoid them.

OriginalSunshine

As a mother to a SEN (special educational needs) primary child, you would not believe the "helpful advice" and condemnation that I receive if my boy has a meltdown in public. We have stopped contact with my mother in law because she believes his behavioural issues are to do with our bad parenting, rather than lack of oxygen at birth, early fusion of his skull plates, limited eye sight, and hearing loss. Yes, we as bad parents caused all of that to happen.

Even, especially, parents can be judgemental.

(although I do wish my good childless-by-choice friend would STFU with FB posts about how to improve children's behaviour... and I know it's not about us, nor anyone specific... she thinks she is being helpful by sharing "useful" articles, bless her).

Meow

How's this for parenting advice?

scrubbedexpat141

That's the shit I'm talking about. My sister's Mother in Law is a ****ing weapon.

Sidney One Kidney (my nehpew and the nickname I gave him) is a very poorly but very happy little champ. According to her however, if he is warm (in a house with the heating permanently set to nuclear) then we need to go to the hospital immediately. Death is coming! Get an Ambulance!

ARGH.