So we all like to pick up on grammatical errors...

Thought I'd start a thread that we can all post some choice examples of such clangers.

To start the ball rolling, this is a real job posting from a "professional" recruitment agency.

Italian Head Chef wanted for Italian restaurant in Dubai - ND & Associates

As the Head Chef you will be responsible for the running of the Old school italian kitchen en cuisine together with the Sous Chef you will create the menu, assemble the kitchen team of kooks.

- Able and exprienced with multiple italian regions of kooking

(http://www.bayt.com/en/job/?xid=1707184)

Kooking????? WTF is kooking?

What stupid kunt wrote that??

kooking is somefink probly dodgey what happens on the net innit. Not an apostrophe in sight.

loving the random peppering of capital letters and the subtle lack of understanding that "kitchen" and "cuisine" are one and the same, so his sentence actually reads:

you will be responsible for the running of the Old school italian kitchen in the kitchen together

wowsers.

/golfclap

... and a lack of appropriate "and" between the clauses.

Good Brightonians, The Kooks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kooks

This is a post from expat woman Dubai, it took me some time to decipher it:

Hey er1, hru all? I missed EW all dese days. Bt m back as m done w/ma pregnancy, n njoying wid ma son whoz jz 3 wks n 2 days old! I was just wondering, dat can i cum along wid ma mum to ANNUAL EVENT, which is in Oct @ burj ul arab... ? I jz wna gv her sum chillin tym, as shez really xaustd takin care of ma baby n me...!!!!
nxiously w8n 4 response! thnx

Evidently, she had been told by her doctor that she had 'Acute Angina!'

I think I need to lie down after that... *ugh*

Ether that or 'Irritable Vowel Syndrome'

More like she is one.

Sometimes I'm tempted to pack a big red permanent marker in my bag. I've lost count of the number of times I've gone past an advertisement in Dubai and seen rogue apostrophes (those either there when they shouldn't be, or are nowhere to be seen) or incorrect capitalisation.

The only thing that's stopped me correcting them is the likelihood of me going to prison. Though, if I'm honest, that's precisely where most of Dubai's signage copywriters should be.

Remember. Correct capitalisation is the difference between:

I helped Jack off a horse, and I helped jack off a horse.

Or in the case of apostrophes:

I work for a company that knows its shit, or I work for a company that knows it's shit.

I hate how the term 'old school' is used as a poor substitute for 'traditional' or simply 'old fashioned'.

N.

I grind my teeth every time I see 'avail'. Not even 'avail of' which is bad enough.