the bat

>A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party.
>He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he
>writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
>
>A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
>
>"Dear Sir,
>Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover
>your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a
>pirate."
>
>The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his
>wooden leg, so he writes a letter of complaint;
>A week passes and he received another parcel and note:
>
>"Dear Sir,
>Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
>The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will
>really look the part".
>
>The man is really furious now, because the company has gone from
>emphasising his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head.
>
>So he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a
>very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
>
>"Dear Sir,
>Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup
>over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a
>f***ing toffee apple"
>