Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Q. Two Dundonians jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a Dundee girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old Dundee girl?
A. Granny.

Q. Why did the Dundee girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

Q. What do you call a Dundee girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a Dundee quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

Q. Two Dundee kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.

Q. What's the difference between a Dundee boy and an Dundee girl?
A. A Dundee girl has a higher sperm count.

Q. What's the most confusing day in Dundee ?
A. Fathers day

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

well...that was fun

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

It wasnt meant to be funny, if you have ever been to dundee (which i seriously doubt), you will know that the above are actually reflections of Dundeh women.

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

it was the word 'jokes' in the thread title that confused me...

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Fair point!

not all jokes are meant to be funny though.....

I would tell more, but id get banned and be accused of being a racist...

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

how can a ginger be racist...you of all people must know what it is like to be discriminated against...

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

yea but i dont ride on the easily offended bus like some (lionheart)

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

admin,

please ban MH for this racist slur.

I am deeply offended.

Its auburn sunset, not ginger

My lawyers will be in touch

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

it's being called a cloggie that made me see red...

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Do the above jokes hold true of the students at university in Dundee? :)

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

even more so for Abertay students..

why you ask?

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

I have friends who went there. A couple of them are helping out the financially strapped Dundee football team.

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

by eating thier pies?

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Google my signature.

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

having spent a great deal of time in dundee (against my will) i can categorically state that these are not racial or cultural slurs but the absolute truth

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

chocolate is my favourite

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Ah reminds me of the inimitable...

A Dundee fan and his wife hand a £50 note to the turnstile operator at Dens Park and say, 'Two please'. The man man replies: 'Thank you. Now, would you like a goalie and a striker or two midfielders?'."

:rofl::rofl:

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Being an Aberdonian, the only reason I would even drive through Dundee is as a toilet stop on the way to Glasgow!!!! If I went before I left, its the Scone road from Forfar and down thru Perth.......

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

unfortunately i had to work there whilst living in aberdeen, funnily enough that was the job i quit to come back here.......maybe i should thank dundee????

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Ha, I did it the other way about. Lived in Aberdeen and commuted to Dundee. On several occasions they asked me to move down, to which I would promptly offer my resignation.....

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Used to play in the Dundee league from U10-U18's.

Had golf clubs taken to me in Fintry
Had our car's tyres punctured in Douglas
Dodged needles in the Hilltoon.

Aye its a dump.

Wonder why i recently bought a riverside apartment there

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

And the f'ckin excuses for night clubs they had....

Coconut Grove, Fat Sam's etc... I have never seen so much upper lip facial hair in one place, and it wasn't just the guys......

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

oh aye the famous Dundee 'tash'

frightning..

The Mardi Gras is still on the go..

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Two in every one people in Dundee are schizophrenic. !;)

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Dundee 4X Cup-holder:

Dundee Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Dundee Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Dundee Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Dundee Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it any longer. The Dundee caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

C'mon - nobody with any credibility whatsoever ever went to the coconut grove!

Anybody remember The Sands before it became Buddies? (Hate to think what it is now!)

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Your now talking about dd5, broughty ferry. This is not dundee.

Buddies is now a restaurant type thing.

Broughty ferry is a lovely place to be fair.

All the dundeh minks dream of having a DD5 postcode.

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Thanks - understand that.

For info, douglas also comes under DD5 (or it did at one time)!

Oh for a wallace's bridie!:D

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Wallaces, tut tut. Gota be a mclarens bridie from forfar

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Still mind the stooshie when someone wanted to open a strip club in 'the Ferry'.......

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Clever but unwelcome new trend.............

.......... a thread that only a very few Bored members can contribute to........

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

Just because you arent as well travelled as some of us......

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

You mean because I've never been to Dundee??

I admit it - you're right............

Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
 

See, now that wasnt so hard was it.....