What was the final straw for you?
 

At what point did you walk into the travel agent and book your ticket? Was it a well thought out plan, or a spur of the moment decision. Have you regretted it?

I have really come to a cross-roads now, where I am seriously thinking about doing it. For me, the main one is jobs, culture and family.

Im in NZ at the moment and wondering whether to go to OZ, the UK or remain in NZ.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

When I lived in Oz, I just got to a point where I thought no matter how I tried I couldn't make a go of it and I (at that time) had things to go back to - for one thing we had a house in the UK then.
I just remember blanking out feelings and getting the dog and me on that plane. I think it was just the feeling that I wasn't ever going to be myself again and I was so very homesick. I could hardly pass a travel agents without temptation. I woke up every day with the word 'NO' screaming inside my head. I walked around in this beautiful place and it was like it was a backdrop to a life that I just walked through and took no part in.

A good friend of mine who was in her 60's hated it there too (I was in my late 30's) and I kept on thinking I didn't want to end up like her! I felt I wasn't being true to who I was by staying and yet I wanted it to work so much - my OH loved it in Oz.
I fully understood (still do) it's me and some people can't do emigration.
Well a few years later I'm in NZ. I cope with it. Don't love it; don't hate it. Cost of living, healthcare and colder weather are things i struggle with here on a practical basis. Emotionally I'm indifferent I suppose. If my OH left me or died woudl I stay here? No.

Marriage is now very dodgy and the other night after the same old arguments that almost made me think of all things I'd left behind and should I go back. What stopped me? My dog and the fact that I've nowhere to live, little money. I've never been quite the same since I moved overseas - making decisions is one of the things that have suffered....
Hope you feel better soon Bud.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

The thought of yet another Christmas without family and never having family watch ballet shows etc

the cost of living, cold houses and lack of social life just make it seem worse.

Good luck on your decision. Mine took 3 years to make ;)

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

When I checked my bank balance !!!!!!!!!!!!! :scared:

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Ditto

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Having my son. I realised there would be a point (if he grew up here in the US) where we would take a trip home to England and it would be my home and not his. I imagine trying to explain things to him and the love for England and him staring blankly at me and saying "but it's all so small and crowded!"

would break my heart I think, but then your kids are the masters of logic and as a teenager he would probably say "well if England's so great why don't you live there?" hum, good question! :D

Plus all the usual reasons seen here before (family,humour, culture) My mind started to turn towards moving back in November 2004 (wonder why) and I don't think it's a radical one moment but a gradual process of looking into things and switching back and forth- that's where expats can help. Good luck!

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

I have lived the final straw for four years......I am very tired.

I have never told hubby how I really feel I could not stand the discussions
I have never told the kids why give them facts about my depressions!
I live well here in Aus ...so why should I have problems?
Shut up and put up is what I have been taught.

I have lived the final straw for four years......I am very tired.

I plan my escape...and I hope I have the courage to ask my family to come with me :confused:

BUT...possibly I will stay here...forever or for now because I have not the courage to say I will not die here.

Cheers

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

I understand I too am really tired and planning my escape.It really isn't Australias fault though. :(

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

We had thought about leaving for a long time. I was not happy from day one in Australia. I made a go of it (stayed for four years). We struggled financially, had a lot of bad luck (people breaking into our car numerous times, stealing things of us etc.), which made it all seem even worse. I did not make any real friends (except for immigrants). When I had my baby that was it. I thought, I dont want my baby to have a miserable Mum and I could not see my baby ever growing up to be a 100% Australian child... It just didn't seem "right". Not sure why. I never contemplated going back to my home country though as that would have been too much of a struggle and somehow a step back. We went to Dubai instead and are exceptionally happy here. Did not have many expectations, when we came, but the people here are so friendly, I can really connect with them, I am so much closer to home, still have the sea and sun and it is just 6 hours on a plane with my little one to visit friends back home. It's great. I never once regretted moving. Life is too short to feel miserable.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

jesus, you sound like me....

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Good Sunday Morning!

Interesting possibly to you but in a similar way my frail elderly in laws ( they were in their late 80s) lived near Croydon and drove over to our neck of Surrey to visit us once a month. Mum in law kept falling over and dad in law was still driving if going a bit blind. One day on one of their Sunday visits I simply said why don't they move nearer us so we can keep an eye on them. Silence etc.

A couple of hours later they were back home in Croydon and the phone rang.It was dad in law telling us that they had discussed it and both had been thinking exactly that for a long time but hadn't had the inclination to chat to the other about it in case the other was upset!

They did move round the corner from us. I had to deal privately with dad in law over occasional trips back to see his very long standing lady "friend" but they lived out the remainder of their lives perfectly happily with frequent visits from wife and I to make sure they were ok.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

I've lived it for very nearly three, and I know exactly how you feel.Having just read on here that yet another mate, that arrived at around the same time as me, is not only going home but has split from her husband, it just makes me feel so sad. We all come here with high hopes, and some lucky souls turn their dreams into reality, but the rest of us.....well, I just feel tired and crushed.

Do you sometimes feel that you already have?

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

when i realised i was crying every day i went straight to travel agent and booked flights home and immediately felt better. however i really must confess that i was in the early stages of pregnancy and my hormones were crazy mothers. that said, my heart is here in torquay for sure and this is where im staying. also, our eldest daughter was stressed so badly that she was itching her arms red raw that really did do it for me. enough is enough and back we came :D

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

my heart goes out to you mate :)

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Hi
Sorry I dont know you but what a heart felt post please have the courage to at least let hubby know what your thinking we only have one life and youve got to be happy who knows hubby may be feeling the same way at least if you let him know he'll be in the picture best of luck with whatever you decide :)

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Final straw for me was that after doing a 40hr week we were still struggling with finances and again thought wether to cut out the broadband or cable. dont get me wrong but we dont go ou, no holidays, no family a crashed up car worth 300 dols now we looking to cut back further, I am tradesman for christ sake and meant to be in demand here. we came for a better life and frankly its a nitemare. too tired to fight on

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

At the moment, I'm not at the final straw stage. I started taking St Johns Wort the other week and that's masking a lot of the feelings, and hopefully giving me some motivation to try and do the things that other people tell me I should do: make new friends, try new hobbies, get out and enjoy the big open spaces more, integrate myself into the Australian culture, stop calling England home, start thinking Australia's the best thing since sliced bread.

Can't help thinking that I'll still think Australia isn't for me, but at least I don't cry all the time about it.

OH is talking about the possibility of us moving to Hong Kong (with his job) so there is light at the end of this long, miserable tunnel.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

The pull of home is mainly people for me. Though I have never really settled here i've got out there and made friends seen a bit of the place, changed jobs to try and find reasonable hours and conditions (unsuccessfully), none of it has made any difference to the way i feel and that empty unconnected feeling. Intellectualy there have been times when i think things are better here for my daughter but emotionally i dont believe anything here can compensate for the sense of belonging she can only get from family and lifelong friends.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

My 9yr old son wont show himself on my webcam when his nan or cousins are online, I thought it was because he felt silly being on a cam, turns out he cant face seeing them as his stiff upper lip could quivver and he would get upset in front of me and them. Also his cousins were taken for a long weekend in eurodisney, simple things like that he missing out on with family. Only live once and gotta be happy and for us thats the uk. glad we can say we lived in Oz glad we have the choice and sense to go home

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Had a bit of a final straw moment this weekend when my US taxi driver asked if it had taken me long to learn the language. :scared:

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

OMG that's scary.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

I know- had to say not long at all.
to which his reply was- what language do you speak in england?
I wasn't v. nice I'm afraid- sarcastically said, "what language do you think we speak in ENGland? ENGlish!!"
He looked miffed.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

So this guy wasn't the sharpest knife in the draw.I hope everyone isn't like that!

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of course not but with all due respect I can see the most chavy, uneducated Brit would maybe ask an American a stupid question like," did you ever see anyone get shot?" but I can't see them being as clueless as to ask an American what language they spoke!

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Have you been to Hong Kong? Its a dump.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

god, thats heartbreaking! If we go home I'm glad I will be able to stand up and say we tried that in years to come we won't have any "what ifs"

We came to Canada for a better upbringing for our child but what kind of upbringing will it be without having grandparents to spoil you and cousins to play with.....its been really hard for me taking her away from her nan's and grandad...only time will tell I guess.

Jo x

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Yes, have been to Hong Kong. But thanks anyway for the positive comment.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

[QUOTE=Hayley]of course not but with all due respect I can see the most chavy, uneducated Brit would maybe ask an American a stupid question like," did you ever see anyone get shot?" but I can't see them being as clueless as to ask an American what language they spoke![/QUOTe Yes I don't think a chav would have been that clueless.Chavs are really one of a kind.They were one of the things I didn't like about Britain.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Hi Rooksie I have just been browsing through the posts and I think I may have missed something ! Duh! on my part.
Very interesting to see you are back home.
As I can recall you left almost the same time as me.You left before me I think. I was the one who was stressing over the house sale on hindsite it was an omen not to go.Should have followed my intuition but you know what its like.Got to try it as you will always be thinking what if.,etc.
Now don't get me wrong I also noticed that you were in Caloundra we went there a few weeks ago and I have to say I was not impressed at all.
I think you just know that its not right some know straight away others take considerably longer.
Where I am is beautiful it really is but I have made my mind up and we too are coming home.
I wish I had never sold my home but I did.
At the end of the day it has been a real eye opener and I have learnt an awful lot about myself.
Just hope I do not regret it when we move back I think that could be awful.
Anyway glad to hear that you are settled now and have a little one.
I have realised that the village I used to live in has everything I want for my children and know that we can make a go of it.Makes you realise that the UK is not all bad and that's probably why there are so many people living there.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Well I thought if you were depressed in Sydney, you might even be moreso in Hong Kong and more isolated. I was surprised how many people didn't speak English, thinking there may have been more since it had been under the British for a while. I can still remember trying to do charades for buying a packet of laxatives. :o:D I preferred Singapore, or maybe Dubai?

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

[QUOTE=Dreamaway 10]Hi Rooksie I have just been browsing through the posts and I think I may have missed something ! Duh! on my part.
Very interesting to see you are back home.
As I can recall you left almost the same time as me.You left before me I think. I was the one who was stressing over the house sale on hindsite it was an omen not to go.Should have followed my intuition but you know what its like.Got to try it as you will always be thinking what if.,etc.
Now don't get me wrong I also noticed that you were in Caloundra we went there a few weeks ago and I have to say I was not impressed at all.
I think you just know that its not right some know straight away others take considerably longer.
Where I am is beautiful it really is but I have made my mind up and we too are coming home.
I wish I had never sold my home but I did.
At the end of the day it has been a real eye opener and I have learnt an awful lot about myself.
Just hope I do not regret it when we move back I think that could be awful.
Anyway glad to hear that you are settled now and have a little one.
I have realised that the village I used to live in has everything I want for my children and know that we can make a go of it.Makes you realise that the UK is not all bad and that's probably why there are so many people living there.[/QUOTEI too wish I had never sold my home in the Uk.We had trouble with the sale someone trying to tell us something but didn't listen.I wish I could turn back the clock but can't.I lived in a village and the one thing that has struck me is how soul less this place is.Just going into the village you would see someone for a chat.All the elderly people out in the village and the community of the place.I see them sitting on their verandahs here and the woman across the road must be 75 she some times sees no one to talk to.I have to wait a couple of years before I can get back to live but I am off in January to a wedding can't wait.

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

by the seaside and your point is?

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

more community not so boring???????????????????

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

:confused:

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

We're the same - promises of $$$$$s for trades men?? It must be a big fat ploy to get all the tradies out here. Skills shortage??? What flaming skills shortage?? There are tonnes of em all out here. All working like dogs for peanuts. I'm not sure about other industries but I work for a trade association and have been told that there are no more 4year apprenticeships for plasterers in Australia - most training will be on the job and it will take as long as it takes so a guy could be qualified in six months. Remember NVQs?

Australia's answer to the skills shortage = send a message to the rest of the world that there are mega bucks to be made so all the tradies will flock in and then we can bin off training people properly ourselves.

My husband is a brickie and we used to have several holidays a year, money in the bank to buy whatever we wanted and we went out all the time. Now we are stuck in all the time, cant pay the bills, cant go out and cant even afford a weekend away, let alone a proper holiday. I even scour Bi-Lo for the cheapest brands of everything!! Can't wait to get back home and start living again! Living here is like going back to the 80s recession days for us.

The weather's nice though :D

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

so am I :confused:

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Hi!! only just seen this - it almost missed me. i dont regret for a minute coming home, our children are back at school with their friends and the eldest in particular is getting on great - she REALLY HATED australia and it affected her quite badly. its horrible seeing your kids like that. i know people say they adapt but it would have just been plain cruel to make her stay and i wasnt prepared to do it. we came home and are expecting our third daughter in a few weeks - Happy Days!

sorry youre not getting on well either. we also sold our house - all part of lifes rich tapestry eh! :rolleyes:

i love torquay - its got everything i want so why did we move - d'uh!!!! :o

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Dreamaway 10, I sympathise with your position entirely. Reading your post brings back to life all my experiences of living in Australia for 12 months. My friends all tried to talk me out of it, some I even alienated because I thought they were jealous. My neighbours were also good friends and I dismissed them as interfering and didn’t speak to them very much when we left the UK.

We returned back to the UK in 2005, back to the same village, even the same street but due to a lack of cash we could only buy a much smaller property. The kids had to go to a different school as their places had been filled. At the end of the day though this doesn’t matter to me, I am much happier now and even won back the friends I managed to alienate. At the end of the day friends and family (even if slightly difficult at times) count for a lot!

In OZ my partner bought into a small computer business that cost us £40,000. This entailed supplying PC’s to home and small businesses, it was never successful like in the UK and we believe this was in part due to the anti British reception we had to endure.

When I add the cost up of what we lost it amounted to £60000. This includes the hit we took on the business and the cost of getting to and retuning from OZ. Also we dropped our house price by £15000 in the UK for a quick sale. It was a shock getting back on the housing ladder in 2005!

Well you learn by your mistakes? I don’t think much of OZ nowadays. Still a good holiday destination though but then again I love a good Spanish holiday. How funny, I couldn’t stop talking about OZ 2 years ago to friends, god I must have sounded boring!

Anyway pack your bags Dreamaway 10 and come back HOME you are making the right decision. Send ALL your friends (good or bad) a post card informing them you will be back soon, tell them you have lived the dream and should have listened to them all, you will be surprised how everyone will rally round you…. Kids & I love being back with our friends and family, can’t wait for another good old fashioned British Christmas and those winter frosts, followed by the summer heat wave that reminds me of OZ.

All the best

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Brilliant post. It's so good to hear how, after your bad experiences you have come through it all and are now so happy again . We will most likely be returning after only 12 months here as we just can't justify staying longer (financial reasons). Its reassuring to know that you can go back and settle into life again quite quickly - we are really worried that we will miss our life here, it's such a huge upheaval again and one I'm really worried about. It's certainly been an experience coming out here and we've seen some lovely places and met some great people but it's been a very costly adventure. Good luck and well done!

Re: What was the final straw for you?
 

Thankyou so much!!!
I have sent you a pm.