The rose tinted glasses are off.

Old Jul 15th 2020, 1:05 am
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Default The rose tinted glasses are off.

You know the ones? The glasses that make everything look so much nicer than they are? Well, I've been 27 months back and the glasses are off. Yeah. England is nice. It's where I was born. Its familiar...sort of. Its home ..sort of.
But, it is Little England. A world of net curtain twitchers who firmly believe that your business is their business. I will judge you because I'm British and for no other reason except that I'm superior...simply by being British and preferably white. Hypocrisy is rife. Racism is endemic and nosey parkering? Dear God...let's not go there.
The public drunkenness, drug use and lack of self respect and respect of others beggars belief. Ignorance is seen as a badge of honour, not a state that needs remedying for a brighter future
I despair of a future for Britain cut off from Europe by Brexit and from the rest of the world by C19.
The general feeling just seems to be " wtf, let's just get drunk, smoke a spliff and forget about it all."
Oh Britain! How I loved thee! But not anymore.

Nevertheless, I'm here, part time. My partner is trying to decide whether she would like to come over permanently. Is there a forum of support for US born citizens wanting to live in the UK? Is like to think there's a forum like this for her if and when the time comes.
I wish I was in a more positive frame of mind but after over 2 years I see the grimy underside of life here and it's hard to forget when you see it day in, day out.
Go back to living permanently in the US? No can do. The USA has it's own special brand of ****edupness which precludes me thinking it's an option.
Britain may be royally screwed up but its MY royally screwed up home. I'm in it, but I'm not of it.
Anyone else share even a smidgeon of my disappointment in coming home after decades in the US?
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 9:25 am
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

I don't recognise the country I live in at all from what you've said. Sounds like you're living in a a pretty crappy area tbh, is a move within the UK an option at all?

Last edited by christmasoompa; Jul 22nd 2020 at 10:18 am.
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 11:34 am
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by Jensmate
You know the ones? The glasses that make everything look so much nicer than they are? Well, I've been 27 months back and the glasses are off. Yeah. England is nice. It's where I was born. Its familiar...sort of. Its home ..sort of.
But, it is Little England. A world of net curtain twitchers who firmly believe that your business is their business. I will judge you because I'm British and for no other reason except that I'm superior...simply by being British and preferably white. Hypocrisy is rife. Racism is endemic and nosey parkering? Dear God...let's not go there.
The public drunkenness, drug use and lack of self respect and respect of others beggars belief. Ignorance is seen as a badge of honour, not a state that needs remedying for a brighter future
I despair of a future for Britain cut off from Europe by Brexit and from the rest of the world by C19.
The general feeling just seems to be " wtf, let's just get drunk, smoke a spliff and forget about it all."
Oh Britain! How I loved thee! But not anymore.

Nevertheless, I'm here, part time. My partner is trying to decide whether she would like to come over permanently. Is there a forum of support for US born citizens wanting to live in the UK? Is like to think there's a forum like this for her if and when the time comes.
I wish I was in a more positive frame of mind but after over 2 years I see the grimy underside of life here and it's hard to forget when you see it day in, day out.
Go back to living permanently in the US? No can do. The USA has it's own special brand of ****edupness which precludes me thinking it's an option.
Britain may be royally screwed up but its MY royally screwed up home. I'm in it, but I'm not of it.
Anyone else share even a smidgeon of my disappointment in coming home after decades in the US?

UK Yankee is a forum for US people living in the UK - https://talk.uk-yankee.com/
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 12:14 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Folkestone, Kent. Moving is not an option.
Folkestone is a shell of a town. It has its grimier side which has expanded since the High Street is no longer a high Street, just a collection of little shops barely clinging on to existence. Brexit and Covid combined has essentially destroyed any possibility of an upswing in its economy. Covid has made a suspicious race even more so. Don't even get me started on the incompetence of the UK utility companies!
Dont forget that I'm looking at the UK thru a lens that was ground in the USA for 4 decades. I'm currently in the USA having flown back 3 weeks ago. Frankly it's a relief to be back for a breather.
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 12:25 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by Jensmate
Folkestone, Kent. Moving is not an option.
Folkestone is a shell of a town. It has its grimier side which has expanded since the High Street is no longer a high Street, just a collection of little shops barely clinging on to existence. Brexit and Covid combined has essentially destroyed any possibility of an upswing in its economy. Covid has made a suspicious race even more so. Don't even get me started on the incompetence of the UK utility companies!
Dont forget that I'm looking at the UK thru a lens that was ground in the USA for 4 decades. I'm currently in the USA having flown back 3 weeks ago. Frankly it's a relief to be back for a breather.
Ah, yes Folkestone isn't great. Still, could be worse, you could be in Dover.

Shame you can't just move to another area, you're really not seeing the country at it's best.
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 12:31 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by Jensmate
Folkestone, Kent. Moving is not an option.
Folkestone is a shell of a town. It has its grimier side which has expanded since the High Street is no longer a high Street, just a collection of little shops barely clinging on to existence. Brexit and Covid combined has essentially destroyed any possibility of an upswing in its economy. Covid has made a suspicious race even more so. Don't even get me started on the incompetence of the UK utility companies!
Dont forget that I'm looking at the UK thru a lens that was ground in the USA for 4 decades. I'm currently in the USA having flown back 3 weeks ago. Frankly it's a relief to be back for a breather.
Well that explains it. Folkestone was already depressing many years ago and was like a mini version of Detroit when I was there the last time (2011). Dover, Ramsgate all have the same feel. It's nicer near Canterbury but it starts to decline near Maidstone again and I can't imagine how bad it is after Covid. Once you get away from those towns, it's like being in a different country, so maybe you just picked the wrong part of the country?
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 6:29 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Sad to hear about your change of heart regarding the UK.
Hubby and I have been in CA for 21 years now and have began to think about maybe moving back?
Another OP asked what you remember about the UK which would give you doubt about returning.
I came up with the litter, flytipping, weather, drinking culture, yobs, busy congested roads, welfare culture, innumerable taxes.
On a more positive note I also remembered beautiful countryside, National Trust areas, good pub food, cafe culture, access to Europe, historic and interesting cities, good shopping, unspoilt coastal hiking, friendly people.
Obviously it all depends on where you live.
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 6:54 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

I suspect that Jensmate's observations are in large part a symptom of aging - the older you get, the more obvious it becomes that 50%+ of humanity is obnoxious and antisocial, in many different ways, and the less tolerant you are of that fact.
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Old Jul 22nd 2020, 7:25 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by Pulaski
I suspect that Jensmate's observations are in large part a symptom of aging - the older you get, the more obvious it becomes that 50%+ of humanity is obnoxious and antisocial, in many different ways, and the less tolerant you are of that fact.
Golly, and there was I thinking I was the only 'aging' curmudgeon around.

True though, the older you get the less tolerant ...... hence If I move back to UK I'll be looking for that perfect spot !
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Old Jul 24th 2020, 6:19 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by Jensmate
Folkestone, Kent. Moving is not an option.
Folkestone is a shell of a town. It has its grimier side which has expanded since the High Street is no longer a high Street, just a collection of little shops barely clinging on to existence. Brexit and Covid combined has essentially destroyed any possibility of an upswing in its economy. Covid has made a suspicious race even more so. Don't even get me started on the incompetence of the UK utility companies!
Dont forget that I'm looking at the UK thru a lens that was ground in the USA for 4 decades. I'm currently in the USA having flown back 3 weeks ago. Frankly it's a relief to be back for a breather.

Can you move even a little bit? That is, just a few miles and at least get out in the country? Or can you plan a move in a year or two?

What you are talking about just sounds like poverty, very much like the bit of Portsmouth my son is currently living in while at Uni. But of course, among all that there are still lots of normal, decent people. It just isn't very picturesque and there are definitely hard times which take their toll.
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Old Jul 24th 2020, 7:59 pm
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Nosey parkering is on the rise in Italy too. There are lots of people with nothing better to do. A by product of Covid19.
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Old Jul 25th 2020, 11:01 am
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

I was born in Portsmouth during the last world war.Our home was bombed & I was evacuated up to Lancashire.My Dad was a constructor after the war ended so lots of it had at least a"makeover".I joined the Forces at 18years & have never lived there since.But I have gone back often as my relatives still are resident there.I can agree with Lion who says there are some grim parts of that city which to me resemble some of the Soviet era blocks in Warsaw,Poland.I've seen the slums of Naples & often visited friends in bad areas of Glasgow so am sure there are good & bad aspects of just about everywhere.So much depends on how the citizens react to their surroundings.In Warsaw the awful concrete blocks are festooned with hanging baskets of flowers,in parts of Glasgow every available surface seems to be filled with spray painted slogans,except for the Church! Perhaps because I live abroad,when I visit my home town I find it dirty & grimy mostly due to the people who discard everything they don't want from their constant habit of forever eating on the move.It is the same in Benidorm or Torremolinos which the British favour in Spain,but at least there the cleaning process is more regular I think.As for Nosey Parkers,1st.place must be for Spanish ladies of my generation.I warn you in advance from experience over 36 years.Never let them get a foot inside your door.I seriously believe that most should have been fitted with a silencer at birth.
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Old Jul 25th 2020, 11:18 am
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by philat98
Nosey parkering is on the rise in Italy too. There are lots of people with nothing better to do. A by product of Covid19.
I quite like a bit of nosey parkering, and wish there was more of it in Australia. Nosey parkers/curtain twitchers know when someone's hanging around your house who doesn't belong there, they're a great security system
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Old Jul 25th 2020, 11:26 am
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by Lion in Winter
Can you move even a little bit? That is, just a few miles and at least get out in the country? Or can you plan a move in a year or two?

What you are talking about just sounds like poverty, very much like the bit of Portsmouth my son is currently living in while at Uni. But of course, among all that there are still lots of normal, decent people. It just isn't very picturesque and there are definitely hard times which take their toll.
That's a great post Lion, probably because I agree with it

But what you say about poverty, and decent people, is very true. After we'd sold our house in the UK more quickly than we'd expected, we had to get an Airbnb for the last few weeks. It was in one of the 'less salubrious' areas of Liverpool but while scouse was a bit reluctant, I had no problems booking it. Turned out to be one of the best places we've stayed in around the world. After a couple of days the neighbours knew we 'belonged' there and I had many great chats with people up and down the street. Also got used to being startled out of my wits when the old bloke next door would see me before I saw him, and boom out 'Alright girl?'.
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Old Jul 25th 2020, 11:51 am
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Default Re: The rose tinted glasses are off.

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
I quite like a bit of nosey parkering, and wish there was more of it in Australia. Nosey parkers/curtain twitchers know when someone's hanging around your house who doesn't belong there, they're a great security system
I said the same thing to my partner and she said if criminals arrive they are certain to see nothing.
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