British Expats

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-   -   Perception vs Reality (https://britishexpats.com/forum/rovers-return-111/perception-vs-reality-802466/)

Harvester523 Jul 19th 2013 11:39 pm

Re: Perception vs Reality
 
This thread was about perception vs reality, and that sums it up. Nevermind perception, everyone's reality is different, coloured by the experiences they have. My OH came back from Oz to the UK and hated it - couldn't get a job, couldn't open a bank account, given the runaround by the jobless centre, then got a horrible, very stressful and underpaid job at a school (in IT). The school is in a small market town, but some of the kids and their parents were the very dregs of society, drug problems, threats. I can't imagine that anyone going through the same would think "what a great place to live".
So, that may just be an isolated pocket, but if you have to live in that pocket, your experience of England will be very different to someone else's.

Bud the Wiser Jul 19th 2013 11:40 pm

Re: Perception vs Reality
 
:goodpost:

chris955 Jul 20th 2013 3:34 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by Zen10 (Post 10809710)
There is a natural tendency for people to defend their chosen location. Rarely this is done with total objectivity of the mind, but more often it is done with the involuntary prejudice of the heart. I am as guilty of this as anyone else, but I am now lucky for the reason that I have lived in Australia long enough to see its faults and flaws as well as I know Britain's, and this helps me to be more objective.

In my heart, I want to return to the UK, to be with family, and in fact it is my intention, but I;m not going to lie to myself about its negative points in the process any more than I gloss over Australia's many problems.

Quite right, lying to yourself achieves nothing other than kidding yourself. For US moving here has been a huge success but of course for others it want be, the same for those people who leave here to try somewhere else.

Zen10 Jul 20th 2013 8:28 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by chris955 (Post 10810013)
Quite right, lying to yourself achieves nothing other than kidding yourself. For US moving here has been a huge success but of course for others it want be, the same for those people who leave here to try somewhere else.

I agree with this, but my point with you is that more than one variable changed when you moved, making objective judgement impossible. When I moved between Britain and Australia, the only thing that changed was the location, all other factors remained the same - work, money, size and style of accommodation, commuting. When you moved from Australia to Britain you gave up your notorious commute in Brisbane and started to work from home. I do not see how you can compare these two lifestyles. It's a fair point, Chris.

chris955 Jul 21st 2013 7:32 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by Zen10 (Post 10810293)
I agree with this, but my point with you is that more than one variable changed when you moved, making objective judgement impossible. When I moved between Britain and Australia, the only thing that changed was the location, all other factors remained the same - work, money, size and style of accommodation, commuting. When you moved from Australia to Britain you gave up your notorious commute in Brisbane and started to work from home. I do not see how you can compare these two lifestyles. It's a fair point, Chris.

I stopped doing the notorious commute in 2001 shortly after our kids were born and worked from home until 2012 when we moved here so comparison is easy and valid.

Zen10 Jul 21st 2013 10:50 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by chris955 (Post 10811674)
I stopped doing the notorious commute in 2001 shortly after our kids were born and worked from home until 2012 when we moved here so comparison is easy and valid.

That's fair enough then, but where your comparison become nonsense again is that you are comparing Brisbane with Herefordshire. This is like comparing a commute in and out of Birmingham with life in rural Tasmania, or city life with country life, city prices with country prices, city crime with country crime. We must stick to like-for-like if we are to going to retain any objectivity in this debate.

chris955 Jul 21st 2013 5:25 pm

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by Zen10 (Post 10811843)
That's fair enough then, but where your comparison become nonsense again is that you are comparing Brisbane with Herefordshire. This is like comparing a commute in and out of Birmingham with life in rural Tasmania, or city life with country life, city prices with country prices, city crime with country crime. We must stick to like-for-like if we are to going to retain any objectivity in this debate.

Im not comparing anything, I have commented on my situation then and now and it isnt nonsense just because you dont agree.

Zen10 Jul 21st 2013 6:05 pm

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by chris955 (Post 10812068)
Im not comparing anything, I have commented on my situation then and now and it isnt nonsense just because you dont agree.

I think we'll leave it with David Hume, Chris.

"Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them."

TheEmperorIsNaked Jul 22nd 2013 2:22 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by Zen10 (Post 10811843)
That's fair enough then, but where your comparison become nonsense again is that you are comparing Brisbane with Herefordshire. This is like comparing a commute in and out of Birmingham with life in rural Tasmania, or city life with country life, city prices with country prices, city crime with country crime. We must stick to like-for-like if we are to going to retain any objectivity in this debate.

Why do you do this Zen? I was going to respond to you on another thread about the same thing.

I can't shake the feeling that you are in what I call the third category.

There are those of us who staunchly defend their chosen migrant country (I'm talking specifically the Australia v UK dance here), and denigrate the UK and those wanting/going to return.

There are those who will parade the virtues of the UK and are less than flattering about Australia and those who incessantly defend it.

Then there is you. You purport to be balanced in your view, but in fact you take-albeit very subtle-potshots at the UK-and those who prefer to be there. I said the third category: you seem to be doing this to justify your decision to stay in Australia-even though your heart is in the UK.

You kind of want it to be not so good, so that your decision to stay in Australia is the right one.
In doing that you can smoothly patronize others that don't have your view.
I say smoothly because you come across as an intelligent person.

Everyone has a different view rather than a wrong one, surely?

Pollyana Jul 22nd 2013 3:29 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by Zen10 (Post 10811843)
................


Originally Posted by chris955 (Post 10812068)
...................

Cut it out the pair of you, enough threads closed already because of the Aus/UK sparring :rolleyes:

dunroving Jul 22nd 2013 4:10 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 10812972)
Cut it out the pair of you, enough threads closed already because of the Aus/UK sparring :rolleyes:

Aw, be fair, you know we have taken what little self-respect the Ozzies had for themselves, following all these sporting defeats, I think you really should cut them some slack. :D

chris955 Jul 22nd 2013 5:46 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by TheEmperorIsNaked (Post 10812868)
Why do you do this Zen? I was going to respond to you on another thread about the same thing.

I can't shake the feeling that you are in what I call the third category.

There are those of us who staunchly defend their chosen migrant country (I'm talking specifically the Australia v UK dance here), and denigrate the UK and those wanting/going to return.

There are those who will parade the virtues of the UK and are less than flattering about Australia and those who incessantly defend it.

Then there is you. You purport to be balanced in your view, but in fact you take-albeit very subtle-potshots at the UK-and those who prefer to be there. I said the third category: you seem to be doing this to justify your decision to stay in Australia-even though your heart is in the UK.

You kind of want it to be not so good, so that your decision to stay in Australia is the right one.
In doing that you can smoothly patronize others that don't have your view.
I say smoothly because you come across as an intelligent person.

Everyone has a different view rather than a wrong one, surely?

Again a very good post, spot on. No country is perfect or even close to it and I could live in either Australia or England but I choose to live here as it offers us so much more. I never criticise anyone for wanting to go to Australia and as long as they have the right reasons for doing it I usually encourage the move.

Caruthers Jul 22nd 2013 5:54 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 
Really simple answer to all this. Home is where the heart is. For most people that is other people, family and where you can all do the best you can. The geography is irrelevant. Places are just places.

No one size fits all.

Zen10 Jul 22nd 2013 6:17 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by TheEmperorIsNaked (Post 10812868)
Then there is you. You purport to be balanced in your view, but in fact you take-albeit very subtle-potshots at the UK-and those who prefer to be there. I said the third category: you seem to be doing this to justify your decision to stay in Australia-even though your heart is in the UK.

I have no need to justify my stay in Australia. I look only at facts. I would prefer to be with family, overall, but I must balance this with the undeniable fact that life in Australia is materially superior for me and indeed most people. There will always be people who can go back cashed-up and not have to work, or run successful businesses, who can live in large isolated properties. But back in the real world, where I would be, with the majority of people, a return would mean normal living conditions - working, neighbours, commuting. Along with other facts like superior childcare, Australia offers an easier, more comfortable place to raise kids than Britain. This is the agony of choice.

chris955 Jul 22nd 2013 6:26 am

Re: Perception vs Reality
 

Originally Posted by Zen10 (Post 10813278)
I have no need to justify my stay in Australia. I look only at facts. I would prefer to be with family, overall, but I must balance this with the undeniable fact that life in Australia is materially superior for me and indeed most people. There will always be people who can go back cashed-up and not have to work, or run successful businesses, who can live in large isolated properties. But back in the real world, where I would be, with the majority of people, a return would mean normal living conditions - working, neighbours, commuting. Along with other facts like superior childcare, Australia offers an easier, more comfortable place to raise kids than Britain. This is the agony of choice.

The trouble is you say you only look at facts then you make assumptions and personal opinions dressed as facts. The undeniable fact that Australia is materially better for most people ?? Australia offers an easier, more comfortable place to raise kids than Britain ?? Not facts, your opinions.


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