OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Jul 6th 2011, 11:26 pm
#7906
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Jul 7th 2011, 2:46 am
#7907
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,610
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Goodheavens what a lot of posts to catch up on.
Barb....Glad you are feeling better don't overdo it. You made me laugh about the roundabout...When we lived in Rhode Island we lived on Aquidneck Island and I never drove off it. I had a map and I would make sure that I only ever took a right turn never had to drive across traffic. I would go miles out of my way just to be able to do it. It could be done.
Sorry about the job in London but who knows what's next for you.
Jackie....I do really wish you the best. I think one of the hardest things about going home is if you have to rely on relatives to live with. I am not saying all relatives are bad but even the best can be difficult. I went home for almost 3 months in 1983 I think in the back of my mind I was thinking of staying. I had 3 small children and was just so homesick. We had been in the US for almost 5 years. I was staying with my Mother in the UK. The first couple of weeks were fine but then it went slowly down hill. It wasnt my home I felt uncomfortable. I did buy the food but its amazing how quickly money goes when you dont have alot of it. By the end of the holiday I had run out of money and was miserable. I was happy to come back to the US. But given different circumstances it might have been very different. Money really is important when thinking about moving home.
My friend in the UK bought a bungalow in a neighbourhood which had more old folks than young she thought she would like it. She hates it and has put her home on the market and wants to leave.
Dontheturner....How's those veggies coming along and how are you fitting in to life back in the UK. Perhaps I should ask how is your wife doing.
Jasper123....Glad to see you are doing well. Have you found any activities you like so you can meet younger people. Seems you are doing well with your children.
Easterndawn....How are things going with you. Are you still travelling and staying in the flat during the week with wee mac. I miss your posts need to know how you are doing. I suppose you are very busy.
When I came to the US it took me years to even get close to not being homesick. I was actually ill for the first year. I had to go to the doctors I think most of you know that before we left the UK I had had a big operation and it wasnt till many years later I was told you are not suppose to make any major decision for at least two years.
I did pull myself out of it but I was in my late thirties when we moved to the US so I found it very hard to become an American. I never fully have. I always missed the holidays. I was nearly 40 before we settled in Rhode Island. We had moved from Florida to California and then RI and now NH.
4th July...I dont mind Americans wanting to celebrate. I enjoyed it much more when the my children were little. We lived next door to a farm in Portsmouth RI. Louis Escabars Farm he was wonderful. Every year he puts on a firework display. We only had to walk out of the front door and look across the farmland and it was wonderful. He's now added a Maize which he cuts from his cow corn in September. I love last night of the Proms it makes me feel really homesick and thats a purely British thing.
between two worlds...I agree so much with your post. I have always felt like a fish out of water. Never could become whatever it is one becomes when you are an American. I look at my children and I see how different they are to me. Its hard to put my finger on what it is but I know its different. When my relatives came for visits and brought children I could see such a difference in them.
I remember one doctor in the UK who was treating my son when he had to stay in hospital he put in the remarks column of the hospital papers "cocky little American". My son was just 8 and was joking with him about almost having his fingers chopped off. He took what my son said in an entirely wrong way. But thats it humour is different. My family here in the US think I have a very strange sense of humour.
I think after the first few years and realizing that I was here to stay I just got on with it and threw myself into being a good Mother and not thinking about going home although it was always in the back of my mind that one day I would. Just never found the right time. But living on what might be, was not possible. I had a really good life and enjoyed most of it. I am sorry that I made some really bad decisions off course I am but there is no good dwelling on it.
Now comes the hard part
its been a really tough few weeks what with the Lyme desease and the house not selling. I am not sure now I will ever get home. There comes a point in time when you have to say, its just not going to work. I hope I havent reached that point yet but I am getting close to it. For many personal reasons its getting much harder no matter what, we will have to sell this house but then I have to decide what to do. Keeping it in apple pie order is the hardest I am constantly looking to see what needs doing next. I have spent this past couple of weeks in the garden now its back to concentrating on the house. I am constantly frustrated with any estate agent we have. Doesnt matter which one. Please be very careful when you hire one.
If I had one warning to all who are thinking of going home do not leave it till you are in your 60's especially if you have a house to sell. Make plans and get out as soon as you can or put your house on the market and sell it and move into a rented place. You have the luxury then of not needing to lower the price of your home because your in no big hurry to sell it. Do not worry about those around you they will be fine if you decide to leave. I worried about my children. I thought I could not sell till they were settled in their own places so I allowed them to stay and save money to buy their own homes but that does not help us now.
Finally I have noticed a change in my friends in the UK I think they have given up on me ever coming home. When I say that I am still thinking of coming they act so surprised and wonder how I could ever think of leaving my family behind or why would I want to go back when everything is so bad. In many cases unless I make contact with them I dont hear from them.
I would have put this post in the chit chat thread but I think it belongs here as a warning to those who are dithering about going home.
Barb....Glad you are feeling better don't overdo it. You made me laugh about the roundabout...When we lived in Rhode Island we lived on Aquidneck Island and I never drove off it. I had a map and I would make sure that I only ever took a right turn never had to drive across traffic. I would go miles out of my way just to be able to do it. It could be done.
Sorry about the job in London but who knows what's next for you.Jackie....I do really wish you the best. I think one of the hardest things about going home is if you have to rely on relatives to live with. I am not saying all relatives are bad but even the best can be difficult. I went home for almost 3 months in 1983 I think in the back of my mind I was thinking of staying. I had 3 small children and was just so homesick. We had been in the US for almost 5 years. I was staying with my Mother in the UK. The first couple of weeks were fine but then it went slowly down hill. It wasnt my home I felt uncomfortable. I did buy the food but its amazing how quickly money goes when you dont have alot of it. By the end of the holiday I had run out of money and was miserable. I was happy to come back to the US. But given different circumstances it might have been very different. Money really is important when thinking about moving home.
My friend in the UK bought a bungalow in a neighbourhood which had more old folks than young she thought she would like it. She hates it and has put her home on the market and wants to leave.
Dontheturner....How's those veggies coming along and how are you fitting in to life back in the UK. Perhaps I should ask how is your wife doing.
Jasper123....Glad to see you are doing well. Have you found any activities you like so you can meet younger people. Seems you are doing well with your children.
Easterndawn....How are things going with you. Are you still travelling and staying in the flat during the week with wee mac. I miss your posts need to know how you are doing. I suppose you are very busy.
When I came to the US it took me years to even get close to not being homesick. I was actually ill for the first year. I had to go to the doctors I think most of you know that before we left the UK I had had a big operation and it wasnt till many years later I was told you are not suppose to make any major decision for at least two years.
I did pull myself out of it but I was in my late thirties when we moved to the US so I found it very hard to become an American. I never fully have. I always missed the holidays. I was nearly 40 before we settled in Rhode Island. We had moved from Florida to California and then RI and now NH.4th July...I dont mind Americans wanting to celebrate. I enjoyed it much more when the my children were little. We lived next door to a farm in Portsmouth RI. Louis Escabars Farm he was wonderful. Every year he puts on a firework display. We only had to walk out of the front door and look across the farmland and it was wonderful. He's now added a Maize which he cuts from his cow corn in September. I love last night of the Proms it makes me feel really homesick and thats a purely British thing.
between two worlds...I agree so much with your post. I have always felt like a fish out of water. Never could become whatever it is one becomes when you are an American. I look at my children and I see how different they are to me. Its hard to put my finger on what it is but I know its different. When my relatives came for visits and brought children I could see such a difference in them.
I remember one doctor in the UK who was treating my son when he had to stay in hospital he put in the remarks column of the hospital papers "cocky little American". My son was just 8 and was joking with him about almost having his fingers chopped off. He took what my son said in an entirely wrong way. But thats it humour is different. My family here in the US think I have a very strange sense of humour.
I think after the first few years and realizing that I was here to stay I just got on with it and threw myself into being a good Mother and not thinking about going home although it was always in the back of my mind that one day I would. Just never found the right time. But living on what might be, was not possible. I had a really good life and enjoyed most of it. I am sorry that I made some really bad decisions off course I am but there is no good dwelling on it.
Now comes the hard part
its been a really tough few weeks what with the Lyme desease and the house not selling. I am not sure now I will ever get home. There comes a point in time when you have to say, its just not going to work. I hope I havent reached that point yet but I am getting close to it. For many personal reasons its getting much harder no matter what, we will have to sell this house but then I have to decide what to do. Keeping it in apple pie order is the hardest I am constantly looking to see what needs doing next. I have spent this past couple of weeks in the garden now its back to concentrating on the house. I am constantly frustrated with any estate agent we have. Doesnt matter which one. Please be very careful when you hire one.If I had one warning to all who are thinking of going home do not leave it till you are in your 60's especially if you have a house to sell. Make plans and get out as soon as you can or put your house on the market and sell it and move into a rented place. You have the luxury then of not needing to lower the price of your home because your in no big hurry to sell it. Do not worry about those around you they will be fine if you decide to leave. I worried about my children. I thought I could not sell till they were settled in their own places so I allowed them to stay and save money to buy their own homes but that does not help us now.
Finally I have noticed a change in my friends in the UK I think they have given up on me ever coming home. When I say that I am still thinking of coming they act so surprised and wonder how I could ever think of leaving my family behind or why would I want to go back when everything is so bad. In many cases unless I make contact with them I dont hear from them.
I would have put this post in the chit chat thread but I think it belongs here as a warning to those who are dithering about going home.
Jul 7th 2011, 3:54 am
#7908
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Now Devon
Posts: 951
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Thank you to everyone who has given me support, including by PM, it is appreciated.
Rodney and Beedubya, an FOI is a Freedom of Information application. For anyone who has never needed to make one, they can provide astonishing information to say the least. I even read a note in my mum's file criticising me because I refused to lie to her! Sometimes information which can be damaging to the provider, is deleted or denied and needs to be further pursued.
Following one very serious abuse against me in early 2002, I raised an FOI, and months later found that a Ministerial Complaints meeting had been set up to address my complaint. No one had told me it had taken place, but very clearly their discussion was more about handling me as a complainant, than resolving my complaint. It was a question of protecting the offenders and their agency from legal action, not protecting me from abuse.
This will astonish you. In the documents I also found reference to a letter which was to be distributed to the participants of the meeting, so I requested the information. It was denied on the grounds of privacy and confidentiality. I went to the Ombudsman for an External Review, and eventually the determination was in my favour. The reason for this was because the information was in my file so pertinent to me, and also that it had been broadcast on the internet! Unfortunately under their Act they were not permitted to tell me where.
Despite this the Government Department appealed again . . . still on the grounds of privacy and confidentiality even though it was on the internet. The Ombudsman set up another review with a lawyer, and by this time we were in 2004. At this stage I bought my first iMac with access to the internet, and while browsing through Britain's NHS, I came across an interesting reference in Scotland. This prompted me to follow my nose, and eventually I found the information which had been denied to me in Australia. I downloaded it and advised the Ombudsman. He then instructed the Government Department to formally provide me with the information.
He was angry with them for wasting 18 months of his time, but during all of this, I examined the Freedom of Information Act and found a flaw which gave no provision for a third party to respond in a given time. The relevant Minister agreed that the flaw existed, and assured me that it was being addressed. Surprise surprise, it still exists.
This is merely a thumbnail of what I've faced for over a decade, I think I need to escape it all.
Rodney and Beedubya, an FOI is a Freedom of Information application. For anyone who has never needed to make one, they can provide astonishing information to say the least. I even read a note in my mum's file criticising me because I refused to lie to her! Sometimes information which can be damaging to the provider, is deleted or denied and needs to be further pursued.
Following one very serious abuse against me in early 2002, I raised an FOI, and months later found that a Ministerial Complaints meeting had been set up to address my complaint. No one had told me it had taken place, but very clearly their discussion was more about handling me as a complainant, than resolving my complaint. It was a question of protecting the offenders and their agency from legal action, not protecting me from abuse.
This will astonish you. In the documents I also found reference to a letter which was to be distributed to the participants of the meeting, so I requested the information. It was denied on the grounds of privacy and confidentiality. I went to the Ombudsman for an External Review, and eventually the determination was in my favour. The reason for this was because the information was in my file so pertinent to me, and also that it had been broadcast on the internet! Unfortunately under their Act they were not permitted to tell me where.
Despite this the Government Department appealed again . . . still on the grounds of privacy and confidentiality even though it was on the internet. The Ombudsman set up another review with a lawyer, and by this time we were in 2004. At this stage I bought my first iMac with access to the internet, and while browsing through Britain's NHS, I came across an interesting reference in Scotland. This prompted me to follow my nose, and eventually I found the information which had been denied to me in Australia. I downloaded it and advised the Ombudsman. He then instructed the Government Department to formally provide me with the information.
He was angry with them for wasting 18 months of his time, but during all of this, I examined the Freedom of Information Act and found a flaw which gave no provision for a third party to respond in a given time. The relevant Minister agreed that the flaw existed, and assured me that it was being addressed. Surprise surprise, it still exists.
This is merely a thumbnail of what I've faced for over a decade, I think I need to escape it all.
Jul 7th 2011, 5:22 am
#7909
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 112
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I did a little updating but in a couple of weeks will move some of the people out of the list, those we have not heard from in a year or more.
Islandwoman.................................Living in Frome
High Tide......................................In Devon in lovely home.
jasper123......................................Hom e with his Mum and getting exellent health care and great food.
dunroving......... ...........................Scotland
DDL.............................................Lo ndon really settled in got a job and really enjoying life. Found a lovely flat.
aes1............................................ Returned to the UK then onto Malta
Bevm........... ...............................Decided to live around the Dawlish area. Bought a home with a sea view.
magistrate.................................. Devon
callé............................................ Midlands travelled home on the QE 2 with her dogs.
Easterndawn................................Scotlan d.. Husband and doggies joining her and Mac soon
Adelia.......... ..............................UK from Australia
scampicat ..... ............................ UK from Spain
HighSpeedGrandma.......................Move from the US to Hong kong but now back in the UK.
alba1 ..........................................Been back for 3 years but struggles wonder how you are doing.
reginac7......................................Took his parrot with him.
J.J............................................... Back in June of 2010 to Norfolk
Adelia..........................................Mo ved back to UK from Australia
Marmalade...................................Moved back 2010 would love to hear from her.
Brits 1.........................................Home
Our latest Ex-Pats to return home.
Beedubya....................................Now home got a job and a flat. DontheTurner...............................in Shropshire.
Ildyinlv.......................................Now home with her parents.
Sentosa..................................... House sold so she is now home.
Waiting room.
PATM......................................In Italy hoping to go home soon when house sells.
Between two worlds..................Living in France inching her way home.
Boodles...................................... Canada hoping to go home
Mummy in the foothills ................. Northern California
trottytrue........................................ New England ..waiting for house to sell
alba1............................................. .
wawa............................................mo ving back in a few years with 2 Cats and 1 husband.
Taffy..Old Duck .............................Plans for two years 2011
bithbheo.......................................Bri sbane planning to go home
fulwood........................................pla nning to go home
Tanto...........................................
Mallory.......................................Goin g home for a couple of months at a time.
Lorac05.......................................Ithi nk she is home.
Charleygirl...................................Goin g home in August..
robin1234....................................North ern New York...Moving back in future
stllurnin48.. ................................planning to go home
Elvira.........................................On a big island somewhere not sure if going home but gave plenty of good information
black swan..................................Maybe one day
lucyloo1358................................Hoping to move back 2010 wonder if she/he did.
h20............................................Mov ing from Cyprus?
shelley748..................................Hoping to move back to UK from Canada
callowman..................................Hoping to move back in 2011 ?
eastkilbride.................................Went back for holiday 2010 wonder what she decided.?
ionaskye....................................Wants to go home, how is she doing...
redbarn99.................................. Hoping to go home.
I like tea....................................Moving back within 3 years.
Victor Meldrew..........................Going home soon
SomersetGirl............................Canada
Cheers......................................One day.
FishandChips.............................Californi a
EnglishMan43............................Thinking about it
Aries........................................Selli ng house and returning to UK Sept.2011Blackcatsfan............................. ..California
bandrui.......................................Cana da
stealthninja.................................Canad a.
Islandwoman.................................Living in Frome
High Tide......................................In Devon in lovely home.
jasper123......................................Hom e with his Mum and getting exellent health care and great food.
dunroving......... ...........................Scotland
DDL.............................................Lo ndon really settled in got a job and really enjoying life. Found a lovely flat.
aes1............................................ Returned to the UK then onto Malta
Bevm........... ...............................Decided to live around the Dawlish area. Bought a home with a sea view.
magistrate.................................. Devon
callé............................................ Midlands travelled home on the QE 2 with her dogs.
Easterndawn................................Scotlan d.. Husband and doggies joining her and Mac soon
Adelia.......... ..............................UK from Australia
scampicat ..... ............................ UK from Spain
HighSpeedGrandma.......................Move from the US to Hong kong but now back in the UK.
alba1 ..........................................Been back for 3 years but struggles wonder how you are doing.
reginac7......................................Took his parrot with him.
J.J............................................... Back in June of 2010 to Norfolk
Adelia..........................................Mo ved back to UK from Australia
Marmalade...................................Moved back 2010 would love to hear from her.
Brits 1.........................................Home
Our latest Ex-Pats to return home.
Beedubya....................................Now home got a job and a flat. DontheTurner...............................in Shropshire.
Ildyinlv.......................................Now home with her parents.
Sentosa..................................... House sold so she is now home.
Waiting room.
PATM......................................In Italy hoping to go home soon when house sells.
Between two worlds..................Living in France inching her way home.
Boodles...................................... Canada hoping to go home
Mummy in the foothills ................. Northern California
trottytrue........................................ New England ..waiting for house to sell
alba1............................................. .
wawa............................................mo ving back in a few years with 2 Cats and 1 husband.
Taffy..Old Duck .............................Plans for two years 2011
bithbheo.......................................Bri sbane planning to go home
fulwood........................................pla nning to go home
Tanto...........................................
Mallory.......................................Goin g home for a couple of months at a time.
Lorac05.......................................Ithi nk she is home.
Charleygirl...................................Goin g home in August..
robin1234....................................North ern New York...Moving back in future
stllurnin48.. ................................planning to go home
Elvira.........................................On a big island somewhere not sure if going home but gave plenty of good information
black swan..................................Maybe one day
lucyloo1358................................Hoping to move back 2010 wonder if she/he did.
h20............................................Mov ing from Cyprus?
shelley748..................................Hoping to move back to UK from Canada
callowman..................................Hoping to move back in 2011 ?
eastkilbride.................................Went back for holiday 2010 wonder what she decided.?
ionaskye....................................Wants to go home, how is she doing...
redbarn99.................................. Hoping to go home.
I like tea....................................Moving back within 3 years.
Victor Meldrew..........................Going home soon
SomersetGirl............................Canada
Cheers......................................One day.
FishandChips.............................Californi a
EnglishMan43............................Thinking about it
Aries........................................Selli ng house and returning to UK Sept.2011Blackcatsfan............................. ..California
bandrui.......................................Cana da
stealthninja.................................Canad a.
Jul 7th 2011, 5:49 am
#7910
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,197
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
When I came to the US it took me years to even get close to not being homesick. I was actually ill for the first year. I had to go to the doctors I think most of you know that before we left the UK I had had a big operation and it wasnt till many years later I was told you are not suppose to make any major decision for at least two years. I did pull myself out of it but I was in my late thirties when we moved to the US so I found it very hard to become an American. I never fully have. I always missed the holidays. I was nearly 40 before we settled in Rhode Island. We had moved from Florida to California and then RI and now NH.
4th July...I dont mind Americans wanting to celebrate. I enjoyed it much more when the my children were little. We lived next door to a farm in Portsmouth RI. Louis Escabars Farm he was wonderful. Every year he puts on a firework display. We only had to walk out of the front door and look across the farmland and it was wonderful. He's now added a Maize which he cuts from his cow corn in September. I love last night of the Proms it makes me feel really homesick and thats a purely British thing.
between two worlds...I agree so much with your post. I have always felt like a fish out of water. Never could become whatever it is one becomes when you are an American. I look at my children and I see how different they are to me. Its hard to put my finger on what it is but I know its different. When my relatives came for visits and brought children I could see such a difference in them.
I remember one doctor in the UK who was treating my son when he had to stay in hospital he put in the remarks column of the hospital papers "cocky little American". My son was just 8 and was joking with him about almost having his fingers chopped off. He took what my son said in an entirely wrong way. But thats it humour is different. My family here in the US think I have a very strange sense of humour.
I think after the first few years and realizing that I was here to stay I just got on with it and threw myself into being a good Mother and not thinking about going home although it was always in the back of my mind that one day I would. Just never found the right time. But living on what might be, was not possible. I had a really good life and enjoyed most of it. I am sorry that I made some really bad decisions off course I am but there is no good dwelling on it.
Now comes the hard part its been a really tough few weeks what with the Lyme desease and the house not selling. I am not sure now I will ever get home. There comes a point in time when you have to say, its just not going to work. I hope I havent reached that point yet but I am getting close to it. For many personal reasons its getting much harder no matter what, we will have to sell this house but then I have to decide what to do. Keeping it in apple pie order is the hardest I am constantly looking to see what needs doing next. I have spent this past couple of weeks in the garden now its back to concentrating on the house. I am constantly frustrated with any estate agent we have. Doesnt matter which one. Please be very careful when you hire one.
If I had one warning to all who are thinking of going home do not leave it till you are in your 60's especially if you have a house to sell. Make plans and get out as soon as you can or put your house on the market and sell it and move into a rented place. You have the luxury then of not needing to lower the price of your home because your in no big hurry to sell it. Do not worry about those around you they will be fine if you decide to leave. I worried about my children. I thought I could not sell till they were settled in their own places so I allowed them to stay and save money to buy their own homes but that does not help us now.
Finally I have noticed a change in my friends in the UK I think they have given up on me ever coming home. When I say that I am still thinking of coming they act so surprised and wonder how I could ever think of leaving my family behind or why would I want to go back when everything is so bad. In many cases unless I make contact with them I dont hear from them.
I would have put this post in the chit chat thread but I think it belongs here as a warning to those who are dithering about going home.
I did pull myself out of it but I was in my late thirties when we moved to the US so I found it very hard to become an American. I never fully have. I always missed the holidays. I was nearly 40 before we settled in Rhode Island. We had moved from Florida to California and then RI and now NH.4th July...I dont mind Americans wanting to celebrate. I enjoyed it much more when the my children were little. We lived next door to a farm in Portsmouth RI. Louis Escabars Farm he was wonderful. Every year he puts on a firework display. We only had to walk out of the front door and look across the farmland and it was wonderful. He's now added a Maize which he cuts from his cow corn in September. I love last night of the Proms it makes me feel really homesick and thats a purely British thing.
between two worlds...I agree so much with your post. I have always felt like a fish out of water. Never could become whatever it is one becomes when you are an American. I look at my children and I see how different they are to me. Its hard to put my finger on what it is but I know its different. When my relatives came for visits and brought children I could see such a difference in them.
I remember one doctor in the UK who was treating my son when he had to stay in hospital he put in the remarks column of the hospital papers "cocky little American". My son was just 8 and was joking with him about almost having his fingers chopped off. He took what my son said in an entirely wrong way. But thats it humour is different. My family here in the US think I have a very strange sense of humour.
I think after the first few years and realizing that I was here to stay I just got on with it and threw myself into being a good Mother and not thinking about going home although it was always in the back of my mind that one day I would. Just never found the right time. But living on what might be, was not possible. I had a really good life and enjoyed most of it. I am sorry that I made some really bad decisions off course I am but there is no good dwelling on it.
Now comes the hard part
its been a really tough few weeks what with the Lyme desease and the house not selling. I am not sure now I will ever get home. There comes a point in time when you have to say, its just not going to work. I hope I havent reached that point yet but I am getting close to it. For many personal reasons its getting much harder no matter what, we will have to sell this house but then I have to decide what to do. Keeping it in apple pie order is the hardest I am constantly looking to see what needs doing next. I have spent this past couple of weeks in the garden now its back to concentrating on the house. I am constantly frustrated with any estate agent we have. Doesnt matter which one. Please be very careful when you hire one.If I had one warning to all who are thinking of going home do not leave it till you are in your 60's especially if you have a house to sell. Make plans and get out as soon as you can or put your house on the market and sell it and move into a rented place. You have the luxury then of not needing to lower the price of your home because your in no big hurry to sell it. Do not worry about those around you they will be fine if you decide to leave. I worried about my children. I thought I could not sell till they were settled in their own places so I allowed them to stay and save money to buy their own homes but that does not help us now.
Finally I have noticed a change in my friends in the UK I think they have given up on me ever coming home. When I say that I am still thinking of coming they act so surprised and wonder how I could ever think of leaving my family behind or why would I want to go back when everything is so bad. In many cases unless I make contact with them I dont hear from them.
I would have put this post in the chit chat thread but I think it belongs here as a warning to those who are dithering about going home.
It must have been painful to do so, especially the last part saying you are close to losing hope of ever getting home. I am so sad for you.
You are right in my opinion, your post absolutely DOES belong here and not in chit chat because it should encourage those who are "dithering" to make up their minds if they can, and take action.
This thread has always been a place where ditherers can come and talk about their mixed feelings--those mixed feeling and the being pulled in two directions is the essence of being an expat after all.
The summer buying season isn't over yet, though! (In fact we sold our house at the end of July). I do know how frustrating it is when you keep working on making it nice and it feels as if no one will ever buy--we thought we had lost all hope of selling ours and we would just be stuck with it--but remember--you only need one person to like it.
Of course if you do decide, in the end, it just isn't going to work for you and you have to let go of the dream, you will feel, I hope, no sense of "failure" --you have tried so hard and have been working so hard, and been ill as well, so no one would blame you if, in the end, you decided to just give it all a rest and stay put.
However, as you explain, you aren't quite there yet--it aint over til the fat lady sings, as they say!!!
The house may still sell and I for one will send vibes, pray, importune every deity, on your behalf!
Tina
Jul 7th 2011, 7:10 am
#7911
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Phibun Mangsahan Ubon Province Thailand.
Posts: 1,073
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hi TT, Thanks for asking - I am just fine - and Tim spends most of her time in the Greenhouse & Garden - and is now eating her own home grown potatoes - for the first time in her life - and loves them. - Yesterday, she actually chose her own new clothes - at Matalan. - White & Fawn summer trousers and various tops! She is so happy - and that makes me happy too! Out Doctor (female) was so happy when I saw her, she put her arms around me, and kissed me! _ I am so glad we came home. Love Don
Jul 7th 2011, 11:57 am
#7912
In the pink
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,324
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hello again Mallory,
The average U.S. social security is around $1,000 per month for a single person, but it all depends on your life time earnings,I know people over there that make far less then that like one only makes $750 p.m. and I know another single person that makes $1,450 p.m. and a lady same age as me who gets $1,300, so it really does differ a lot from one person to the next,
But you see this is what you have to consider, how would you like to say get the average of $1,000 out of that the government deduct your $140 for basic medicare, that will leave you with $860 as your actual monthly benefit, then the extra supplementary health insurance you have to pay for each month to make up the difference from what the medicare does not cover, so thats another $80 out of your check, then if you have regular prescriptions to pick up allow another $70 per month for that out of pocket,
and so you would be left with a whopping $710 p.m. for your S.S.
And thats pretty close to the British pension with no deductions, plus in England if one who is of retiring age and retired does not have at least £135 per week to live on there british pension will be made up to that amount, its called pension credit (means tested) certain restrictions apply, ---- having said all this ---- financially I still dont know which country one would be better off in
The average U.S. social security is around $1,000 per month for a single person, but it all depends on your life time earnings,I know people over there that make far less then that like one only makes $750 p.m. and I know another single person that makes $1,450 p.m. and a lady same age as me who gets $1,300, so it really does differ a lot from one person to the next,
But you see this is what you have to consider, how would you like to say get the average of $1,000 out of that the government deduct your $140 for basic medicare, that will leave you with $860 as your actual monthly benefit, then the extra supplementary health insurance you have to pay for each month to make up the difference from what the medicare does not cover, so thats another $80 out of your check, then if you have regular prescriptions to pick up allow another $70 per month for that out of pocket,
and so you would be left with a whopping $710 p.m. for your S.S.
And thats pretty close to the British pension with no deductions, plus in England if one who is of retiring age and retired does not have at least £135 per week to live on there british pension will be made up to that amount, its called pension credit (means tested) certain restrictions apply, ---- having said all this ---- financially I still dont know which country one would be better off in
Yes, people pay property taxes in the both countries. The state that I live in gives a discount to people over 65, the disabled, etc.
My point was - it seems to even out no matter where you live. I have two siblings in the UK - we all seem to live very similar lives. No one better off than the other. We travel back and forth to visit, vacation together, compares notes. All seems a level playing field to me.
Hope your hernia op goes okay Rodney. My hubby has had two hernia repairs, and no they didn't kick him out into the street to die! He did very well, and was up and about in no time.
Jul 7th 2011, 1:24 pm
#7913
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Goodheavens what a lot of posts to catch up on.
Barb....Glad you are feeling better don't overdo it. You made me laugh about the roundabout...When we lived in Rhode Island we lived on Aquidneck Island and I never drove off it. I had a map and I would make sure that I only ever took a right turn never had to drive across traffic. I would go miles out of my way just to be able to do it. It could be done. Sorry about the job in London but who knows what's next for you.
Jackie....I do really wish you the best. I think one of the hardest things about going home is if you have to rely on relatives to live with. I am not saying all relatives are bad but even the best can be difficult. I went home for almost 3 months in 1983 I think in the back of my mind I was thinking of staying. I had 3 small children and was just so homesick. We had been in the US for almost 5 years. I was staying with my Mother in the UK. The first couple of weeks were fine but then it went slowly down hill. It wasnt my home I felt uncomfortable. I did buy the food but its amazing how quickly money goes when you dont have alot of it. By the end of the holiday I had run out of money and was miserable. I was happy to come back to the US. But given different circumstances it might have been very different. Money really is important when thinking about moving home.
My friend in the UK bought a bungalow in a neighbourhood which had more old folks than young she thought she would like it. She hates it and has put her home on the market and wants to leave.
Dontheturner....How's those veggies coming along and how are you fitting in to life back in the UK. Perhaps I should ask how is your wife doing.
Jasper123....Glad to see you are doing well. Have you found any activities you like so you can meet younger people. Seems you are doing well with your children.
Easterndawn....How are things going with you. Are you still travelling and staying in the flat during the week with wee mac. I miss your posts need to know how you are doing. I suppose you are very busy.
When I came to the US it took me years to even get close to not being homesick. I was actually ill for the first year. I had to go to the doctors I think most of you know that before we left the UK I had had a big operation and it wasnt till many years later I was told you are not suppose to make any major decision for at least two years. I did pull myself out of it but I was in my late thirties when we moved to the US so I found it very hard to become an American. I never fully have. I always missed the holidays. I was nearly 40 before we settled in Rhode Island. We had moved from Florida to California and then RI and now NH.
4th July...I dont mind Americans wanting to celebrate. I enjoyed it much more when the my children were little. We lived next door to a farm in Portsmouth RI. Louis Escabars Farm he was wonderful. Every year he puts on a firework display. We only had to walk out of the front door and look across the farmland and it was wonderful. He's now added a Maize which he cuts from his cow corn in September. I love last night of the Proms it makes me feel really homesick and thats a purely British thing.
between two worlds...I agree so much with your post. I have always felt like a fish out of water. Never could become whatever it is one becomes when you are an American. I look at my children and I see how different they are to me. Its hard to put my finger on what it is but I know its different. When my relatives came for visits and brought children I could see such a difference in them.
I remember one doctor in the UK who was treating my son when he had to stay in hospital he put in the remarks column of the hospital papers "cocky little American". My son was just 8 and was joking with him about almost having his fingers chopped off. He took what my son said in an entirely wrong way. But thats it humour is different. My family here in the US think I have a very strange sense of humour.
I think after the first few years and realizing that I was here to stay I just got on with it and threw myself into being a good Mother and not thinking about going home although it was always in the back of my mind that one day I would. Just never found the right time. But living on what might be, was not possible. I had a really good life and enjoyed most of it. I am sorry that I made some really bad decisions off course I am but there is no good dwelling on it.
Now comes the hard part its been a really tough few weeks what with the Lyme desease and the house not selling. I am not sure now I will ever get home. There comes a point in time when you have to say, its just not going to work. I hope I havent reached that point yet but I am getting close to it. For many personal reasons its getting much harder no matter what, we will have to sell this house but then I have to decide what to do. Keeping it in apple pie order is the hardest I am constantly looking to see what needs doing next. I have spent this past couple of weeks in the garden now its back to concentrating on the house. I am constantly frustrated with any estate agent we have. Doesnt matter which one. Please be very careful when you hire one.
If I had one warning to all who are thinking of going home do not leave it till you are in your 60's especially if you have a house to sell. Make plans and get out as soon as you can or put your house on the market and sell it and move into a rented place. You have the luxury then of not needing to lower the price of your home because your in no big hurry to sell it. Do not worry about those around you they will be fine if you decide to leave. I worried about my children. I thought I could not sell till they were settled in their own places so I allowed them to stay and save money to buy their own homes but that does not help us now.
Finally I have noticed a change in my friends in the UK I think they have given up on me ever coming home. When I say that I am still thinking of coming they act so surprised and wonder how I could ever think of leaving my family behind or why would I want to go back when everything is so bad. In many cases unless I make contact with them I dont hear from them.
I would have put this post in the chit chat thread but I think it belongs here as a warning to those who are dithering about going home.
Barb....Glad you are feeling better don't overdo it. You made me laugh about the roundabout...When we lived in Rhode Island we lived on Aquidneck Island and I never drove off it. I had a map and I would make sure that I only ever took a right turn never had to drive across traffic. I would go miles out of my way just to be able to do it. It could be done.
Sorry about the job in London but who knows what's next for you.Jackie....I do really wish you the best. I think one of the hardest things about going home is if you have to rely on relatives to live with. I am not saying all relatives are bad but even the best can be difficult. I went home for almost 3 months in 1983 I think in the back of my mind I was thinking of staying. I had 3 small children and was just so homesick. We had been in the US for almost 5 years. I was staying with my Mother in the UK. The first couple of weeks were fine but then it went slowly down hill. It wasnt my home I felt uncomfortable. I did buy the food but its amazing how quickly money goes when you dont have alot of it. By the end of the holiday I had run out of money and was miserable. I was happy to come back to the US. But given different circumstances it might have been very different. Money really is important when thinking about moving home.
My friend in the UK bought a bungalow in a neighbourhood which had more old folks than young she thought she would like it. She hates it and has put her home on the market and wants to leave.
Dontheturner....How's those veggies coming along and how are you fitting in to life back in the UK. Perhaps I should ask how is your wife doing.
Jasper123....Glad to see you are doing well. Have you found any activities you like so you can meet younger people. Seems you are doing well with your children.
Easterndawn....How are things going with you. Are you still travelling and staying in the flat during the week with wee mac. I miss your posts need to know how you are doing. I suppose you are very busy.
When I came to the US it took me years to even get close to not being homesick. I was actually ill for the first year. I had to go to the doctors I think most of you know that before we left the UK I had had a big operation and it wasnt till many years later I was told you are not suppose to make any major decision for at least two years.
I did pull myself out of it but I was in my late thirties when we moved to the US so I found it very hard to become an American. I never fully have. I always missed the holidays. I was nearly 40 before we settled in Rhode Island. We had moved from Florida to California and then RI and now NH.4th July...I dont mind Americans wanting to celebrate. I enjoyed it much more when the my children were little. We lived next door to a farm in Portsmouth RI. Louis Escabars Farm he was wonderful. Every year he puts on a firework display. We only had to walk out of the front door and look across the farmland and it was wonderful. He's now added a Maize which he cuts from his cow corn in September. I love last night of the Proms it makes me feel really homesick and thats a purely British thing.
between two worlds...I agree so much with your post. I have always felt like a fish out of water. Never could become whatever it is one becomes when you are an American. I look at my children and I see how different they are to me. Its hard to put my finger on what it is but I know its different. When my relatives came for visits and brought children I could see such a difference in them.
I remember one doctor in the UK who was treating my son when he had to stay in hospital he put in the remarks column of the hospital papers "cocky little American". My son was just 8 and was joking with him about almost having his fingers chopped off. He took what my son said in an entirely wrong way. But thats it humour is different. My family here in the US think I have a very strange sense of humour.
I think after the first few years and realizing that I was here to stay I just got on with it and threw myself into being a good Mother and not thinking about going home although it was always in the back of my mind that one day I would. Just never found the right time. But living on what might be, was not possible. I had a really good life and enjoyed most of it. I am sorry that I made some really bad decisions off course I am but there is no good dwelling on it.
Now comes the hard part
its been a really tough few weeks what with the Lyme desease and the house not selling. I am not sure now I will ever get home. There comes a point in time when you have to say, its just not going to work. I hope I havent reached that point yet but I am getting close to it. For many personal reasons its getting much harder no matter what, we will have to sell this house but then I have to decide what to do. Keeping it in apple pie order is the hardest I am constantly looking to see what needs doing next. I have spent this past couple of weeks in the garden now its back to concentrating on the house. I am constantly frustrated with any estate agent we have. Doesnt matter which one. Please be very careful when you hire one.If I had one warning to all who are thinking of going home do not leave it till you are in your 60's especially if you have a house to sell. Make plans and get out as soon as you can or put your house on the market and sell it and move into a rented place. You have the luxury then of not needing to lower the price of your home because your in no big hurry to sell it. Do not worry about those around you they will be fine if you decide to leave. I worried about my children. I thought I could not sell till they were settled in their own places so I allowed them to stay and save money to buy their own homes but that does not help us now.
Finally I have noticed a change in my friends in the UK I think they have given up on me ever coming home. When I say that I am still thinking of coming they act so surprised and wonder how I could ever think of leaving my family behind or why would I want to go back when everything is so bad. In many cases unless I make contact with them I dont hear from them.
I would have put this post in the chit chat thread but I think it belongs here as a warning to those who are dithering about going home.
You Know here in U.K. I have found that on average house prices have not been affected in the slump anywhere near the extent of the U.S. I know it depends a lot on where in each country we live ---- like for an example my very good friend in Vegas who bought his house about 6 months before the crash for $220k is now worth just over $100k so hes lost over half its value, its just a regular 3 bedroom house detached with a big back yard, in a fairly good area,
My Mums house here in Portsmouth U.K. is in a good area and is a 3 bedroom terraced house and is still valued at £189k, before the crash a few years ago it was valued at £200k --- so really not much difference at all, but houses still take quite a long time to sell even here, there are a lot of houses for sell on the market here I have noticed,
trotty Take care, and try and keep positive, I know that can be hard to do sometimes, good luck on selling your house, but listen dont give up, if your hopes and dreams are to eventually come home then keep the dream alive, you are probably saying Hmmmm its easy for him to say, but nothing is impossible just try and believe--- and believe that the very next people to view you lovely house is going to fall head over heals in love with it (totally)
YES!!!!
Rodney.
Jul 7th 2011, 3:26 pm
#7914
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
But don't forget in the US, if a person on social security has an income under a certain amount, they are also given Medicaid to supplement Medicare, in which case they pay nothing for their healthcare and prescriptions.
Yes, people pay property taxes in the both countries. The state that I live in gives a discount to people over 65, the disabled, etc.
My point was - it seems to even out no matter where you live. I have two siblings in the UK - we all seem to live very similar lives. No one better off than the other. We travel back and forth to visit, vacation together, compares notes. All seems a level playing field to me.
Hope your hernia op goes okay Rodney. My hubby has had two hernia repairs, and no they didn't kick him out into the street to die! He did very well, and was up and about in no time.
Yes, people pay property taxes in the both countries. The state that I live in gives a discount to people over 65, the disabled, etc.
My point was - it seems to even out no matter where you live. I have two siblings in the UK - we all seem to live very similar lives. No one better off than the other. We travel back and forth to visit, vacation together, compares notes. All seems a level playing field to me.
Hope your hernia op goes okay Rodney. My hubby has had two hernia repairs, and no they didn't kick him out into the street to die! He did very well, and was up and about in no time.
As far as I remember Medicaid is given only to disabled people in U.S.
So its Medicare for regular retired people over 65,
And its medicaid for all disabled people on a disability pension (any age)
I seem to remember reading this on line a few years ago, but I may be wrong,
But I do know that if ones S.S. payments are lower then a certain level it is possible to apply for reduced monthly medicare payments, and if its really low like say $500 p.m. I dont think you pay at all,
Yes Like your husband this is my second hernia repair, the first was in Las Vegas about 8 years ago, at the time I had a good well paid Job with a good health plan, I think I paid a part of the Op but cant remember how much I paid, and right after I woke up from the Op I could go home as long as I had someone to take me home which I did, two weeks later I was back to work,
same here in U.K. my consultant told me it will be keyhole surgery this time and also allowed home after I wake up,
Take care,
Rodney.
PS where do you live in the U.S.?
Last edited by jasper123; Jul 7th 2011 at 3:28 pm. Reason: add words
Jul 7th 2011, 4:11 pm
#7916
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
NEWSFLASH ---- read all about it --- read all about it,
RUPERT MURDOCH HAS JUST AN HOUR AGO ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS CLOSING DOWN THE (NEWS OF THE WORLD) FOR EVER!!! THIS SUNDAYS ADDITION OF THE NEWSPAPER WILL BE THE LAST.
The News of The World is 168 years old ---- it is the most read British Newspaper in the world.
Its because of the phone hacking scandel, and all the big companys were pulling out of the paper and so it was loosing tens of millions of pounds in advertising,
And Rupert Murdoch felt that because of the scandel that the Newspaper would never be able to regain the respect of all it readers,
RUPERT MURDOCH HAS JUST AN HOUR AGO ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS CLOSING DOWN THE (NEWS OF THE WORLD) FOR EVER!!! THIS SUNDAYS ADDITION OF THE NEWSPAPER WILL BE THE LAST.
The News of The World is 168 years old ---- it is the most read British Newspaper in the world.
Its because of the phone hacking scandel, and all the big companys were pulling out of the paper and so it was loosing tens of millions of pounds in advertising,
And Rupert Murdoch felt that because of the scandel that the Newspaper would never be able to regain the respect of all it readers,
Last edited by jasper123; Jul 7th 2011 at 4:32 pm.
Jul 7th 2011, 4:24 pm
#7917
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Jul 7th 2011, 4:44 pm
#7918
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,139
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
NEWSFLASH ---- read all about it --- read all about it,
RUPERT MURDOCH HAS JUST AN HOUR AGO ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS CLOSING DOWN THE (NEWS OF THE WORLD) FOR EVER!!! THIS SUNDAYS ADDITION OF THE NEWSPAPER WILL BE THE LAST.
The News of The World is 168 years old ---- it is the most read British Newspaper in the world.
Its because of the phone hacking scandel, and all the big companys were pulling out of the paper and so it was loosing tens of millions of pounds in advertising,
And Rupert Murdoch felt that because of the scandel that the Newspaper would never be able to regain the respect of all it readers,
RUPERT MURDOCH HAS JUST AN HOUR AGO ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS CLOSING DOWN THE (NEWS OF THE WORLD) FOR EVER!!! THIS SUNDAYS ADDITION OF THE NEWSPAPER WILL BE THE LAST.
The News of The World is 168 years old ---- it is the most read British Newspaper in the world.
Its because of the phone hacking scandel, and all the big companys were pulling out of the paper and so it was loosing tens of millions of pounds in advertising,
And Rupert Murdoch felt that because of the scandel that the Newspaper would never be able to regain the respect of all it readers,
Jul 7th 2011, 5:27 pm
#7919
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,814
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Glad to see the back of it
Last edited by Pollyana; Jul 7th 2011 at 5:30 pm.
