Fleaflyfloflum

My husband has just turned my world into a head spin.
We were planning to get back to the UK early next year, but, as some of you know, my daughter has recently given birth and the baby has some health problems. I have also become worried about my daughter coping on her own. She has moved away from the rest of my family and doesnt know too many people where she is. If i am honest, i have been having sleepless nights for the last couple of weeks worrying about htem. Worrying about my other daughter who is about to give birth also and on top of it all trying to get things sorted this end.

This morning my husband suddenly piped up over breakfast that he feels i should go back NOW!!! I nearly fell off my chair.

On the one hand i am so excited at the prospect, but on the other, i dont want to make my husband feel i amrunning off leaving him to cope with everything here.
We also have his spouse visa issue to sort out. Does anyone know whether it would affect his application if i am in UK and he is still here?

I am emotionally all over the place right now, not knowing what to do for the best.

kez81

Its a hard one i in the oppsite postion im pregnant and my mum is in the UK she is comoing over for 3 weeks when the baby is born which will be so much help but i know im going to really miss her when she goes back i had my 4 year old in the uk i was quite young (21) when i had her so my mum help was really what i needed at time as it was all a bit overwhelming this is second time round and i do feel alot calmer about things plus im older too, i dont have family here but have a very supportive husband so ill be ok.

If you go home how long after you go back will your hubby join you i imagine it would be horrible being away from him also its a hard decision i mean if you are going back anyway could both of you not take it forward or is there a reason you are staying till next year?? Could you maybe go back for a few weeks when the baby is born to give her a hand then come back??





kezx

busterboy

I don't know about the visa situation Flea but I do know that if you feel that you really should be in the Uk now, maybe you should be making arrangements. The price of last minute flights might make you wait and stick it out for a little while longer though.

Fleaflyfloflum

Hi Kez

The reason we cannot go till after christmas is the dog. Her rabies jab doesnt get the all clear till then so someone needs to be here.
Financially going and coming back will put us back a bit, so if i go i go till my husband can get back to UK. I will miss him like hell, but i am so torn between him and the kids. He is such a wonderful bloke. He says he cannot watch me suffering like this and although we would be apart for about 5mths, he says he would rather that than have me here in such turmoil. He also said it would actually help us settle as i can get a job and find a car, and ideas of where we want to live etc.

I'm just worried it will affect his visa application and prolong it what with me over there and him in Sydney.

birdynumnum

Hi mate

Before you start pondering over whether to go or not, you need to find the situ re: your hubbys visa & if it'd be affected, thats the 1st priority b4 you start contemplating if to move back alone for awhile.
Really feel for you though, thats a toughie. Sending love.
JAJ knows these things doesnt he. Maybe PM him.
Good luck & let us know
T
xxxxxxxx

Fleaflyfloflum

Thanx Birdy

I have just messaged him, waiting for a reply.

I cant see why it would make it longer. We have been married 7yrs, got married in London and have plenty of documental evidence of being a genuine couple. We owned a house together in NZ.
My daughters dont know yet as its still night time there. I might not say anyhting until i know about his visa. Dont want to get them all excited for nothing.

clougherty family

Hi, I don't really know much about the animal situation, but can't you leave the dog with a friend and both go? Hope you get everything organised.

Jo

birdynumnum

Good luck. You'd think it'd be OK but I suppose you never know. Fingers crossed!
You must be v excited
Isnt there anyone who you can trust to look after puppy dog until she can fly...you could offer to supply the baileys

Kath & Graham

If it was me I would suggest you both go, maybe put the dog in Blue Cross Kennels I here its very good, we will be putting ours in there, and a lady off here has her doggies in there Im sure she could tell you how they are getting on.

If you dont go, you will make yourself blimmin ill, and if OH is OK about you going, then maybe you should (but that my opinion)..

Good luck

Kath

gingajoy

well, I would *presume* that all spousal visas for the UK are the same, regardless of which country you are coming from. I think it is more than fine if you are in the UK and he travels over. Here's what I know from going through the same process with my yank husband (but I defer to JAJ's knowledge on this one).

a) you'll need a settlement visa for a spouse
b) To qualify for admission as a spouse, you must show that;

****The sponsor is present and settled in the United Kingdom****, or is to be admitted for settlement at the same time as the applicant arrives in the UK;
The parties to the marriage have met;
The marriage is subsisting and each of the parties intend to live permanently with the other as his/her spouse;
There will be adequate accommodation for the parties and any dependents without recourse to public funds in accommodation which they own or occupy exclusively;
The parties will be able to maintain themselves and any dependents adequately without recourse to public funds

(I got this information from: http://www.britainusa.com/visas/arti...=41000&a=41033)

So. it seems to me that you would be ok if you, as the British spouse/sponsor, were located in the country. It might even make things a little easier.

You need to prove your marriage, (with the marriage certificate)
Prove funds (i.e. that there is money in the UK for you both to live off.)
Accommodations (if with rellies, they want a letter from your host, *and* things like title deeds and such to prove the place exists and it's satisfactory.

There's a lot more to it, but it looks like the British High Commission in Aus has all the same information:
http://bhc.britaus.net/Visas/visadefault.asp?id=41 (see "Settlement in the UK")

And this is the VIsa application form (exactly the same as the one Huz and I are doing right now, so I am pretty sure my info is right)
http://bhc.britaus.net/uploadedFiles/Visas/VAF2.pdf

I am just going through all this myself, and it's really not too bad (I hope I don;t regret saying that!) You'll have plenty of time to get ducks lined up--paperwork, and such.

Good luck!

(oh. And Go 'ome! 5 months will not be too bad, honestly!)

gingajoy

and when I say "go 'ome" I should add do what what's right for you, etc etc etc. Either way, you'll be fine

JAJ

It shouldn't do as long as it's not a lengthy separation that might cause Immigration to think your relationship had ended.

Fleaflyfloflum

Thanks JAJ and especially you gingajoy.

Looks like i'm on my way in a few weeks then!! Yippeeee

My husband cannot come just yet anyway as he hasn't got the visa and would not be able to work. He is by far the biggest wage earner and we cannot do without his money to sort things out.
I will miss him big time as hes the love of my life and my best friend, but as gingajoy said, its only a few short months and might even happen quicker than that.

I have told the kids, both of them as soooo excited they cant wait. They are currently fighting over who is picking me up at the airport (sibling rivalry never dies eh?)

Thanks again for all your help

birdynumnum

Ahhh Flea

Thats just brilliant news (well, apart from Mr. Flea having to stay behind for a bit). You must be sooooo soooooo sooooooooo excited.....I'm so happy for you m'dear
Xxxxx

gingajoy

You're welcome! I am feeling excited on your behalf My own Mum cannot wait to get her hands on the grandkids in a couple of months (we've been torturing her by keeping the only grandkids in the USA for the last 5 yrs;-)) Good luck!