brissybee

Just a passing thought about how easy or difficult it might be to make friends in the UK... say compared to here in Australia?

In middle age (ish ) has anyone built a social network in the UK almost from scratch?

Would love to hear challenges and solutions please.

quoll

Pretty much! I have a few friends from school/uni but they are all over the place so have really had to put myself out there to make new friendships locally. I think I have been jaded by my Aussie experience and so not really that fussed about making a "friend for life" and I enjoy my own company but I have certainly made "going out for coffee" type friendships - it's been quite easy as I knit and there are knitting groups in town pretty much every day of the week - different people seem to go to the different groups. I also go to the gym and have a few people there that I chat to and have coffee with. I chat to a lot of people just casually. Ive found people to be very welcoming - I dont want them living in my pocket so just being able to have a coffee and a chat is all I need.

brissybee

That would pretty well do me too. Thanks for replying.

quoll

No sweat!

It gives you a chance to exercise your humour muscles if nothing else and enjoy a good laugh with people who "get you". You will have to practice the new names for coffee - it took me nearly a year to stop asking for a long black!

dunroving

I have come across the following:
Americano
Black coffee "with milk" (FFS, surely that is a white coffee? But no ....)
Filter coffee

I usually end up saying "I just want a bloody normal, regular COFFEE! With caffeine!"

curleytops

Agreed! Too many choices are not always a good thing, give me plain old COFFEE any day.

J.JsOH

+1
I also just ask for "an ordinary coffee, please, whatever you call it"
I can't be bothered with silly names.

dunroving

And in Starbucks I ask for a "Small", "Medium" or "Large", not this silly Granday, Mucho Granday, and Mucho Granidissmo Biggo Granday, or whatever the silly terms are.

Pistolpete2

I originally discovered Americano coffee at the Costa Coffee stand at the North Terminal Gatwick Arrivals and boy was it welcome after a sleepless night long-haul and prior to a typical long further onwards journey. The key is that it is espresso coffee and does it for me as a regular simply wouldn't, particularly BA breakfast coffee. That coffee (medium) and a pasty (large) from West Cornwall Pasty by the station exit South Terminal and I'm set. Actually we now use espresso coffee (packed in Miami) as our breakfast drink of choice here but use just over half the amount that we would use if it were Maxwell House filter French/Regular.

J.JsOH, I'm still taking on board your tips ref friends and the making thereof:

CAMRA local meetings
Organised public walks
Public transport as a regular

Add, local wine-tasting group?

quoll

They get really confuzzled if you ask for a long black (which is what the Aussies would say). They're generally quite good with the request for pouring cream though.

dunroving

Must say I have found it more difficult to meet and make friends here than in the US (four different places), even after 7 years back here.

The challenge is largely because my job occupies almost every waking hour and I'm just too knackered to be arsed. I pass the time with plenty of people and get on with my work colleagues, but much more superficial and not as rewarding as my relationships with friends in the US were.

When I retire (hopefully early, maybe in 5 years!) I definitely will move from here back to England somewhere so I will be starting all over again, socially, , but hope that having extra time in retirement will make it easier. I'm certainly not anti-social ... and enjoy doing group activities ... when I'm away at conferences I socialise a lot ... just call me Billy No-Mates if you want.

sallysimmons

I have had the opposite experience to dunrovin's. I've just come back from dinner with two sets of close neighbours. They invited us round and shared the cooking between them. They are all very nice and we've agreed to start walking together as we're all into that.

Another neighbour is a handyman and has been doing odd jobs for us.

I lived in the same street in America for 13 years and never even got to know the names of my neighbours.

I've also been welcomed into the local art group, which meets once a week. They're all older than me, but they don't seem to mind me crashing in and have been very kind.

I haven't had a lot of time to make new friends as we have a lot of old ones here, but even so, we seem to have stumbled upon some lovely people

black swan

I have lived in Australia for 40yrs & have always found it difficult to make friends apart from casual friendships.

Ordinary coffee here in Perth is called a Flat White. Was it not the same in Canberra?

Redgal

Me too! Those terms drive me bonkers!

quoll

Yup flat white for white coffee, long black for black coffee in Canberra - not in UK tho - long blacks are Americanos and flat whites are white coffees (or Americano with milk, I think - I never get coffee with milk so dunno, I just fudge it if I'm getting one for someone else LOL)

On the friendship thing - had a text from a friend who just flew back from her month here in UK and we had a hysterical day together in London - she's been in Aus for about 40 years and said she was crying all the way to Heathrow because she hated to say goodbye to all her friends (and family) because she just doesn't have those friendships in Aus (and she's a damned sight more sociable than I am!). She says she's really jealous of me now! We were comparatively recent Aussie friends who, being of similar age and background, thrown together over a disaster, just clicked.