Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Hi Cricket

Thanks for the advice. It helps.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Same situation here - would be easier all round to stay and retire back into the UK, but then I know my kids would settle here in Oz...at least if we go now there's a chance they'll hang around the UK. The big problem is that here in Sydney they have great friends, lifestyle, education etc. I just don't know how they'd cope with the rougher UK elements. And dare we even mention moving back to a Britain about to plunge into the depths of a recession!!!!

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

My kids aged early 20's don't speak to me. Why? Because they wanted me to stay on my own, after my husband left, keep the door open for him because they wanted him to return, they wanted to take control of the money I'd received from my settlement and they hate my new, wonderful husband.
Basically, after so much devastation, I grew from the doormat mum and wife into a very self sufficient person that I am now.

It doesn't hurt that my children don't speak to me, kids usually are quite controlling and manipulative anyway, it's why we bend over backwards. What hurts is that for 20+ years I was an absolutely devoted mother to them both.
Like most mums I made huge sacrifices, went without, gave up opportunities and so i was there for them, I ran a business from home.

Don't give up your life for your kids.They will leave and get their own lives one day. Live your life before it's too late.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

I also meant to say don't aim for happiness when making any big decision which will affect everyone. Just aim for a state of being that's an acceptable way of living for you.
Your children and wider family will probably not like any changes and they may dislike you for a while, that's why it's best not to head of in the direction La La land believing that if you could be happy if only......
It doesn't work like this because often for you to be happy means making someone else unhappy in which case you probably won't feel....... er happy!

Don't even aim for 'happy' at the start, there's too much emotion to go through first. You won't feel happy leaving when everyone thinks you should stay. Doing what's right for you often is a huge compromise. Just make a decision that is right for you, head for the oasis of 'this is OK for now', get through the fallout (disapproval of everyone else), grow in yourself, know yourself then you'll wake up one morning and suddenly feel OK about everything (happiness at last).
It won't be because of which country you live in ;) It will be because you feel OK inside your head.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Crikey cricket, I thought your kids were still in the UK. Surely they'd be happy you'd moved on and away from the deceit of your previous hubby. That must have been an extra kick in the teeth to cope with.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

oh get stuffed. :mad:

You went to the trash and con-man capital of Australia, and you were married to a pig.

Saying typical Aussie men are self opinionated and arrogant because of your bad experience is just silly. There are plenty of decent aussie men, and the gold coast is the last place you would find them.

Keep your silly generalisations to yourself please!

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Ouch, touched a nerve there perhaps?

Of course there are some really lovely Aussie blokes - have been married to one of them myself but even he is far more self centred than I am used to amongst English men (that is not to say that some English blokes are not arrogant pr*cks either!). My SILs says the same of the DH's brothers and they too are lovely chaps, not arrogant and not really opinionated, just somewhat egocentric. None of them are Gold Coasters either!!!!

I, too, have found the generic Aussie male to be somewhat self centred, opinionated and incredibly shallow and I have worked with many over the years and encountered many others in various life paths. Interestingly, when I met my DH my mother was absolutely appalled because she had seen an Alan Whicker expose on Australian men on Panorama and she was genuinely fearful for me - until she met the DH and found that he wasnt an archetypal Aussie booze up merchant. Have been married to him for 35 years on Monday so he is definitely a keeper but I can list on the fingers of one hand other Aussie blokes that I would want to spend more than half an hour with under normal circumstances.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Touched a nerve? well yes, the other poster did pretty much just insult pretty much all Aussie males!

I found it interesting that there was an expose` on Panorama. :blink: I didn't think Aussie blokes on the whole were that bad.

I get the impression you have just met a lot of bogans (same as your "chavs") ?

Still, it still seems a bit rough to tar us all with the same brush. My brother in law is english, and he's a complete wanker... but I don't use him as an example to say all English people are wankers.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Quoll, I've found an intelligent argument a bit lacking too. ;)

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

A big percentage of Aussie blokes do tend to come accross as a bit one eyed and "everything is the best in Oz"
They often expect everyone to adopt their ways which can be a bit on the red neck side, hope when I return to the UK i'm not as rude to foreigners as Aussies are here.
But yes there are a few Aussies who keep both eyes open.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Sounds like you're one of those Aussies deadcat. You see that's my point. You come on the board upset at me expressing an opinion based on my own experiences but you have to insult, swear, get personal and be well, generally rough, rude and crude.

Actually my ex husband was from Sydney and I married him in England.

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

:lol: thank god you are going back to England. Please stay there.

I've seen much worse language on this board than the word 'wanker'. How would you prefer I described him? A "not so wonderful chap, whoem I do not quite see eye to eye with!".

I didn't get personal, I just questioned your post where you happened to massively generalise all Australian males.

Now I see where the whinging pom stereotype comes from. You wanted to whinge about Australian males and generalise, but no one can take offence to that!

Please, please, go back to England, where all men are wonderful and refined... where the air is full of rainbows, and the rivers run with chocolate.

Down here in Australia we are all horrible nasty people, who use nasty curse words and trick poor naive innocent English women like you into moving here.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to insult my coworkers, use curse words, and drink a carton of beer. I think after that I will beat my wife with my club. :thumbsup:

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

Sorry I can't help you, youre far too gone over the edge for me. Besides I'm still in Australia. I thought I'd stay here for a while longer just to give the Aussie blokes hell.

Looks like it's working.:thumbsup:

Re: Main reason for moving back?
 

At least my children don't hate me :thumbup: