Just needing to vent - I seriously need to get out of this terrible country, as the passive-aggressive arrogance is really getting to me! I'm fed up walking on eggshells round them, for fear of offending someone. This is a very lonely country to live in

Unfortunately, I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future, as I'm married to a Canadian. He's willing (read: reluctantly) to move to the UK and we're aiming to go next year for a holiday so he can check it out. I want to get on a plane today and walk away from this place, can't stand it any more!

What is your plan if he moves to the UK with you, and he can't stand the people and the country? Do you have a backup plan?

I am surprised to hear that it is possible to have such strong feelings about Canada.

By all the reports I have seen, and in my own limited experience, it is all a bit blah, and summarized quite nicely in Canada's national exclamation "Eh".

He's a fed employee, so can take leave (need to establish how long, think it's up to 5 years). However, we would need to sell our house here to afford the visa (makes me so mad that we have to pay for a visa, when any Tom, Dick or Harry from the EU can walk on in and get a family permit for their non-EU spouse, grrr!), which would obviously have a huge financial effect on us if we did eventually come back here. However, being here is affecting my health and well-being and I need to get away from it, this is such an unfriendly place for me. After 11 years here, I've come to understand that I'm never going to be accepted, as I'm an immigrant and am different, despite my efforts to fit in(yes, born and bred Canadians, as 'friendly' as those outside the country perceive them to be, do have an 'us' and 'them' mentality towards immigrants.)

It doesn't take living here too long to see the underlying aggression. One only has to read comments on news articles (anonymity gives them bravery to express how they really feel) re immigrants to see where feelings truly lie.

I'm trying to understand what you mean by paying for a visa. How much do you think it is going to cost you? Your husband doesn't actually need a visa to visit the UK.

My husband does need a visa to live in the UK.
We need to apply for a visa on the basis of savings, as I'm a stay-at-home parent and gave up my career to look after my son. The visa process costs a good chunk of change.

OK. You referred to visiting as well as living, so I didn't follow you.

While I'd agree that passive-aggression is common enough in Canadians to be classed as a national trait (and appears to be a job requirement for Air Canada personnel), and despite the fact that I spent 8 years in Canada moaning about how I didn't want to be there, I don't think I'd describe Canada as 'terrible'. Terribly boring yes, terrible climate yes, terrible at tackling climate change yes, terrible denial about the failure to tackle climate change yes, but just terrible? Probably not.

Unless I totally missed your point?

Your child would be entitled to British citizenship, so it would be just your OH visa fee

Do you mean the £1195 visa fee + the £200/year (for 5 years) NHS healthcare fee (whatever it is in Canadian dollars)

https://visa-fees.homeoffice.gov.uk/...settled-person

https://www.gov.uk/healthcare-immigr...ation/overview

The £62500 is the amount required as savings to apply for category A visa, you don't actually have to give that up or to the government - only the visa application fee

https://www.gov.uk/remain-in-uk-family

https://www.gov.uk/government/upload...equirement.pdf

You're contradicting yourself

How long have you been in Canada?

Yes, I am well versed on the financial requirements for the visa. Not sure of your financial situation, but possessing $62K is a lot of money for me, as is the visa fee, as I am a stay-at-home parent with no income.

Given that I am British and lived there for many years since birth and contributed to the economy, it sticks in my craw that my husband has to pay a not inconsiderable sum for a visa, when anyone from the EU can just walk on in the door.

11 years

Enjoy your 12th winter.