3 yrs back still not settled

Old Oct 12th 2020, 8:15 am
  #1  
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Default 3 yrs back still not settled

Hi there,
I am struggling with life back in the UK, 3 years on. We lived in Aus for 9 yrs when parents got ill (they are fine now) and we decided it would be a good idea to move back.
kids then aged 10 & 13 so it was a good time before starting exams etc.
kids have settled no problem but we constantly Pine for our life back in Aus.
we have a good life here we are healthy, nice house, jobs, kids are happy. It’s just not the same, our life in Aus was laid back, enjoyable, great friends, the only thing we missed was extended family.
when we lived there our family came out most years called most weeks, we loved coming back on holidays. People made an effort.
now we are back we rarely see some of them & there is not as much contact. We live v close to my parents but the relationship with my mother is difficult and she makes no effort.
we have tried To make an effort and now question why we are Here, but feel stuck as the kids are at the wrong age to move back.
its really hard to make good friends here. Our old friends we never hear from & I have tried joining clubs to make new ones but this is really hard, I am a friendly person! I really miss my friends in Aus. I prob speak more to them than the ones here.
I know the situation here is not helping as it’s hard to make connections at the moment.
i just question everyday what I am doing here.
i don’t want to regret the decisions we have made but am finding it hard to feel positive.
Thanks for reading my rambling, I just thought people here might understand
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Old Oct 15th 2020, 5:37 pm
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Default Re: 3 yrs back still not settled

Sorry you are having a tough time of it!
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Old Oct 18th 2020, 12:47 am
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Default Re: 3 yrs back still not settled

Hi lainandsam,

Sounds very difficult times, so sorry.

Are you in a city, village, north, south, east or west? How are your neighbors?
Any parents of your children's schoolmates you could strike up some conversation?
Maybe there are some x ausies around who will comiserate with you aboutthe good old days down under.

I asked about your area because that can make a difference. if you moved back to where you originally were from it may be somewhat depressing to find how some things have changed. Your fave shops are now closed, trees gone, an ugly housing developement in your favorite green space. Many things are still the same too which should bring some comfort.

Tell me what the unfriendly clubs you've joined were so when we move back I won't bother to join those ones.☺️

My experiences moving to new countries is that most people have very busy lives with families, jobs and home diy, gardening. Most couples both work and travel times are long as a lot of people have moved out of the cities for more fresh air. Of course Cov19 takes a lot of opportunities away. Have you a favorite pub or anything, is it still open?

Too many questions from me! Take the ones you want and leave the rest.

Oh, and as for moving back after years to family. For us that was a grim failure. I still do not know why. We never fit back in and we just made a life on our own after the fall out. Stayed 10 years, most of them died and we then moved on. Everything turned out for the best after all for us and for them.

True friends are not easily met with, its really early days, I know it sounds a bit glib my saying that. You never know what is around the corner though and another BE member on this thread was near despair around her third year back from the U. States, I think it was, and shortly after that she found herself better off than ever before in her life for having moved back to Scotland.

Really wishing you the best.
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