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Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

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Old Mar 29th 2006, 6:23 pm
  #1  
Nowuno
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed
How is it possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly?

By James Wysong
Travel columnist
Tripso.com
Updated: 8:55 p.m. ET March 28, 2006

Java, Joe, morning juice, black gold, an ex-junkie�s last vice �
whatever you want to call it, coffee has a firm grip on this country�s
morning routine. The proof is in the long lines at the airport coffee
stands every morning.

Coffee is served on airplanes, too, and it might even be supplied by
that familiar purveyor of gourmet coffee from Seattle. Yet, sad to
say, when you start to sip this coffee on an airplane, the only
special taste you experience is that of a compost heap. How is it
possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly? I have several
theories, all grounds for consideration.

1. If the coffee is bad, you won�t want a second cup. I�m not saying
that all flight attendants are looking to lighten their load, but if
the plane is oversold and understaffed, the last thing the flight
attendant wants is extra requests for coffee. So, it�s possible your
crew is not being especially careful about making good coffee and
keeping it fresh. In fact, I see this kind of �benign neglect� all the
time.

2. If the coffee is bad, folks will buy more at the airport. Here�s an
interesting coincidence: The coffee you drink on the plane is often
supplied by the same company that sells it to you in the airport
terminal for $5 dollars a shot. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but if
they sell an inferior blend to the airlines, then travelers might buy
a cup in the terminal instead. Seattle gets the money both ways.
Sounds like a brilliant business model to me.

3. It�s all in the H2O. Many people believe that bad coffee comes from
bad water, and they might be right. It is certainly true that airplane
water doesn�t taste all that great. It is, after all, from the local
municipal water supply, and it�s been sitting in the plane�s water
tank for a while. Bottled water makes much better coffee. If you don�t
believe me, next time you�re in a hotel, pour bottled water into your
room�s coffeemaker. Even those wretched hotel coffee packets can turn
out decent coffee if the water is good.


4. You�re drinking decaf � whether you want it or not. Many flight
attendants brew only decaffeinated coffee. Are they concerned about
your jangled nerves? Not particularly. It�s just that they�d rather
have sleeping passengers than a hyperactive crowd any day. I am not
condoning it; I�m just saying it happens. Did you know that airline
coffee used to be 90% caffeine-free anyway? And did you know that a
few airlines still serve mostly decaffeinated coffee as a matter of
course?

5. The water�s not hot enough. Some people say that airline coffee is
bland because the water doesn�t get hot enough to steep the coffee
properly. This theory doesn�t make much sense to me, as I have been
scalded by hot water plenty of times when I�ve been working in the
galley.

Whatever the reason, most airplane coffee is pretty awful. So, what
can you do about it? Here are some tips.


1. Skip the cart. Don�t drink the coffee from the beverage cart. By
the time it gets to you, the coffee is either cold or stale, and it�s
probably decaffeinated anyway.

2. Make inquiries. Politely ask the flight attendant�s opinion of the
coffee. If he frowns, take the hint. Sometimes he�ll come back with a
fresh pot for you later.

3. Take a stand. Get up and take a walk to the back of the airplane
after the beverage service, and ask for a cup of coffee. The flight
attendants will have time to brew it and you can see that the coffee
is fresh.

4. Tell a fib. If you need a caffeine dose and you are in doubt as to
what is being served, tell the flight attendant that you can�t drink
decaffeinated coffee, and you will get the right stuff.

5. Have some taste. If you don�t take your coffee black, you might
want to bring a favorite flavored creamer with you. Most of the time,
the airlines have only ice-cold 2% milk to offer.

6. Splurge. Buy a cup of coffee before you get on the airplane,
especially if it�s early morning. Your first cup of the day should be
the best � and exactly the way you want it.

7. Spice it up. Add some Irish Cream to your coffee. I�ve never had a
bad Bailey�s Coffee. If you want to skip the booze, there is a
non-alcoholic flavored Bailey�s creamer.

8. Drink tea. There aren�t many ways to foul up a cup of tea.

One more tip. When the flight attendant asks you how you take your
coffee, skip the jokes. We have heard almost every one of them (and
let me tell you, some of them are quite crude).


While I am complaining about coffee matters, whatever happened to the
�drip line� at coffee stands? You know: one line for specialty coffees
and another (much faster) line for straight java. Believe it or not,
there are folks who just want a plain cup of coffee and not some
flaming macchiato nonfat cinnamon decaf latte with extra foam. I�m one
of those simple people, and I have to wait forever in the long line
just to tell the coffee �barista� that I am a drip, and boy, do I feel
like one by that time.

I used to be hooked on coffee. It was what I looked forward to most in
the morning. I couldn�t imagine my life without coffee until I became
seriously ill from something I had eaten in South America. The doctor
told me that I had to take three months off from alcohol (�Easy,� I
mused), fatty foods (�Piece of cake�), and caffeine (�Oh no, he
couldn�t mean � coffee!�) � especially coffee.

Well, after three days of �venti� sized headaches, I broke the
caffeine addiction and turned into one of those decaf freaks that I
used to make fun of. Ah, how the coffee table has turned.

What airline has the best coffee? Which has the worst? Let me know
what you think in Tripso�s online coffee poll.


James Wysong has worked as a flight attendant with two major
international carriers during the past fifteen years. He is the author
of the "The Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet" and "The Air
Traveler's Survival Guide." For more information about James or his
books, please visit his website or e-mail him. Want to sound off about
one of his columns? Try visiting Wysong's forum.
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 6:27 pm
  #2  
Runge
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

very un interesting

"nowuno" <[email protected]> a �crit dans le message de news:
8cnl22pfemebp1oe544km3si99e1tjhpho@news...
    > Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed
    > How is it possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly?
    > By James Wysong
    > Travel columnist
    > Tripso.com
    > Updated: 8:55 p.m. ET March 28, 2006
    > Java, Joe, morning juice, black gold, an ex-junkie's last vice -
    > whatever you want to call it, coffee has a firm grip on this country's
    > morning routine. The proof is in the long lines at the airport coffee
    > stands every morning.
    > Coffee is served on airplanes, too, and it might even be supplied by
    > that familiar purveyor of gourmet coffee from Seattle. Yet, sad to
    > say, when you start to sip this coffee on an airplane, the only
    > special taste you experience is that of a compost heap. How is it
    > possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly? I have several
    > theories, all grounds for consideration.
    > 1. If the coffee is bad, you won't want a second cup. I'm not saying
    > that all flight attendants are looking to lighten their load, but if
    > the plane is oversold and understaffed, the last thing the flight
    > attendant wants is extra requests for coffee. So, it's possible your
    > crew is not being especially careful about making good coffee and
    > keeping it fresh. In fact, I see this kind of "benign neglect" all the
    > time.
    > 2. If the coffee is bad, folks will buy more at the airport. Here's an
    > interesting coincidence: The coffee you drink on the plane is often
    > supplied by the same company that sells it to you in the airport
    > terminal for $5 dollars a shot. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but if
    > they sell an inferior blend to the airlines, then travelers might buy
    > a cup in the terminal instead. Seattle gets the money both ways.
    > Sounds like a brilliant business model to me.
    > 3. It's all in the H2O. Many people believe that bad coffee comes from
    > bad water, and they might be right. It is certainly true that airplane
    > water doesn't taste all that great. It is, after all, from the local
    > municipal water supply, and it's been sitting in the plane's water
    > tank for a while. Bottled water makes much better coffee. If you don't
    > believe me, next time you're in a hotel, pour bottled water into your
    > room's coffeemaker. Even those wretched hotel coffee packets can turn
    > out decent coffee if the water is good.
    > 4. You're drinking decaf - whether you want it or not. Many flight
    > attendants brew only decaffeinated coffee. Are they concerned about
    > your jangled nerves? Not particularly. It's just that they'd rather
    > have sleeping passengers than a hyperactive crowd any day. I am not
    > condoning it; I'm just saying it happens. Did you know that airline
    > coffee used to be 90% caffeine-free anyway? And did you know that a
    > few airlines still serve mostly decaffeinated coffee as a matter of
    > course?
    > 5. The water's not hot enough. Some people say that airline coffee is
    > bland because the water doesn't get hot enough to steep the coffee
    > properly. This theory doesn't make much sense to me, as I have been
    > scalded by hot water plenty of times when I've been working in the
    > galley.
    > Whatever the reason, most airplane coffee is pretty awful. So, what
    > can you do about it? Here are some tips.
    > 1. Skip the cart. Don't drink the coffee from the beverage cart. By
    > the time it gets to you, the coffee is either cold or stale, and it's
    > probably decaffeinated anyway.
    > 2. Make inquiries. Politely ask the flight attendant's opinion of the
    > coffee. If he frowns, take the hint. Sometimes he'll come back with a
    > fresh pot for you later.
    > 3. Take a stand. Get up and take a walk to the back of the airplane
    > after the beverage service, and ask for a cup of coffee. The flight
    > attendants will have time to brew it and you can see that the coffee
    > is fresh.
    > 4. Tell a fib. If you need a caffeine dose and you are in doubt as to
    > what is being served, tell the flight attendant that you can't drink
    > decaffeinated coffee, and you will get the right stuff.
    > 5. Have some taste. If you don't take your coffee black, you might
    > want to bring a favorite flavored creamer with you. Most of the time,
    > the airlines have only ice-cold 2% milk to offer.
    > 6. Splurge. Buy a cup of coffee before you get on the airplane,
    > especially if it's early morning. Your first cup of the day should be
    > the best - and exactly the way you want it.
    > 7. Spice it up. Add some Irish Cream to your coffee. I've never had a
    > bad Bailey's Coffee. If you want to skip the booze, there is a
    > non-alcoholic flavored Bailey's creamer.
    > 8. Drink tea. There aren't many ways to foul up a cup of tea.
    > One more tip. When the flight attendant asks you how you take your
    > coffee, skip the jokes. We have heard almost every one of them (and
    > let me tell you, some of them are quite crude).
    > While I am complaining about coffee matters, whatever happened to the
    > "drip line" at coffee stands? You know: one line for specialty coffees
    > and another (much faster) line for straight java. Believe it or not,
    > there are folks who just want a plain cup of coffee and not some
    > flaming macchiato nonfat cinnamon decaf latte with extra foam. I'm one
    > of those simple people, and I have to wait forever in the long line
    > just to tell the coffee "barista" that I am a drip, and boy, do I feel
    > like one by that time.
    > I used to be hooked on coffee. It was what I looked forward to most in
    > the morning. I couldn't imagine my life without coffee until I became
    > seriously ill from something I had eaten in South America. The doctor
    > told me that I had to take three months off from alcohol ("Easy," I
    > mused), fatty foods ("Piece of cake"), and caffeine ("Oh no, he
    > couldn't mean . coffee!") - especially coffee.
    > Well, after three days of "venti" sized headaches, I broke the
    > caffeine addiction and turned into one of those decaf freaks that I
    > used to make fun of. Ah, how the coffee table has turned.
    > What airline has the best coffee? Which has the worst? Let me know
    > what you think in Tripso's online coffee poll.
    > James Wysong has worked as a flight attendant with two major
    > international carriers during the past fifteen years. He is the author
    > of the "The Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet" and "The Air
    > Traveler's Survival Guide." For more information about James or his
    > books, please visit his website or e-mail him. Want to sound off about
    > one of his columns? Try visiting Wysong's forum.
    >
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 7:03 pm
  #3  
Ensenadajim
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

On Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:27:14 +0200, "Runge" <[email protected]>
wrote:

    >very un interesting

Know it all.

BTW, if the water's bad on board, so will be the tea.


jim

    >"nowuno" <[email protected]> a �crit dans le message de news:
    >8cnl22pfemebp1oe544km3si99e1tjhpho@news...
    >> Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed
    >> How is it possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly?
    >> By James Wysong
    >> Travel columnist
    >> Tripso.com
    >> Updated: 8:55 p.m. ET March 28, 2006
snip
- something the know it all forgot to do


j
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 7:11 pm
  #4  
Butch Burton
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

At least they don't charge for the crap - but just wait - that is
probably next.

Yeah airline passengers used to be coddled - pretty stews - of course
those old Super Constellations were slow-----
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 7:20 pm
  #5  
Jd
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

ensenadajim wrote:

    > On Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:27:14 +0200, "Runge" <[email protected]>
    > wrote:
    >
    >>very un interesting
    >
    > Know it all.
    >
    > BTW, if the water's bad on board, so will be the tea.
    >
    >
    > jim
    >
(snip)

the original post came from the USA I think - and the reason he thinks you
can't screw up tea is that they almost never make tea there that isn't
screwed up anyway, so you don't notice the difference. Mainly because they
simply don't realise you HAVE to make it with boiling water. And yes, tea
is much more sensitive to the water quality than is coffee. Although I
usually prefer tea to coffee, when in the US I always order coffee.

The fact that the cabin altitude is usually around 8000ft means boiling
temperature is lower than at sea level and probably degrades both tea and
coffee in aircraft anyway.
JD
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 7:39 pm
  #6  
Jack Denver
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

You don't have to go back that far. I remember flying 707s (which were just
as fast as modern planes) and being treated like royalty even in coach -
thick steaks on real china and real knives to cut them.


"butch burton" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected] oups.com...
    > At least they don't charge for the crap - but just wait - that is
    > probably next.
    > Yeah airline passengers used to be coddled - pretty stews - of course
    > those old Super Constellations were slow-----
    >
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 8:04 pm
  #7  
Sms
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

nowuno wrote:
    > Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed
    > How is it possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly?

<snip>

Best thing to do is to buy a Nissan JMW-500 or JMQ-400, both leakproof,
and bring your own coffee in your carry-on.

See "http://bicyclecoffeesystems.com"
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 8:21 pm
  #8  
Allan
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

SMS <[email protected]> wrote:

    >nowuno wrote:
    >> Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed
    >> How is it possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly?
    ><snip>
    >Best thing to do is to buy a Nissan JMW-500 or JMQ-400, both leakproof,
    >and bring your own coffee in your carry-on.

Well, let's see:

First airlines did such a poor job or handling checked baggage that
most people now prefer to carry it on.

Then they did away with food, so now passengers have to bring that
too.

Some airlines are now doing away with pillows and blankets, so you
gotta bring those from home too.

On top of that, now we have to bring our own coffee makers as well.

What's next...the microwave?

The predictions made long ago were true: some day we'll all have to
bring the kitchen sink on board too.
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 8:26 pm
  #9  
Sms
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

allan wrote:

    > On top of that, now we have to bring our own coffee makers as well.
    >
    > What's next...the microwave?

You know I wondered about bringing on a 12 volt coffee maker on the
planes that have cigarette lighter sockets (AA) or EmPower (in business
and first class on many airline's larger planes that go international).
A coffee maker may draw too much current though.
 
Old Mar 29th 2006, 10:55 pm
  #10  
Donald Newcomb
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

"nowuno" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:8cnl22pfemebp1oe544km3si99e1tjhpho@news...
    > Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed
    > How is it possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly?

If you think the coffee is bad, you should order a cup of tea. The water is
all run through the coffee maker and comes out a mixture of tea and coffee.
8-P I'm convinced that coffee heavy drinkers believe that everything tastes
like coffee. BTW, I'm not anti-coffee, I just don't like it mixed in my
tea.

--
Donald R. Newcomb
DRNewcomb (at) attglobal (dot) net
 
Old Mar 30th 2006, 12:38 am
  #11  
Mrtravel
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

nowuno wrote:
******************

What a load of crap.

Most people make their coffee from tap water.
 
Old Mar 30th 2006, 12:39 am
  #12  
Mrtravel
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

SMS wrote:

    > nowuno wrote:
    >
    >> Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed How is it possible to screw up a
    >> cup of coffee so badly?
    >
    >
    > <snip>
    >
    > Best thing to do is to buy a Nissan JMW-500 or JMQ-400, both leakproof,
    > and bring your own coffee in your carry-on.

Do they have Infiniti versions?
 
Old Mar 30th 2006, 1:52 am
  #13  
Newsgroup User
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

mrtravel wrote:

    >> Best thing to do is to buy a Nissan JMW-500 or JMQ-400, both
    >> leakproof, and bring your own coffee in your carry-on.
    >
    > Do they have Infiniti versions?
Closest they come is the Retro Tumbler:
http://www.infinitiselections.com/pr...tegory=INFTRVL

However, I always wondered the connection of Nissan thermoses to Nissan
Autos....
 
Old Mar 30th 2006, 2:14 am
  #14  
Maxx
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

mrtravel wrote:
    > nowuno wrote:
    > ******************
    > What a load of crap.
    > Most people make their coffee from tap water.

Maybe most do, but it *is* much better tasting with bottled water.
 
Old Mar 30th 2006, 5:39 am
  #15  
Mike O'Sullivan
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Secrets of Bad Airline Coffee - It's All Decaf!

nowuno wrote:

    > Airline coffee: a bitter cup, indeed
    > How is it possible to screw up a cup of coffee so badly?
    >
I seem to remember reading that everything is going to taste like crap
under a pressurised environment. Some medical reason.
 


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