The Rifleman

"Bigot" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > "Maria" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
    > > <[email protected]> wrote:
    > >
    > > >
    > > >> >
    > > >> >Any other suggestions?
    > > >>
    > > >> Grow some balls and walk like a man
    > > >
    > > >That is something we Brits would respect.
    > > >
    > > >
    > >
    > > What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?
    > Hell no!, he didn't walk he minced:-)))))))
    > Well his real name was Marion .

Magda

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 14:24:24 GMT, in rec.travel.europe, devil <[email protected]>
arranged some electrons, so they looked like this :

... On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 15:55:30 +0200, Magda wrote:
...
... > On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 13:35:30 +0100, in rec.travel.europe, "The Rifleman"
... > <[email protected]> arranged some electrons, so they looked like this :
... >
... >
... > ... > I was watching him on telly at the D-Day remembrance yesterday. He
... > ... > looked like a grinning loon!
... > ...
... > ... He is an inbred grinning loon and so is his shitty son for going to play
... > ... golf instead of going to normandy.
... >
... > William is playing golf ??
...
... Can Billy really play?

The Duke of York is the one in hot water right now, not William !
Rifleman does not know the difference between "brother" and "son", that's all.

Frank White

In article <[email protected]> , [email protected] says...
    >Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
    >a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
    >sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
    >I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
    >anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
    >That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
    >from being a target:
    >1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
    >away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
    >should help keep me out of trouble.
    >2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
    >3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
    >or desperation.
    >4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
    >meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
    >5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
    >6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
    >7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
    >8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
    >coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
    >9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
    >"cigarrette"
    >10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
    >Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
    >little Canadian flag pin.
    >Any other suggestions?

Don't do any of the above. Instead, shave your head, wear
grungy clothes, spill cheap beer all over yourself, talk
REALLY LOUD in an incomprenhsible accent and shout a lot...
And everyone will assume you're just another soccer hooligan
and ignore you.

Except for the police, who may arrest you and beat the snot
out of you on general principles.

FW

BfB

"The Rifleman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > "Maria" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
    > > <[email protected]> wrote:
    > >
    > > >
    > > >> >
    > > >> >Any other suggestions?
    > > >>
    > > >> Grow some balls and walk like a man
    > > >
    > > >That is something we Brits would respect.
    > > >
    > > >
    > >
    > > What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?
    > Nup, Just being honest, truthful proud, decent, law abidding self reliant,
    > straight talking and dignifide just like 99% of americans.
Now, watch out... Europeans aren't to accepting of this behavior.
It makes them look dishonest, sneaky, biased, lying, racist,
money grubbing, and it also makes them smell, really bad.

BfB

BfB

"JohnT" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > "Mike O'sullivan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > >
    > > "Mean Mr Mustard" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > > news:[email protected]...
    > > > Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
    > > > a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
    > > > sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
    > > > I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
    > > > anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
    > > >
    > > > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
    > > > from being a target:
    > > >
    > > > 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
    > > > away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
    > > > should help keep me out of trouble.
    > > > 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
    > > > 3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
    > > > or desperation.
    > > > 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
    > > > meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
    > > > 5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
    > > > 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
    > > > 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
    > > > 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
    > > > coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
    > > > 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
    > > > "cigarrette"
    > > > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
    > > > Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
    > > > little Canadian flag pin.
    > >
    > > 11. Lose 200 pounds
    > > 12. Eat green vegetables openly
    > > 13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.
    > >
    > 14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local
currency.
    > 15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
    > 16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
    > 17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout
"fill
    > the bar".
    > JohnT
18. Get an insert that makes you look as if you have two teeth.

BfB

BfB

"Welsh Witch" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news[email protected] op...
    > On Sat, 05 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
    > > Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
    > > a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
    > > sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
    > > I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
    > > anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
    > >
    > > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
    > > from being a target:
    > >
    > > 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
    > > away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
    > > should help keep me out of trouble.
    > > 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
    > > 3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
    > > or desperation.
    > > 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
    > > meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
    > > 5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
    > > 6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
    > > 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
    > > 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
    > > coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
    > > 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
    > > "cigarrette"
    > > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
    > > Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
    > > little Canadian flag pin.
    > >
    > > Any other suggestions?
    > ************************************************** **********
    > Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
    > in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
    > abroad:-)
    > Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
    > on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
    > would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
    > I think
    > you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
    > people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
    > Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
    > holiday...
    > ***************************
Since the times I first visited Wales, I've never confused it with anything
English.

BfB

Panhandler

In article <[email protected]> , macusr023
@yahoo.com says...
    > Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
    > a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
    > sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
    > I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
    > anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
    >
    > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
    > from being a target:
    >
    > 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
    > away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
    > should help keep me out of trouble.
    > 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
    > 3. Show no emotion =3F No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
    > or desperation.
    > 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business =3F When the business
    > meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
    > 5. No American greetings =3F "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
    > 6. No hand gestures when talking =3F especially no pointing
    > 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
    > 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" =3F Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
    > coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
    > 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
    > "cigarrette"
    > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
    > Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
    > little Canadian flag pin.
    >
    > Any other suggestions?

Put your head into a wood chipper,the transformation is astounding

BWWWWWUUUHHHHHUUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

--
==== This is YOUR Britain ====
=== Don't let THEM steal it from you ===

************ www.bnp.org.uk ************

BfB

"Maria" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, [email protected] (Mean Mr Mustard)
    > wrote:
    > >Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
    > >a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
    > >sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
    > >I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
    > >anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
    > Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
    > tourists?
Ugly sentiments sting American tourists
By Marco R. della Cava, USA TODAY
As an A-list celebrity, actor Vince Vaughn employs an array of weapons to
cope with hecklers, from a Saharan wit to a waiting limo.

But during a movie shoot recently in England, Vaughn found himself
repeatedly reaching for the same comeback. Three totemic words from the
attic of history: the Marshall Plan.

"I'd say one in three conversations wound up the same way, basically that
'America is the devil.' So I'd ask folks to think about the Marshall Plan a
bit and get back to me," says Vaughn, 32, referring to the Allied blueprint
for the reconstruction of Europe after World War II. "In the end, though, I
just had to tell people, 'I'm not having this discussion anymore.' "

But if you're heading overseas, be prepared to have it. Again and again. If
the past 100 years were widely considered the American Century, this new one
is fast shaping up as the Anti-American Century.
http://tinyurl.com/6twj

One of thousands.

BfB

Harold

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 07:11:59 -0400, Turlough <[email protected]>
wrote:

    >Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
    >> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
    >> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
    >> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
    >> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
    >> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
    >> Any other suggestions?

Act poor, and wear stuff that Europeans and Canadians, with their high
taxes and defunct economies, can afford.
    >Wear a ManU t-shirt, and a pair of sandals *with* your socks on. That's
    >all you need. There's plenty of fat, loud talking, rude Europeans about.
    >Oh, and put the t-shirt and sandals on at the airport. There's no sense
    >in grossing out your neighbors and the rest of us, beforehand...

Regards, Harold (Capitalist Pig)
----
The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it.
And one path we shall never choose, and that is
the path of surrender, or submission."
----President John F. Kennedy

Bonita or William F. Kale

Mike O'sullivan wrote:
    > 12. Eat green vegetables openly

Hey! If you mean Brussels sprouts, okay, but we
eat green vegetables that are edible. And my
husband is under the mistaken impression that
Brussels sprouts are edible, too.

    > 13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.

What -does- a middle-class 58 year old woman say?
Toilet? Surely not loo? WC?

In the US, "bathroom" is quite direct and blunt;
most would say, "Can you tell me where the ladies'
room is?" (In a public place--in a house, you'd
say bathroom.)

When my kids were little, the teacher told them to
say lavatory, which I think hilarious, but I geuss
it really means about the same as bathroom.


Bonita

Féachadóir

Wear a maple leaf t-shirt and say 'eh' a lot

--
"Ferr fíor fertaib"
Féachadóir

Stephen Glynn

JohnT wrote:
    > "Mike O'sullivan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    >
<snip>
    >>11. Lose 200 pounds
    >>12. Eat green vegetables openly
    >>13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.
    >
    > 14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local currency.
    > 15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
    > 16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
    > 17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout "fill
    > the bar".
    >
    > JohnT
    >
    >

18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your fork.

Steve

Stuart Grey

[email protected] (Mean Mr Mustard) wrote in
news:[email protected]:

    > Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading
    > to Europe on a business trip this summer. Now my primary
    > concern is just making sure I get through this trip and
    > back to the US safely in one piece. I figure this will be a
    > challenging task with all the reports of anti-American
    > protests and assaults on American tourists.
    >
    > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will
    > prevent me from being a target:

< snip >

    > Any other suggestions?

Yeah. You could do the “land of the free, home of the brave�
thing and be a proud American. You may die, son, but don’t
die in fear.

There are a zillion ways to spot you as an America, from how
you hold your fork, to how you cross your legs. If you stink
of an American deodorant, you’re spotted. The German’s made a
sport of picking out American spies in Europe during WW II.
There are subtle cultural differences that you are not going
to be able to learn in time to blend in well. Don’t even
bother. You’ll stink of fear if you do, and that, more than
anything else, will draw attention to you.

BfB

"Stephen Glynn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > JohnT wrote:
    > > "Mike O'sullivan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > > news:[email protected]...
    > >
    > <snip>
    > >>
    > >>11. Lose 200 pounds
    > >>12. Eat green vegetables openly
    > >>13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.
    > >>
    > >
    > > 14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local
currency.
    > > 15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
    > > 16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
    > > 17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout
"fill
    > > the bar".
    > >
    > > JohnT
    > >
    > >
    > 18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
    > rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
    > the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your fork.
Americans eat like that??? Those effin heathen bastards!!
Hide the children Mary, he's having steak!

BfB

Peter File

    > > 18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
    > > rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
    > > the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your
fork.
    > >
    > Americans eat like that??? Those effin heathen bastards!!
    > Hide the children Mary, he's having steak!

I hope you havn't been watching Deadwood...