Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Brilliant Stokkevn

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Update on the chicken BBQ this evening, this turned into a cheese sandwich for me. Earlier I handed her-in-doors a chicken, a knife and a chopping block, her newly discovered farming expertise seemed to disappear as quickly as it arrived. The chicken was returned to the hutch and the knife and chopping block was used to open a packet of instant noodles. So it looks like we have just gained three new pets that is until I decide that it is time for chicken curry.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

:lol:

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Just seen a headline in a local newspaper "Metro Manila's air quality gets better after Taal ashfall", I wonder what it was like before

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yes all the particles that have been damp have wrapped themselves around the ash particles so dropped down fast and turned into a form of cement rain, i dread to think what it is doing in the lungs!!

Our car has had to be pressure washed to stop the ash cement removing the paint, any attempt at wiping will just scratch and scour. This morning i have been on the roof washing out the gutters which have flowed thick sludge

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

When I lived in Cairo we had a huge sandstorm which about half way through it it started to rain, similar problem with cleaning the cars.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Greetings !

Wasn't sure where to post this, so I will stick it here.

I was in TGP a few days ago and saw a poster advertising a free health check which covers all parts of the body. No blood or tissue is taken. Hmm I thought, I might as well see what my recent traumas are doing to my health.

Pitched up on the allotted day and filled in a form giving basic details. I have gained another kilo btw. Sat down and the lady gave me what looked like a phallic instrument (non-vibrating) and told me to hold it for 2 mins. This was attached to a laptop. There it was supposed to pick up electro magnetic signals from my hand/skin/body or whatever.

I was then told to take a seat next to the doctor and he was handed a 5 yes...5 page report on every function on my body. You name it...its there. Anyway...he went down the list with me and where something was not within the required parameters he prescribed various diets, lifestyle habits , medicines and vitamins. He gave me a list of what I required and suggested I buy them at TGP where this scan was taking place. And there would be extras if I bought them now. I politely declined his offer and took the list home complete with his prescriptions and studied the list in detail. I noticed there was something amiss when my weight was judged to be slightly underweight at the top of the report but buried in page 4 it gave a remedy for my obesity. Also it stated my semen levels were a bit low. Hmmm...I have had the 2 bricks treatment a long time ago.

I checked on the internet concerning the health check and it stated that there was no scientific proof that this type of scan using a phallic object using electro magnetic waves actually works. But some clinics do use it. In fact you can get the software from Lazada for 1899 peso if anyone is interested. A test was done with a wet rag wrapped around said phallic object and indeed gave out a 5 page report.

Now, it is thought that the software only uses your basic details, height, weight and age and from there, the software will randomly spew out a report which pertains to the basic details.

Anyway....basically my report says I am fit as a fiddle. Apart from needing a few spare parts.

Regards

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I was to provide a stool sample at a local hospital for testing a while ago, I was given a 1/2" diameter test tube to provide this sample in. Seeing that one would not go into the other I used a clean coffee cup from the vending machine. The chief nurse was not please and explained in very slow English that the cup was not clean enough and I would have to provide a new sample. I explained to her and the nearest doctor that I snagged as the hospital expected us to drink from it, it had better be clean enough, unless of course they were trying to get more paying customers for food poisoning. The doctor had the good grace to exit quickly while giggling, leaving the chief nurse to explain why they used dirty cups in the vending machine, she then passed this explanation to a junior nurse and quickly followed the doctor. I left the sample with the receptionist and went to a different hospital for the tests.

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Update on the potential chicks/BBQ/curry chickens. Every day a local chicken comes into the garden to feed upon the spilt food from the hens cage, yesterday the dogs cornered it up the side of the house, so I grabbed it and put it in with the 2 females. Later I mentioned to the missus that I thought one of the hens had given birth, she rushed outside and looked in the cage and just for a millisecond she believed me, I think what gave it away was that the new hen is actually bigger than both the others. Still at least I get the whole bed to myself tonight.

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The wife has got fed up cleaning and feeding the three most expensive chickens in the country so yesterday they were packed off to a chicken 'retirement home' along with their feed trays, water bowls and feed. The retirement home is run by her cousin, who I am sure will invite us round this weekend for a beer and to sample what a retired chicken tastes like. Even he tried to explain that if you want chicks you can not keep the cock in one cage and the hens in another but looking at his face I don't think he was getting through.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Today we find out that the cock was a bit more agile than your average retiree cock and has escaped his enclosure, I can only assume that he escaped straight into a 10 litre cooking casserole all by himself, taking a few tasty vegetables with him.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

That's not unique to the Philippines - in the US I have found a number of times that a product can be cheaper per unit if you buy the mid-sized pack over the larger "family size" pack, and that is before considering any offered discount, which typically only applies to the mid-sized pack.

Then there are the recurring "buy X get Y free" offers. There are several recurring heavy discounts on staple foods such as bread, eggs, and cheese, at our local supermarket and so every time the offer comes around we stock up with enough to keep us going until the next time.

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There’s currently a glut of delicious, small-sized Fuji apples in the market at the moment, which we’ve been making great use of. My regular, happy-going market stallholder always tries to keep my business by offering a deal for buying more. The apples are selling for ₱10 each so she offers to give me one free if I buy 10 i.e., 11 for ₱100. Not exactly deal of the century or a 'buy 2 get 1 free deal' but hey, we're in the Ph. This has been going on for the past month and we’re both happy with the arrangement.

This morning, after filling out one bag of eleven, she said that'll be ₱100. Thanks, I say, on this occasion I'll take another 11. “OK sir”, came the reply, “that’ll be ₱110 extra”. I reminded her of our deal to buy 10 and get one free, to which she replied that this was only for 10 apples.

You can see how this was developing. Despite previous experiences (there are times when one just can’t help oneself) I pointed out that the standard procedure in trading (not in Ph as we know) is that the more you buy, the better deal you get. That concept fell on deaf ears so I decided on pointing out the logical mathematical basis, quoting multiples of ten and all that palaver. That failed too so I tried another tact.

What if I come back later and bought another 10, I say, would I get one free? Yes Sir. Great, I reply, how soon can I come back? No answer. What if do some more shopping and come back in 5 mins would that be ok? This created a big laugh followed by No Sir. What about an hour or maybe two hours? No Sir. What about this afternoon? Maybe Sir. We’re getting somewhere so I say, what about tomorrow? Yes Sir, tomorrow’s ok. Thanks …. I reply, you’re very good to me. Welcome Sir.

A week previously her brother was on the stall and sold me 22 apples straight of the bat for ₱200, no questions asked!

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Sure, and that happens in many UK supermarkets too but that wasn’t the case here. All tins were the same size, both packs contained 4 tins and each pack cost ₱239.

Ditto – very common in UK supermarkets and they are usually real promos. But that’s hardly what happened here. The choice of buying a standard 4 pack for ₱239 or a so-called "buy X get Y free" offer consisting of a 3 pack plus one free for ₱239 is not a promo, despite what the check out lady believes.

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One thing that the Philippines is in serious need of is a Costco- and/or Amazon-style retail disruption. The retail markups paid for basic branded items of nearly every description are ridiculous.

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there's a Hugh Costco in Santa Rosa just a few miles south of Manila down the SLEX

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There used to be a Costco in Iloilo but is now called R&S ( or S&R ), but still run on the same basis and with mostly the same products, last time I was there the prices were not that bad and had quite a few things not normally available here.

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I only know Cebu, and am newly acquainted even with that, so it's quite possible I've missed something obvious...?

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You need to be aware of your prices when shopping in the likes of S&R. We were looking at washing machines and had seen one in S&R that caugh my eye. On the next visit a week or two later googled it and a big retailer in Manila had it a few pesos cheaper. Went back earlier this week to buy it and it had gone up 5k, bought it 2k cheaper in SM.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

correction yes S&R same same

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

I will retract my previous statement, the retiree cock has returned to his beloved females and apparently we now have a female sitting on two eggs, so just to recover the outlay, these eggs had better be good as they have cost me nearly P1,400 each. For some reason the wife still thinks this is a good deal.

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Was a sponsor at a friends wedding at the weekend past. Shall avoid another if I can help it, far too much religion and too little reception. Started at 09:00 in the church, 2.5 hrs later we escaped the church to the reception and an hour and a quarter later everyone was heading home having had something to eat, one low alcohol beer and one dance by the bride and groom. During one of the priests longer speeches the scruffy church dog sneaked off behind the font for a shit and then went and sat in front of the alter and started to lick his equipment in it's full glory, during this period a large sparrow type bird shit on the best man while the handing over of the rings was going on. No one else seemed bothered by the animal activities in the church.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

You tell the best stories about life in the Philippines, they always make me chuckle :lol:

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Hmmm. An omen may be?

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The local attention to hygiene is somewhat lax. This morning while passing the abattoir(??) a tricycle came out with a dead pig slit open lying on the floor next to a bucket of blood and another of guts. Going round the corner the pig slide off the floor and under the wheel of the tricycle, he stopped, walked back and grabbed the pig by one leg and dragged it along the gravel track back to the tricycle and continued to the local market, by the time I got to the market the seller was wiping it down with what used to be a white cloth ( many moons ago ) and unable to remove the tyre mark proceeded to chop it up for sale.

Not the only incident like that a few years ago a dog managed to swipe a pork chop from the counter, dog was chased by the owner who recovered the chop, it was wiped down on her sleeve and replaced in amongst the other chops on the counter. Moral of that story is do not buy pork chops from the first row on the counter.

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Just love your stories. Pls keep 'em coming! You should seriously think about some of yours published.
Your wicked humour reminds me somewhat of 'The Misadventures of Mr Badshot', the tales of which never cease to put a huge smile on my face.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Two contrasting stories...not exactly oddities.

Last night coming back home after a swift half at my local, I found that my mobile was missing. Traced my steps back to the sari store where I had got off. Nothing. One of the girls here contacted my local....nothing. I then had visions of having to purchase a new one and then reload all the apps etc. The girls here kept ringing my phone....no answer. And then hallelujah . It was answered after an hour or so by the guy who brought me home on the tricycle. Within 15 minutes he was here and gave me my phone back. Obviously he was rewarded. It just shows there are honest folk about here. Probably worth about 3k at the pawnshop.

A very good friend of mine had her son admitted to hospital last night....and because the hospital was full, they he was put in a bed with two other kids. Each child had one helper around the bed. Because she was with her mother, one of them had to stand outside. And people criticize the NHS...

Regards

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I came across something this weekend that I thought I would never see in the Philippines - someone that SAVED money for something they wanted. She is my wife's niece ( several times removed, I think ) and about 10 years old and is saving for a mobile phone, she has made a 'piggy bank' out of a piece of bamboo which is screwed to the wall of her room. If my wife gives her P100 she will spend P5 on sweets and save the rest.

I have now said that I will cover all her school expenses until she finishes and if she does a degree that will be covered as well. Kids like this should be encouraged here, they are few and far between.

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Things do seem to be done here a bit differently. Speaking with my American friend who had his leg amputated just below the knee a few months ago, he was telling me about the operation, local anesthetic and the surgeon(?) sat on his leg and did the amputation with a B&Q type hacksaw.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

:scaredhair:
I've come over all queer.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Old school.

Assuming the amputation was truly necessary, that's a cheap and effective method. Though personally I'd have asked about nitrous oxide over top of the local, also cheap and effective.

What was the post-op care like? Any complications?

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After care - was sent home after a few days with half a bucket of tablets and creams, I think more luck than judgement there were no complications.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Ooh sit down Frank

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Just seen that the Philippines actually has a law ( RA 9175 ) entitled Act Regulating the Ownership, Possession, Sale, Importation and Use of Chain Saw

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

......and there was at least one arrest:

Violator of RA 9175 and PD 705 Nabbed

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Its been around for a long time, I assume to try and combat illegal logging.

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Be aware, Philippine geckos are after your beer. Years ago I used to see one of the large geckos licking the beer tops I left on the top of the fridge on the veranda, never saw it again after Yolanda went through. Lately when I open a bottle and the cap drops into the catcher a normal sized gecko or two run out but are quickly back in again and last night one actually crawled into my beer glass and was happily supping away. I stupidly tapped the side of the glass and instead of running away it fell in so it and the remaining beer ended up in the garden.

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So they can even judge how drunk you are, and when to provoke you into spilling the whole lot over the side. Brilliant!! :thumbsup:

(j/k of course)

Re: Oddities in the Philippines
 

Not sure where to put this....Oddities or Humorous episodes.

I have a very good friend who was telling me that she had to pay her electricity bill today. Remembering my time before, I told her I can remember having to queue (stand in line) for about half an hour in the blazing sun to pay my bill. She said it was no problem. She gets there early. The place opens at 8.00 and she is there at 7.15. She gets a ticket that she is number 5 in the queue. She is very pleased about that. gets served at 8.25. Now....she had to get up at 5.30 to get the jeepney into town. Got home after waiting for said jeepney at 12.25. When I mentioned that in the UK we do it on line and takes a few minutes.....I sensed that I could have been talking black magic and witchcraft to her.

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I think she rises early anyway and enjoys the early morning ambiance outside. It's cool and you're in a select group of people out at that time.
She feels good as she has got to fifth in the line. I wouldn't go so far as saying they enjoy lining up here but from my observations I don't think they see it as such a pain as we do.