jones1

I have a Filippino boyfriend and are currently living in South East Asia. We are considering moving to his home island of Bohol. We are hoping to buy land and build a property. Does anyone know if this is possible without marrying? I have not yet visited the Island. How safe would it be for a British woman. Are there any other European women out there, married to a Filippino? Any other information would be be great.

paddythepilot

Dear Jones1,

I have sent you a private message, please check.

Good luck.

Astrantia

Hi there! I'm a 20 year old female Brit, I've been living in the Philippines for almost 2 years now with my Filipino fiance. I live in Manila.

Have you ever visited the Philippines? If you haven't I can't recommend enough that you visit for at lest a month before you even consider living or buying property here. Do you know the class of your boyfriend and his financial situation? You should be aware that if he is a lower class or middle class he is quite likely to support his family financially, even when you're married.

I've found living here a bit of a struggle. I think American's probably feel more at home here than Brits. Your boyfriend's class will have a big role to play in your experience here. If he comes from a less Westernized family things could get a little stressful for you at times.

Women are expected to look good ("Kikays", Barbie dolls), wear bras at all time when out (unless you want unwanted stares and harrassing male attention) and well, it's a macho culture out here, men rule and that is fustrating. If your female and past a certain age people will constantly ask why you aren't married. There are Filipina's of the higher classes that fight against it.

If you plan to live life as an average Filipino going to market (which you will have to do in Bohol) can be stressful. You'll have to have your wits about you as people will over charge you for everything because of your skin colour. Beggers will home in on you from a mile off. I've experienced a lot of aggressive begging, even outside of Manila.

You HAVE to be very careful with what you eat and drink, you will not get used to the germs. Your personal hygiene has to be kept in spec, it's easy to get ill out here.

Manila is polluted and it's outlying provinces. The poverty is heartbreaking, and can be quite scary if you get caught out in them areas.

I'm personally constantly gawked at, girls gossip about me and my fiance, people call out for my attention and well...

I'm not saying this will be your experience here, it's just mine as a pale, young British female. But I have to encourage you to visit first. Some people can cope out here, and some cannot. If you are older, not as fairer skinned, of small build and not utterly attractive people won't take as much notice of you.

I don't mean to put you off, that isn't my intention, but I just want you to be aware of what you could expect.

As for the buying property I believe you have to be a resident of the Philippines before you can buy 100% your share.

If you need any more help or advice feel free to contact me :-)

asian_ruby

Hi! im a filipina and just chanced upon this website today and got to read this thread. i have mixed emotions when i read the replies. I feel sad and at the same time surprised that we come across as unfriendly and unaccomodating when we thought all along that we are very much hospitable...hmmm maybe time and other circumstances have really changed our culture. I was also amused with some of the comments becase they are true esp the one pertaining to the pressures of getting married...believe me you just dont know what im going through....hahahah! About the bra thing also...majority of us really wear bras coz as a child we were thought that if you dont wear one your boobs will sag...hahaha! funny but i know a lot of the new generation now are slowly getting liberated. But i know even if some of us are trying to be hip there are still some values that might be hard to change such as our attachments to our family. we are aware that this could be a disadvantage if you are in an interracial relationship. I suggest you talk to your boyfriend about your fears or expectations so that both of you will know your limits. Bohol is a very remote place and you might not have much brit company. I agree with the others that you try to visit the place first.

If you have any questions you might want to know about our people or even my country im very much willing to share my thoughts…be it be the most embarrassing questions. I’ll try my best to answer you. Goodluck!

Astrantia

Goodness no! I never said Filipino's are uhospitable and unfriendly! On the whole Filipino's are very friendly and hospitable (something Brits aren't used to, haha!) I'm just saying how things are from my side of the fence as a British female here, that's all. People do react different to you here if you white, that is the truth I'm afraid.

I hope I didn't offend you!

asian_ruby

oh no..definitely im not offended at all...you are right people react diffrently with white people coz actually we are fascinated by your color..ahahah! im sure you know by now why there are so many whitening products and treatments coming out now. im sorry if i misunderstood your comments...but im sure with good company you'll get to enjoy our country. i advise you to know the language and suprise some people so they'll know they cant fool you...hahahha! nice idea right?

honestly i was hesitant to reply earlier...am i really allowed to be registered here...i really dont know how the users might react.

but just the same, if you need anything to know about our place pls dont hesitate to ask...i hope i could be of help.

Thank you.

Astrantia

Bakit mo naisip na hindi ako marunong mag-Tagalog? Haha! :-) Marami akong kaibigan dito. I've been here a long time now. It's still hard, a lot of people never truely accept me because of my colour and believe I have a lot of money because I'm a "Westerner", and some people think I "owe" them something because I must be rich. Nnagwo-work ako dito, I'm on local wage. Yes it's true that many Filipina's want to be white, which fascinates me, because white people want to be brown! Hehe! I'm also good at cooking Filipino food too! Favorite ko, Ginatang sitaw at kalabasa! But yes, yes Filipino's are very friendly. It's not so much the people that are the problem it's the goverment corruption and the Catholic Church, and lack of Education of some people.

You shouldn't worry how people react, you have a right to your say!

It's nice of you to offer advice! :-)

Redwings

ladies here in the west dye their hair to look blonde. Do you dye your blonde hair black or it is naturally black.

Astrantia

That's a strange, unacurate and off the subject question Not all women in the West dye their hair blonde... not everyone in "West" is Blonde for that matter... and there is more countries in the "West" other than America... with different cultures to America...

But for your curiosity, my hair is naturally light brown and no I don't dye it... since the humidity here turns my hair into a puff ball, dying would make it worse :scared:

Redwings

Would you wander why is it off the subject.

I lived there for a few years in Asia and I had good times in Manila but I like going to places up north (Ilocos). Have you seen those places. Are they getting any better or worse.

Are you enjoying your stay there.

Astrantia

Yes I did wonder why you went off subject in such a manner, maybe with malicious intentions towards my replies, I thought. But then I thought maybe it's just the way you write in English. So which is it? Are you trying to make an unhandled point? Because if so, please just tell me straight, I don't like playing games, ok?

Yes I've been out of Manila. I've been to Zambales and few other places, which were lovely.

As an answer to your question, am enjoying my stay, well, I’m not staying as if I were on an eternal holiday, I live here, so, no, and sometimes I don't enjoy it. I have a lot of cultural differences within my relationship with my fiancé and with the country itself. I try my best to integrate into the local community without losing myself, which is British. It's not an easy ride. But I'm sure expats of different nationalities have the same struggles as I do

I feel a little uncomfortable going of topic about myself in someone else’s thread, so maybe we should take this elsewhere if you wish to continue asking me questions.

Redwings

I guess opening a new thread will be good idea.

I was simply saying that there`s not very much brits living out there. I have a brother in law (american) who is living in Paranaque and there`s much to be said. I guess you`re pretty much into the local culture this time.

I used to be stationed in Hong KOng covering the Asia Pacific region so I made quite a few trips to Manila. I left Hong Kong during the Asian Economic crisis and moved to Canada. Can`t stand much of what I see in Manila so I used to drive 2 hours up north to the beaches of Zambales, Pangasinan and Ilocos.

I lived in West Sussex, England for a couple of years. So I`ve been to squeeky clean places like Hastings, Brighton and Cambridge in your place back in England.

Would you mind is I ask where you live in Pasig.

Astrantia

Ah ok Sorry if I came over a little strong, just wanted to clarify what you meant.

So your Brother In Law lives here I've found that American's have a better time here, feel more at home because everything "Westernized" is generally American. Not that I know how your Brother In Law finds it here.

Yes, Manila is so over-crowded, polluted and well, you know already. Zambales is beautiful (but very hot!)

Ah West Sussex huh? I'm from Kent. I often visited Hastings, I like it there... although locals don't seem to like it much. I miss the cold English salty sea air.

You can ask me where in Pasig... but through private msg

Redwings

Would like me to start another thread for you , better you do it. We can talk a bit more.

I was trying to figure out how could you live in Manila. Can`t even walk outside for safety reasons. Can`t even go to a nice decent pub. I remember going to the Prince of Wales pub in Makati. Is it still there?

I like driving thru Zambales and go around Pangasinan then go up north to Ilocos. takes a few days though. I tried to cross the round from ilocos up to Baguio but I got los. I ended up in a ditch near Mankayan, very scarry.

So, how are mixing up with your fiancee`s folks? Oh, I was trying to imagine a brit talking their local language eating Duguan. Have you tried that dish? There is also a very nice place called Hidden Valley down south. Have you been there?

I used to drive from Brighton to Hastings it is so beautiful and I wish I could go back there to visit.

Astrantia

Ok I'll just reply to this and then I'll make a new thread.

Well, I don't go out very often. I work, stay at home or stay in one of the malls (would you believe I've even had begger kids approach me in Megamall while eating?) in Manila... that's the sad truth. I did venture out on my own before, but it was really scary, the attention and begging I got was aggressive. I rarely go anywhere without my fiance anymore.

Prince of Wales pub in Makati is still there! I haven't been in there yet, would you believe? I have passed it a few times.

My fiance's family, they're ok with me most of the time. His Mum sometimes has weird outbursts. My fiance supports them financially you see, and sometimes she sees me as a threat, and well, yeah. She believes I shouldn't over-rule him, should cook, clean and, well very old fashioned values. I think she tries to understand me, I'm not sure. His Dad is more understanding of me.

Wow scary getting lost. Hope you drove in the daytime only. I don't have a car unfortuately.

As for me speaking Tagalog, I change my accent so I can pronounce things properly. Just like speaking in a Spanish accent actually. I wouldn't speak Tagalog while eating a dead person covered in blood though hehe. Duguan means something like a bloody person, I think what you mean is Dnuguan which is blood stew hehe... and I wouldn't touch that stuff even if you paid me 1 million pound! Haha