Me and My Family
Mar 7th 2021, 1:55 pm
#5206
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Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
I fear you may be right. I think if it had been me I would have disappeared overseas very quickly after it had gone pear shaped before any court cases had been initiated and let WW know I was no longer in the country or likely to come back as xxx was a lovely country to live in. If I liked the Philippines that much, I would quietly return a year later in a different part of the country,
Mar 7th 2021, 4:13 pm
#5207
Banned
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 379
Re: Me and My Family
I have a Criminal case against me and from what I understand the judge determines guilt and sentence or innocence. Monetary compensation does not come into it. The sentence can be imprisonment or a fine ....or both. Monetary compensation is only applicable in in Civil case. In my Criminal case and depending what what you read, I can be sentenced to a mandatory minimum one year in jail and fine up to 300k........or possible jail sentence with a fine of up 300k. The only way she can obtain money from me as maintenance is through a Family Court. She threatened me with this when I first left her. But the Family Court process is for married couples only. Once I found out that she was a bigamist, the threat disappeared.
On a separate note, as to P11's claims that all was perfect till recently; I read through several years of this story in a few days when I first discovered it, and methinks he's wearing rose-tinted specs if he thinks all was dandy. The signs of lying and cheating were all there. Never mind the kids who emerged a couple of years in. And let's be honest, she was probably getting humped by the babyfather/real husband/whoever else on a regular basis throughout.
Mar 8th 2021, 12:00 am
#5209
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,352
Re: Me and My Family
Now I understand the clarifications P11 has made in his recent posts I am now a bit less optimistic about his chances. WW has somehow persuaded prosecutors in her neck of the woods that a criminal case against P11 is in the public interest. Btw if you google it the family court was originally allowed to include cases where the status is other than marriage, But obviously in practice it either never did or has stopped..
This is the time for us to make suggestions and comments which could be helpful, rather than berate P11 for his past behaviour in the relationship.
P11 says WWs motives are solely vindictive, so she can brag about his demise if he is found guilty and maybe sentenced to jail and'or fined. Though Mikek1 5172 says expect the unexpected and, despite what P11 has been told, says there could be a monthly payment ordered. But I do wonder if she might get a cut from any fine the judge orders? That would make my suggestions below useless, so I hope that is not the case.
Mallory 5180 is amazed WW is not prosecuted for bigamy as happens in many other countries, many of which do not hold marriage at such a high level as does the Philippines. Maybe it's just that there would be so many cases or there's no money in it for the lawyers? It would be good if P11 could bring a counter case against her, but that would be difficult and presumably cost a lot of money, even to just start on. However I do still think that the bigamy issue can be made to work for P11.
P11 was so right in not attending the mediation, and not just because of the cost and inconvenience. It was surely not instituted so one party can use it to get a large payment out of someone in return for dropping a case...and one which has been considered by prosecutors to be in the public interest!
So what can he do or at least consider now?
I agree with several posters including Stockkevn 3159, JIngsamichty 5161, Jaygee68 5160 about offer tactics , but all he can do now is to confirm to her "See you in court !", No more negotiations! Standing firm on that will at least signal to her that he thinks he has a strong case and maybe make her think more about what she is doing. Add to that the message that his lawyer will strongly bring up her bigamy at the trial, something which she cannot defend against there. Her bigamy will become common knowledge and expose her as a deceiver and a liar, (since she later signed papers which confirmed she was free to marry), both to the court and locally. That will undermine any claims she makes and greatly weaken her case.
This is the time for us to make suggestions and comments which could be helpful, rather than berate P11 for his past behaviour in the relationship.
P11 says WWs motives are solely vindictive, so she can brag about his demise if he is found guilty and maybe sentenced to jail and'or fined. Though Mikek1 5172 says expect the unexpected and, despite what P11 has been told, says there could be a monthly payment ordered. But I do wonder if she might get a cut from any fine the judge orders? That would make my suggestions below useless, so I hope that is not the case.
Mallory 5180 is amazed WW is not prosecuted for bigamy as happens in many other countries, many of which do not hold marriage at such a high level as does the Philippines. Maybe it's just that there would be so many cases or there's no money in it for the lawyers? It would be good if P11 could bring a counter case against her, but that would be difficult and presumably cost a lot of money, even to just start on. However I do still think that the bigamy issue can be made to work for P11.
P11 was so right in not attending the mediation, and not just because of the cost and inconvenience. It was surely not instituted so one party can use it to get a large payment out of someone in return for dropping a case...and one which has been considered by prosecutors to be in the public interest!
So what can he do or at least consider now?
I agree with several posters including Stockkevn 3159, JIngsamichty 5161, Jaygee68 5160 about offer tactics , but all he can do now is to confirm to her "See you in court !", No more negotiations! Standing firm on that will at least signal to her that he thinks he has a strong case and maybe make her think more about what she is doing. Add to that the message that his lawyer will strongly bring up her bigamy at the trial, something which she cannot defend against there. Her bigamy will become common knowledge and expose her as a deceiver and a liar, (since she later signed papers which confirmed she was free to marry), both to the court and locally. That will undermine any claims she makes and greatly weaken her case.
Mar 8th 2021, 1:15 am
#5210
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2019
Location: Makati
Posts: 116
Re: Me and My Family
BIG LOL.... The vast majority of guys say their girl is different.. till too late they realise they arent. And how could they be different when they all see the same programmes the same youtube posts, the same FB posts ,the same gossip and same stories and they all realise theres a chance they can fool the foreigner . Fortunately though my girl is different..... lol
Mar 8th 2021, 8:00 am
#5211
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,352
Re: Me and My Family
Sadly the previous poster is joining with a number here who want to criticise P11s original idea of making a new personal life for himself ,, but don't offer any suggestions or comments on his predicament now,, other than leave the country permanently. Something he has rejected many times. Some do also wish him well but I think he would appreciate that better on its own.. Though it is helpful to challenge him on what happened and what he did as recorded in this thread.
Then he in 2 recent posts and others have recently pushed their beliefs on the prospects of older Western guys finding a good relationship/marriage here. The point these posters make is laboured. A big Batman comic picture repeated the same day!
I''ve made this point before and I apologise to those who actually read the longer considered posts here who know what I am going to say. But it bears repeating. Some months ago I challenged the idea that the judge P11 will get is likely or very likely to be corrupt, anti Expats marrying Filipina etc. On the same basis I challenge the idea that finding a good lady here is unlikely or even very unlikely.
As with the Philippine judiciary there is no data, surveys etc and therefore one must be very careful not to be misguided by the many Fb posts, forum posts, gossip, friend's stories, Raffy Tulfo's videos on You tube etc. Entertaining as they often are they will just give you a biased view as obviously they are almost always going to be about marriages and relationships that have gone wrong. You don't hear about those that work Ok or very well. They aren't publicised because good news is mostly not what people want to read or hear on any topic and those who are satisfied tend not to be the type who want to talk about or publicise that area of their lives. .
Then he in 2 recent posts and others have recently pushed their beliefs on the prospects of older Western guys finding a good relationship/marriage here. The point these posters make is laboured. A big Batman comic picture repeated the same day!
I''ve made this point before and I apologise to those who actually read the longer considered posts here who know what I am going to say. But it bears repeating. Some months ago I challenged the idea that the judge P11 will get is likely or very likely to be corrupt, anti Expats marrying Filipina etc. On the same basis I challenge the idea that finding a good lady here is unlikely or even very unlikely.
As with the Philippine judiciary there is no data, surveys etc and therefore one must be very careful not to be misguided by the many Fb posts, forum posts, gossip, friend's stories, Raffy Tulfo's videos on You tube etc. Entertaining as they often are they will just give you a biased view as obviously they are almost always going to be about marriages and relationships that have gone wrong. You don't hear about those that work Ok or very well. They aren't publicised because good news is mostly not what people want to read or hear on any topic and those who are satisfied tend not to be the type who want to talk about or publicise that area of their lives. .
Mar 8th 2021, 8:57 am
#5213
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2019
Location: Makati
Posts: 116
Re: Me and My Family
Sadly the previous poster is joining with a number here who want to criticise P11s original idea of making a new personal life for himself ,, but don't offer any suggestions or comments on his predicament now,, other than leave the country permanently. Something he has rejected many times. Some do also wish him well but I think he would appreciate that better on its own.. Though it is helpful to challenge him on what happened and what he did as recorded in this thread.
!
. But it bears repeating. Some months ago I challenged the idea that the judge P11 will get is likely or very likely to be corrupt, anti Expats marrying Filipina etc. On the same basis I challenge the idea that finding a good lady here is unlikely or even very unlikely.
. They aren't publicised because good news is mostly not what people want to read or hear on any topic and those who are satisfied tend not to be the type who want to talk about or publicise that area of their lives. .
!
. But it bears repeating. Some months ago I challenged the idea that the judge P11 will get is likely or very likely to be corrupt, anti Expats marrying Filipina etc. On the same basis I challenge the idea that finding a good lady here is unlikely or even very unlikely.
. They aren't publicised because good news is mostly not what people want to read or hear on any topic and those who are satisfied tend not to be the type who want to talk about or publicise that area of their lives. .
As for judges, once upon a time I was working in Manila, running a large business.....some employees wanted to form a union, some didnt. It became a legal case and a judge was assigned.
Through our lawyers the judge delivered a message that for P 1 million he would deliver a verdict in our favour. After the case was resolved, the KMU union , who were the other "side" in this case disclosed that the same judge had offered them P 1.5 million to rule in their favour. Personal experience perhaps proves more than anecdotes diba.
None of this has much to do with Phil11. Except for the fact that hes dealing with a lawyer he thinks he can trust who will be dealing with a judge who may or not be fair.
Remember the recent case of ex Sen Trillanes. In that case a good judge made a brave bold decision. Fair judgements do occur but so does the " hoodlum in robes" comment made by an ex member of supreme court.
Phil11 really needs a plan rather than sitting waiting for things to happen. Hes a tad stuck given covid, given his cases and given a distinct lack of funds. A perfect storm of problems. Hubble bubble toil and trouble etc. I personally think hes in a big hole and cant even begin to offer a solution that isnt going to have a ramification on his future, given the confluence of situations hes in. So its all very well stating people are negative and not offering help....when in fact its hard to see what help can be offered other than to suggest he tries to leave.. .anywhere is better than the country he, I and you are in at the moment.
Mar 8th 2021, 9:07 am
#5214
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,863
Re: Me and My Family
Sadly the previous poster is joining with a number here who want to criticise P11s original idea of making a new personal life for himself ,, but don't offer any suggestions or comments on his predicament now,, other than leave the country permanently. Something he has rejected many times. Some do also wish him well but I think he would appreciate that better on its own.. Though it is helpful to challenge him on what happened and what he did as recorded in this thread.
Then he in 2 recent posts and others have recently pushed their beliefs on the prospects of older Western guys finding a good relationship/marriage here. The point these posters make is laboured. A big Batman comic picture repeated the same day!
I''ve made this point before and I apologise to those who actually read the longer considered posts here who know what I am going to say. But it bears repeating. Some months ago I challenged the idea that the judge P11 will get is likely or very likely to be corrupt, anti Expats marrying Filipina etc. On the same basis I challenge the idea that finding a good lady here is unlikely or even very unlikely.
As with the Philippine judiciary there is no data, surveys etc and therefore one must be very careful not to be misguided by the many Fb posts, forum posts, gossip, friend's stories, Raffy Tulfo's videos on You tube etc. Entertaining as they often are they will just give you a biased view as obviously they are almost always going to be about marriages and relationships that have gone wrong. You don't hear about those that work Ok or very well. They aren't publicised because good news is mostly not what people want to read or hear on any topic and those who are satisfied tend not to be the type who want to talk about or publicise that area of their lives. .
Then he in 2 recent posts and others have recently pushed their beliefs on the prospects of older Western guys finding a good relationship/marriage here. The point these posters make is laboured. A big Batman comic picture repeated the same day!
I''ve made this point before and I apologise to those who actually read the longer considered posts here who know what I am going to say. But it bears repeating. Some months ago I challenged the idea that the judge P11 will get is likely or very likely to be corrupt, anti Expats marrying Filipina etc. On the same basis I challenge the idea that finding a good lady here is unlikely or even very unlikely.
As with the Philippine judiciary there is no data, surveys etc and therefore one must be very careful not to be misguided by the many Fb posts, forum posts, gossip, friend's stories, Raffy Tulfo's videos on You tube etc. Entertaining as they often are they will just give you a biased view as obviously they are almost always going to be about marriages and relationships that have gone wrong. You don't hear about those that work Ok or very well. They aren't publicised because good news is mostly not what people want to read or hear on any topic and those who are satisfied tend not to be the type who want to talk about or publicise that area of their lives. .
Don't read too much into it.
Mar 8th 2021, 10:44 am
#5217
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings.....
Thanks for your comments and interest again. I will try respond to them tomorrow. But I will say this, I welcome all comments if they are constructive, and that is one reason why I sit up and take notice of anything from Raffin..
Now breaking news.......
Long story short..... I have had a message from a woman who is the landlady of my ex. My ex is living in the "little big city" in a sub division with her PNP bf. She owes 40k in rent (5 months). She stated that my ex was involved in a tricycle accident (pictures on fb) and cannot pay the arrears. She thinks that is a fabricated story.....just another excuse. She sent me a message purporting to be me.....that I will pay the arrears. But it was from an account from her American friend who added my name as his middle name. The landlady is desperate for her 40k and states that she was told by my ex that I am now in Germany. And will pay soon the arrears under the guise of this American friend. I told her that I will help her with all the information she needs on one condition......she finds out the name of the PNP bf and her American friend. She hopes to find that out from the gate guard tomorrow.
I should remind you that my ex made overtures of a reconciliation,,,,,about 5 months ago. Also prior to that, for 5 months she was paying on time.
Once I have that information, I need to think carefully how I use that information.
Regards
Thanks for your comments and interest again. I will try respond to them tomorrow. But I will say this, I welcome all comments if they are constructive, and that is one reason why I sit up and take notice of anything from Raffin..
Now breaking news.......
Long story short..... I have had a message from a woman who is the landlady of my ex. My ex is living in the "little big city" in a sub division with her PNP bf. She owes 40k in rent (5 months). She stated that my ex was involved in a tricycle accident (pictures on fb) and cannot pay the arrears. She thinks that is a fabricated story.....just another excuse. She sent me a message purporting to be me.....that I will pay the arrears. But it was from an account from her American friend who added my name as his middle name. The landlady is desperate for her 40k and states that she was told by my ex that I am now in Germany. And will pay soon the arrears under the guise of this American friend. I told her that I will help her with all the information she needs on one condition......she finds out the name of the PNP bf and her American friend. She hopes to find that out from the gate guard tomorrow.
I should remind you that my ex made overtures of a reconciliation,,,,,about 5 months ago. Also prior to that, for 5 months she was paying on time.
Once I have that information, I need to think carefully how I use that information.
Regards
Last edited by Philosophical 11; Mar 8th 2021 at 10:58 am.
Mar 8th 2021, 12:09 pm
#5218
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 288
Re: Me and My Family
A photo of the Filipino BF might be useful, he may have been seen in the background of previous meetings with the wife, or even passed off as a family member, because it is important to the natives to make sure that foreigners lose all face - this is actually a weakness if you know how to exploit it.
Mar 8th 2021, 8:44 pm
#5219
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,352
Re: Me and My Family
I suggest you're getting things a bit out of proportion. The big picture here is that the OP of this thread is facing a criminal trial.
Mar 8th 2021, 11:37 pm
#5220
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,352
Re: Me and My Family
Yes there are good and enduring marriages as in many countries. But there are also a large number of marriages that dont work due to both parties being "mismatched"..There are no figures so who knows whether its a high or low number but in all these cases a gent is invariably taken to the cleaners. No difference in mismatched relationships in Thailand either. You are free to dispute as you have done and equally I am free to state my opinion. Perhaps your glass is half full and mine half empty. Who knows....
As for judges, once upon a time I was working in Manila, running a large business.....some employees wanted to form a union, some didnt. It became a legal case and a judge was assigned.
Through our lawyers the judge delivered a message that for P 1 million he would deliver a verdict in our favour. After the case was resolved, the KMU union , who were the other "side" in this case disclosed that the same judge had offered them P 1.5 million to rule in their favour. Personal experience perhaps proves more than anecdotes diba.
None of this has much to do with Phil11. Except for the fact that hes dealing with a lawyer he thinks he can trust who will be dealing with a judge who may or not be fair.
Remember the recent case of ex Sen Trillanes. In that case a good judge made a brave bold decision. Fair judgements do occur but so does the " hoodlum in robes" comment made by an ex member of supreme court.
Phil11 really needs a plan rather than sitting waiting for things to happen. Hes a tad stuck given covid, given his cases and given a distinct lack of funds. A perfect storm of problems. Hubble bubble toil and trouble etc. I personally think hes in a big hole and cant even begin to offer a solution that isnt going to have a ramification on his future, given the confluence of situations hes in. So its all very well stating people are negative and not offering help....when in fact its hard to see what help can be offered other than to suggest he tries to leave.. .anywhere is better than the country he, I and you are in at the moment.
As for judges, once upon a time I was working in Manila, running a large business.....some employees wanted to form a union, some didnt. It became a legal case and a judge was assigned.
Through our lawyers the judge delivered a message that for P 1 million he would deliver a verdict in our favour. After the case was resolved, the KMU union , who were the other "side" in this case disclosed that the same judge had offered them P 1.5 million to rule in their favour. Personal experience perhaps proves more than anecdotes diba.
None of this has much to do with Phil11. Except for the fact that hes dealing with a lawyer he thinks he can trust who will be dealing with a judge who may or not be fair.
Remember the recent case of ex Sen Trillanes. In that case a good judge made a brave bold decision. Fair judgements do occur but so does the " hoodlum in robes" comment made by an ex member of supreme court.
Phil11 really needs a plan rather than sitting waiting for things to happen. Hes a tad stuck given covid, given his cases and given a distinct lack of funds. A perfect storm of problems. Hubble bubble toil and trouble etc. I personally think hes in a big hole and cant even begin to offer a solution that isnt going to have a ramification on his future, given the confluence of situations hes in. So its all very well stating people are negative and not offering help....when in fact its hard to see what help can be offered other than to suggest he tries to leave.. .anywhere is better than the country he, I and you are in at the moment.
Yes, it is hard to see what P11 can do to improve his chances, but on the question of permanently leaving the country I think you and some other posters should stop hammering a nail that's already well in. Don't be kulit, he's decided that following your advice borders on the impossible for him and he believes he has a good case with the chance of large a large fine and imprisonment fairly low. The case has not progressed far, things can change and he has time to adjust his tactics and strategy. Especially as new information can surface, as it has just done. So better for all of us to put our minds on that.