Me and My Family
Oct 6th 2018, 1:27 pm
#1787
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings,
I thought I would take into account the comments thus far before I post again as promised.
I have many ex-pat friends here and one in particular who has confided in me the problems his wife has and still is going through with her family. They are leeches. He has watched her go through many battles with her family and its taken a great toll on her. They have since moved some time ago.....but it still goes on. The family ties as you all know are something else here and she....like my wife are finding it very difficult. That is an understatement. But this guys wife has not severed ties with her family ....or they with her. My wife appears to have. It has taken a toll on her and its sad to see. Move? Yup....I am thinking about it for various reasons. Better internet where I can earn money by on-line teaching. She can get a job in the big city where she can take her mind off her family. Also to help the finances.
Regards
I thought I would take into account the comments thus far before I post again as promised.
I have many ex-pat friends here and one in particular who has confided in me the problems his wife has and still is going through with her family. They are leeches. He has watched her go through many battles with her family and its taken a great toll on her. They have since moved some time ago.....but it still goes on. The family ties as you all know are something else here and she....like my wife are finding it very difficult. That is an understatement. But this guys wife has not severed ties with her family ....or they with her. My wife appears to have. It has taken a toll on her and its sad to see. Move? Yup....I am thinking about it for various reasons. Better internet where I can earn money by on-line teaching. She can get a job in the big city where she can take her mind off her family. Also to help the finances.
Regards
Oct 7th 2018, 4:46 am
#1788
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings,
As promised, I will share with you the traumas that occurred just two days BEFORE the wedding. This is the first part....another one to follow and then a follow up. Stress affects people in many different ways.....trying to deal with it can be stressful also. This is cut and pasted from an e.mail so the first few paras may not be new.....I didn't want to re-write it....being a bit lazy I guess, but mainly because its painful to re-type.
*******I think it will be fair to say that the events leading up to "The Big Day" have been stressful, not just for me but for her. The events on the final day or so have been perhaps the most traumatic of my life. I have tried to keep ....long story short.
As promised, I will share with you the traumas that occurred just two days BEFORE the wedding. This is the first part....another one to follow and then a follow up. Stress affects people in many different ways.....trying to deal with it can be stressful also. This is cut and pasted from an e.mail so the first few paras may not be new.....I didn't want to re-write it....being a bit lazy I guess, but mainly because its painful to re-type.
*******I think it will be fair to say that the events leading up to "The Big Day" have been stressful, not just for me but for her. The events on the final day or so have been perhaps the most traumatic of my life. I have tried to keep ....long story short.
It all started when we announced the date of the marriage a few months ago. For her, it was the stress of wanting everything just perfect and fortunately our wedding manager and her stylist (both ladyboys) both became our good friends and took the brunt of her worries and anxieties. They became her rock. But for me.....the rumours, lies and innuendos came flooding in from various sources grave me grave doubts.First, I started receiving anonymous messages that she had a secret bf. It then came from other sources (ex-pats) and the rumours started to swell. But no-one could give me any evidence which I could use to confront her. I suspect it started from a green-eyed monster or an enemy of her family who has been causing many problems for them. Some one wanted to destroy our relationship.
A few months ago, she kicked her elder sister out of the little house we have here after a family money dispute. She can be very ruthless. This prompted a couple of FB posts by the elder sister that she cannot keep her secret for ever and she is a traitor. This was in English...for me to see. She did not turn up for the wedding nor did her brothers. Then rumours came in that she has a third child....and she was already married. I kept this crap from her because she was already stressing with wedding arrangements. None of the stories appear to have any foundation. I was warned by various sources to run a mile but many more to ignore the rumours....which I did. But my eyes and ears were kept open. I then received an invite from her former partner....the father of her two boys to meet him who would verify that she was married to someone else. He wanted to marry her, but couldn't because she was already married....according to her. I turned down the offer of the meeting fearing it could be a trap....knowing that being seen with him will compromise me. She hates him.
.I think I mentioned that there was an attempted hacking of my UK bank account when I was in Malaysia. Couple of weeks ago, my ATM card for my Phils bank went missing/lost/stolen and 10k was taken. I am the only one who knows the pin. I saw the CCTV recording and the bank manager thought the card used was a different colour to mine. Suggesting a clone. However, the thief if he was professional would know he could have withdrawn 20k in two pulls. However, rumour control has it that her family is 10k better off. A police friend of hers warned that I should not report it to the police. He said something similar happened not too far away from here and the victim....an Indian foreigner reported it to the police and was shot dead the next day. I figured my life was not worth risking.Her pawning appears to have stopped and so has her On Line Jewelry Business. She appears to have no more gold left bar her engagement and wedding ring. Normally she wears a lot of gold rings on her fingers and jewelry around her neck. That appears to have gone. No idea what the money was used for....or maybe she stashed them away somewhere different. I suspect that mystery will unfold in the not too distant future.Filipinas have many qualities. Mostly good. However, all are temperamental and hers is probably worse than most. During the past few months, she has called our engagement off a few times over minor issues. The first time she told me to call off the wedding, I called her bluff and did just that. That was a wake up call for her. Then she did it twice 48 hrs before our wedding, then it was I who got the wake-up call.
. It was over money about 48hrs before the wedding. She is overspending her allowance and recently purchased a brand new scooter on HP. She cannot afford it and consequently asking for advances from her next months allowance. I have told her firmly that she needs to watch her budget and on this occasion she went off in a huff.....even though I agreed the advance. After she left the house, she sent me a text to cancel the wedding. I gave her an ultimatum by a certain time. That passed. I offered a small increase in her allowance with an ultimatum. That also passed with no reply. I notified everyone involved that the wedding was cancelled at this late stage. She came in later that night and apologized for her attitude....guess she was surprised I called her bluff. This time I played hard ball having had enough of this crap and after a lot of tears...she made a lunge for the kitchen. Thought she was going to smash a few plates as before or whatever and went after her. She came out with a large kitchen knife and threatened to kill herself. I managed to get the knife off her and long story short....the wedding was back on again. Next morning, I msg'd everyone to say that it was back on......and then, she found out what I had given as the reason for the cancellation. Money. She flipped again saying she could not face a wedding being seen as a gold digger and told to cancel again. Again....lots of tears and got hold of the knife again and made for the bathroom. I managed to get the knife off her. After an hour....she calmed down and relented. Now during this time and other occasions over the years, she is advised by her best friend and they msg a lot. Basically she calms her down, tells her she is being stupid and thankfully she listens. Her best friend is a partner of an ex-pat...a very good friend of mine and he tells me how much time she spends messaging her with good advice. If it wasn't for her....the relationship would never have lasted. The wedding was back on again....I am glad I waited that hour.Everything I have written are the bare bones for the sake of brevity. I will tell you how the day went in the next day or so. The pics may tell all....but not the drama she had at the start of the day.....nor the question mark that remains. *************
Regards
A few months ago, she kicked her elder sister out of the little house we have here after a family money dispute. She can be very ruthless. This prompted a couple of FB posts by the elder sister that she cannot keep her secret for ever and she is a traitor. This was in English...for me to see. She did not turn up for the wedding nor did her brothers. Then rumours came in that she has a third child....and she was already married. I kept this crap from her because she was already stressing with wedding arrangements. None of the stories appear to have any foundation. I was warned by various sources to run a mile but many more to ignore the rumours....which I did. But my eyes and ears were kept open. I then received an invite from her former partner....the father of her two boys to meet him who would verify that she was married to someone else. He wanted to marry her, but couldn't because she was already married....according to her. I turned down the offer of the meeting fearing it could be a trap....knowing that being seen with him will compromise me. She hates him.
.I think I mentioned that there was an attempted hacking of my UK bank account when I was in Malaysia. Couple of weeks ago, my ATM card for my Phils bank went missing/lost/stolen and 10k was taken. I am the only one who knows the pin. I saw the CCTV recording and the bank manager thought the card used was a different colour to mine. Suggesting a clone. However, the thief if he was professional would know he could have withdrawn 20k in two pulls. However, rumour control has it that her family is 10k better off. A police friend of hers warned that I should not report it to the police. He said something similar happened not too far away from here and the victim....an Indian foreigner reported it to the police and was shot dead the next day. I figured my life was not worth risking.Her pawning appears to have stopped and so has her On Line Jewelry Business. She appears to have no more gold left bar her engagement and wedding ring. Normally she wears a lot of gold rings on her fingers and jewelry around her neck. That appears to have gone. No idea what the money was used for....or maybe she stashed them away somewhere different. I suspect that mystery will unfold in the not too distant future.Filipinas have many qualities. Mostly good. However, all are temperamental and hers is probably worse than most. During the past few months, she has called our engagement off a few times over minor issues. The first time she told me to call off the wedding, I called her bluff and did just that. That was a wake up call for her. Then she did it twice 48 hrs before our wedding, then it was I who got the wake-up call.
. It was over money about 48hrs before the wedding. She is overspending her allowance and recently purchased a brand new scooter on HP. She cannot afford it and consequently asking for advances from her next months allowance. I have told her firmly that she needs to watch her budget and on this occasion she went off in a huff.....even though I agreed the advance. After she left the house, she sent me a text to cancel the wedding. I gave her an ultimatum by a certain time. That passed. I offered a small increase in her allowance with an ultimatum. That also passed with no reply. I notified everyone involved that the wedding was cancelled at this late stage. She came in later that night and apologized for her attitude....guess she was surprised I called her bluff. This time I played hard ball having had enough of this crap and after a lot of tears...she made a lunge for the kitchen. Thought she was going to smash a few plates as before or whatever and went after her. She came out with a large kitchen knife and threatened to kill herself. I managed to get the knife off her and long story short....the wedding was back on again. Next morning, I msg'd everyone to say that it was back on......and then, she found out what I had given as the reason for the cancellation. Money. She flipped again saying she could not face a wedding being seen as a gold digger and told to cancel again. Again....lots of tears and got hold of the knife again and made for the bathroom. I managed to get the knife off her. After an hour....she calmed down and relented. Now during this time and other occasions over the years, she is advised by her best friend and they msg a lot. Basically she calms her down, tells her she is being stupid and thankfully she listens. Her best friend is a partner of an ex-pat...a very good friend of mine and he tells me how much time she spends messaging her with good advice. If it wasn't for her....the relationship would never have lasted. The wedding was back on again....I am glad I waited that hour.Everything I have written are the bare bones for the sake of brevity. I will tell you how the day went in the next day or so. The pics may tell all....but not the drama she had at the start of the day.....nor the question mark that remains. *************
Regards
Last edited by Philosophical 11; Oct 7th 2018 at 4:51 am.
Oct 7th 2018, 5:49 am
#1789
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: Me and My Family
Good. ****ing. God.
I've really enjoyed reading your thread and have always quietly rooted for you and hoped it works out because you seem such a top guy. I still do hope it works out but holy hell the amount of warning signs and alarms bells in the last paragraph alone would have made me pack my bags and run without looking back.
I honestly wish you the best of luck, I think you're in for a wild ride.
I've really enjoyed reading your thread and have always quietly rooted for you and hoped it works out because you seem such a top guy. I still do hope it works out but holy hell the amount of warning signs and alarms bells in the last paragraph alone would have made me pack my bags and run without looking back.
I honestly wish you the best of luck, I think you're in for a wild ride.
Oct 7th 2018, 7:22 am
#1790
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings,
As promised, I will share with you the traumas that occurred just two days BEFORE the wedding. This is the first part....another one to follow and then a follow up. Stress affects people in many different ways.....trying to deal with it can be stressful also. This is cut and pasted from an e.mail so the first few paras may not be new.....I didn't want to re-write it....being a bit lazy I guess, but mainly because its painful to re-type.
*******I think it will be fair to say that the events leading up to "The Big Day" have been stressful, not just for me but for her. The events on the final day or so have been perhaps the most traumatic of my life. I have tried to keep ....long story short.
As promised, I will share with you the traumas that occurred just two days BEFORE the wedding. This is the first part....another one to follow and then a follow up. Stress affects people in many different ways.....trying to deal with it can be stressful also. This is cut and pasted from an e.mail so the first few paras may not be new.....I didn't want to re-write it....being a bit lazy I guess, but mainly because its painful to re-type.
*******I think it will be fair to say that the events leading up to "The Big Day" have been stressful, not just for me but for her. The events on the final day or so have been perhaps the most traumatic of my life. I have tried to keep ....long story short.
It all started when we announced the date of the marriage a few months ago. For her, it was the stress of wanting everything just perfect and fortunately our wedding manager and her stylist (both ladyboys) both became our good friends and took the brunt of her worries and anxieties. They became her rock. But for me.....the rumours, lies and innuendos came flooding in from various sources grave me grave doubts.First, I started receiving anonymous messages that she had a secret bf. It then came from other sources (ex-pats) and the rumours started to swell. But no-one could give me any evidence which I could use to confront her. I suspect it started from a green-eyed monster or an enemy of her family who has been causing many problems for them. Some one wanted to destroy our relationship.
A few months ago, she kicked her elder sister out of the little house we have here after a family money dispute. She can be very ruthless. This prompted a couple of FB posts by the elder sister that she cannot keep her secret for ever and she is a traitor. This was in English...for me to see. She did not turn up for the wedding nor did her brothers. Then rumours came in that she has a third child....and she was already married. I kept this crap from her because she was already stressing with wedding arrangements. None of the stories appear to have any foundation. I was warned by various sources to run a mile but many more to ignore the rumours....which I did. But my eyes and ears were kept open. I then received an invite from her former partner....the father of her two boys to meet him who would verify that she was married to someone else. He wanted to marry her, but couldn't because she was already married....according to her. I turned down the offer of the meeting fearing it could be a trap....knowing that being seen with him will compromise me. She hates him.
.I think I mentioned that there was an attempted hacking of my UK bank account when I was in Malaysia. Couple of weeks ago, my ATM card for my Phils bank went missing/lost/stolen and 10k was taken. I am the only one who knows the pin. I saw the CCTV recording and the bank manager thought the card used was a different colour to mine. Suggesting a clone. However, the thief if he was professional would know he could have withdrawn 20k in two pulls. However, rumour control has it that her family is 10k better off. A police friend of hers warned that I should not report it to the police. He said something similar happened not too far away from here and the victim....an Indian foreigner reported it to the police and was shot dead the next day. I figured my life was not worth risking.Her pawning appears to have stopped and so has her On Line Jewelry Business. She appears to have no more gold left bar her engagement and wedding ring. Normally she wears a lot of gold rings on her fingers and jewelry around her neck. That appears to have gone. No idea what the money was used for....or maybe she stashed them away somewhere different. I suspect that mystery will unfold in the not too distant future.Filipinas have many qualities. Mostly good. However, all are temperamental and hers is probably worse than most. During the past few months, she has called our engagement off a few times over minor issues. The first time she told me to call off the wedding, I called her bluff and did just that. That was a wake up call for her. Then she did it twice 48 hrs before our wedding, then it was I who got the wake-up call.
. It was over money about 48hrs before the wedding. She is overspending her allowance and recently purchased a brand new scooter on HP. She cannot afford it and consequently asking for advances from her next months allowance. I have told her firmly that she needs to watch her budget and on this occasion she went off in a huff.....even though I agreed the advance. After she left the house, she sent me a text to cancel the wedding. I gave her an ultimatum by a certain time. That passed. I offered a small increase in her allowance with an ultimatum. That also passed with no reply. I notified everyone involved that the wedding was cancelled at this late stage. She came in later that night and apologized for her attitude....guess she was surprised I called her bluff. This time I played hard ball having had enough of this crap and after a lot of tears...she made a lunge for the kitchen. Thought she was going to smash a few plates as before or whatever and went after her. She came out with a large kitchen knife and threatened to kill herself. I managed to get the knife off her and long story short....the wedding was back on again. Next morning, I msg'd everyone to say that it was back on......and then, she found out what I had given as the reason for the cancellation. Money. She flipped again saying she could not face a wedding being seen as a gold digger and told to cancel again. Again....lots of tears and got hold of the knife again and made for the bathroom. I managed to get the knife off her. After an hour....she calmed down and relented. Now during this time and other occasions over the years, she is advised by her best friend and they msg a lot. Basically she calms her down, tells her she is being stupid and thankfully she listens. Her best friend is a partner of an ex-pat...a very good friend of mine and he tells me how much time she spends messaging her with good advice. If it wasn't for her....the relationship would never have lasted. The wedding was back on again....I am glad I waited that hour.Everything I have written are the bare bones for the sake of brevity. I will tell you how the day went in the next day or so. The pics may tell all....but not the drama she had at the start of the day.....nor the question mark that remains. *************
Regards
A few months ago, she kicked her elder sister out of the little house we have here after a family money dispute. She can be very ruthless. This prompted a couple of FB posts by the elder sister that she cannot keep her secret for ever and she is a traitor. This was in English...for me to see. She did not turn up for the wedding nor did her brothers. Then rumours came in that she has a third child....and she was already married. I kept this crap from her because she was already stressing with wedding arrangements. None of the stories appear to have any foundation. I was warned by various sources to run a mile but many more to ignore the rumours....which I did. But my eyes and ears were kept open. I then received an invite from her former partner....the father of her two boys to meet him who would verify that she was married to someone else. He wanted to marry her, but couldn't because she was already married....according to her. I turned down the offer of the meeting fearing it could be a trap....knowing that being seen with him will compromise me. She hates him.
.I think I mentioned that there was an attempted hacking of my UK bank account when I was in Malaysia. Couple of weeks ago, my ATM card for my Phils bank went missing/lost/stolen and 10k was taken. I am the only one who knows the pin. I saw the CCTV recording and the bank manager thought the card used was a different colour to mine. Suggesting a clone. However, the thief if he was professional would know he could have withdrawn 20k in two pulls. However, rumour control has it that her family is 10k better off. A police friend of hers warned that I should not report it to the police. He said something similar happened not too far away from here and the victim....an Indian foreigner reported it to the police and was shot dead the next day. I figured my life was not worth risking.Her pawning appears to have stopped and so has her On Line Jewelry Business. She appears to have no more gold left bar her engagement and wedding ring. Normally she wears a lot of gold rings on her fingers and jewelry around her neck. That appears to have gone. No idea what the money was used for....or maybe she stashed them away somewhere different. I suspect that mystery will unfold in the not too distant future.Filipinas have many qualities. Mostly good. However, all are temperamental and hers is probably worse than most. During the past few months, she has called our engagement off a few times over minor issues. The first time she told me to call off the wedding, I called her bluff and did just that. That was a wake up call for her. Then she did it twice 48 hrs before our wedding, then it was I who got the wake-up call.
. It was over money about 48hrs before the wedding. She is overspending her allowance and recently purchased a brand new scooter on HP. She cannot afford it and consequently asking for advances from her next months allowance. I have told her firmly that she needs to watch her budget and on this occasion she went off in a huff.....even though I agreed the advance. After she left the house, she sent me a text to cancel the wedding. I gave her an ultimatum by a certain time. That passed. I offered a small increase in her allowance with an ultimatum. That also passed with no reply. I notified everyone involved that the wedding was cancelled at this late stage. She came in later that night and apologized for her attitude....guess she was surprised I called her bluff. This time I played hard ball having had enough of this crap and after a lot of tears...she made a lunge for the kitchen. Thought she was going to smash a few plates as before or whatever and went after her. She came out with a large kitchen knife and threatened to kill herself. I managed to get the knife off her and long story short....the wedding was back on again. Next morning, I msg'd everyone to say that it was back on......and then, she found out what I had given as the reason for the cancellation. Money. She flipped again saying she could not face a wedding being seen as a gold digger and told to cancel again. Again....lots of tears and got hold of the knife again and made for the bathroom. I managed to get the knife off her. After an hour....she calmed down and relented. Now during this time and other occasions over the years, she is advised by her best friend and they msg a lot. Basically she calms her down, tells her she is being stupid and thankfully she listens. Her best friend is a partner of an ex-pat...a very good friend of mine and he tells me how much time she spends messaging her with good advice. If it wasn't for her....the relationship would never have lasted. The wedding was back on again....I am glad I waited that hour.Everything I have written are the bare bones for the sake of brevity. I will tell you how the day went in the next day or so. The pics may tell all....but not the drama she had at the start of the day.....nor the question mark that remains. *************
Regards
Oct 7th 2018, 10:51 am
#1791
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Me and My Family
I admit to being 100% confused as to why you married this woman. Maybe it's the way you write or maybe it's the way I read but nothing I see shouts love and everything I see shouts emotional chaos. I sincerely hope you are happy.
Oct 7th 2018, 2:01 pm
#1792
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
MP20,
You make a valid point which is similar to those made before. I will answer in the same vein.... If I posted a loving relationship which is the case the vast majority of the time, it will generate no interest. My wedding for example only generated 2 comments (from memory) and therefore only post that which may be of interest.
Certainly things have been difficult during the lead up to the wedding and so far.....one month after. But I can assure you, that our relationship in between has been perfect. I wont bore you with details. But then again....why would I marry a woman if there was nothing between us?
Regards
You make a valid point which is similar to those made before. I will answer in the same vein.... If I posted a loving relationship which is the case the vast majority of the time, it will generate no interest. My wedding for example only generated 2 comments (from memory) and therefore only post that which may be of interest.
Certainly things have been difficult during the lead up to the wedding and so far.....one month after. But I can assure you, that our relationship in between has been perfect. I wont bore you with details. But then again....why would I marry a woman if there was nothing between us?
Regards
Oct 7th 2018, 3:01 pm
#1793
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
MP20,
You make a valid point which is similar to those made before. I will answer in the same vein.... If I posted a loving relationship which is the case the vast majority of the time, it will generate no interest. My wedding for example only generated 2 comments (from memory) and therefore only post that which may be of interest.
Certainly things have been difficult during the lead up to the wedding and so far.....one month after. But I can assure you, that our relationship in between has been perfect. I wont bore you with details. But then again....why would I marry a woman if there was nothing between us?
Regards
You make a valid point which is similar to those made before. I will answer in the same vein.... If I posted a loving relationship which is the case the vast majority of the time, it will generate no interest. My wedding for example only generated 2 comments (from memory) and therefore only post that which may be of interest.
Certainly things have been difficult during the lead up to the wedding and so far.....one month after. But I can assure you, that our relationship in between has been perfect. I wont bore you with details. But then again....why would I marry a woman if there was nothing between us?
Regards
I was maybe lucky in that before the wedding nearly none of the family had met me, but they had been told that I was strict which helped. Because we arrived in Capiz only a few days before we were going to be married I had absolutely no organisational involvement which suited me fine, beyond wallet contributions of course and the then to be wife only said to family what she wanted and they, bless their cotton socks, organised everything.
One early fallout was between Mother-in-Law and her sister while M-i-L was staying with us just after the wedding, so I invited auntie round and then made them sit in the nippa hut in the garden and told them they would stay there until they were friends again. M-i-L while still not speaking to her sister asked about getting food & drink, I said they would get it when they were friends again. Within 15 minutes they were talking so much that they did not even notice that I had put food and drink on the table. Fifteen years on, auntie still laughs about this when I go and see her.
The family fallouts did not really start in earnest until a few years after we moved here and were limited to Her-in-Doors and her Mother who actually said that she wished I would die so her daughter would be poor, when I die Her-in-Doors will be worth a bloody fortune, but don't tell her that. Needless to say relations between my Mother-in-Law, my missus and just about the rest of her family who have sided with me and my missus has become a little strained in that she has not been invited back by any family member since she said that, which is a problem because I really like my wife's step father despite he is some sort of religious bod. I have lived all over the World but have never known a nation that has so many family fights, squabbles, disagreements etc. as here and it all seems to stem from jealousy over either money ( just see how many local Lottery winners have been killed by family members ) or the perception that someone has married into money/easy/posh life. I have had the obvious disputes with family members, nearly all over money, but in most cases resolved amicably.
Last edited by Stokkevn; Oct 7th 2018 at 3:05 pm.
Oct 7th 2018, 3:15 pm
#1794
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Stokkevn..
Nice story....as per usual. Thanks.
Re comments about my wedding. I should have made it clear that it was comments about the wedding day post to which I was referring which generated 2 direct comments. So....not wanting to appear ungrateful, there were many comments wishing us all the best leading up to the big day. For that I am really grateful. Thank you all again!
Regards
Nice story....as per usual. Thanks.
Re comments about my wedding. I should have made it clear that it was comments about the wedding day post to which I was referring which generated 2 direct comments. So....not wanting to appear ungrateful, there were many comments wishing us all the best leading up to the big day. For that I am really grateful. Thank you all again!
Regards
Oct 7th 2018, 3:33 pm
#1795
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
Stokkevn..
Nice story....as per usual. Thanks.
Re comments about my wedding. I should have made it clear that it was comments about the wedding day post to which I was referring which generated 2 direct comments. So....not wanting to appear ungrateful, there were many comments wishing us all the best leading up to the big day. For that I am really grateful. Thank you all again!
Regards
Nice story....as per usual. Thanks.
Re comments about my wedding. I should have made it clear that it was comments about the wedding day post to which I was referring which generated 2 direct comments. So....not wanting to appear ungrateful, there were many comments wishing us all the best leading up to the big day. For that I am really grateful. Thank you all again!
Regards
I still recon you should get on to ITV. There is a story to be told there and maybe you should be the one to sell it to them.
Last edited by Stokkevn; Oct 7th 2018 at 3:37 pm. Reason: rubbish spelling
Oct 7th 2018, 4:10 pm
#1796
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings,
As promised, I will share with you the traumas that occurred just two days BEFORE the wedding. This is the first part....another one to follow and then a follow up. Stress affects people in many different ways.....trying to deal with it can be stressful also. This is cut and pasted from an e.mail so the first few paras may not be new.....I didn't want to re-write it....being a bit lazy I guess, but mainly because its painful to re-type.
*******I think it will be fair to say that the events leading up to "The Big Day" have been stressful, not just for me but for her. The events on the final day or so have been perhaps the most traumatic of my life. I have tried to keep ....long story short.
As promised, I will share with you the traumas that occurred just two days BEFORE the wedding. This is the first part....another one to follow and then a follow up. Stress affects people in many different ways.....trying to deal with it can be stressful also. This is cut and pasted from an e.mail so the first few paras may not be new.....I didn't want to re-write it....being a bit lazy I guess, but mainly because its painful to re-type.
*******I think it will be fair to say that the events leading up to "The Big Day" have been stressful, not just for me but for her. The events on the final day or so have been perhaps the most traumatic of my life. I have tried to keep ....long story short.
It all started when we announced the date of the marriage a few months ago. For her, it was the stress of wanting everything just perfect and fortunately our wedding manager and her stylist (both ladyboys) both became our good friends and took the brunt of her worries and anxieties. They became her rock. But for me.....the rumours, lies and innuendos came flooding in from various sources grave me grave doubts.First, I started receiving anonymous messages that she had a secret bf. It then came from other sources (ex-pats) and the rumours started to swell. But no-one could give me any evidence which I could use to confront her. I suspect it started from a green-eyed monster or an enemy of her family who has been causing many problems for them. Some one wanted to destroy our relationship.
A few months ago, she kicked her elder sister out of the little house we have here after a family money dispute. She can be very ruthless. This prompted a couple of FB posts by the elder sister that she cannot keep her secret for ever and she is a traitor. This was in English...for me to see. She did not turn up for the wedding nor did her brothers. Then rumours came in that she has a third child....and she was already married. I kept this crap from her because she was already stressing with wedding arrangements. None of the stories appear to have any foundation. I was warned by various sources to run a mile but many more to ignore the rumours....which I did. But my eyes and ears were kept open. I then received an invite from her former partner....the father of her two boys to meet him who would verify that she was married to someone else. He wanted to marry her, but couldn't because she was already married....according to her. I turned down the offer of the meeting fearing it could be a trap....knowing that being seen with him will compromise me. She hates him.
.I think I mentioned that there was an attempted hacking of my UK bank account when I was in Malaysia. Couple of weeks ago, my ATM card for my Phils bank went missing/lost/stolen and 10k was taken. I am the only one who knows the pin. I saw the CCTV recording and the bank manager thought the card used was a different colour to mine. Suggesting a clone. However, the thief if he was professional would know he could have withdrawn 20k in two pulls. However, rumour control has it that her family is 10k better off. A police friend of hers warned that I should not report it to the police. He said something similar happened not too far away from here and the victim....an Indian foreigner reported it to the police and was shot dead the next day. I figured my life was not worth risking.Her pawning appears to have stopped and so has her On Line Jewelry Business. She appears to have no more gold left bar her engagement and wedding ring. Normally she wears a lot of gold rings on her fingers and jewelry around her neck. That appears to have gone. No idea what the money was used for....or maybe she stashed them away somewhere different. I suspect that mystery will unfold in the not too distant future.Filipinas have many qualities. Mostly good. However, all are temperamental and hers is probably worse than most. During the past few months, she has called our engagement off a few times over minor issues. The first time she told me to call off the wedding, I called her bluff and did just that. That was a wake up call for her. Then she did it twice 48 hrs before our wedding, then it was I who got the wake-up call.
. It was over money about 48hrs before the wedding. She is overspending her allowance and recently purchased a brand new scooter on HP. She cannot afford it and consequently asking for advances from her next months allowance. I have told her firmly that she needs to watch her budget and on this occasion she went off in a huff.....even though I agreed the advance. After she left the house, she sent me a text to cancel the wedding. I gave her an ultimatum by a certain time. That passed. I offered a small increase in her allowance with an ultimatum. That also passed with no reply. I notified everyone involved that the wedding was cancelled at this late stage. She came in later that night and apologized for her attitude....guess she was surprised I called her bluff. This time I played hard ball having had enough of this crap and after a lot of tears...she made a lunge for the kitchen. Thought she was going to smash a few plates as before or whatever and went after her. She came out with a large kitchen knife and threatened to kill herself. I managed to get the knife off her and long story short....the wedding was back on again. Next morning, I msg'd everyone to say that it was back on......and then, she found out what I had given as the reason for the cancellation. Money. She flipped again saying she could not face a wedding being seen as a gold digger and told to cancel again. Again....lots of tears and got hold of the knife again and made for the bathroom. I managed to get the knife off her. After an hour....she calmed down and relented. Now during this time and other occasions over the years, she is advised by her best friend and they msg a lot. Basically she calms her down, tells her she is being stupid and thankfully she listens. Her best friend is a partner of an ex-pat...a very good friend of mine and he tells me how much time she spends messaging her with good advice. If it wasn't for her....the relationship would never have lasted. The wedding was back on again....I am glad I waited that hour.Everything I have written are the bare bones for the sake of brevity. I will tell you how the day went in the next day or so. The pics may tell all....but not the drama she had at the start of the day.....nor the question mark that remains. *************
Regards
A few months ago, she kicked her elder sister out of the little house we have here after a family money dispute. She can be very ruthless. This prompted a couple of FB posts by the elder sister that she cannot keep her secret for ever and she is a traitor. This was in English...for me to see. She did not turn up for the wedding nor did her brothers. Then rumours came in that she has a third child....and she was already married. I kept this crap from her because she was already stressing with wedding arrangements. None of the stories appear to have any foundation. I was warned by various sources to run a mile but many more to ignore the rumours....which I did. But my eyes and ears were kept open. I then received an invite from her former partner....the father of her two boys to meet him who would verify that she was married to someone else. He wanted to marry her, but couldn't because she was already married....according to her. I turned down the offer of the meeting fearing it could be a trap....knowing that being seen with him will compromise me. She hates him.
.I think I mentioned that there was an attempted hacking of my UK bank account when I was in Malaysia. Couple of weeks ago, my ATM card for my Phils bank went missing/lost/stolen and 10k was taken. I am the only one who knows the pin. I saw the CCTV recording and the bank manager thought the card used was a different colour to mine. Suggesting a clone. However, the thief if he was professional would know he could have withdrawn 20k in two pulls. However, rumour control has it that her family is 10k better off. A police friend of hers warned that I should not report it to the police. He said something similar happened not too far away from here and the victim....an Indian foreigner reported it to the police and was shot dead the next day. I figured my life was not worth risking.Her pawning appears to have stopped and so has her On Line Jewelry Business. She appears to have no more gold left bar her engagement and wedding ring. Normally she wears a lot of gold rings on her fingers and jewelry around her neck. That appears to have gone. No idea what the money was used for....or maybe she stashed them away somewhere different. I suspect that mystery will unfold in the not too distant future.Filipinas have many qualities. Mostly good. However, all are temperamental and hers is probably worse than most. During the past few months, she has called our engagement off a few times over minor issues. The first time she told me to call off the wedding, I called her bluff and did just that. That was a wake up call for her. Then she did it twice 48 hrs before our wedding, then it was I who got the wake-up call.
. It was over money about 48hrs before the wedding. She is overspending her allowance and recently purchased a brand new scooter on HP. She cannot afford it and consequently asking for advances from her next months allowance. I have told her firmly that she needs to watch her budget and on this occasion she went off in a huff.....even though I agreed the advance. After she left the house, she sent me a text to cancel the wedding. I gave her an ultimatum by a certain time. That passed. I offered a small increase in her allowance with an ultimatum. That also passed with no reply. I notified everyone involved that the wedding was cancelled at this late stage. She came in later that night and apologized for her attitude....guess she was surprised I called her bluff. This time I played hard ball having had enough of this crap and after a lot of tears...she made a lunge for the kitchen. Thought she was going to smash a few plates as before or whatever and went after her. She came out with a large kitchen knife and threatened to kill herself. I managed to get the knife off her and long story short....the wedding was back on again. Next morning, I msg'd everyone to say that it was back on......and then, she found out what I had given as the reason for the cancellation. Money. She flipped again saying she could not face a wedding being seen as a gold digger and told to cancel again. Again....lots of tears and got hold of the knife again and made for the bathroom. I managed to get the knife off her. After an hour....she calmed down and relented. Now during this time and other occasions over the years, she is advised by her best friend and they msg a lot. Basically she calms her down, tells her she is being stupid and thankfully she listens. Her best friend is a partner of an ex-pat...a very good friend of mine and he tells me how much time she spends messaging her with good advice. If it wasn't for her....the relationship would never have lasted. The wedding was back on again....I am glad I waited that hour.Everything I have written are the bare bones for the sake of brevity. I will tell you how the day went in the next day or so. The pics may tell all....but not the drama she had at the start of the day.....nor the question mark that remains. *************
Regards
Oct 7th 2018, 4:47 pm
#1797
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,391
Re: Me and My Family
I don't recall reading a wedding post from you, P11, but I do hope that you realize that any comments issued by me were in jest and not meant to be hurtful. Sorry to read the first saga of the pre and post wedding nightmare. Jealousy is the same world over and sounds like there are more than a boatful aimed at your wife and yourself. I know only of the Filipino culture from various internet friends and the very few marriages I know of, and have witnessed, by Americans who brought their wives to America only to have them take their American spouses to the cleaners after they have gotten their own US naturalization. Perhaps that is why your thread held such interest for me because it seemed to be following the same path. Yes, each person is an individual and acts and reacts to different scenarios in their own way. But it seems that the culture of the Philippines is so vastly unlike and alien to anything known to western civilization that many of us sit with mouths hanging open at reading of the various plights and plots in your thread.
You are married now and I can only wish both you and she a happy ending to your story and that the story is filled with love, trust, and faithfulness and the lack of family interference.
You are married now and I can only wish both you and she a happy ending to your story and that the story is filled with love, trust, and faithfulness and the lack of family interference.
Oct 8th 2018, 3:07 am
#1798
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings!
Thank you for your kind words Rete. Very much appreciated.
Onto more serious matters. This is the second installment which again is cut and pasted for the same reasons as before...
*****She wanted the ceremony to be short. Normally they last an hour or so but because of the amount of foreigner friends we have who will get bored....it lasted about 15 minutes. Because the Pastor was a class mate and a close friend, this has now prompted rumours that the wedding was a fake. I happen to know that he is indeed a pastor and as part of the formalities of getting wed here, he had to show certification to the City Hall that he is qualified to conduct marriages. I saw that certificate. So....those rumours now bound.
There is more to come which includes....more betrayal by her family....the mysterious/suspicious case of her missing wedding ring......A bigger shock arrives in the post.....2 more knife episodes.....and anything else that comes to mind. That will bring this saga up to date.
Regards
Thank you for your kind words Rete. Very much appreciated.
Onto more serious matters. This is the second installment which again is cut and pasted for the same reasons as before...
*****She wanted the ceremony to be short. Normally they last an hour or so but because of the amount of foreigner friends we have who will get bored....it lasted about 15 minutes. Because the Pastor was a class mate and a close friend, this has now prompted rumours that the wedding was a fake. I happen to know that he is indeed a pastor and as part of the formalities of getting wed here, he had to show certification to the City Hall that he is qualified to conduct marriages. I saw that certificate. So....those rumours now bound.
Again fresh rumours are emerging of a 3rd child. But no names or anything concrete. Her family has been looking after 4 kids since she was overseas. One was hers...the other is with his father. The other 3 belong to "relatives" and the eldest of which (about 14) could be her 3rd child assuming there is one. Sadly he is a reprobate and has been moved away to be looked after by other relatives. This is the Pilipino way of doing things.Now the shock........
The other day she came bursting into the bedroom and very upset and in floods of tears (real). Her family was overdue their rent by 7 months owing a total of 35k. The rent is paid half by her brother and half by her. But against my advice, the money was given to her father to pay the landlady. He spent the money on other things and no rent was paid. The landlady is a friend of hers and gave her family a lot of lee-way......but because it was her who found the house and negotiated a discount, she was now deemed accountable for the arrears. I told her to pawn her jewelry to pay for it....then came another shock. She no longer has any jewelry....all pawned off to pay a business deal that went wrong. She was taking big orders and paid up front by pawning to secure a bigger discount and the customer repays her over 3 months. The last customer whom she trusted....reneged on the deal by not repaying her. Her business is now bust. She therefore cannot repay the rent arrears for which she has been held responsible. In view of this, I agreed to take on the debt...for which I can ill-afford after overspending on the wedding and repay the landlady over 3 months. Now we had to deal with the family. I came up with a plan that we will personally pay the future rent as long as certain conditions were met. These were her conditions. Which included...no free loaders at the house of which there were many.
We went down to talk to her father in a calm and dignified manner. I was not going to rant as I did last time.He was like a raging bull when we entered the house. He shouted and screamed at her....stamping his feet....beating his chest ....and throwing air punches. Plus punching the door. She gave as good as she got. His wife tried to calm him down and everyone else in the house ran for cover. I decided at this point we were not going to have a rational calm discussion and got her to leave. She told him she was done with the family and they will no longer rely on her. In fact she now wants to move away. He retaliated by saying that she can take care of her son in future on which she agreed. She told her mother to pack his things and send him to our house. He has not yet appeared. I paid the first installment this morning and we signed an agreement that from this day forth....she will no longer be liable for the house or its maintenance. Nor will I. That means they will not have the 5k given them for rent to spend....but will have to find the 5k rent themselves. 10k down. We are angry at them and very disappointed that they have taken us for a ride. They accused her (me?) of not doing enough for them. Which is insulting after what she has done for them ever since she was at school. They have a daughter which she and I financed through college who could be earning 20 - 30k pm. She earns about 5k pm at the city hall. They have free loaders at the house who contribute next to nothing. But what saddens me more? The way they have treated her. The damage done may now be irreparable. She loves her family and is now an outcast. Me? I hate them ....
.But this has brought us closer together. She no longer has the stress of the wedding but I know she is hurting although trying not to show it. The collapse of her business would have hurt her pride and I guess there are some people here who may be gloating. The wedding photos on fb are still being ignored by her close family although I never mention it. The wedding was her dream...her creation come true.She posted this on our wedding day:
"Our day is finally here after months and months of planning it is finally here.All of our friends and family are here to join us in celebrating this happy day.So i hope we dont mess up anything.although that could be a little stress.A wedding day is something a girl has though about ever since she was a little girl,just like me...I am pretty sure that this day wedding is everything I ever imagined. I can't wait for you to see me walking down the aisle in the dress I finally chose after trying so many so on for the last few months...and the beach attire your wearing,you look so handsome in it,standing at the end of the aisle waiting for me...."******The other day she came bursting into the bedroom and very upset and in floods of tears (real). Her family was overdue their rent by 7 months owing a total of 35k. The rent is paid half by her brother and half by her. But against my advice, the money was given to her father to pay the landlady. He spent the money on other things and no rent was paid. The landlady is a friend of hers and gave her family a lot of lee-way......but because it was her who found the house and negotiated a discount, she was now deemed accountable for the arrears. I told her to pawn her jewelry to pay for it....then came another shock. She no longer has any jewelry....all pawned off to pay a business deal that went wrong. She was taking big orders and paid up front by pawning to secure a bigger discount and the customer repays her over 3 months. The last customer whom she trusted....reneged on the deal by not repaying her. Her business is now bust. She therefore cannot repay the rent arrears for which she has been held responsible. In view of this, I agreed to take on the debt...for which I can ill-afford after overspending on the wedding and repay the landlady over 3 months. Now we had to deal with the family. I came up with a plan that we will personally pay the future rent as long as certain conditions were met. These were her conditions. Which included...no free loaders at the house of which there were many.
We went down to talk to her father in a calm and dignified manner. I was not going to rant as I did last time.He was like a raging bull when we entered the house. He shouted and screamed at her....stamping his feet....beating his chest ....and throwing air punches. Plus punching the door. She gave as good as she got. His wife tried to calm him down and everyone else in the house ran for cover. I decided at this point we were not going to have a rational calm discussion and got her to leave. She told him she was done with the family and they will no longer rely on her. In fact she now wants to move away. He retaliated by saying that she can take care of her son in future on which she agreed. She told her mother to pack his things and send him to our house. He has not yet appeared. I paid the first installment this morning and we signed an agreement that from this day forth....she will no longer be liable for the house or its maintenance. Nor will I. That means they will not have the 5k given them for rent to spend....but will have to find the 5k rent themselves. 10k down. We are angry at them and very disappointed that they have taken us for a ride. They accused her (me?) of not doing enough for them. Which is insulting after what she has done for them ever since she was at school. They have a daughter which she and I financed through college who could be earning 20 - 30k pm. She earns about 5k pm at the city hall. They have free loaders at the house who contribute next to nothing. But what saddens me more? The way they have treated her. The damage done may now be irreparable. She loves her family and is now an outcast. Me? I hate them ....
.But this has brought us closer together. She no longer has the stress of the wedding but I know she is hurting although trying not to show it. The collapse of her business would have hurt her pride and I guess there are some people here who may be gloating. The wedding photos on fb are still being ignored by her close family although I never mention it. The wedding was her dream...her creation come true.She posted this on our wedding day:
There is more to come which includes....more betrayal by her family....the mysterious/suspicious case of her missing wedding ring......A bigger shock arrives in the post.....2 more knife episodes.....and anything else that comes to mind. That will bring this saga up to date.
Regards
Last edited by Philosophical 11; Oct 8th 2018 at 3:15 am.
Oct 8th 2018, 11:50 am
#1800
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings!
Thank you for your kind words Rete. Very much appreciated.
Onto more serious matters. This is the second installment which again is cut and pasted for the same reasons as before...
*****She wanted the ceremony to be short. Normally they last an hour or so but because of the amount of foreigner friends we have who will get bored....it lasted about 15 minutes. Because the Pastor was a class mate and a close friend, this has now prompted rumours that the wedding was a fake. I happen to know that he is indeed a pastor and as part of the formalities of getting wed here, he had to show certification to the City Hall that he is qualified to conduct marriages. I saw that certificate. So....those rumours now bound.
There is more to come which includes....more betrayal by her family....the mysterious/suspicious case of her missing wedding ring......A bigger shock arrives in the post.....2 more knife episodes.....and anything else that comes to mind. That will bring this saga up to date.
Regards
Thank you for your kind words Rete. Very much appreciated.
Onto more serious matters. This is the second installment which again is cut and pasted for the same reasons as before...
*****She wanted the ceremony to be short. Normally they last an hour or so but because of the amount of foreigner friends we have who will get bored....it lasted about 15 minutes. Because the Pastor was a class mate and a close friend, this has now prompted rumours that the wedding was a fake. I happen to know that he is indeed a pastor and as part of the formalities of getting wed here, he had to show certification to the City Hall that he is qualified to conduct marriages. I saw that certificate. So....those rumours now bound.
Again fresh rumours are emerging of a 3rd child. But no names or anything concrete. Her family has been looking after 4 kids since she was overseas. One was hers...the other is with his father. The other 3 belong to "relatives" and the eldest of which (about 14) could be her 3rd child assuming there is one. Sadly he is a reprobate and has been moved away to be looked after by other relatives. This is the Pilipino way of doing things.Now the shock........
The other day she came bursting into the bedroom and very upset and in floods of tears (real). Her family was overdue their rent by 7 months owing a total of 35k. The rent is paid half by her brother and half by her. But against my advice, the money was given to her father to pay the landlady. He spent the money on other things and no rent was paid. The landlady is a friend of hers and gave her family a lot of lee-way......but because it was her who found the house and negotiated a discount, she was now deemed accountable for the arrears. I told her to pawn her jewelry to pay for it....then came another shock. She no longer has any jewelry....all pawned off to pay a business deal that went wrong. She was taking big orders and paid up front by pawning to secure a bigger discount and the customer repays her over 3 months. The last customer whom she trusted....reneged on the deal by not repaying her. Her business is now bust. She therefore cannot repay the rent arrears for which she has been held responsible. In view of this, I agreed to take on the debt...for which I can ill-afford after overspending on the wedding and repay the landlady over 3 months. Now we had to deal with the family. I came up with a plan that we will personally pay the future rent as long as certain conditions were met. These were her conditions. Which included...no free loaders at the house of which there were many.
We went down to talk to her father in a calm and dignified manner. I was not going to rant as I did last time.He was like a raging bull when we entered the house. He shouted and screamed at her....stamping his feet....beating his chest ....and throwing air punches. Plus punching the door. She gave as good as she got. His wife tried to calm him down and everyone else in the house ran for cover. I decided at this point we were not going to have a rational calm discussion and got her to leave. She told him she was done with the family and they will no longer rely on her. In fact she now wants to move away. He retaliated by saying that she can take care of her son in future on which she agreed. She told her mother to pack his things and send him to our house. He has not yet appeared. I paid the first installment this morning and we signed an agreement that from this day forth....she will no longer be liable for the house or its maintenance. Nor will I. That means they will not have the 5k given them for rent to spend....but will have to find the 5k rent themselves. 10k down. We are angry at them and very disappointed that they have taken us for a ride. They accused her (me?) of not doing enough for them. Which is insulting after what she has done for them ever since she was at school. They have a daughter which she and I financed through college who could be earning 20 - 30k pm. She earns about 5k pm at the city hall. They have free loaders at the house who contribute next to nothing. But what saddens me more? The way they have treated her. The damage done may now be irreparable. She loves her family and is now an outcast. Me? I hate them ....
.But this has brought us closer together. She no longer has the stress of the wedding but I know she is hurting although trying not to show it. The collapse of her business would have hurt her pride and I guess there are some people here who may be gloating. The wedding photos on fb are still being ignored by her close family although I never mention it. The wedding was her dream...her creation come true.She posted this on our wedding day:
"Our day is finally here after months and months of planning it is finally here.All of our friends and family are here to join us in celebrating this happy day.So i hope we dont mess up anything.although that could be a little stress.A wedding day is something a girl has though about ever since she was a little girl,just like me...I am pretty sure that this day wedding is everything I ever imagined. I can't wait for you to see me walking down the aisle in the dress I finally chose after trying so many so on for the last few months...and the beach attire your wearing,you look so handsome in it,standing at the end of the aisle waiting for me...."******The other day she came bursting into the bedroom and very upset and in floods of tears (real). Her family was overdue their rent by 7 months owing a total of 35k. The rent is paid half by her brother and half by her. But against my advice, the money was given to her father to pay the landlady. He spent the money on other things and no rent was paid. The landlady is a friend of hers and gave her family a lot of lee-way......but because it was her who found the house and negotiated a discount, she was now deemed accountable for the arrears. I told her to pawn her jewelry to pay for it....then came another shock. She no longer has any jewelry....all pawned off to pay a business deal that went wrong. She was taking big orders and paid up front by pawning to secure a bigger discount and the customer repays her over 3 months. The last customer whom she trusted....reneged on the deal by not repaying her. Her business is now bust. She therefore cannot repay the rent arrears for which she has been held responsible. In view of this, I agreed to take on the debt...for which I can ill-afford after overspending on the wedding and repay the landlady over 3 months. Now we had to deal with the family. I came up with a plan that we will personally pay the future rent as long as certain conditions were met. These were her conditions. Which included...no free loaders at the house of which there were many.
We went down to talk to her father in a calm and dignified manner. I was not going to rant as I did last time.He was like a raging bull when we entered the house. He shouted and screamed at her....stamping his feet....beating his chest ....and throwing air punches. Plus punching the door. She gave as good as she got. His wife tried to calm him down and everyone else in the house ran for cover. I decided at this point we were not going to have a rational calm discussion and got her to leave. She told him she was done with the family and they will no longer rely on her. In fact she now wants to move away. He retaliated by saying that she can take care of her son in future on which she agreed. She told her mother to pack his things and send him to our house. He has not yet appeared. I paid the first installment this morning and we signed an agreement that from this day forth....she will no longer be liable for the house or its maintenance. Nor will I. That means they will not have the 5k given them for rent to spend....but will have to find the 5k rent themselves. 10k down. We are angry at them and very disappointed that they have taken us for a ride. They accused her (me?) of not doing enough for them. Which is insulting after what she has done for them ever since she was at school. They have a daughter which she and I financed through college who could be earning 20 - 30k pm. She earns about 5k pm at the city hall. They have free loaders at the house who contribute next to nothing. But what saddens me more? The way they have treated her. The damage done may now be irreparable. She loves her family and is now an outcast. Me? I hate them ....
.But this has brought us closer together. She no longer has the stress of the wedding but I know she is hurting although trying not to show it. The collapse of her business would have hurt her pride and I guess there are some people here who may be gloating. The wedding photos on fb are still being ignored by her close family although I never mention it. The wedding was her dream...her creation come true.She posted this on our wedding day:
There is more to come which includes....more betrayal by her family....the mysterious/suspicious case of her missing wedding ring......A bigger shock arrives in the post.....2 more knife episodes.....and anything else that comes to mind. That will bring this saga up to date.
Regards