Catchafire

Hi Everyone

A bit of input required

I am half Filapino, spent most of my life in the UK, been on the wrong side of the tracks occasionally, got myself sorted out, had a good career in the UK, went travelling and settled down NZ, raising a family and run a couple of successful businesses. And I am pretty happy with my lot.

Now my "family" in the Philippines is one of these sugar baron clans, whose glory days were back in the 50's and 60's. Since then the families fortunes have gone downhill at an accelerated rate. The usual stuff, gambling, stupid business decisions, wastrel children (heaps of them), alcohol, illegitimate kids popping up every now and again, murder, back stabbing, crazy old matriarchs.

That is just the immediate family! Then you have all the retinue and hanger ons, "trusted" servants, care givers, con men, money lenders etc. It big nasty can of worms.

Now I go to the Philippines every now and again, I love my mum and she wants to see her grand kids. But these days I usually pick somewhere away from her home, so I do not have to deal with anyone else.

Now crazy old matriarch (grandmother) is on her last legs and the knives are starting to come out, as the last of the families assets will be up for grabs when she passes. My mum, who has power of attorney over her mums affairs and is the major beneficiary from her will, is starting to become a target of intimidation.

My first instinct is to go over there, as I have a good idea who is behind this and give them a good bitch slapping. I am not someone who is easily intimidated, but a couple of my cousins are gun toting shabu smoking wanna be gangsters (major dickheads) and its not something I really want to provoke.

So my head is saying Lawyer. Get my mum away and put a wall up.

Just wondered if anyone could give me some advice on how to handle things.

Many thanks!

piero

Hi swap sugar for oil sounds like Dallas or so many other tv shows. First take care of Mum she is the MOST important then if the cousins are still a problem i,m sure you can sort that as well

piero

Hi i need new glasses i just read again the cousins use shabu and have guns. i,m not sure what a bitch slap is but i think salvage a better option

Gazza-d

Your story is not that unusual. you are on a hiding to nothing. What ever you do someone will think someone else has more than them and they don't deserve it. We have similar problems on both sides of my wife's family, you will never alay suspicions. You're thinking like a european. This lot wont see sense, at least not your idea of sense. Best walk away and let them get on with it as they will never be happy until they have pulled everyone down around them.

piero

this week on local tv said The Phillipines the most emotional country i wonder where it comes in as most jealous. look after mum and walk away

Catchafire

Thanks everyone. Got mum to move out and into an apartment in Cebu, Grand mother moved into residential care.

Pressure is off for a while at least.

piero

that sounds much better good luck