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Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

Old Sep 6th 2013, 10:03 pm
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Default Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

Well, here we are, 5 months in, more or less. So, how's it been? For the details, read the log, but here is a précis:

Month 1: alone, hubby in UK completing the house sale etc. I wa forced to come over alone. I stayed with a friend of a friends mum. Small cold house, but lovely woman. No Internet, so I spent most evenings at the library.

Work was hellish. Nothing at all like I expected. In fact, they changed the job totally, from when I left the UK on the plane, to when I walked through the door on my first day. I am a special needs teacher, but the only thing that was the same was the word teacher in the job title. I seriously wondered if I had made the right decision. There were a few times when I actually told hubby to halt the house sale and book me a flight home.

Month 2: spent most trying to find a rental. That was hard with no car (and no way of affording one, till the house was sold in the UK). Threw myself into absolutely ever social opportunity at work, found as many sports clubs to join as I could. Tied my hardest to always be busy, to help with the fact that I was alone and missing OH. It's hard actually, trying to set up home alone in a foreign country. Who is it that you call to connect the electric? What bills do you have to pay? Who is the best phone provider? What data cap do you choose? What type of house is best? What is cheap, what is expensive? I had to go the whole 9 yards and look at everything including the hell holes, so I knew what I was dealing with. It's hard work, alone, when you don't know the city. I am running out of money. My new work friends lend me an entire house full of furniture so I can move into my own rental. (Just till my container arrives). Amazing.

Month 3: OH arrives. yay! The longest we have been apart since we met! He found a job within a week, which was great. But he hated it. A jobs a job, though. One week after he arrived, mum was diagnosed with cancer. She told me a week after he arrived. My world fell apart. When I left the UK I promised her I would always have a credit card, and would come straight back if she needed me. I was told to hold off, it was ok, she had plenty of time left. Not true. By the time we realised the gravity of the situation, it was almost too late. I booked the very nip exit flight home. (It cost me a bomb, one way). She died before I landed in London. Work were truly brilliant at this difficult time. I asked dad did he want me to return. He said no. The stories I had told him about how brilliantly supportive my new friends and colleagues were told him that I had made the right decision and I needed to stay in NZ. He promised he would visit some time soon.

Meanwhile, in NZ hubby gets injured at work and can't work. He gets paid nothing. We are down to one wage, my wage. Luckily, work agreed to give me 1 month bereavement leave, full pay. In NZ a company called ACC take over and supposedly pay your sick pay, doctors charges etc. to date we haven't received a single cent.

It's at this time that the people of Southland come into their own. They rally round, I get incredible support, physical and otherwise. They are the single reason I am not leaving NZ right now.

Month 4: spent in the UK dealing with mums funeral, and helping dad sort out the estate. Tough time. Meanwhile, in NZ OH is still not working. When I return, work have changed my job again. Its tough to deal with. Container arrives. Even though its a rental, it starts to feel like our house.


Month 5 banks announce that they are no longer going to lend 95% mortgages soon. We panic. I just used our house deposit to get to mums funeral. They refuse to help. OH still not working, ACC still not paying. We are struggling. The friends I have made locally are still truly brilliant. That is what s keeping me sane. We eventually scrape the deposit together JUST in time (by only 24 hours!) we have a house! We don't move in till November but that gives us time to save the remaining $3000 of fees. OH has a job interview. We are waiting to hear, he has a job offer - subject to references. A job he much prefers.

It's been a really tough tough time. I expected it to be hard but not this hard. However, still believe we did the right thing. I don't like the job, I am loing for a new one. But hey, it got me started, it got me here, and my 3 month period that I have to stay there is well up.

Positives of being here?

We have way more land than we could ever have afforded in the UK, with a mortgage half the size, if you workit out on % of wages rather than exchange rate equivalents. The house purchase was done just on my wage, NEVER possible in the UK.

The people are utterly brilliant. I have found it easy to make friends, and they have really helped me in difficult times.

We can be on a beach or a ski slope all in the same day, where in the UK could. Do at, leta,one afford to do that!?

Beautiful beautiful country. Yes, it's millions of miles from everywhere, but its quiet, peaceful, way wa slower way of life.

Even in Southland, (the cold end!) even the winter is several degrees warmer than the UK.

Have I regretted it?

A million times! But remember, there was a reason that I left the UK, and that reason is still there, and hasn't changed. It's easy to think the grass is greener.

Will I stay?

Yes, I think so. Will I stay in Southland, very possibly. But one thing I do know is that 5 months is no where new long enough for a balanced judgement, ask me again in another year!

Last edited by BEVS; Sep 7th 2013 at 3:23 pm. Reason: sort the bolds out
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Old Sep 7th 2013, 10:05 pm
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Default Re: Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

That is one hell of a roller coaster. You have amazing courage, lots of people would have given up. Truly amazing, I hope things just keep getting better for you both. Good luck!
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Old Sep 7th 2013, 10:54 pm
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Default Re: Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

You're right there! Lets hope so, it can't really get much worse now, can it!?
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Old Sep 8th 2013, 8:35 am
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Default Re: Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

I second the above: Amazing!
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Old Sep 9th 2013, 10:59 am
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Default Re: Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

Originally Posted by Linguo1988
I second the above: Amazing!
Me too. Your amazingly strong. Keep that strength up and you can achieve anything. Good luck.
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Old Sep 10th 2013, 8:52 pm
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Default Re: Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

Thanks everyone.

Good news today, OH got a new job, full time permanent, starts tomorrow.

(Still not a cent from ACC!)
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Old Sep 10th 2013, 11:18 pm
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Default Re: Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

Originally Posted by M_and_M
Thanks everyone.

Good news today, OH got a new job, full time permanent, starts tomorrow.

(Still not a cent from ACC!)
Congrats Mel, that's awesome
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Old Sep 11th 2013, 7:29 am
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Default Re: Month update: its been a helluva roller coaster!

Really great update! You have been through so much, so pleased your husband now has a job!

I was in Bluff a couple of weeks ago, was a glorious day down South and was pleasantly surprised to see some positive changes.
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