Finally an update

Old Aug 13th 2013, 11:07 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by pixi-dust
they even had this amazing new deli, with a whole pata negra ham hanging up and all sorts.
and they had so many tills open there were NO queues!!!!
I will ask the taxi driver to go straight to M&S, not the hotel we would be staying at upon our return !

Do you think my husband would mind ?
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Old Aug 13th 2013, 11:12 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by pixi-dust
it was Percy Pigs that I had to take back for a friend they have baby percy pigs now too
Nah, Percy Pigs or now, Percy piglets don't do it for me. Any chance of an M&S mushroom risotto ? What's their sandwich selection like these days ? Two slices of bread with a filling - oh ok.
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Old Aug 13th 2013, 12:43 pm
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Default Re: Finally an update

Nice work Danni.

It's odd, I've only been in NZ for 6 weeks but I totally understand your point of view, I do wonder if my wife (a Kiwi) may think along similar lines to you in time.

I don't know, but some of the things she keeps saying referring to the fact 'it's not like it was when I grew up just makes me wonder ...

My wife's Mum died when she was 14, at 17 she went off the Uni in Dunedin, came back to Auckland for less than year after Uni before heading to London, and then meeting me, etc.

I do wonder if she is having a sense of closure, now being and adult and a mum about her Mums death, which to be fair she has always been very philosophical about in the past.

If my wondering proves correct, we're in for an interesting conversation because I'm not all that interested in going back to the UK for a wee while yet

Anyway, at risk of hijacking your post!!

I had to give up and Percy Pig related goods, way too moreish.

As for Greek island, Paxos. Lets just say the best things come in small packages
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Old Aug 14th 2013, 10:01 pm
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by TommyLuck
Nice work Danni.

It's odd, I've only been in NZ for 6 weeks but I totally understand your point of view, I do wonder if my wife (a Kiwi) may think along similar lines to you in time.

I don't know, but some of the things she keeps saying referring to the fact 'it's not like it was when I grew up just makes me wonder ...

My wife's Mum died when she was 14, at 17 she went off the Uni in Dunedin, came back to Auckland for less than year after Uni before heading to London, and then meeting me, etc.

I do wonder if she is having a sense of closure, now being and adult and a mum about her Mums death, which to be fair she has always been very philosophical about in the past.

If my wondering proves correct, we're in for an interesting conversation because I'm not all that interested in going back to the UK for a wee while yet

Anyway, at risk of hijacking your post!!

I had to give up and Percy Pig related goods, way too moreish.

As for Greek island, Paxos. Lets just say the best things come in small packages
Thanks TommyLuck - will PM you when I have more than 2mins without a toddler wrangling me. Quite a few parallels in our two stories. I hope all goes well for you guys in NZ
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Old Aug 15th 2013, 12:04 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by dannigirl
Thanks TommyLuck - will PM you when I have more than 2mins without a toddler wrangling me. Quite a few parallels in our two stories. I hope all goes well for you guys in NZ
Hi dannigirl

I honestly wish you all the luck in the world with your trip back to the UK. I can relate to your feelings living here a lot even though I've only been here a short time. Don't think I could stay as long as you have. a small piece of me is dying every day. thank god for Skype.

I love M&S Earl Grey tea in a posh cup. when I go home my meltdown will be in Ikea! I know I'll cry.
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Old Aug 30th 2013, 5:27 pm
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by dannigirl
Well, we are on the rocky road back to the UK!

House in on the market and as soon as that sells we will pretty much be off.

Biggest reason has been family. Bottom line is we have much more family support in the UK and our girls will have much more family around them growing up in the UK. We thought that maybe some of the benefits of childhood in NZ could counteract not having as much family, but we don't feel the benefits/positives actually outweigh the negatives.

Some of our reasons are very personal, so I won't bore you with the details but again we feel the right environment for us as a family is in the UK.

I am so pleased we have come back to NZ. We have honestly given it 1000% and really did want to settle, but feel really good about our decision to return to the UK. I love my country of birth very much and NZ will be in my heart forever, but it's not the same NZ I left and I am not the same person that left NZ 11 years ago.

We have a wonderful family in Wales, I am excited about the girls growing up in Britain and feel excited about their futures. Of course, a country influences how you grow up but what matters most is the parenting you have. I see plenty of shit parenting here in NZ everyday ( as I'm sure we will in the UK).

I think I knew early on that it would not work, every now and then I just have this dread/awful uncomfortable feeling of staying in NZ, and although it has been a costly exercise I would not change it for the world. I don't belong here anymore. I sometimes wish I was the British expat who moved here and could experience things through fresh eyes, but I have too many memories good and bad that are hard to assimilate with the person I am now. Perhaps we should have tried to move somewhere new but family support is important to us.

There are things about the UK I don't like and I can only hope that going back after spending time in NZ makes me appreciate you can't live in a city without some compromises. I am much more urbanised than I ever imagined! We plan to holiday in NZ to visit family and teach our girls about their kiwi heritage and enjoy NZ in small (but perfectly formed) doses

I felt the pull back to NZ for the land and my culture, my family of course. But I can live away from my family and whilst I still love the land and scenery of NZ I can't help think that we could do with a few more million people to really progress this country. The South Island is epic in its beauty but the isolation and barren population is just not me anymore I can't believe I am writing this. My husband made a good point, I never intended to leave NZ on a permanent basis when I left on my OE 11 years ago. I had to come back to say goodbye to my country and to stop making comparisons between the UK and NZ. Both have their faults! I would have been unbearable to live with had we not done this, "oh in NZ we do it this way...." Even I can see how unbearable I would have been.

It is possible to live the dream in NZ, very possible. I am really envious of people who come here and live a very different life to the one they had in the UK, but I also think good on them!. It's not a mindset. It's hard work, luck, ability to adapt, taking a chance and embracing a new culture. Exactly how I hope I'll be in the UK. I just feel I can't settle the negatives of NZ in my mind, for me and MY family.

So that's us for now. Scared and hoping we don't become ping pongers
Hoping we go back to the UK taking all our experiences and lessons learned with us, and give it a good go of having a great family life in the UK.

On a totally materialistic level looking forward to Waitrose and M&S, but also traditional Christmases in the UK with lots of family, central heating, a packed Millennium Stadium watching the All Blacks smash Wales and reminding the in laws how long it has been since Wales beat us, great shopping, exploring more of the UK and finally going to the Greek Islands which was on my "to do" list during my OE but never completed!
Holy. Crap.

My mouth was literally hanging open reading your post.

Well, good luck with the move back. Hope everything goes swimmingly. I respect you and your familiy's courage, that can't have been an easy decision (or maybe it was?) after all the $$$ etc.

I'm curious, was there one thing in particular that was the straw that broke the camel's back or was it a bunch of little things?

I hope you find peace now with this decision. Having spent years myself wondering WHAT IF? the trip home last year finally sealed it for me. I'm at peace now, I'm Canadian, my home is Canada. I really hope you find the same certainty with this move back to the UK. Good luck, I mean it. And please do update us!
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Old Aug 31st 2013, 1:55 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

I've found that Nz has changed so much in that it is embracing less of the english culture - nz may soon be a republic and so there will be even less of ties to england but it is important to know about your own history and culture to find your identity and if you have english/scottish background there is so much more history and english architecture etc so that could be another reason for lack of connection in nz. Hope that makes sense. Just a random thought anyway,

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Old Sep 3rd 2013, 2:02 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by ExKiwilass
Holy. Crap.

My mouth was literally hanging open reading your post.

Well, good luck with the move back. Hope everything goes swimmingly. I respect you and your familiy's courage, that can't have been an easy decision (or maybe it was?) after all the $$$ etc.

I'm curious, was there one thing in particular that was the straw that broke the camel's back or was it a bunch of little things?

I hope you find peace now with this decision. Having spent years myself wondering WHAT IF? the trip home last year finally sealed it for me. I'm at peace now, I'm Canadian, my home is Canada. I really hope you find the same certainty with this move back to the UK. Good luck, I mean it. And please do update us!
Thanks! Main reason was missing family back in the UK and lots of other little things. Thing is wherever we are we're bound to have some issues, homesickness or other problems/struggles.

House is not selling as quickly as we'd like, so we're having to re-think things...do we take a hit and go or do we stick it out. We don't hate it here at all, life is pretty relaxed but when the pining for family happens it's really awful and like grieving. Whether that got better with time who knows. We are a bit mixed up at the moment Not good
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Old Sep 4th 2013, 3:06 pm
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by dannigirl
Thanks! Main reason was missing family back in the UK and lots of other little things. Thing is wherever we are we're bound to have some issues, homesickness or other problems/struggles.

House is not selling as quickly as we'd like, so we're having to re-think things...do we take a hit and go or do we stick it out. We don't hate it here at all, life is pretty relaxed but when the pining for family happens it's really awful and like grieving. Whether that got better with time who knows. We are a bit mixed up at the moment Not good
I'm sorry to hear that Danni, it sucks to have made up your mind and then be unable to act on it.

Won't someone buy Dannigirl's house
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Old Sep 5th 2013, 12:03 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

How much of a hit ?

It's winter. Your place may shift quicker come Spring weather.
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Old Sep 5th 2013, 1:42 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Mmmmm quite a bit, even if we sell for what we bought at we'd be about 20,000 down, plus we have to pay to get back to the UK, which in the grand scheme of things we could probably justify if we were desperate to get back. We kind of are......but don't desperately hate it here which makes it very difficult to lose so much on our house. Makes our deposit for the UK smaller which is hard to take too (but all our own fault!). I guess when we thought it would be quite "easy" to get back it seemed worth it, but lots of hurdles are jumping up in front of us. I am having a good spell where I don't miss everyone as much in the UK and am quite happy to get on with things, but when it turns it's really awful, but maybe I need to learn how to manage that better rather than simply move back because our day to day life in all honesty is better. Lifestyle wins hands down here, but when missing people and the UK feel isolated and "bored", under stimulated, insular.

Also the schools situation is a bit scary in the UK. Most schools over subscribed and it would take a while to sort that out. Schools here are very good and she gets a place ASAP. Plus we'd have to rent first and then buy and it all seems so stressful.

If you asked me today I'd stay, but am I just doing it because it's easier. We have really searched our souls over the last few weeks and the decision is not easy, we definitely have "analysis paralysis".

Neither of us want to make the decision in case it's the wrong one (and we both need to decide!).

I think I need to be sectioned! (Not intended to make light of anyone with mental illness but I honestly feel so anxious and stressed).

I just want to get on with life and stop stressing about everything. Wherever we end up we have both agreed that we have to go for it 100% and get a social circle and put ourselves out there.

As ever, will keep you posted.

Last edited by dannigirl; Sep 5th 2013 at 1:45 am.
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Old Sep 5th 2013, 1:48 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Good luck. I can relate to bored and understimulated. I think I will feel exactly as you do when our house is on the market, which is a couple of years down the track.

I've admitted to my husband that while I want to go back to Britain, I'm not yet ready to go back. That probably sounds contradictory.

Regarding Britain, I remind myself of higher income tax, national insurance contributions and 20% v.a.t. I further remind myself that I'm unemployed at present so even taxed income would be good. Even unemployment benefit (which I can't claim here as our household income is taken into consideration) would be a help.

If I think about returning to Britain long enough I get panicky about all the, 'what if, what if' that other returners get.

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Old Sep 5th 2013, 4:28 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by dannigirl
Mmmmm quite a bit, even if we sell for what we bought at we'd be about 20,000 down, plus we have to pay to get back to the UK, which in the grand scheme of things we could probably justify if we were desperate to get back. We kind of are......but don't desperately hate it here which makes it very difficult to lose so much on our house. Makes our deposit for the UK smaller which is hard to take too (but all our own fault!). I guess when we thought it would be quite "easy" to get back it seemed worth it, but lots of hurdles are jumping up in front of us. I am having a good spell where I don't miss everyone as much in the UK and am quite happy to get on with things, but when it turns it's really awful, but maybe I need to learn how to manage that better rather than simply move back because our day to day life in all honesty is better. Lifestyle wins hands down here, but when missing people and the UK feel isolated and "bored", under stimulated, insular.

Also the schools situation is a bit scary in the UK. Most schools over subscribed and it would take a while to sort that out. Schools here are very good and she gets a place ASAP. Plus we'd have to rent first and then buy and it all seems so stressful.

If you asked me today I'd stay, but am I just doing it because it's easier. We have really searched our souls over the last few weeks and the decision is not easy, we definitely have "analysis paralysis".

Neither of us want to make the decision in case it's the wrong one (and we both need to decide!).

I think I need to be sectioned! (Not intended to make light of anyone with mental illness but I honestly feel so anxious and stressed).

I just want to get on with life and stop stressing about everything. Wherever we end up we have both agreed that we have to go for it 100% and get a social circle and put ourselves out there.

As ever, will keep you posted.
Hi Dannigirl. I love reading your posts as you are always so honest with your feelings.

I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself thus making you feel anxious and stressed. Is there a great rush to sell the house? It would be a shame to loose out. I am a counsellor back home and so ill ask you a question which I ask my clients...

If you were to wake up tomorrow and you had your perfect life, no stress, happy, exactly where you wanted to be.... Where would that be? Would it be here or in England. What would you notice that was different about your life?

Maybe that may be an answer as to what to do next. Just a thought Hun.

Be kinder to yourself.
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Old Sep 29th 2013, 3:00 pm
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Default Re: Finally an update

Originally Posted by dannigirl
Mmmmm quite a bit, even if we sell for what we bought at we'd be about 20,000 down, plus we have to pay to get back to the UK, which in the grand scheme of things we could probably justify if we were desperate to get back. We kind of are......but don't desperately hate it here which makes it very difficult to lose so much on our house. Makes our deposit for the UK smaller which is hard to take too (but all our own fault!). I guess when we thought it would be quite "easy" to get back it seemed worth it, but lots of hurdles are jumping up in front of us. I am having a good spell where I don't miss everyone as much in the UK and am quite happy to get on with things, but when it turns it's really awful, but maybe I need to learn how to manage that better rather than simply move back because our day to day life in all honesty is better. Lifestyle wins hands down here, but when missing people and the UK feel isolated and "bored", under stimulated, insular.

Also the schools situation is a bit scary in the UK. Most schools over subscribed and it would take a while to sort that out. Schools here are very good and she gets a place ASAP. Plus we'd have to rent first and then buy and it all seems so stressful.

If you asked me today I'd stay, but am I just doing it because it's easier. We have really searched our souls over the last few weeks and the decision is not easy, we definitely have "analysis paralysis".

Neither of us want to make the decision in case it's the wrong one (and we both need to decide!).

I think I need to be sectioned! (Not intended to make light of anyone with mental illness but I honestly feel so anxious and stressed).

I just want to get on with life and stop stressing about everything. Wherever we end up we have both agreed that we have to go for it 100% and get a social circle and put ourselves out there.

As ever, will keep you posted.
Good luck with whatever you decide, must admit I thought you missed NZ as much as I did. Hope it is no to private but what family do you still have in NZ?

I have recently been back to NZ things have changed a lot as to be expected but cant wait until I move back permanently.
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Old Nov 14th 2013, 12:12 am
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Default Re: Finally an update

Well....having taken a bit of a break from BE I am back for my last instalment!


Drumroll.........we are back in the UK, Cardiff to be exact......and so far it's been wonderful (apart from getting used to driving in traffic again).

We sold our house in Dunedin for the price we wanted. Without the worry of losing money (other than what it has cost us to move there and back) it was a no brainer really. After a couple of weeks of trying to "live for now and in the moment" it became apparent that it was going to be too hard to live away from our family here. I was so fed up of grieving living people.

I am so thankful for the experience, I wish it didn't have to have cost as much or be as much hassle but I truly don't think I would change it for the world.

My main "issues" with NZ are very personal to me. I have general concerns but I have just as many about the UK. I definitely needed to go back to NZ to reconcile some "baggage". Not that I knew that at the beginning!

I really feel a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders, like I almost had to make the decision to come back to the UK as a proper adult, as a mum and wife...not as part of my OE which ended up being 11 years long.

I feel liberated and so much more positive about our future. I am so pleased to be back in the UK. We are surrounded by supportive, loving family who supported our move 100% but who are over the moon to have us back. I do miss my family in NZ, but it is just not the same type of relationship and we wanted more for our girls. I really have a new found love, tolerance and understanding of the UK. I hope it lasts!

I'll always miss NZ, it's my home and where a small piece of my heart is but my new home is Wales and I am so excited. Cardiff is a vibrant, exciting and busy city but has amazing access to countryside, beaches in the Gower, West Wales and Pembrokeshire. Plus easy access to London, beautiful parts of England and of course Europe.

As we have not been away that long it will hopefully be a bit more of an easy transition for us. Once we felt we couldn't "settle" in NZ we thought the sooner we returned the better. I have changed so much as a person over the 11 years I have been away from NZ.

We haven't been back long, but it has been pretty amazing to be back in the bustling UK. One of my biggest issues has been the maddening crowds of London. Cardiff is busy but not London busy, I'm sure I'll have plenty of gripes but I can understand when people feel they are alive when they are in the UK. I did feel a bit bored in Dunedin (not wanting to offend anyone, I can totally understand the appeal but it's just not for us(me) anymore).

So we are now setting ourselves up and trying to organise renting a house, finding a school and trying to organise Christmas!! Shopping has been amazing!

Who knows what the future holds, we may head back to NZ in a few years. We're open to anything, but for now we just want to enjoy our family here.


So....over and out for now. It's been an emotional journey and part of that journey has been BE. I don't think I'll be on here as much, but will lurk from time to time to see how people are getting on.

Dannigirl
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