sazzle1979

Hi All

I thought it was about time that I posted on here (after changing my account as my user name was way to obvious before!)

We have been in NZ for 6 months now and are wondering what on earth we have done. we whought we wanted the rural lifestyle but geez how I long for a walk in a national trust property or a beer in the local pub.

We sold our house in the UK to come here and are regretting it terribly, we look at the quality of houses here versus what we could purchase right now in the UK and it is so very tempting to high tail it out of here.

We are living in a damp freezing rental that is ruining all of our belonings and our health.

We have met some truly wonderful people here but sadly it is marred by the rude racist kiwis that we too come across on a day to day basis.

We have family here born and bred in New Zealand and we are even finding their attitude to Brits as completely negative.

Not to mention the cost of living my goodness everything is soo much more expensive than the research we did.

All i can say is i wish wish wish i had taken more attention to the posts on here before i left. I think one actually mentioned that you cannot tell a prospective migrant the negatives of New Zealand they will tell themselves it isnt true etc etc - that was me completely.

I heard all of your tales and thought you were all bonkers New Zealand is a wonderful place they dont know what they are talking about .

We we have huge eggs on our faces.

we have residency now but are not sure we even want to wait the 2 years to remove the travel conditions. I feel loyalty to my employer to stay for at least another 6 months but it is so very tempting to get the packers in and get on a plane.

Why in NZ when you ask someone "how are you?" do they continually reply with "i'm good". - no hint of a ... and "how are you?".

No please's or thank you's

everything is she'll be right.... well no it wont - we have made a huge mistake and our dreams are shattered.

I grew up loving this country and all of my many holidays here, I have even lived here before so knew what I was getting in to... or so I thought.

Whilst I am sure many of you reading this will think we havent even tried yet or havent tried to fit in, believe me we have - I have settled really well in to my work joined a netball team, my husband has bent over back wards to volunteeer to help people with jobs and to interact, spent two days shifting 2 tonnes of logs for my bosses parents not to even recieve a cup of tea or a thank you, because he is working for himself from home our lovely stuck up neighbours seem to think he is some kind of bum as they see me heading off to work every day. One even made the lovely

We have met many people we love to bits but where we are right now just is not for us.

We got stung hugely by the mechanics checking over my car that i imported form the UK to the tune of $5000 my car was immaculate and only 2004 not a hunk of junk at all and that started the downward spiral we have had 6 months of stress and it needs to stop.

Question is do we pack up now? stay put and wait out the 2 years wanting to go home or move to another area such as Nelson/Marlborough regions?

We thought buying a house would make us feel more settled but we just cant get up the courage to invest our money in the terrible properties here.

Sorry everyone i never dreamed the my post on here would be so negative, we are devestated that this isnt working and not sure how to fix it other than head back to blighty.

Thanks for listening everyone

BEVS

Rats! Horrible to read you & your family are not settling well for all sorts of reasons.

A bit difficult to know what to write with just your one post as reference. As a rule I would say you need to give it at least the 2 years . Not for the permanent residency thing but to get over the shock of the move and where you have moved to.

Thing is, in this day and age I have come to realise this can be an out of date approach . If someone is not settled then perhaps sometimes they really need to cut the losses - I do not mean financially - and return to reset their lives.

You have not said what work you do. I am in the Nelson and Bays area. It is a lovely area but can be remote.

As for your other half not working or doing volunteering work. Pot what other people say about that. You really must not care and neither should he. It says more about them than it does about yourselves.

Have you connected with any other 'expats' - immigrants is the right words - in your area. That may well help hugely.

Sue

I'm not in the NZ, so can't comment on that aspect, but know that many people feel like you during the first year no matter what country they move to. No matter how much research we have done prior to a move it's never enough and we feel like a fish out of water.

Over time your feelings may change and you may love it, or your will always feel like this. We are all different.

As you've taken so much time, money and effort to get there maybe stay for the two years but treat it like a working holiday? Play tourist as much as you can knowing that you are going to be moving back may help make happy memories of your time there.

LauraNotts

Hi Sazzle,

I think you posted on my thread and mentioned you were down South Canterbury way? I sympathise a lot with some of the points you made. I initially moved there and didn't settle well so decided to move to a different part of NZ. Rural UK and rural NZ are very different.

You have considerations I didn't as I am single and had no house either end of the earth. But at the end of the day what kept me here in NZ rather than home was a good period spent reflecting on why I was unhappy and what was needed to remedy it. I decided that it was worth my effort trying to fix the things that bugged me about rural isolation by trying Chch.

That worked for me but we're all different. Sit with it, try to pick out if its NZ or specific things about here and now and if you can realistically fix them here and that may help resolve the questions over what to do.

It sucks and its okay to talk about it

e4ebs

Hi Sazzle
I would give it a try in another area... and the sooner the better. We've moved town once in the five years since being in NZ, and it made a huge difference to our enjoyment of life here. If you don't feel like you can move towns in the near future, can you rent somewhere that's not damp or freezing? That will definitely be having a huge impact on how you are feeling.

Sparkleydiva

Hi there

I really feel for you and not sure what to advise. When we first arrived 6+ years ago we were in Tauranga and after 6 months of parochial living we moved to Auckland North Shore which was much better.

For the next 5 years it was much better, but again I feel like you do and am making plans to leave in about 12 months from now.

It might be worth a move, as I thought I would like rural life too, but actually hate it, as for me it is quite racist and narrow minded at times, whereas the 'cosmopolitan' CBD suits me much better.

Take care and good luck

barnsleymat

You've got to be over the moon with at least one thing, that my friend is a quality 28 carat diamond incrusted rant and a half.

I salute you, it's good to get it off your chest.

PS. You're 100% bang on with the houses, cost of living and that progress destroying 'she'll be alright' attitude.

Assanah

I hear you!
We stayed nearly three years although the we never really enjoyed NZ. We did what Sue suggested and treated the time there as a temporary adventure. In the end it was probably good that we stayed. We got to know NZ and we did enjoy the travelling and exploring! And no nagging doubts after our return to Europe. On the other hand what I really and truly regret is giving up our jobs in Germany to move to NZ in the first place!! As it turns out it is difficult for us to find two jobs in the same city. If you still can go back to your jobs in the UK returning now might be an option to consider (unless of course you guys both have sought after professions).

Maybe we should bombard all newbies on this forum with the advice 'why not try to move somewhere else in the UK first before immigrating'....not that I would have listened LOL

sazzle1979

Thanks everyone for your replies and some sound advice. We have some good thinking to do and wont rush into anything but my it is tempting to jump on a plane - just the 40ft container worth of stuff that is a hindrance!

In fact I am sure if we didnt have all of our kit we would be moving off to another city, the thuoght of another move is just so tiring I am not sure I have it in me.

bourbon-biscuit

Sounds tough going. Not much I can add to what others have said really. I do think Sue and Assanah are right in that, unless you could return to the same jobs/ same life as before, then you might as well try and see yourselves as here for a year or two. I have a friend in Auckland who desperately hates it here but has only really been OK since moving back was no longer an 'if' but a 'when', so maybe it would help to set a time limit and then commit to making the most of it here until then? Winter in a crap house can be dreadful in NZ. I'm not sure any research quite prepares you for it.

sazzle1979

Thanks Bourbon-biscuit yes i think you are right a light at the end of the tunnel to give us some motivation.

I think we would be ok if it wasnt for the fact that the house we are in is warping all of our beloved photos and ruining our things.

You are right I was never prepared for winter in a house like this we have had terrible weather in the UK but never never has we felt as cold and damp as this in our home.

No insulation, 1 x 20 year old 3kw heat pump to heat a 250sqm old villa

bourbon-biscuit

Ah, you fell for a villa. A few suggestions, which sound like they won't make much odds but they will reduce the damp (damp air is hard to heat and will wreck your belongings and health): 1. never dry laundry inside - use a line, use a drier (vented, if it's not drag it out into the garage), use the laundrette but not inside; that is a luxury for woodburner owners. 2. Only cook with pot lids on and an extractor going. 3. shower and bath in the morning if possible and use an extractor - if there isn't one, keep the bathroom door closed and open the window after showering/ bathing. 4. weeping windows - be very vigilant about the morning squeegee. I know some people who have bought the electric ones (about $120) and swear by them - I do old fashioned squeegee and towel but it takes 25mins a day and I'm in a small house. 5. Your house is massive - that heatpump will only be able to do one small room so if it's possible to shut that room off do that and make it your one living room. 6. Invest in a dehumidifier and use it 24/7. 7. Accept that you will have massive power bills. 7. Remember this will all be pretty much over by the end of August. 8. Get outside heaps - it's warmer out there

Villas are lovely - but unless they have been properly modernised they are a nightmare to rent. We needed a rental in a local dire rental shortage and ended up in an older house. I knew what we were getting into and started paying the power company $180 a fortnight in the summer but I reckon we'll still be out of pocket by winter's end. Renting in NZ is really really dire - I can't tell you how much better you feel buying your own place and sorting the insulation and heating.

Deley

Hi Sazzle1979,
I can really identify with that feeling to want to hop on a plane back home. My family used to fly up to Auckland for visits and whenever I picked/dropped them off at the airport I used to sob, the urge to just get on a plane and go home was overwhelming. It does get better over time. We were initially in Auckland and I was very unhappy there but we moved near to Christchurch with the idea of giving it a go before returning back to the UK. Helps because I have family in Christchurch but I think we will return (other half doing recci back in the UK at the moment). Has you have come this far, its a good idea to try somewhere else and it does sound like your house is not helping, just a different house could make a huge difference. Treating being in New Zealand as a working holiday is great advice, we have made some great memories.

sazzle1979

Thanks All

May have slightly over exaggerated the size of the house ?? perhaps 200sqm oh who knows big old crappy villa and yes like you Bourbon-Biscuit i took what i could get as there were/are no decent rentals here.

May take the owner up on his offer of loaning a dehumidifier, a lady at work has offered me another oil heater.

Thanks everyone it is so lovely to have support on here from people that understand as sadly my kiwi family take great offence to us not being happy here. I agree having a better home would make such a difference need to summons some energy from somewhere.

Full of cold doesnt help

Still off to Akaroa for the weekend to celebrate our first wedding anniversary ! wahooooooo a cottage with a log burner!

Bo-Jangles

Hopefully some warmth in your bones will help cheer things up for you.

I remember our first winter here was the most miserable and dysfunctional period of my life. Being cold and simply not being able to function and think about anything else other than keeping warm was just horrendous; having the oven on or getting out of the house going out in the car with heating on full blast was such a treat. We thoroughly enjoyed a weekend break at a Motel in Hamilton that had proper radiators - we cranked them up and were dancing around for joy.

The second winter was not much better but each passing year we've made small improvements and learned the little tricks to coping and getting the house warmer but it has taken time and is still not ideal.

Today they say has been the coldest day ever on record for May (second day of frost in Auckland): so I daresay there'll be a few here that haven't experienced proper NZ winter as it was really mild last year and will be in a similar position to you just now thinking WTF happened

I've been at work all day and started to dread how cold it was going to be at home, so now I'm home in possession of two new hot water bottles and wearing a new pair of fleecy socks.

Take up the offer of that dehumidifier asap, it will make a big difference to your comfort, sanity and wellbeing.