Cassa

I was talking to a friend the other day. She and her other half have just moved to Wellington from the UK. She was telling me how busy they are meeting people, which is great. THen she said that they were all English or expats of sorts. Its struck me that its odd really that we move away from our own culture then try and recreate it when we arrive in our new destination.

Although NZ has not worked out for me at this stage in my life, I have used this year here to make friends with many many Kiwis. People I am sure I will know for life.

So reallly the question is, why do expats all group together ? Are they missing out on emerging themselves into their new homes and cultures?

Damages

A very very interesting point. It must be one for the psychologists. It seems to happen everywhere and is the reason for the development of ghettos. It is startlingly apparent in the UK where we have this 'multicultural society'. It would seem that what we need is a great big melting pot but unfortunately the bastards don't melt, they just kind of coagulate. Phyl and I are of the few who have melted and have churned out some coffee people. Another interesting phenomenon is how the indigenous population view foreign immigrants. Usually with cliches like
"I don't know they come over here and take our............"

Interestingly yesterdays immigrants (eg. West Indian in UK) are todays indigenous and they join with everyone else with the chorus when talking about (for eg. Eastern Europeans)

"I don't know they come over here and take our.........."

I'm sure this happens in NZ too. Poms who have been settled in NZ for a long long time (eg Kiwijet) are yesterdays immigrants but todays indigenous and therefore become overtly patriotic when their 'home' is criticised. (Oddly I am defensive myself when Oz is attacked)

Well done Cassa for your excellent observation.


Regards

Ali

davepoole

People do it for comfort, humans make communities, these take time to build so many form communities based on shared expereinces or beliefs, in this case shared country of origin and shared experience of moving to another country.

Simplistic but in the end human life is simplistic.

I usually like to stray from the norm but im sure i will make some English friends when im over in NZ.

Cassa

Or you might even make some Scottish, Welsh or Irish friends!!

davepoole

only if im very,very very fortunate indeed.

Im southern so this is tongue in cheek, do not want to cause offence but
a mate of mine coming down from manchester was told to stop off at birmingham to get used to people less friendly.

I must say in my opinion peeps from up north or in scotland or ireland are easier to get along with, or that they are easy to talk to?

dave

Cassa

Yes I do hear that a lot. I think it is true. Not so much in the very English places within Scotland, for exampe, Edinburgh. More southerners than Scots! But go north or even borders etc and of course not forgetting Glasgow then yes it is very friendly.

Don

I guess it's the comfort factor of dealing with the known and a similar cultural background?

Where I live now (Central Europe) I used to be very expat-ish, ie going to expat pubs and mostly having expat mates - though my girlfriends were mostly local, not too difficult a choice as they generally put the Brits to shame! (I could sit you down at an outside bar in one popular square in town and you'd see more drop-dead gorgeous beauties in an hour than you see in an average UK city in a year. )

Now (8 years on) I'm married with 3 kids and we go out to eat rather than to pubs, plus moved out from the city to the countryside so the expat pub thing has long gone. No real expat mates apart from one English guy who lives in my village who I meet for a beer or meal a couple of times a year.

So I guess for many the expat thing will fade with time. Did for me.

Sally1

As per the simplistic vie of humans explanation, I agree. I hoping to met expats when I am in NZ as moving all those miles away to a new coutry, it gives me comfort to know that there are people ove there that may have experienced the emotions nad feelings that I am expecting to go through when Imove. I am hoping that those expats can help me settle and offer words of advice and encouragement, HOWEVER, I am a friendly, outgoing person and make friends easily an definitely lookin forward to having kiwi friends and blending into the kiwi community......in time.

P.S - I'm from Birmingham so the comment about stopping off in Birmingham to meet "not so friendly people" is a load of rubbish. We are very friendly people and view the south as a difficult place for us to get on with people (I work in Luton). Birmingham is the 2nd biggest city in the UK, so just like everywhere, depends on where you go. Nuff said!

Don

Bit O/T but I lived & worked in Brum for 4 years and I have to say you Brummies were quite unfriendly to this Bucks boy. I have never experienced such prejudice against an accent/ against a southern background before or since or elsewhere in the UK!

Brummies seem to have a big chip on their shoulder about something and just plain don't like southerners at first sight, once they get to know you it can be quite different.

Sally1

Hey Don, I must be the exception to the rule then! I'm lovely
Not going to argue, have nothin to prove!

Batty

Hi - easy Irish person here. Not cheap tho' We Irish love stories and everyone's got a story to tell and want to talk about themselves, so we're all happy. A bit simplistic I know but there is a grain of truth in there. People find this hard to believe but when I lived in London I often got talking to people on the tube And when I lived in The Hague my friends were from every country under the sun because of the United Nations connection. A smile goes a long way when you meet new people.

lapsed kiwi

To answer the original question - could it be that it's beacuse you will have a common outlook on life? Not that you come from the same place, but that you have been willing and able to change country to get the lifestyle you want, which puts you in a minority?

sky

Yea ... I agree with that view, you have so much to talk about and in common with each other.
Why is it the British folk feel so ashamed when they create a little community in another country.
Most Cultures do it and are never ashamed ... they would be shocked if you suggested it wasn't normal or tried to take it away from them.
I have kiwi friends and UK friends ... I can have fun with my kiwi friends but my UK friends REALLY know how it feels 'inside' to immigrate with your family

Sally1

Well said SKY

sunshine_and_rain

I agree too - I love my kiwi mates, but, my pommie mates know how it feels to your family and cope on the other side of the world. We all have different friends for different reasons I think though - wherever we live in the world. A friend who always gives us comfort, a friend who always makes us laugh, a friend who always knows the right thing to say at the right time, a friend to get drunk with - and if we're lucky a friend who is all of those rolled into one and will always be your best mate - wherever you are in the world.