Why....
#1
Why....
do people leave a country go back from whence they came BUT still post about how crap previous country was? It would be like me lurking on a copper's forum slating all the plonkers I had to put up with. Why on earth don't folk let sleeping dogs lie and get on with their lives. I see no point in being on a forum that you have no reason to sign into. I guess some might say they are trying to help people be aware of all the crap. It is not because I don't think NZ should slated now and then because it should. It has more than enough negative points to debate. But there are enough people like me and others who currently reside here to let people know of the down sides.
#2
you dewty owld maan!
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565
Re: Why....
do people leave a country go back from whence they came BUT still post about how crap previous country was? It would be like me lurking on a copper's forum slating all the plonkers I had to put up with. Why on earth don't folk let sleeping dogs lie and get on with their lives. I see no point in being on a forum that you have no reason to sign into. I guess some might say they are trying to help people be aware of all the crap. It is not because I don't think NZ should slated now and then because it should. It has more than enough negative points to debate. But there are enough people like me and others who currently reside here to let people know of the down sides.
I think you need to make the distinction between the "sinner" and the "sin".
Your analogy might explain why these people cause you so much ire?
It's not necessarily the people who are here and enjoying it that these posters are bemoning it's the system, the way NZ works (or doesn't), the things they hated - it's not about all Kiwis or all of NZ.
Don't take it so personally, this is a forum, people have views, they may be right or wrong, the subjective stuff does help either way......if we can take it in context and take time to look at where the person is and what they are posting about. I konw that it can put off some noobs, but then that's the nature of forums.......
Let people get it off their chest, it's their right and they often have a useful perspective.
Just my 2 cents.
#3
Re: Why....
I can understand it, sorry you can't........
I think you need to make the distinction between the "sinner" and the "sin".
Your analogy might explain why these people cause you so much ire?
It's not necessarily the people who are here and enjoying it that these posters are bemoning it's the system, the way NZ works (or doesn't), the things they hated - it's not about all Kiwis or all of NZ.
Don't take it so personally, this is a forum, people have views, they may be right or wrong, the subjective stuff does help either way......if we can take it in context and take time to look at where the person is and what they are posting about. I konw that it can put off some noobs, but then that's the nature of forums.......
Let people get it off their chest, it's their right and they often have a useful perspective.
Just my 2 cents.
I think you need to make the distinction between the "sinner" and the "sin".
Your analogy might explain why these people cause you so much ire?
It's not necessarily the people who are here and enjoying it that these posters are bemoning it's the system, the way NZ works (or doesn't), the things they hated - it's not about all Kiwis or all of NZ.
Don't take it so personally, this is a forum, people have views, they may be right or wrong, the subjective stuff does help either way......if we can take it in context and take time to look at where the person is and what they are posting about. I konw that it can put off some noobs, but then that's the nature of forums.......
Let people get it off their chest, it's their right and they often have a useful perspective.
Just my 2 cents.
#4
you dewty owld maan!
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565
Re: Why....
Some people respond like that - if they suffer they set up self-help groups (in the extreme you might say) they network with like-minded people, it becomes their obsession. Other people wonder why. Can't speak for them all but I can see it and I can understand it.
Sometimes these groups effect great changes, just look at Northern Ireland. Not saying it's the same but the reaction could be of a similar type - other people in the same situation might just throw their hands up in the air and say I'll move on.......without that diversity then we'd be a poorer species, IMO......
Anyway I'm glad to be in NZ our move has been great but I will still get on my hobby horse as I think that people need to know what they are letting themselves in for and I'm glad that others did the same before me.....
Chin Up Genesis
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: bottom of the world
Posts: 4,533
Re: Why....
Having made a similar move many years ago that turned out to be unsuccessful
and then returning to the uk i can tell you it takes A LOT to get over the emotional
rollercoaster of a failed migration. When you plan it you go throught all the
worry and excitement of the move and then you invest so much of yourself
in your new home trying to make it work. When it doesnt work out it comes as
a hammer blow and simply going home does not put to rest the personal turnoil
you feel when your dream dies, it hurts, and the recovery proccess is much like grieving in
that there are stages you have to work through before you reach acceptance.
Denial, anger, and even depression are all part of getting your life back on track.
Dont think its just a case of going home, getting on with things and ignoring everything
that has happened, its not that easy.
When our 1st migration dream ended the internet wasnt around so we couldnt
vent online but we did have some understanding friends who allowed us to
talk about how we felt.
Today we have places like this where we can all speak our minds openly.
Its a way for those who go home to work through thier emotions so they can
move forward in their new lives and release any negativity they feel about
the whole migration experiance.
That is why they come on here and we should respect them for at least
having the courage to have given it a go in the first place and even more so
for being able to admit to themselves and others that their dream has died.
Having been on both sides of the fence i can speak from experiance that the
latter is the harder to do.
and then returning to the uk i can tell you it takes A LOT to get over the emotional
rollercoaster of a failed migration. When you plan it you go throught all the
worry and excitement of the move and then you invest so much of yourself
in your new home trying to make it work. When it doesnt work out it comes as
a hammer blow and simply going home does not put to rest the personal turnoil
you feel when your dream dies, it hurts, and the recovery proccess is much like grieving in
that there are stages you have to work through before you reach acceptance.
Denial, anger, and even depression are all part of getting your life back on track.
Dont think its just a case of going home, getting on with things and ignoring everything
that has happened, its not that easy.
When our 1st migration dream ended the internet wasnt around so we couldnt
vent online but we did have some understanding friends who allowed us to
talk about how we felt.
Today we have places like this where we can all speak our minds openly.
Its a way for those who go home to work through thier emotions so they can
move forward in their new lives and release any negativity they feel about
the whole migration experiance.
That is why they come on here and we should respect them for at least
having the courage to have given it a go in the first place and even more so
for being able to admit to themselves and others that their dream has died.
Having been on both sides of the fence i can speak from experiance that the
latter is the harder to do.
#6
Re: Why....
Having made a similar move many years ago that turned out to be unsuccessful
and then returning to the uk i can tell you it takes A LOT to get over the emotional
rollercoaster of a failed migration. When you plan it you go throught all the
worry and excitement of the move and then you invest so much of yourself
in your new home trying to make it work. When it doesnt work out it comes as
a hammer blow and simply going home does not put to rest the personal turnoil
you feel when your dream dies, it hurts, and the recovery proccess is much like grieving in
that there are stages you have to work through before you reach acceptance.
Denial, anger, and even depression are all part of getting your life back on track.
Dont think its just a case of going home, getting on with things and ignoring everything
that has happened, its not that easy.
When our 1st migration dream ended the internet wasnt around so we couldnt
vent online but we did have some understanding friends who allowed us to
talk about how we felt.
Today we have places like this where we can all speak our minds openly.
Its a way for those who go home to work through thier emotions so they can
move forward in their new lives and release any negativity they feel about
the whole migration experiance.
That is why they come on here and we should respect them for at least
having the courage to have given it a go in the first place and even more so
for being able to admit to themselves and others that their dream has died.
Having been on both sides of the fence i can speak from experiance that the
latter is the harder to do.
and then returning to the uk i can tell you it takes A LOT to get over the emotional
rollercoaster of a failed migration. When you plan it you go throught all the
worry and excitement of the move and then you invest so much of yourself
in your new home trying to make it work. When it doesnt work out it comes as
a hammer blow and simply going home does not put to rest the personal turnoil
you feel when your dream dies, it hurts, and the recovery proccess is much like grieving in
that there are stages you have to work through before you reach acceptance.
Denial, anger, and even depression are all part of getting your life back on track.
Dont think its just a case of going home, getting on with things and ignoring everything
that has happened, its not that easy.
When our 1st migration dream ended the internet wasnt around so we couldnt
vent online but we did have some understanding friends who allowed us to
talk about how we felt.
Today we have places like this where we can all speak our minds openly.
Its a way for those who go home to work through thier emotions so they can
move forward in their new lives and release any negativity they feel about
the whole migration experiance.
That is why they come on here and we should respect them for at least
having the courage to have given it a go in the first place and even more so
for being able to admit to themselves and others that their dream has died.
Having been on both sides of the fence i can speak from experiance that the
latter is the harder to do.
#8
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 445
Re: Why....
do people leave a country go back from whence they came BUT still post about how crap previous country was? It would be like me lurking on a copper's forum slating all the plonkers I had to put up with. Why on earth don't folk let sleeping dogs lie and get on with their lives. I see no point in being on a forum that you have no reason to sign into. I guess some might say they are trying to help people be aware of all the crap. It is not because I don't think NZ should slated now and then because it should. It has more than enough negative points to debate. But there are enough people like me and others who currently reside here to let people know of the down sides.
I presume you aimed that at me, why do you post on the Returning to the UK forum?
I post on here as it is still a habit I suppose and I only comment on things I have experience of, unlike yourself who must be BEP most prolific poster. You need to get a job Dude.
Last edited by mcuddy1; Jun 22nd 2010 at 9:42 pm.
#9
Re: Why....
Well Dude
I presume you aimed that at me, why do you post on the Returning to the UK forum?
I post on here as it is still a habit I suppose and I only comment on things I have experience of, unlike yourself who must be BEP most prolific poster. You need to get a job Dude.
I presume you aimed that at me, why do you post on the Returning to the UK forum?
I post on here as it is still a habit I suppose and I only comment on things I have experience of, unlike yourself who must be BEP most prolific poster. You need to get a job Dude.
If you look at my posts you will see a fair few are helping people and keeping people up to speed with NZ stats..both good and bad.
And pray tell me what do I post about that I have no experience of OR that I am not allowed to have an opinion on??? I look forward to your reply.
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 445
Re: Why....
Nope, don't need a job, my wife earns enough thank you. I do not post on returning to the Uk saying the country is crap.
If you look at my posts you will see a fair few are helping people and keeping people up to speed with NZ stats..both good and bad.
And pray tell me what do I post about that I have no experience of OR that I am not allowed to have an opinion on??? I look forward to your reply.
If you look at my posts you will see a fair few are helping people and keeping people up to speed with NZ stats..both good and bad.
And pray tell me what do I post about that I have no experience of OR that I am not allowed to have an opinion on??? I look forward to your reply.
Never said you have no experience and right to comment just you post a lot on most subjects LOL, just quoted I only comment on things I have experienced myself. Reading things into it again?
You post mainly goes along the lines of, This is shit, this is shit but I love it here. Are you trying to convince yourself you like it in NZ?
What's it like to be a kept man, do you feel fulfilled and how does that go down with the macho kiwi's and do you wear a pinny?
#11
Re: Why....
Never said you posted on the UK forum saying it was crap, just that you do post there. Jumping to conclusions again?
Never said you have no experience and right to comment just you post a lot on most subjects LOL, just quoted I only comment on things I have experienced myself. Reading things into it again?
You post mainly goes along the lines of, This is shit, this is shit but I love it here. Are you trying to convince yourself you like it in NZ?
What's it like to be a kept man, do you feel fulfilled and how does that go down with the macho kiwi's and do you wear a pinny?
Never said you have no experience and right to comment just you post a lot on most subjects LOL, just quoted I only comment on things I have experienced myself. Reading things into it again?
You post mainly goes along the lines of, This is shit, this is shit but I love it here. Are you trying to convince yourself you like it in NZ?
What's it like to be a kept man, do you feel fulfilled and how does that go down with the macho kiwi's and do you wear a pinny?
Do I feel fulfilled? In some ways yes and in some ways no. Nothing to do with being 'retired' I love not having to go to work but I am looking for something else to do with my free time having just finished an educational course and now that most of the work needed on our shed is done. Having said that as long as my kids remain happy and stay healthy (ditto my wife) I guess I don't really need much more fulfillment. On a final note I have achieved waaaaaaaaaaaaay more that I ever thought I would OR could at 51 years so I guess all is good. I am very lucky that I have the time and the money to make choices aye?
Last edited by Genesis; Jun 23rd 2010 at 11:58 pm.
#12
Re: Why....
Brings back memories of comments my husband's 'best mate' made to him, when he was able to retire at 52. Some comment about Marigold Gloves and an apron, I recall
Smacks of envy! and so denotes your own status in life! (If you have one!)
#13
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 445
Re: Why....
Bit below the belt there, when you obviously have no knowledge or understanding of his specific situation.
Brings back memories of comments my husband's 'best mate' made to him, when he was able to retire at 52. Some comment about Marigold Gloves and an apron, I recall
Smacks of envy! and so denotes your own status in life! (If you have one!)
Brings back memories of comments my husband's 'best mate' made to him, when he was able to retire at 52. Some comment about Marigold Gloves and an apron, I recall
Smacks of envy! and so denotes your own status in life! (If you have one!)
At least he took it with a pinch of salt, but alas insults from one of the coven up north.
You must wear the pants in your house, now why am I not surprised at that!!!!!!!!!!!
#14
Re: Why....
I just didn't rise to your attempted slurs upon my limited manhood. Sticks and stones aye? I have long since tired of those who seem irked by the 'comfort zone' I have achieved in NZ. Why can't people accept gracefully it works for some of us and not for others? Getting sorted in NZ has not been easy nor a bed of roses. We have had to contend with the good, the bad and very the ugly in our five years. We have had some good luck and some really bad luck. Swings and roundabouts.