Where to start?
Mar 15th 2011, 11:44 am
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: London
Posts: 5
Where to start?
Hello there, I am a UK resident who has been in a seven month online relationship with a NZ resident. I finally managed to get out there with my children for the past month to see how things translated into 'real life'. It was wonderful and now we both want myself and my children to move out there permanently.
Looking on the NZ Immigration website under the terms for residency it states that we have to have been living together for twelve months. My question is how am I supposed to get over to NZ and have the opportunity to live with him for twelve months before making an application?
A visitor's visa only lasts six months - and am I also right in thinking that if you come over on a visitor's visa, you are then not allowed back in the country for the amount of time you were there? i.e. if you stayed for six months you're not allowed back for six months.
We both want this very much but the whole system seems such a minefield I've no idea of where to begin.
Apologies for the length of the post. I'd be grateful for any advice anyone could offer.
Looking on the NZ Immigration website under the terms for residency it states that we have to have been living together for twelve months. My question is how am I supposed to get over to NZ and have the opportunity to live with him for twelve months before making an application?
A visitor's visa only lasts six months - and am I also right in thinking that if you come over on a visitor's visa, you are then not allowed back in the country for the amount of time you were there? i.e. if you stayed for six months you're not allowed back for six months.
We both want this very much but the whole system seems such a minefield I've no idea of where to begin.
Apologies for the length of the post. I'd be grateful for any advice anyone could offer.
Mar 15th 2011, 11:33 pm
#2
Queen of the Underworld
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: In NZ!
Posts: 4,785
Re: Where to start?
I don't want to sound negative but there are quite a few potential problems you may face. Some of these are emotional and some are practical.
A little bit of background: I met my NZ partner on holiday, we went back to our own countries and managed to meet up every 3-4m for a couple of years spending about 6months in total together. Expensive but fun! The most time we spent together in one 'holiday' was 2months. Luckily I could gain PR in my own right via my profession so I did not need him in order to gain residency. I also did not have children to take into account and came with the attitude of if it doesn't work out then I can always go back.
The emotional issues to think about: have you spent enough time physically together to feel able to make such a life changing decision, after all being on holiday is not the same as living somewhere or with someone. We are all on our best behaviour when we first meet someone
What will you do if it doesn't work out, how do your children feel about this, what do your parents think about it, what about the children's father? Would your partner consider moving to the UK [maybe temporarily] especially if he doesn't have children? You haven't said whether he does or not but this would involve less upheaval on your children's part. So many questions you need to ask yourself and there are many more than the above
Visas: as you stated you cannot gain PR under partnership unless you have been living together for 12m or more and can prove it so this is not an option. Even if you came over as a visitor for 6m then what will you do about the children- I'm not sure but I do think you will have to pay for their education if on a visitor's visa. It also does not give you enough time together to qualify for residency. The other aspect of that is who will pay your living expenses. If you enter NZ as a visitor you do need to have a flight booked out of NZ within the time your visa is valid and also may have to prove that you have enough funds to support yourself for the time you plan to be here. Do you work or do you have a qualification or work experience that could allow you to apply under your own steam?
The only other option I know of is a temporary work visa issued under partnership but it appears that you would need to be living with him when you apply. I do not know whether you can apply via this route: http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migra...milystream.htm It is the only way I can think of at the moment though I am not an expert on NZIS! It is hard to say without more information. You may need to consider speaking to an immigration agent about your chances and options. This is not going to be easy and may not be possible I'm afraid.
You will also need to gain permission from the children's father to allow them to emigrate to NZ. NZIS will require this - there is a thread on here called 'Step Children' which may shed some light on the issues people have had when children are involved. This may or may not be an issue for you depending on your circumstances.
I'm sorry that I can't be more positive in terms of helping you, hope you find some way through the visa situation. I know I've asked lots of questions, these are partly to gain more info that may help us help you but also to bring up points that you may not have considered. I hope this doesn't come across as nosey or patronising, it is not meant to be.
A little bit of background: I met my NZ partner on holiday, we went back to our own countries and managed to meet up every 3-4m for a couple of years spending about 6months in total together. Expensive but fun! The most time we spent together in one 'holiday' was 2months. Luckily I could gain PR in my own right via my profession so I did not need him in order to gain residency. I also did not have children to take into account and came with the attitude of if it doesn't work out then I can always go back.
The emotional issues to think about: have you spent enough time physically together to feel able to make such a life changing decision, after all being on holiday is not the same as living somewhere or with someone. We are all on our best behaviour when we first meet someone
What will you do if it doesn't work out, how do your children feel about this, what do your parents think about it, what about the children's father? Would your partner consider moving to the UK [maybe temporarily] especially if he doesn't have children? You haven't said whether he does or not but this would involve less upheaval on your children's part. So many questions you need to ask yourself and there are many more than the aboveVisas: as you stated you cannot gain PR under partnership unless you have been living together for 12m or more and can prove it so this is not an option. Even if you came over as a visitor for 6m then what will you do about the children- I'm not sure but I do think you will have to pay for their education if on a visitor's visa. It also does not give you enough time together to qualify for residency. The other aspect of that is who will pay your living expenses. If you enter NZ as a visitor you do need to have a flight booked out of NZ within the time your visa is valid and also may have to prove that you have enough funds to support yourself for the time you plan to be here. Do you work or do you have a qualification or work experience that could allow you to apply under your own steam?
The only other option I know of is a temporary work visa issued under partnership but it appears that you would need to be living with him when you apply. I do not know whether you can apply via this route: http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migra...milystream.htm It is the only way I can think of at the moment though I am not an expert on NZIS! It is hard to say without more information. You may need to consider speaking to an immigration agent about your chances and options. This is not going to be easy and may not be possible I'm afraid.
You will also need to gain permission from the children's father to allow them to emigrate to NZ. NZIS will require this - there is a thread on here called 'Step Children' which may shed some light on the issues people have had when children are involved. This may or may not be an issue for you depending on your circumstances.
I'm sorry that I can't be more positive in terms of helping you, hope you find some way through the visa situation. I know I've asked lots of questions, these are partly to gain more info that may help us help you but also to bring up points that you may not have considered. I hope this doesn't come across as nosey or patronising, it is not meant to be.
Mar 16th 2011, 12:18 am
#3
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: London
Posts: 5
Re: Where to start?
I don't want to sound negative but there are quite a few potential problems you may face. Some of these are emotional and some are practical.
A little bit of background: I met my NZ partner on holiday, we went back to our own countries and managed to meet up every 3-4m for a couple of years spending about 6months in total together. Expensive but fun! The most time we spent together in one 'holiday' was 2months. Luckily I could gain PR in my own right via my profession so I did not need him in order to gain residency. I also did not have children to take into account and came with the attitude of if it doesn't work out then I can always go back.
The emotional issues to think about: have you spent enough time physically together to feel able to make such a life changing decision, after all being on holiday is not the same as living somewhere or with someone. We are all on our best behaviour when we first meet someone What will you do if it doesn't work out, how do your children feel about this, what do your parents think about it, what about the children's father? Would your partner consider moving to the UK [maybe temporarily] especially if he doesn't have children? You haven't said whether he does or not but this would involve less upheaval on your children's part. So many questions you need to ask yourself and there are many more than the above
Visas: as you stated you cannot gain PR under partnership unless you have been living together for 12m or more and can prove it so this is not an option. Even if you came over as a visitor for 6m then what will you do about the children- I'm not sure but I do think you will have to pay for their education if on a visitor's visa. It also does not give you enough time together to qualify for residency. The other aspect of that is who will pay your living expenses. If you enter NZ as a visitor you do need to have a flight booked out of NZ within the time your visa is valid and also may have to prove that you have enough funds to support yourself for the time you plan to be here. Do you work or do you have a qualification or work experience that could allow you to apply under your own steam?
The only other option I know of is a temporary work visa issued under partnership but it appears that you would need to be living with him when you apply. I do not know whether you can apply via this route: http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migra...milystream.htm It is the only way I can think of at the moment though I am not an expert on NZIS! It is hard to say without more information. You may need to consider speaking to an immigration agent about your chances and options. This is not going to be easy and may not be possible I'm afraid.
You will also need to gain permission from the children's father to allow them to emigrate to NZ. NZIS will require this - there is a thread on here called 'Step Children' which may shed some light on the issues people have had when children are involved. This may or may not be an issue for you depending on your circumstances.
I'm sorry that I can't be more positive in terms of helping you, hope you find some way through the visa situation. I know I've asked lots of questions, these are partly to gain more info that may help us help you but also to bring up points that you may not have considered. I hope this doesn't come across as nosey or patronising, it is not meant to be.
A little bit of background: I met my NZ partner on holiday, we went back to our own countries and managed to meet up every 3-4m for a couple of years spending about 6months in total together. Expensive but fun! The most time we spent together in one 'holiday' was 2months. Luckily I could gain PR in my own right via my profession so I did not need him in order to gain residency. I also did not have children to take into account and came with the attitude of if it doesn't work out then I can always go back.
The emotional issues to think about: have you spent enough time physically together to feel able to make such a life changing decision, after all being on holiday is not the same as living somewhere or with someone. We are all on our best behaviour when we first meet someone
What will you do if it doesn't work out, how do your children feel about this, what do your parents think about it, what about the children's father? Would your partner consider moving to the UK [maybe temporarily] especially if he doesn't have children? You haven't said whether he does or not but this would involve less upheaval on your children's part. So many questions you need to ask yourself and there are many more than the aboveVisas: as you stated you cannot gain PR under partnership unless you have been living together for 12m or more and can prove it so this is not an option. Even if you came over as a visitor for 6m then what will you do about the children- I'm not sure but I do think you will have to pay for their education if on a visitor's visa. It also does not give you enough time together to qualify for residency. The other aspect of that is who will pay your living expenses. If you enter NZ as a visitor you do need to have a flight booked out of NZ within the time your visa is valid and also may have to prove that you have enough funds to support yourself for the time you plan to be here. Do you work or do you have a qualification or work experience that could allow you to apply under your own steam?
The only other option I know of is a temporary work visa issued under partnership but it appears that you would need to be living with him when you apply. I do not know whether you can apply via this route: http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migra...milystream.htm It is the only way I can think of at the moment though I am not an expert on NZIS! It is hard to say without more information. You may need to consider speaking to an immigration agent about your chances and options. This is not going to be easy and may not be possible I'm afraid.
You will also need to gain permission from the children's father to allow them to emigrate to NZ. NZIS will require this - there is a thread on here called 'Step Children' which may shed some light on the issues people have had when children are involved. This may or may not be an issue for you depending on your circumstances.
I'm sorry that I can't be more positive in terms of helping you, hope you find some way through the visa situation. I know I've asked lots of questions, these are partly to gain more info that may help us help you but also to bring up points that you may not have considered. I hope this doesn't come across as nosey or patronising, it is not meant to be.
As far as things go emotionally I think the fact we had a seven month 'courtship' before actually meeting set us in good stead. We both have children, so the decision to take the next step in coming to NZ and spending some initial time together was not taken lightly by either of us. I was very concerned that it should not feel like a holiday romance, and to be honest there was little chance of that given that we've five children between us!
It was a big risk, especially because there are children involved, but everything clicked. My own children formed a very strong bond with my partner over an intense period of time and without them expressing an interest in living in NZ entirely off their own backs I would no doubt feel guilty about pushing something as enormous as this onto them. I have approached my ex-husband (the boys' father) and indicated to him what my wishes are. I hope to meet him to discuss things soon. That's the initial obstacle and I see it as a debate that could go either way. I am very aware I need his consent.
My partner's children are in NZ and he plays a huge part in their lives, seeing them a week on / week off, so him coming to the UK even temporarily isn't really an option.
As far as my work potential is concerned, unfortunately I haven't worked since I had children, which is ten years now. I have a degree in dramatic studies and was working as a legal secretary before I left to have children. I realise this is not enough to apply for PR in my own right.
I've had a look at the link you inserted, but it's probably better to review it in the morning when I'm not feeling so tired. Thank you.
Your response doesn't come across as nosey or patronising either, I'm already beginning to realise that the slightest detail can make a huge difference.
Last question before I head to bed; do you think it's worth paying a visit to immigration at New Zealand House in order to try and find a potential solution? What are the bureaucrats like regarding this sort of thing? I'm already expecting a dismissive response from them...
Thanks for your reply.
Mar 16th 2011, 1:09 am
#4
It is what it is Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Blockhouse Bay, Auckland
Posts: 2,797
Re: Where to start?
Also worth considering how the children's father supports them, the CSA won't automatically continue to be involved once children and parents are not all living in the UK so if you rely on the CSA be prepared. There is a thread on here in the last couple of days delaing with that specifically.
One route would be for your kiwi partner to join you in the UK for a year, it doesn't matter where in the world you have been living together in the relationship, just as long as you have sufficient evidence.
NZIS will allow a deferral and issue a temp work visa where they believe the relationship meets all the criteria but just needs some more time to meet the minimum time period. I think you would need to work hard to convince them due to the short time you have been together but if you make the case there is a possible route. Check the Ops Manual on the NZIS website.
One route would be for your kiwi partner to join you in the UK for a year, it doesn't matter where in the world you have been living together in the relationship, just as long as you have sufficient evidence.
NZIS will allow a deferral and issue a temp work visa where they believe the relationship meets all the criteria but just needs some more time to meet the minimum time period. I think you would need to work hard to convince them due to the short time you have been together but if you make the case there is a possible route. Check the Ops Manual on the NZIS website.
Mar 16th 2011, 2:08 am
#5
Queen of the Underworld
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: In NZ!
Posts: 4,785
Re: Where to start?
Hi,
Him having children does make it tricky in terms of him moving to the UK so it sounds like that option is out.
You do sound more realistic than it appeared from your first post and it does sound like you've done some research on your options Sorry to ask the multitude of questions.
By all means go into NZ House and ask, I did the same when I applied and found them very helpful. However it helps to do enough research beforehand so you know what questions to ask. I would also consider speaking to an immigration agent who may have had experience of similar cases to yours. In fact an immigration agent may be preferable in that they are working for you though it certainly wouldn't do any harm to ask at NZ House about the temp work visas for partners.
I didn't use an agent myself so can't recommend any though others may come along who can help you more. I don't normally suggest using one if a case is 'easy' as it's usually simple enough to apply yourself but given that you may experience difficulties then it is worth getting more specialised advice.
Good that you're planning to get an idea of what your boys' father thinks as well, if he gives consent then that is one less thing to worry about. It is worth getting it in writing as well-check out the step children thread to find out how that consent should be formalised or start a new thread on here about it. Sleep well.
P
Him having children does make it tricky in terms of him moving to the UK so it sounds like that option is out.
You do sound more realistic than it appeared from your first post and it does sound like you've done some research on your options
Sorry to ask the multitude of questions.By all means go into NZ House and ask, I did the same when I applied and found them very helpful. However it helps to do enough research beforehand so you know what questions to ask. I would also consider speaking to an immigration agent who may have had experience of similar cases to yours. In fact an immigration agent may be preferable in that they are working for you though it certainly wouldn't do any harm to ask at NZ House about the temp work visas for partners.
I didn't use an agent myself so can't recommend any though others may come along who can help you more. I don't normally suggest using one if a case is 'easy' as it's usually simple enough to apply yourself but given that you may experience difficulties then it is worth getting more specialised advice.
Good that you're planning to get an idea of what your boys' father thinks as well, if he gives consent then that is one less thing to worry about. It is worth getting it in writing as well-check out the step children thread to find out how that consent should be formalised or start a new thread on here about it. Sleep well.
P
Mar 16th 2011, 11:39 am
#6
Banned
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 183
Re: Where to start?
Forgive me, but you can't give too much credence to an online relationship. I have no intention of offending you. It's too risky.
You could meet this person for real and gauge a bit. But it really does not seem practical.
You could meet this person for real and gauge a bit. But it really does not seem practical.
Hello there, I am a UK resident who has been in a seven month online relationship with a NZ resident. I finally managed to get out there with my children for the past month to see how things translated into 'real life'. It was wonderful and now we both want myself and my children to move out there permanently.
Looking on the NZ Immigration website under the terms for residency it states that we have to have been living together for twelve months. My question is how am I supposed to get over to NZ and have the opportunity to live with him for twelve months before making an application?
A visitor's visa only lasts six months - and am I also right in thinking that if you come over on a visitor's visa, you are then not allowed back in the country for the amount of time you were there? i.e. if you stayed for six months you're not allowed back for six months.
We both want this very much but the whole system seems such a minefield I've no idea of where to begin.
Apologies for the length of the post. I'd be grateful for any advice anyone could offer.
Looking on the NZ Immigration website under the terms for residency it states that we have to have been living together for twelve months. My question is how am I supposed to get over to NZ and have the opportunity to live with him for twelve months before making an application?
A visitor's visa only lasts six months - and am I also right in thinking that if you come over on a visitor's visa, you are then not allowed back in the country for the amount of time you were there? i.e. if you stayed for six months you're not allowed back for six months.
We both want this very much but the whole system seems such a minefield I've no idea of where to begin.
Apologies for the length of the post. I'd be grateful for any advice anyone could offer.
Mar 16th 2011, 8:27 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Hawkes Bay
Posts: 1,303
Re: Where to start?
Mar 17th 2011, 1:59 am
#8
Queen of the Underworld
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: In NZ!
Posts: 4,785
Re: Where to start?
The Wise One sounds like she knows the risks involved and is willing to take them. It's up to her to make whatever decision feels right, none of us know the true facts about her situation. So maybe give some useful advice????
Mar 17th 2011, 2:19 am
#9
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Rolleston
Posts: 734
Re: Where to start?
Not atall, I met my partner on line and we are happliy married with a 5 year old doughter, the whole concept of an online relationship is not a seedy as it is percieved to be
Mar 17th 2011, 4:59 am
#10
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,285
Re: Where to start?
I think moving across the world with your kids to live with someone you've known in person for 1 whole intensive month is highly risky. You'll need deep pockets and lots of luck and as you said it may not even be a goer NZIS wise.
Let's face it, most Mums wouldn't advise it
.
Let's face it, most Mums wouldn't advise it
.
Mar 17th 2011, 7:30 am
#11
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: London
Posts: 5
Re: Where to start?
I appreciate all constructive and positive comments. This is a very difficult situation and it's encouraging to hear that other relationships that started online have been successful. This wasn't something I actively went looking for, my partner is a friend of a friend who knew him when he worked in the UK some years ago before he had a family - that's initially why we started talking to each other.
I am 38, he is 44 and neither of us expected anything like this to happen. We both realise there are countless complications and obstacles but would like to try and get the ball rolling by whatever means.
It's our plan in the meantime to spend some time together in Thailand in a few months, on our own, without any children, and then several months after that he intends to bring his children to London so they can experience the life that myself and my children currently have.
I think it's easy to be cynical and dismissive of relationships that start online and I've had to examine my own attitudes towards such things. However, my instinct and my gut, which rarely fail me, are telling me I have to do this. I am very sure and determined, no matter how long the process takes.
I was looking at post-grad teaching courses yesterday in order that I might be able to get over on my own merit rather than relying on my partner. Unfortunately neither of my local universities have any vacancies but I'm sure there must be other options.
In the meantime I plan to visit NZ House next week with lots of questions, and hope that while I'm doing whatever needs to be done after that meeting this forum will be able to offer some support and advice.
I am 38, he is 44 and neither of us expected anything like this to happen. We both realise there are countless complications and obstacles but would like to try and get the ball rolling by whatever means.
It's our plan in the meantime to spend some time together in Thailand in a few months, on our own, without any children, and then several months after that he intends to bring his children to London so they can experience the life that myself and my children currently have.
I think it's easy to be cynical and dismissive of relationships that start online and I've had to examine my own attitudes towards such things. However, my instinct and my gut, which rarely fail me, are telling me I have to do this. I am very sure and determined, no matter how long the process takes.
I was looking at post-grad teaching courses yesterday in order that I might be able to get over on my own merit rather than relying on my partner. Unfortunately neither of my local universities have any vacancies but I'm sure there must be other options.
In the meantime I plan to visit NZ House next week with lots of questions, and hope that while I'm doing whatever needs to be done after that meeting this forum will be able to offer some support and advice.
Last edited by Wise One; Mar 17th 2011 at 7:35 am.
Mar 17th 2011, 8:35 am
#12
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: west midlands
Posts: 166
Re: Where to start?
Good Luck .. I really admire your determination, Most relationships with your obstacles would not of gone any further.. It must be love 
Mar 17th 2011, 5:41 pm
#13
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 51
Re: Where to start?
OOOh go for it! Life's too short to miss out on love - and Kiwi's make great husbands!
You can always go over and nip over to Oz to get your 6 month visa renewed again to add up a few more co-habiting months (that's what I did).
You can always go over and nip over to Oz to get your 6 month visa renewed again to add up a few more co-habiting months (that's what I did).
Mar 17th 2011, 6:08 pm
#14
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: London
Posts: 5
Re: Where to start?
Is it a Visitor's Visa that you're talking about?
Mar 17th 2011, 6:13 pm
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 51
Re: Where to start?
Well it was a over 10 years ago now, but I had spent 6 months in NZ, went to Sydney for 3 weeks and came back for another 3 months in NZ. But I didn't apply for residancy, just wanted to spend lots of time there at that point.
I dont live there now though - it's a mother-in-law thing......
I dont live there now though - it's a mother-in-law thing......