tom cats
Jul 15th 2007, 12:38 pm
#1
conquering the world!
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Puatahanui, Porirua
Posts: 4,905
tom cats
I swear I am going to single-handedly (OK - I may need to use both hands 
) kill every male cat in the near vicinity.
{Disclaimer: NO, NOT REALLY!}
Why: because we decided not to get the smaller and nicer,friendlier, prettier of our two female kittens neutered so that at some point in the future, we would have one litter of kittens from her.
However, she has obviously lured all the male cats from around here onto our premises with her siren song.
It doesn't seem to matter what I threaten them with verbally: common assault; death by many ingenious and painful paths; plagues of locusts; a trip to the vet where they come home 2 stones lighter (
) 
What else can I do apart from the obvious and have my kitty neutered?
Warning: this is a light hearted post, please reply in the same vein or even with something sensible to stop the boys but no heavy stuff please
) kill every male cat in the near vicinity. {Disclaimer: NO, NOT REALLY!}
Why: because we decided not to get the smaller and nicer,friendlier, prettier of our two female kittens neutered so that at some point in the future, we would have one litter of kittens from her.
However, she has obviously lured all the male cats from around here onto our premises with her siren song.
It doesn't seem to matter what I threaten them with verbally: common assault; death by many ingenious and painful paths; plagues of locusts; a trip to the vet where they come home 2 stones lighter (
) What else can I do apart from the obvious and have my kitty neutered?
Warning: this is a light hearted post, please reply in the same vein or even with something sensible to stop the boys but no heavy stuff please
Last edited by karonious; Jul 15th 2007 at 12:40 pm.
Jul 15th 2007, 9:21 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Papakowhai, New Zealand
Posts: 314
Re: tom cats
Buy one of those big water pistols and pick them off from your 'dick'!!
Jul 15th 2007, 11:13 pm
#3
NZ ways is best ways :0)
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 1,109
Re: tom cats
Become the dominant 'TOM' in the area by peeing into a watering can, dilute it with water, then 'mark' your territory where the big bad pussies all hang out.
Sounds a bit dodge I know, but a mate of a mate of a friend's mate did it and it really does work.
Just remember to top up your 'scent' patches every couple of days to keep them marauding Tom's away.
Sounds a bit dodge I know, but a mate of a mate of a friend's mate did it and it really does work.
Just remember to top up your 'scent' patches every couple of days to keep them marauding Tom's away.
Jul 16th 2007, 12:45 am
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Papakowhai, New Zealand
Posts: 314
Re: tom cats
Become the dominant 'TOM' in the area by peeing into a watering can, dilute it with water, then 'mark' your territory where the big bad pussies all hang out.
Sounds a bit dodge I know, but a mate of a mate of a friend's mate did it and it really does work.
Just remember to top up your 'scent' patches every couple of days to keep them marauding Tom's away.
Sounds a bit dodge I know, but a mate of a mate of a friend's mate did it and it really does work.
Just remember to top up your 'scent' patches every couple of days to keep them marauding Tom's away.
Jul 16th 2007, 1:19 am
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: waikanae
Posts: 4,148
Re: tom cats
I swear I am going to single-handedly (OK - I may need to use both hands ) kill every male cat in the near vicinity.
{Disclaimer: NO, NOT REALLY!}
Why: because we decided not to get the smaller and nicer,friendlier, prettier of our two female kittens neutered so that at some point in the future, we would have one litter of kittens from her.
However, she has obviously lured all the male cats from around here onto our premises with her siren song.
It doesn't seem to matter what I threaten them with verbally: common assault; death by many ingenious and painful paths; plagues of locusts; a trip to the vet where they come home 2 stones lighter ()
What else can I do apart from the obvious and have my kitty neutered?
Warning: this is a light hearted post, please reply in the same vein or even with something sensible to stop the boys but no heavy stuff please
) kill every male cat in the near vicinity. {Disclaimer: NO, NOT REALLY!}
Why: because we decided not to get the smaller and nicer,friendlier, prettier of our two female kittens neutered so that at some point in the future, we would have one litter of kittens from her.
However, she has obviously lured all the male cats from around here onto our premises with her siren song.
It doesn't seem to matter what I threaten them with verbally: common assault; death by many ingenious and painful paths; plagues of locusts; a trip to the vet where they come home 2 stones lighter (
) What else can I do apart from the obvious and have my kitty neutered?
Warning: this is a light hearted post, please reply in the same vein or even with something sensible to stop the boys but no heavy stuff please
