kiwigirlinalain

What do you guys think?

Been living in the ME (UAE) for 5 years. Having an adventure. Married young, had kids young, free reasonably young? But then the Christchurch earthquake hit in Feb 2011 and my sister was lost to us in the CTV building. I went home to NZ for 6 months to grieve and do what I could to help. It's now 12 months later! Husband is Architect? We can make a contribution to the rebuild of the city! Should we head back to help with the rebuild or should we carry on with our own adventure? Conflicting thoughts and feelings really. Want to stay and continue this adventure of living in and experiencing another culture but so aware of what we could do for Christchurch. Would love to hear your thoughts! Miss the NZ but love the UAE!

waikatoguy

It would be great if you could come and help. I'm sure you and your husbands services would be appreciated in Christchurch. But ultimately, you know it's your own decision.

BEVS

Christchurch will be in a rebuild stage for a very long while yet m'love. There is no hurry. You carry on with your adventure.

I know it must feel like the pits sometimes to be somewhere else when your family are here and you lost your sister here You will still be grieving & that will make you feel you want to contribute something to the place where she died. Many of us feel this . Do this. We give donations for that which took our loved ones. Do fund raising. All that type of thing.

If this is a wee bit of how you are feeling I'd say go live your life for her as well as yourself. Christchurch will be here and waiting when you are ready & that is not whilst you are still grieving.

hazeandsteve

At what point does it stop being an adventure and turn into just day to day routine and big bucks, as opposed to living on the kiwi dollar?.
if you're still loving it and not resenting the cultural differences, then stay. If not......
My ex uncle in law spent a bit if time in the ME and vowed never again to return because of certain attitudes.
Best of luck with your dilemma.

Justcol

Carry on with your adventure, Christchurch will still get rebuilt but you might not get to carry on afterwards
when you've done your part.
I think a return would have to be for very personal reasons and self fulfilment as in the grand scheme of things
your efforts will be anonymous.

dannigirl

I think you'll know when it is ready to move back to NZ...if you are having to think about it too much then I don't think it's the right time. Maybe, if the seed (to return to NZ) has been planted, then your desire to move back to NZ will eventually take over your desire to stay in the UAE....which I guess would mean that it's time to go home. Not sure if I am explaining myself very well, but I think we return home when the call/pull is too strong to dismiss anymore.

Mine is definitely growing..........

BEVS

I think you've explained it very well.

Bellasmum

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister and the only advice I can give you is listen to your heart.

scrubbedexpat094

I think Dannigirl's advice is excellent

crap coffee

smart people move overseas.

feel like I am not the one.

kiwigirlinalain

Thanks for your thoughts. I guess when the time is right we will know!

whitesand

Personally, I think you'd be crazy to move back here. Perhaps you're taking where you are too much for granted and don't realise what you'd miss or the quality of life you have now.

BEVS

We are upon the 1st anniversary of that wretched quake which took her sister. I rather think that Kiwigirlinalain's thoughts are with her family at this time. Having gone through that, I would imagine she takes nothing much for granted having not long been bereaved.

But it's not about you is it love. It's about how Kiwigirlinalain feels , having lost her sister in the quake and how she feels at this moment in time. Her thoughts , naturally , turn to her homeland & her family still here in NZ.

whitesand

Yes, but the OP did ask for our opinions.

kiwigirlinalain

I have never resented the cultural differences, they just add to the thrill of life here. Living amongst such cultural diversity makes you a 'bigger' person. The big bucks don't exist any more, the global recession changed all of that. We have all had salary cuts here or loss of benefits. Some have stayed, others have left. We know we are making a contribution here, but also the proximity to the rest of the world is definitely what we came here for and we enjoy exploring. We can be in India in 3 hours of Europe in 6. From NZ those trips would mean our entire years holiday allocation. Travel and experiencing other cultures makes your thinking broader. I for one feel that that broader thinking will benefit NZ when we eventually return. Thanks for taking the time to reply and give me your views.