Snap Shot

My husband's mum lives in NZ. So does his sister who is married with children. We live about 500km away from them.

That is how we live in NZ. Swap UK for NZ in the above quote and that's exactly how we've ended up living as I'm unemployed despite my best efforts to find work in this small, regional town. So we live off my husband's salary.

It seems to be the other way around here. We're not their sort of people. The minute they detect my foreign i.e. British accent the, 'why are you speaking to me ?' expression comes over their face. Cliquey ? Only a lot.

Erm, are you for real or have I just taken the bait ?

That sounds pretty close to, 'we could sell our house here (in Britain), buy a house in NZ, both get jobs and live mortgage free. Have more disposable income.' Which was my husband's idea. Like I said, he's a New Zealander. So, in 2011 we sold our house and came to NZ without a job. (Such fun).

FWIW I have a family category visa and permanent residency.

Erm, I don't know what to say. (Most unusual for me, but it happens.)

New Zealanders don't like strangers, they really DON'T like foreigners. That's the 'pack mentality' with them. Unless you are already popular at work or in your neighbourhood etc, some sort of 'top dog' for the pack to hero worship, it's all about the pecking order. Basically if there's something to be gained from knowing you then they will want to be your friend. Other than that, forget it. That'll be those friendly, laid back New Zealanders you've heard about of course. No class system here, no no, not like Britain.

New Zealanders like someone because they are popular rather than liking them for their own reasons. They are like a bunch of twelve years olds and never grow out of that, but 'on the eye' they look like adults, well the adults do of course. To them that's part of being normal so, there's no need to change. They just laugh at their behaviour, like I say, because they are so babyish themselves.

Other times it just grieves them to so much as make eye contact. Kiwi's are quite conceited, IMO. They just can't bring themselves to speak to someone they don't already know. It's just to hard. They just blush and look at the floor. I mean really, is that any way for a grown adult to behave ? Maybe not, but this is New Zealand of course. Anyone they don't already know is just funny as far as they are concerned. What's that about ?

Sorry but I really did laugh out loud at this.

The quality of food in the Supermarkets where I live in NZ is no better and no worse than Sainsburys or Tesco. I also question the limited choice. I notice that I buy the same groceries pretty much week in week out as we consume pretty much the same food etc on the same basis.

I cook everything from scratch. It's quite telling that I use the same recipes that I used in Britain as I can source the same ingredients.

The only thing I don't buy here is prawns/shrimps which is a shame as I love them in Britain, Norwegian prawns are delicious. They taste horrible here as they come from China, Thailand etc. They are orangey coloured chewy and tasteless. Any other fish here in NZ, may I add, is as good as we've ever had in Britain. That includes shellfish e.g. scallops and of course the obligatory green lipped mussels. But not NZ whitebait. Yuck, just don't go there ! Although they call our whitebait European whitebait and have pretty much the same reaction.

Stormer999

Bloody hell here we go again.....

If I had listened to some of this crap I would never had come to NZ and missed out on living in a beautiful country among some of the friendliest people I have come across.

jmh

That's absolute nonsense. It is true that they don't like winging poms, but you can hardly blame them for that. Otherwise, they are friendly and fair minded. Bear in mind also, many have lived overseas and travelled, so they are pretty interested in the rest of the world. You need to get out more.

BEVS

Sorry but I canny resist.

...... or those from the Orient ; South Africans; Americans; Immigrants that put up house prices ; Australians ; Those freedom campers who are not Kiwis.

Mate. Some Kiwis, just like any other nationality, do not like much and some like to have a pop whenever they get the chance. Many also more than know how to whinge. Oh yes they do.

Anyway. What is a winging Pom. Is that like a chancer?

Seriously. Joking aside. Some Kiwis & I am sure the majority, are perfectly lovely human beings . I know . I'm very good friends with several.

IMO. Anyone that whinges & moans non stop is a bit of a pain to listen to after a while. no matter what their nationality. On the other hand, having someone and somewhere to offload is no bad thing. We all need to dump at times.

Having written all of this, I am splitting this thread as the OP deserves better from their first post.

barnsleymat

There's no nationality whinges as much as Kiwis, here's the latest national whinging hot topics.

TPPA, deep sea drilling, SkyTV, Rugby stadium food prices, tourist drivers, freedom campers, Chinese property investors, anything Australian, cycle paths, property prices, benefit claimants, rental prices, the flag, wicked campervans, American politics + about a billion other topics.


If you need any convincing just go to www.stuff.co.nz and read the comments.

bourbon-biscuit

Some of the best people I have met in the world are Kiwis; I've met *significantly* more lovely, welcoming, and interesting Kiwis than narrow minded insular ones. Following your posts over the years including your struggles to find work and friends and reading this latest spew of xenophobic rubbish, which is a rehash of stuff you have said over and over, I have come to the conclusion that you are not really a very likable person, Snap shot. I strongly suspect this is that root of your inability to make meaningful connections to NZers.

BEVS

Hard one is this.

It is no crime to be very unhappy. The issue comes when we lash out at those that really do not deserve it. Whether they are known to us or unknown That is about deferred blame & anger in a way. We blame others for our own choices. Feel anger & resentment.

I will say this. SnapShot is in pain & a part of what we do is to support those in a mess. I do understand the thing about Kiwi defensiveness though. It permeates and as I have written before, it does become a little tedious.

I will also say this. The entire country of NZ and all Kiwis do not deserve to be all pegged the same & damned for simply being Kiwis and who they are as a nation.

They have every right to be as they are. It will either suit the migrant or not suit the migrant. The trick, as always , is all about compromise and balance. Accept what you cannot change and overcome. Just as you would anywhere you live in life.

outback sunset

Wow, the original post wasn't a helpful response but to repost it with it's own heading of 'unhelpful post' for everyone else to comment on wtf?

Moses2013

Ironically, over 70% of New Zealanders are of European descent, so think about that.

Pom_Chch

The more I hear from Snap Shot the less credible I find her posts. I can totally respect being in a tough situation and not being at all happy with living in NZ but that does not condone a tirade of xenophobic abuse towards the locals. It just doesn't. And to be perfectly honest I don't like the way it is swept under the carpet on this forum and dressed up as "oh it's OK, she's just having a hard time." The most ironic thing I find about it is that you are married to a Kiwi Snap Shot. How entirely baffling to hear your negative view points towards the locals when you are in fact married to one.

Anyway, I don't generally like getting involved in this cr@p so I shall leave it there and carry on with my weekend.

MrsFychan

I do know a few people that have live and do still live in the area she is in and the over riding feeling of the area is if you were not born there then you are an outsider and treated as such. Which again I can sympathise with as the first area we lived in was exactly the same but in that case it was the long time expats that were the bane of our lives so much so that we called it parochial bay. Some people just can't cope with that or have the desire to try and break through the barriers to actually make friends with people like that, I know I did not want to become someone in the in crowd and treat people the way they did. But saying that that is the same the whole world over and harps back to school yard antics and I for one have grown up a bit from those days

LauraNotts

I am really over reading this stuff. It's okay to be unhappy here, it's okay to criticize some of the things about living here (because yes its not all sunshine and roses) but PLEASE stop with this ridiculous tired old rant about how rude and awful every single Kiwi who ever drew breath is. Argh!

I think on balance I am going to make the decision to simply not read your posts anymore.

MrsFychan

there is a function to block certain posters posts, but we cannot take away that this is her experience and what she feels about it, and to say she or anyone cannot post about it, and yes it has been a problem for a while for snap shot and I know she is trying to move on from the issues, is not what BE is about, the posts come as she is giving her experience out to new comers. It would be unfair to not give both sides of the coin.

BEVS

I can alter the title. No probs. What was actually there was "unhelpful postS" in the plural. That included my own ;-)

Please note that the thread was actually split after post #5 once the instant reactive posts started to come in. Splitting the thread was not intended to be used as open season to have a pop at Snapshot because some do not like her post content or the way she expresses herself. It was intended to protect the thread of a brand new member so that their thread didn't derail. That Snapshots post heads the thread is not a moderating action towards Snapshot. It is simply where the thread was split.

Here is a question . What is worse? Making a sweeping statement by being generally & unfairly unkind about a nation/country in general, or being deliberately & personally unkind to someone clearly in some emotional distress .

As MrsF states. If a poster gets on the nerves, then simply place them on 'ignore'. That is what that function is for. Anyone who does not know how to do that, ask.

Moderators will not know that someone or some post/thread is seen as an issue unless they are told. If nothing is said , then it will be assumed that posters are OK among themselves. Two ways to talk to a mod. Send a report or send a PM.

It would have been quite wrong to close this spin off thread at post #5 as it was simply yet another collection of posts about which nation was the whingiest ( or insert other description) etc. & there are plenty such posts ,of the same ilk, all throughout BE in the assorted country forums.

However as it has turned from the general to the personal , I am now closing this thread.