Road repairs Kiwi style
 

Extracts from the Kiwi road repair manual

1) Choose a section of road with no potholes, bumps or ridges. This will save money because no repairs will be needed to the road base

2) Put out dozens of cones and 30kph signs. These should extend at least 2 kms either end of the area to be repaired.

3) Do nothing for three weeks.

4) Strip the surface of BOTH carriageways. Never even concider repairing one side at a time, as this would minimise the inconvenience to road users.
If it hasn't rained by teatime pour 1000s of liters of water on to the road base,turning it into something closely resembling wet concrete. This will ensure the maximum damage to paintwork. Repeat the watering daily

5) Do nothing for three weeks.

6) Without doing any repairs (see step 1) cover the now lumpy and potholed surface with a thick layer of hot tar and stones. NEVER roll the stones in, why bother when this will be done for you by passing cars, besides which rolling in would mean that stone damage to paintwork and windscreens would be greatly reduced, minimising insurance claims. Very undisirable.

7) Do nothing for three weeks.

8) Paint new road markings and remove cones and 30 kph signs. Doing this before sweeping will maximise stone damage to paintwork and windscreens.

9) Do nothing for three weeks

10)Sweep the loose stones off the road surface including the newly painted road markings.This will give the new markings a nice worn look. Do not remove the loose stone, just pile them on the shoulder so that wind and rain will carry them back onto the carriageway, ensuring maximum stone damage to paintwork and windscreens.

The result will be perfect, indistinguishable from when you started.

11)Do nothing for 3 weeks

12)Dig up the road again because some prat forgot to repair the watermain/sewers/powercable that run underneath

Always remember that the primary responsibility of a road repair crew is to cause maximum inconvenience to motorists and the maximum damage to their cars.

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

You've just described SH1 through Caversham in Dunedin.

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

Now you wouldn't be talking about the Hawera - Wanganui road would you???? :rofl:

We drove it on Sunday - what a bloody mess our car was in afterwards!

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

How did you guess. I just spent 2 hours getting the "Concrete" off my car after driving that way yesterday.

But I guess it would apply to pretty much any roadworks in the country

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

Never once had to wash concrete off my car in UK.

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

Me neither

In 40 years driving in the UK, I never had to have a windscreen replaced.

In 6 years in NZ I've had three

And honestly, its all down to the crappy method we use for road repairs.

Haven't these guys ever heard of Tarmac?

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

I suspect UK-spec tarmac would just melt in the summer here, Saudi had a similar obvious temp issue, they used similar road repair materials back in the 90's when we were there.

Also worth considering I suspect the GDP/road km is much less here than in Europe, consequently cheaper repair techniques and materials...or no road!

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

Don't worry my NZ friends, Australia keeps you company with strange road repairs.

Tiz true, the heat makes a difference. Also, apparantly they used to use some sort of glue in the top dressing. This was found to be carconagenic and has been removed.

I still think the fact that one can drive from Melbourne to Perth on sealed roads is quite and achievement.

I love countries with low poulations. One of the drawbacks is that low road usage means relatively expensive costs.

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

Oh and the Isle of Man imports a road crew from Ireland every few years and does repairs "in bulk"...with appropriate commitment to quality....:rofl:

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

I think I know to what or whom you are refering but I'll refrain from actually saying it. ;)

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

you make it sound as if NZ gets hot:rofl:

Most of the country's weather is little different than the UK

Nearly every time I have been the weather has been atrocious

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

And you haven't made the link yet :confused::confused::confused::rofl:

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

I'll be back in February so break out the thermals and gumboots.

That is if you have had chance to take them off yet:lol:

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

The weather does play havoc with the road surfaces,particularly mountain passes. Used to result in it being broken up into potholes and 'eggs' of tarmac. Had a fair few tankslappers after hitting some of them without warning at erm mmm *?@ kmh. :o;) (Get off bike for a change of undercrackers)

Re: Road repairs Kiwi style
 

and Greville Road on North Shore.

We thought it most strange that they would paint all the lines back on before putting the final surface on it. :rofl: