Precious time back in uk .
May 1st 2014, 5:50 pm
#16
Queen of the Underworld
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: In NZ!
Posts: 4,785
Re: Precious time back in uk .
A very timely post for me personally too, thank you for sharing. My dad has been given 2 months at best, and I have the dilemma of whether to return now while he is still ok ish and probably miss the end and the funeral, or risk going back towards the end and staying for the funeral, not really seeing my dad as I remember him, if I see him at all. Tough choice. It's not easy and every time my wonderful brother (who has given up his job to look after him) rings with an update I feel an immense guilt. Partly for not being there now, but also for not having been there and spending these last precious years with him.
The benefits of hindsight eh?
The benefits of hindsight eh?
Whatever decision you make will be right for you and that's all that matters.
Take care
P x
May 1st 2014, 7:23 pm
#17
MODERATOR
Joined: Oct 2011
Location: Wellington - I miss Castles, the NHS & English school system
Posts: 9,077
Re: Precious time back in uk .
A very timely post for me personally too, thank you for sharing. My dad has been given 2 months at best, and I have the dilemma of whether to return now while he is still ok ish and probably miss the end and the funeral, or risk going back towards the end and staying for the funeral, not really seeing my dad as I remember him, if I see him at all. Tough choice. It's not easy and every time my wonderful brother (who has given up his job to look after him) rings with an update I feel an immense guilt. Partly for not being there now, but also for not having been there and spending these last precious years with him.
The benefits of hindsight eh?
The benefits of hindsight eh?
May 1st 2014, 8:46 pm
#18
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 0
Re: Precious time back in uk .
I'm so very pleased that you returned to see your parents and especially your Dad to celebrate his birthday before he passed away. I'm absolutely sure that it will have meant the world to him Nige. Great that you have those last memories to treasure.
I'm so sorry for your loss though. My thoughts are with you xxx
I'm so sorry for your loss though. My thoughts are with you xxx
May 1st 2014, 9:43 pm
#19
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,625
Re: Precious time back in uk .
A very timely post for me personally too, thank you for sharing. My dad has been given 2 months at best, and I have the dilemma of whether to return now while he is still ok ish and probably miss the end and the funeral, or risk going back towards the end and staying for the funeral, not really seeing my dad as I remember him, if I see him at all. Tough choice.
Do not beat yourself up with this. No guilt and no regrets. Repeat that after me. No guilt and no regrets. Our parents bring us up to fly however we so choose & you did that. He will be proud of the both of you. He will not want your guilt.
As I've written before, best to go for the living. Too late when they are gone & a horrible mercy trip should be avoided if possible.
Your Dad loves you and will hope to see you again and spend time with you. He'll want you all together whilst he has the energy to soak that up.
Start making arrangements. You don't want a dreadful mercy flight for you or for your brother.
May 1st 2014, 11:23 pm
#20
She'll be right
Joined: Sep 2012
Location: Near the beach, NZ
Posts: 1,498
Re: Precious time back in uk .
Hi vetnurse1 . Very sorry to read this for you.
Do not beat yourself up with this. No guilt and no regrets. Repeat that after me. No guilt and no regrets. Our parents bring us up to fly however we so choose & you did that. He will be proud of the both of you. He will not want your guilt.
As I've written before, best to go for the living. Too late when they are gone & a horrible mercy trip should be avoided if possible.
Your Dad loves you and will hope to see you again and spend time with you. He'll want you all together whilst he has the energy to soak that up.
Start making arrangements. You don't want a dreadful mercy flight for you or for your brother.
Do not beat yourself up with this. No guilt and no regrets. Repeat that after me. No guilt and no regrets. Our parents bring us up to fly however we so choose & you did that. He will be proud of the both of you. He will not want your guilt.
As I've written before, best to go for the living. Too late when they are gone & a horrible mercy trip should be avoided if possible.
Your Dad loves you and will hope to see you again and spend time with you. He'll want you all together whilst he has the energy to soak that up.
Start making arrangements. You don't want a dreadful mercy flight for you or for your brother.
Very well said!
May 2nd 2014, 5:40 am
#21
wish I wasn't here!
Joined: Sep 2013
Location: Erm...Plymouth unfortunately!
Posts: 510
Re: Precious time back in uk .
I completely agree - that's what I did and have no regrets at all.
Good luck and take care
Good luck and take care
May 2nd 2014, 10:59 am
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Godzone (allegedly)
Posts: 103
Re: Precious time back in uk .
Hi vetnurse1 . Very sorry to read this for you.
Do not beat yourself up with this. No guilt and no regrets. Repeat that after me. No guilt and no regrets. Our parents bring us up to fly however we so choose & you did that. He will be proud of the both of you. He will not want your guilt.
As I've written before, best to go for the living. Too late when they are gone & a horrible mercy trip should be avoided if possible.
Your Dad loves you and will hope to see you again and spend time with you. He'll want you all together whilst he has the energy to soak that up.
Start making arrangements. You don't want a dreadful mercy flight for you or for your brother.
Do not beat yourself up with this. No guilt and no regrets. Repeat that after me. No guilt and no regrets. Our parents bring us up to fly however we so choose & you did that. He will be proud of the both of you. He will not want your guilt.
As I've written before, best to go for the living. Too late when they are gone & a horrible mercy trip should be avoided if possible.
Your Dad loves you and will hope to see you again and spend time with you. He'll want you all together whilst he has the energy to soak that up.
Start making arrangements. You don't want a dreadful mercy flight for you or for your brother.
