NZ crap towns
Nov 10th 2008, 9:41 am
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 164
NZ crap towns
http://oxygen.orconhosting.net.nz/nzct/
Wanga-Vegas :
Site good for a giggle.
Hamilton is mind-numbingly dull and its weather is repellent. It was built on a swamp, and its only geographical feature is a river that passes through the city as quick as it can; I would advise anyone who visits Hamilton to do the same.
Wanga-Vegas :
This is the Mecca of WINZ. Formally a thriving young city and once the life blood of NZ industry - what happened????
Dress-code in Wanganui consists of 2nd hand hoodies, baggy pants, a sweet B.O. aroma and one shoe on the left foot (if you're lucky).
The people spend their days wandering the streets with their knuckles dragging on the ground trying to get rid of any tourists.
They call this the River city...If a river consists of old syringes, sewage and factory effluent then I guess it is the river city.
The one bonus about Wanganui are the detailed directions that allow you to avoid the place.
Dress-code in Wanganui consists of 2nd hand hoodies, baggy pants, a sweet B.O. aroma and one shoe on the left foot (if you're lucky).
The people spend their days wandering the streets with their knuckles dragging on the ground trying to get rid of any tourists.
They call this the River city...If a river consists of old syringes, sewage and factory effluent then I guess it is the river city.
The one bonus about Wanganui are the detailed directions that allow you to avoid the place.
Site good for a giggle.
Last edited by Jokerman; Nov 10th 2008 at 9:44 am.
Nov 10th 2008, 9:45 am
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 968
Re: NZ crap towns
I thought it was a serious tourist guide?
Nov 10th 2008, 9:48 am
#3
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 164
Re: NZ crap towns
Yeah, before the 100% Pure NZ spin-machine chewed it up and spat it out again as :
The city of Wanganui sits at the Tasman Sea end of the wild and wonderful Whanganui River. Discover heritage buildings, a paddle steamer and much more.
I love this description of Dannevirke :
This miserable settlement is a blight on the journey to the Hawkes Bay. Festooned with inbred poor trailer trash and very bad fast food outlets - it's only saving grace is the road that runs parallel to the main drag. Find that - and you can roar through Dannevirke before it succumbs to its intended purpose - a nuclear test zone!
This is a shit hole of the first order. To qualify as an inhabitant, one must marry one's sister, play the banjo, qualify for maximum income assistance and produce offspring with no hair or teeth who suck apple sauce through a straw and with a penchant for sex with farm animals.
This is a shit hole of the first order. To qualify as an inhabitant, one must marry one's sister, play the banjo, qualify for maximum income assistance and produce offspring with no hair or teeth who suck apple sauce through a straw and with a penchant for sex with farm animals.
Last edited by Jokerman; Nov 10th 2008 at 9:52 am.
Nov 10th 2008, 9:51 am
#4
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Epsom
Posts: 1,705
Re: NZ crap towns
Only Patrick2007 has to post now and the 'Troika' will be complete.
Nov 10th 2008, 11:56 am
#8
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 968
Re: NZ crap towns
Wanga-Vegas :
This is the Mecca of WINZ. Formally a thriving young city and once the life blood of NZ industry - what happened????
Dress-code in Wanganui consists of 2nd hand hoodies, baggy pants, a sweet B.O. aroma and one shoe on the left foot (if you're lucky).
The people spend their days wandering the streets with their knuckles dragging on the ground trying to get rid of any tourists.
They call this the River city...If a river consists of old syringes, sewage and factory effluent then I guess it is the river city.
The one bonus about Wanganui are the detailed directions that allow you to avoid the place.
That review is poor, as it doesnt do justice to the delights of the suburb of Castlecliff, which is far worse than what is described above.
Nov 10th 2008, 5:38 pm
#9
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Top of the South
Posts: 348
Re: NZ crap towns
Who's the author? Not a New Zealander surely? It's too funny and we don't have a sense of humour so it has to be written by a foreigner, and one that has not traveled very well in the South by the looks of things.
Shocking website design, of a very poor standard, so its easy to assume that it is a joke.
Shocking website design, of a very poor standard, so its easy to assume that it is a joke.
Nov 10th 2008, 6:11 pm
#10
---
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,994
Re: NZ crap towns
Absolutely PMSL @ Dannevirke- it's true! Off to explore that link now ...
Off to explore that link now ...
Nov 10th 2008, 7:35 pm
#11
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Liverpool U.K.
Posts: 325
Re: NZ crap towns
Genesis will be so relieved it didnt mention dear ole barmy Palmy
Nov 10th 2008, 7:41 pm
#12
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Liverpool U.K.
Posts: 325
Re: NZ crap towns
Clive sounds interesting though. Glenfield North Shore is on the same lines
Nov 10th 2008, 7:48 pm
#14
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Top of the South
Posts: 348
Re: NZ crap towns
Nov 10th 2008, 8:01 pm
#15
Sleazy Dippin Doodle
Joined: May 2007
Location: wellington
Posts: 1,363
Re: NZ crap towns
Hehe funny.
As long as people don't take it for fact or assume that's all there is about the place then it is funny.
Though this about Otaki was kind of incorrect:
The town itself has been gutted, with the majority of retailers moving the economic centre to the lucrative 'passers-through' market on the highway.
Perhaps I am being pedantic. But the town referred to was never "the town itself" but rather the beach. Otaki Beach vs Otaki Town.
No worries though
As long as people don't take it for fact or assume that's all there is about the place then it is funny.
Though this about Otaki was kind of incorrect:
The town itself has been gutted, with the majority of retailers moving the economic centre to the lucrative 'passers-through' market on the highway.
Perhaps I am being pedantic. But the town referred to was never "the town itself" but rather the beach. Otaki Beach vs Otaki Town.
No worries though