stevenfoster13

We are thinking of moving back to NZ after our daughter finishes her GCSEs in 2022. We moved to NZ Before she was 2 and moved back to the UK before she was 11. We always said we would never move back to the UK but came back for family reasons and regretted it from day 1. As my daughter was due to start high school we said we wouldn’t move her until after her exams as we’d moved around a fair bit and wanted some continuity in education for her most important years at school.
Does anybody have any experience of moving with older teenagers or advice?
Thanks

Liz174

Hi, I don’t have any experience with teenagers sorry, but we moved to NZ from UK in 2013 & have 2 young daughters that were born over here. Out of interest why have you regretted moving back to the UK? I have been missing it a lot.

stevenfoster13

For us the work life balance wasn’t and isn’t great here. We don’t enjoy the traffic, stress of day to day life and find things are less enjoyable as a whole. We live in a beautiful part of the country and do have a nice life but, we miss our life in NZ. When we lived there we did miss things about being back in the UK, but coming back for a holiday was enough and we were always counting the days down to go back to NZ. Our daughter had a great life in NZ and did and saw things she never would have in the UK. She has found it a struggle to fit in since being back as she doesn’t have the same interests as many of her peers but that could just be a general thing and nothing to do with spending most of her life out of the UK.
For us we found NZ a much more positive place, here we seem to feel much more negative, despite tying to hold onto the positive of things. Plus the weather was always a bonus.
Again these are our own thoughts and experiences and nothing against living in the UK. We have moved around enough to know we have to make the most of where we are and always do that, and we do.

Liz174

Thanks for your response - you’re right, it’s a beautiful place, and like you said very positive. My husband especially loves it here & our kids are happy, it’s not just about me.
After 8 years we’re well settled & I don’t dare mention I have a desire to return to the UK. I see my friends in the UK well settled with houses in that familiar area I grew up in with friends & family around them & feel envious that we didn’t do the same. We only planned on coming to NZ for a year when we got married before we had kids to earn some money to buy a house but enjoyed it so much we decided to stay.
I’m just trying to remind myself why we have such a good life here & should stay rather than having that constant pull to go back.

stevenfoster13

I think it’s normal to want the things you are used to and have fond memories of, plus seeing friends and family have their lives together, but sometimes it is the memory rather than actual place you want. Maybe go back for an extended holiday if you can. Holidays are always different to living there but it would give you a feel for what it’s actually like. I think with covid and all the lockdowns it has made people realise how far away they are and miss “home” because you aren’t allowed to travel. If possible I’d go with the extended holiday if you can before making any big decisions. Everyone get homesick for family and friends from time to time

Moses2013

I always say a lot depends on the individual and any lifestyle can be lived in either country, if the tools are there to make it work. I suppose the big difference is that the distance means you really have to let go and being in NZ means that's it when it comes to family, unless they are all there already. Although beautiful in parts, decided against a move to NZ many years ago. Family was one thing but realised that we didn't even know Europe and paradise was on our doorstep all the time. Sure there are things about the UK that aren't great and eventually left ourselves but after exploring more we realised a move wouldn't have been worth it. Just today we went to Portlick and I really can't say it was less stunning/relaxed than what we would have had with Lake Waihola. We're blessed with scenery here anyway but it's very easy to drive to Cantabria or Biscay from the UK and it's like the whole of NZ on your doorstep. We usually drive to the Girona coast and at least it feels very different. In NZ it would have been from Otago to Bay of Plenty. Maybe Brexit has added to the negativity?