Missing home

Old Apr 23rd 2019, 10:09 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Charismatic View Post
why persevere with a self-inflicted misery?
One thing I feel migrating does for some people is give them the ability to take stock and prioritise what is important in life and what is not..
i don't let anything bother me anymore. (As you may have guessed from my posts on here, the exception tends to be people who complain and moan.) I should imagine the same can be said for those who return to blighty. Maybe they can see those who run around like their hair is on fire but realise it really doesn't matter a jot. In Europe or out, Corbyn or May, the reality is it doesn't effect you in your day to day life, or in the relationship s you have with friends or family. If you are happy in your corner of the world, that is all that matters. The rest be is just white noise.

Last edited by Justcol; Apr 23rd 2019 at 10:18 am.
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Old Apr 23rd 2019, 10:34 pm
  #17  
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Charismatic View Post
I can see why people would want to live in other countries but never understood why, with the variety on offer, they would consider the UK again. Why persevere with a self-inflicted misery?
I actually do not understand this post Col.

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Old Apr 24th 2019, 2:06 am
  #18  
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Default Re: Missing home

That quote is not from my post

I was however pointing out that what charismatic might perceive as misery, (being back in the uk) is nothing more than his perspective, and that others are able to live and enjoy being in the uk despite what some see as all it's problems.

Last edited by Justcol; Apr 24th 2019 at 3:46 am.
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Old Apr 24th 2019, 5:40 am
  #19  
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Justcol View Post
That quote is not from my post
So it isn't Col. That'll teach me to try and multi-task.

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Old Apr 24th 2019, 7:21 am
  #20  
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Smile Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Charismatic View Post
I can see why people would want to live in other countries but never understood why, with the variety on offer, they would consider the UK again. Why persevere with a self-inflicted misery?
Originally Posted by BEVS View Post
I actually do not understand this post Col.
Me neither - yet I wrote it.
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Old Apr 24th 2019, 1:50 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Gunner5139 View Post
I know you all may feel this is early to post this but I am just posting my true feelings. My wife is a kiwi so all is good for her as she us now home. Perhaps I was nieve in thinking this would be easy.
I miss home so much, have been in NZ since March 14th and am now in Timaru where we are buying a house .
We should be able to move in on May 17th, admittedly a lot slicker process than home in the UK.
Not sure how I am going to adapt to life here, rubbish TV, not even sure I like the people, get sick and tired of the barrage of questions when I walk into a shop or cafe. I am not interested in telling any stranger how I am or what I am doing later that day, mind your own bloody business. If I did tell you behind the counter what I thought or how I was then you would be offended. I am 63 and semi retired but not sure if I want to work with the kiwi buggers. I am into outdoor exploits or pastimes like they all seem to be here.
I need to find Expats in the Timaru area to talk to, any suggestions would be most welcome.

Best wishes
A homesick Gunner 5139
I really feel for you, at your age as I’ve been here for 2.5 years now and I’ve found it really difficult transitioning. I’m 30 and I’ve found myself missing cobbles and drystone walls and wishing weatherboard actually weathered.
I live in Hanmer Springs and it’s a lovely place, for a weekend, not so much for years! The population is very small and the town is so transient, I find it makes the locals quite closed off and everyone apart from two people I’ve previously worked with have all left. My partner is a Kiwi and a local and I’m fortunate enough to be a Sahm to our beautiful little girl, but my partner works long hours and the loneliness and lack of variety in activities, and even just places to walk to, I’m finding killer at the moment. I struggle with not having much common ground with the locals that have barely left town and having conversations of substance. Hoping to move to Christchurch, or just somewhere bigger with better job prospects for me as there is just cafe work here and it doesn’t pay much more than what the cost of childcare will be. and hopefully more people to make friends with who won’t just leave me! Sorry I’ve hijacked your post a bit there. I hope you feel better soon. Tv is naff here, you get over it a bit. I used to make do with watching antiques roadshow everyday. 😂

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit View Post
Lol, I am having a big homesick patch and have a trip to the UK in a few weeks: am banking on it being a reality check and on feeling a huge sense of relief and good fortune when I land back home in Sydney!
Im hopefully visiting the Uk soon and am wishing the same!
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Old Apr 24th 2019, 2:53 pm
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Soupnswings View Post


I really feel for you, at your age as I’ve been here for 2.5 years now and I’ve found it really difficult transitioning. I’m 30 and I’ve found myself missing cobbles and drystone walls and wishing weatherboard actually weathered.
I live in Hanmer Springs and it’s a lovely place, for a weekend, not so much for years! The population is very small and the town is so transient, I find it makes the locals quite closed off and everyone apart from two people I’ve previously worked with have all left. My partner is a Kiwi and a local and I’m fortunate enough to be a Sahm to our beautiful little girl, but my partner works long hours and the loneliness and lack of variety in activities, and even just places to walk to, I’m finding killer at the moment. I struggle with not having much common ground with the locals that have barely left town and having conversations of substance. Hoping to move to Christchurch, or just somewhere bigger with better job prospects for me as there is just cafe work here and it doesn’t pay much more than what the cost of childcare will be. and hopefully more people to make friends with who won’t just leave me! Sorry I’ve hijacked your post a bit there. I hope you feel better soon. Tv is naff here, you get over it a bit. I used to make do with watching antiques roadshow everyday.



Im hopefully visiting the Uk soon and am wishing the same!

You certainly are far away from everything and I suppose it shows again that moving anywhere can be tricky and even more so if the partner is local. But I think it has nothing to do with New Zealand alone and all foreigners have the same challenges. It's always hard and unless you are really into the local stuff, locals will always see you as an outsider and just have their own lives/longtime friends. While cities might offer more, it's more likely that the friends are also Expats, so no guarantee they'll stay forever either. Some are lucky and fit right in, while others just have to live with the fact that they'll always be a foreigner. If the financial benefit is not there, it can be hard too. Then there are those people who just hate the country they were born in, so a lot easier. But people missing the simple things in life and not really into the country they moved to will always feel lost. You can only hope that when they do visit home, it's pissing down and they are in some rough area with unfriendly shopkeepers. Sorry don't want to ruin the holiday:-). But then if you visit a nice area during spring and everyone is friendly & chatty just enjoying life, it can get very difficult.

Last edited by Moses2013; Apr 24th 2019 at 3:00 pm.
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Old Apr 24th 2019, 10:27 pm
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Soupnswings View Post


Tv is naff here, you get over it a bit. I used to make do with watching antiques roadshow everyday. 😂





Don't suffer: Getflix! (Google it - dead easy and cheap)
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Old May 2nd 2019, 11:30 pm
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Default Re: Missing home

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people who took the trouble to post replies to my original posting. I do honestly feel better about being here now as we have bought a beautiful house in Temuka and that is going to keep me well occupied with my wood shop and my model railway.
I think I also feel better because of not going to live in Timaru, the smaller township atmosphere of Temuka is a lot more welcoming and relaxed. I came from a really intense busy part of the UK right next to Gatwick Airport and this contrast does take some getting used to.
On the subject of the airport, my lawyer we are using for the house purchase was concerned that the house was under the flight path of Timaru Airport because of the 4 scheduled flights a day it 'suffers'. When I appraised him of the 1 flight every 60 seconds that Gatwick experiences he seemed quite put out and hurt that Timaru Airport was not quite as busy as he portrayed.
I think it does sum up in a small way the mind set of a lot of kiwi people, they think everything about them is pivotal to world events, when in fact they a tiny population that most of the worlds population give little regard to.
I shall post on here again to keep you allup to speed with my progress.

take care all and keep the 'Brit' faith alive.
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Old May 3rd 2019, 12:11 am
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So glad that things are improving for you.. Wish you all the best.
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Old May 3rd 2019, 7:39 am
  #26  
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Gunner5139 View Post
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people who took the trouble to post replies to my original posting. I do honestly feel better about being here now as we have bought a beautiful house in Temuka and that is going to keep me well occupied with my wood shop and my model railway.
I think I also feel better because of not going to live in Timaru, the smaller township atmosphere of Temuka is a lot more welcoming and relaxed. I came from a really intense busy part of the UK right next to Gatwick Airport and this contrast does take some getting used to.
I'm glad you're settling in. It can certainly take some time getting used to the Kiwi scale of things. We also came from the south-east and settled in Wanganui - it took me 9 months to adapt to the slower way of life but now I wouldn't go back. I love the space and the greenery and can't imagine living all squashed up with a pocket sized garden.
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Old May 3rd 2019, 7:48 am
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Default Re: Missing home

I am glad that it sounds like you are coming to terms with the situation.

This bit made me chuckle

Originally Posted by Gunner5139 View Post
I think it does sum up in a small way the mind set of a lot of kiwi people, they think everything about them is pivotal to world events, when in fact they a tiny population that most of the worlds population give little regard to.
When I read news articles about the things the New Zealanders can do to stop climate change the laughter keeps me amused for some time.
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Old May 4th 2019, 11:56 pm
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Default Re: Missing home

Originally Posted by Clappy View Post


When I read news articles about the things the New Zealanders can do to stop climate change the laughter keeps me amused for some time.
However every little bit counts in my own opinion. Yes. It is less than a drop in our polluted oceans but anything, anything at all , that might help awareness of someone , anyone, just one person matters.

Here is hoping that Gunner1945 continues to settle into Temuka & the community there.
Hopefully it has some model railways enthusiasts. Did you bring it all over with you?



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Old May 6th 2019, 11:42 am
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Default Re: Missing home

Nice one Gunner glad you’re feeling better!
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Old May 10th 2019, 3:23 am
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Default Re: Missing home

Best of luck settling, Op. All I can say is give it a minimum of two years from now and then weigh it up then by listing the Pros and Cons where your heart is and where you are happiest

I'm 31, moved here 3.5 years as my parents and brother moved here 11 years ago and I missed them. I've had a really tough time here and realised a year ago that I made a mistake and came here for the wrong reason(s). As hard as it is, I should've done what's right for me, but I now know this.

For those that are going back to the Motherland for a holiday, go in with your eyes open and try to look at it objectively I went back October-November and as soon as the plane was near Dover I felt a huge sigh of relief. Stepping out of Heathrow airport and meeting my best friends I let out a massive bellow which echoed around the Terminal and cried a little, I had arrived 'home' and I'm not an overly emotional person. Absolutely loved every day there and it re-ignited everything I adore and miss about the UK. It's a wonderful, beautiful place that many take the positives & what it has to offer for granted.

As a result, I'm moving back there permanently in December and cannot wait! I'll just have to deal with Skyping family every week and seeing them in the flesh every two years, but you have to be where you are ultimately happy! For me personally, the UK has much more to offer.
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