British Expats

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-   -   Missing home (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/missing-home-924193/)

Gunner5139 Apr 15th 2019 11:31 pm

Missing home
 
I know you all may feel this is early to post this but I am just posting my true feelings. My wife is a kiwi so all is good for her as she us now home. Perhaps I was nieve in thinking this would be easy.
I miss home so much, have been in NZ since March 14th and am now in Timaru where we are buying a house .
We should be able to move in on May 17th, admittedly a lot slicker process than home in the UK.
Not sure how I am going to adapt to life here, rubbish TV, not even sure I like the people, get sick and tired of the barrage of questions when I walk into a shop or cafe. I am not interested in telling any stranger how I am or what I am doing later that day, mind your own bloody business. If I did tell you behind the counter what I thought or how I was then you would be offended. I am 63 and semi retired but not sure if I want to work with the kiwi buggers. I am into outdoor exploits or pastimes like they all seem to be here.
I need to find Expats in the Timaru area to talk to, any suggestions would be most welcome.

Best wishes
A homesick Gunner 5139

BEVS Apr 15th 2019 11:57 pm

Re: Missing home
 
Early days Gunner5139. Early days . You've had a big upheaval which is still all settling down. I know. The american style 'how's your day been' can be a bit too much at times. Just answer 'good thanks', That is all that is needed. In time you won't even notice too much.
Many of us do not bother with NZ telly. Not sure NZers bother with NZ TV. We have other ways to watch what we like. Netfliz and the like.

I don't know of anyone on here that is currently in Timaru. I have a pal down in Oamaru . If you are into the same interests as many kiwis - huntin' - shootin' - fishin' - trampin' , you'll soon make a few pals.

You may be able to find some groups to suit your taste and interests via your local library. I think MensShed is active down in Timaru for instance.

No. It isn't easy peasey . I do tend to think it is a younger person game really unless you are a parent following an adult child and family. You will get there & you are very welcome to offload and share your feelings and thoughts here. After all BritishExpats was started as a care, share and support network.




Justcol Apr 16th 2019 1:51 pm

Re: Missing home
 
At 63 you're not gonna have too many years left
there's no point in spending them in misery.

Go home.

BEVS Apr 16th 2019 11:02 pm

Re: Missing home
 

Originally Posted by Justcol (Post 12671726)
At 63 you're not gonna have too many years left
there's no point in spending them in misery.

Go home.

Oi you.
He may well have a good 30/40 years left in him. I hope so. :sneaky:

He cannot just return Col. His wife is a kiwi and she wants to be in NZ. In particular small town NZ where a new face is a big deal.

Early days for him. Hopefully he'll find his feet and a few good mates .





Pom_Chch Apr 17th 2019 1:23 am

Re: Missing home
 
Oh dear! I can't offer much in the way of advice, only a few sympathies. I've been to Timaru twice in my life and that was more than enough. I really think it's one of the dullest places not only in NZ but the world and I can totally see why a person would struggle there!

Not overly helpful but I just wanted to say it's not just you 😊

carcajou Apr 17th 2019 1:50 am

Re: Missing home
 
In the first instance OP needs to discuss how he is feeling with his wife, right away.

I assume they moved to Timaru because wife is from there or the family is from there. Perhaps they can be of use to OP in building a social network etc.

Louiselouise03 Apr 17th 2019 2:31 am

Re: Missing home
 
Do you know exactly what it is you’re missing?
You haven’t been here very long - almost like a holiday. so far.

If your partner is Kiwi , has she lived away from her country until now and it’s her turn?
Its hard being in a couple from opposite ends of the world. I’m hoping my Kiwi partner will move to the UK one day , but he’s told me he’d be miserable .

Justcol Apr 17th 2019 10:24 am

Re: Missing home
 

Originally Posted by BEVS (Post 12671990)
Oi you.
He may well have a good 30/40 years left in him. I hope so. :sneaky:

He cannot just return Col. His wife is a kiwi and she wants to be in NZ. In particular small town NZ where a new face is a big deal.

Early days for him. Hopefully he'll find his feet and a few good mates .

So he can then moan to them about the miserable kiwis he cant stand, who intrude into his life simply by trying to be polite.
He's only been a month. . . .!!


BEVS Apr 18th 2019 12:31 am

Re: Missing home
 

Originally Posted by Justcol (Post 12672160)
So he can then moan to them about the miserable kiwis he cant stand, who intrude into his life simply by trying to be polite.
He's only been a month. . . .!!

That isn't really what he wrote is it. He's an older chap trying to find a way to settle in to a very small town with not much there TBH.
He was scouting around for something familiar and familiarity. Nothing wrong with that. We all like that to some degree. Nothing wrong either with looking for or hoping for a bit of good ole UK comfy chat and banter.
For some areas here that isn't too hard. For Timaru it may not be so easy.

People asking a barrage of questions and commenting on accents and why NZ and you'll be used to the rain etc isn't really that polite . It can be intrusive and become rather tiring when you just want a sit down and a cuppa . It doesn't lead to any sort of friendship either on any level.

He's had a very short time so far . I hope he finds a few fellas out there to share with. One or two Brits will add to the mix & why not. No-one bats an eyelid at the idea of Italian , Polish or Thai clubs around here, to mention a few, but mention that a Brit might want to have a get together chat with another Brit and it's all arms up in the air in horror. How very dare we. :lol:



Charismatic Apr 18th 2019 3:06 am

Re: Missing home
 
I usually find going back to the UK clears that sentiment right up propper quick.

bourbon-biscuit Apr 22nd 2019 10:18 am

Re: Missing home
 

Originally Posted by Charismatic (Post 12672577)
I usually find going back to the UK clears that sentiment right up propper quick.

Lol, I am having a big homesick patch and have a trip to the UK in a few weeks: am banking on it being a reality check and on feeling a huge sense of relief and good fortune when I land back home in Sydney!

BEVS Apr 23rd 2019 12:21 am

Re: Missing home
 

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit (Post 12674118)
Lol, I am having a big homesick patch and have a trip to the UK in a few weeks: am banking on it being a reality check and on feeling a huge sense of relief and good fortune when I land back home in Sydney!

I was hoping to have a UK trip about now but have had to delay this for a good year. FOlks tell me I would be in for a shock but I am not sure what sort of shocks really as from what I see neither the people I know nor the places have altered.


bourbon-biscuit Apr 23rd 2019 3:34 am

Re: Missing home
 

Originally Posted by BEVS (Post 12674462)
I was hoping to have a UK trip about now but have had to delay this for a good year. FOlks tell me I would be in for a shock but I am not sure what sort of shocks really as from what I see neither the people I know nor the places have altered.

My first in six years! Keen as a bean.

MrsFychan Apr 23rd 2019 8:06 am

Re: Missing home
 
we went back last June/July, nothing seemed any different from when we left in 2012.
But I would need to say that the last recession there didn't really affect us at the time, so guess what you were used to, and the visit was to family and a Tiki tour from Scotland down to Arundel so more like a tourist visit.

Charismatic Apr 23rd 2019 8:16 am

Re: Missing home
 

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit (Post 12674118)
Lol, I am having a big homesick patch and have a trip to the UK in a few weeks: am banking on it being a reality check and on feeling a huge sense of relief and good fortune when I land back home in Sydney!

I can see why people would want to live in other countries but never understood why, with the variety on offer, they would consider the UK again. Why persevere with a self-inflicted misery?


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