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Missing home
I know you all may feel this is early to post this but I am just posting my true feelings. My wife is a kiwi so all is good for her as she us now home. Perhaps I was nieve in thinking this would be easy.
I miss home so much, have been in NZ since March 14th and am now in Timaru where we are buying a house . We should be able to move in on May 17th, admittedly a lot slicker process than home in the UK. Not sure how I am going to adapt to life here, rubbish TV, not even sure I like the people, get sick and tired of the barrage of questions when I walk into a shop or cafe. I am not interested in telling any stranger how I am or what I am doing later that day, mind your own bloody business. If I did tell you behind the counter what I thought or how I was then you would be offended. I am 63 and semi retired but not sure if I want to work with the kiwi buggers. I am into outdoor exploits or pastimes like they all seem to be here. I need to find Expats in the Timaru area to talk to, any suggestions would be most welcome. Best wishes A homesick Gunner 5139 |
Re: Missing home
Early days Gunner5139. Early days . You've had a big upheaval which is still all settling down. I know. The american style 'how's your day been' can be a bit too much at times. Just answer 'good thanks', That is all that is needed. In time you won't even notice too much.
Many of us do not bother with NZ telly. Not sure NZers bother with NZ TV. We have other ways to watch what we like. Netfliz and the like. I don't know of anyone on here that is currently in Timaru. I have a pal down in Oamaru . If you are into the same interests as many kiwis - huntin' - shootin' - fishin' - trampin' , you'll soon make a few pals. You may be able to find some groups to suit your taste and interests via your local library. I think MensShed is active down in Timaru for instance. No. It isn't easy peasey . I do tend to think it is a younger person game really unless you are a parent following an adult child and family. You will get there & you are very welcome to offload and share your feelings and thoughts here. After all BritishExpats was started as a care, share and support network. |
Re: Missing home
At 63 you're not gonna have too many years left
there's no point in spending them in misery. Go home. |
Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Justcol
(Post 12671726)
At 63 you're not gonna have too many years left
there's no point in spending them in misery. Go home. He may well have a good 30/40 years left in him. I hope so. :sneaky: He cannot just return Col. His wife is a kiwi and she wants to be in NZ. In particular small town NZ where a new face is a big deal. Early days for him. Hopefully he'll find his feet and a few good mates . |
Re: Missing home
Oh dear! I can't offer much in the way of advice, only a few sympathies. I've been to Timaru twice in my life and that was more than enough. I really think it's one of the dullest places not only in NZ but the world and I can totally see why a person would struggle there!
Not overly helpful but I just wanted to say it's not just you 😊 |
Re: Missing home
In the first instance OP needs to discuss how he is feeling with his wife, right away.
I assume they moved to Timaru because wife is from there or the family is from there. Perhaps they can be of use to OP in building a social network etc. |
Re: Missing home
Do you know exactly what it is you’re missing? You haven’t been here very long - almost like a holiday. so far. If your partner is Kiwi , has she lived away from her country until now and it’s her turn? Its hard being in a couple from opposite ends of the world. I’m hoping my Kiwi partner will move to the UK one day , but he’s told me he’d be miserable . |
Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by BEVS
(Post 12671990)
Oi you.
He may well have a good 30/40 years left in him. I hope so. :sneaky: He cannot just return Col. His wife is a kiwi and she wants to be in NZ. In particular small town NZ where a new face is a big deal. Early days for him. Hopefully he'll find his feet and a few good mates . He's only been a month. . . .!! |
Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Justcol
(Post 12672160)
So he can then moan to them about the miserable kiwis he cant stand, who intrude into his life simply by trying to be polite.
He's only been a month. . . .!! He was scouting around for something familiar and familiarity. Nothing wrong with that. We all like that to some degree. Nothing wrong either with looking for or hoping for a bit of good ole UK comfy chat and banter. For some areas here that isn't too hard. For Timaru it may not be so easy. People asking a barrage of questions and commenting on accents and why NZ and you'll be used to the rain etc isn't really that polite . It can be intrusive and become rather tiring when you just want a sit down and a cuppa . It doesn't lead to any sort of friendship either on any level. He's had a very short time so far . I hope he finds a few fellas out there to share with. One or two Brits will add to the mix & why not. No-one bats an eyelid at the idea of Italian , Polish or Thai clubs around here, to mention a few, but mention that a Brit might want to have a get together chat with another Brit and it's all arms up in the air in horror. How very dare we. :lol: |
Re: Missing home
I usually find going back to the UK clears that sentiment right up propper quick.
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Charismatic
(Post 12672577)
I usually find going back to the UK clears that sentiment right up propper quick.
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit
(Post 12674118)
Lol, I am having a big homesick patch and have a trip to the UK in a few weeks: am banking on it being a reality check and on feeling a huge sense of relief and good fortune when I land back home in Sydney!
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by BEVS
(Post 12674462)
I was hoping to have a UK trip about now but have had to delay this for a good year. FOlks tell me I would be in for a shock but I am not sure what sort of shocks really as from what I see neither the people I know nor the places have altered.
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Re: Missing home
we went back last June/July, nothing seemed any different from when we left in 2012.
But I would need to say that the last recession there didn't really affect us at the time, so guess what you were used to, and the visit was to family and a Tiki tour from Scotland down to Arundel so more like a tourist visit. |
Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit
(Post 12674118)
Lol, I am having a big homesick patch and have a trip to the UK in a few weeks: am banking on it being a reality check and on feeling a huge sense of relief and good fortune when I land back home in Sydney!
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Charismatic
(Post 12674560)
why persevere with a self-inflicted misery?
i don't let anything bother me anymore. (As you may have guessed from my posts on here, the exception tends to be people who complain and moan.) I should imagine the same can be said for those who return to blighty. Maybe they can see those who run around like their hair is on fire but realise it really doesn't matter a jot. In Europe or out, Corbyn or May, the reality is it doesn't effect you in your day to day life, or in the relationship s you have with friends or family. If you are happy in your corner of the world, that is all that matters. The rest be is just white noise. |
Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Charismatic
(Post 12674560)
I can see why people would want to live in other countries but never understood why, with the variety on offer, they would consider the UK again. Why persevere with a self-inflicted misery?
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Re: Missing home
That quote is not from my post
I was however pointing out that what charismatic might perceive as misery, (being back in the uk) is nothing more than his perspective, and that others are able to live and enjoy being in the uk despite what some see as all it's problems. |
Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Justcol
(Post 12674973)
That quote is not from my post
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Charismatic
(Post 12674560)
I can see why people would want to live in other countries but never understood why, with the variety on offer, they would consider the UK again. Why persevere with a self-inflicted misery?
Originally Posted by BEVS
(Post 12674931)
I actually do not understand this post Col.
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Gunner5139
(Post 12671465)
I know you all may feel this is early to post this but I am just posting my true feelings. My wife is a kiwi so all is good for her as she us now home. Perhaps I was nieve in thinking this would be easy.
I miss home so much, have been in NZ since March 14th and am now in Timaru where we are buying a house . We should be able to move in on May 17th, admittedly a lot slicker process than home in the UK. Not sure how I am going to adapt to life here, rubbish TV, not even sure I like the people, get sick and tired of the barrage of questions when I walk into a shop or cafe. I am not interested in telling any stranger how I am or what I am doing later that day, mind your own bloody business. If I did tell you behind the counter what I thought or how I was then you would be offended. I am 63 and semi retired but not sure if I want to work with the kiwi buggers. I am into outdoor exploits or pastimes like they all seem to be here. I need to find Expats in the Timaru area to talk to, any suggestions would be most welcome. Best wishes A homesick Gunner 5139 I live in Hanmer Springs and it’s a lovely place, for a weekend, not so much for years! The population is very small and the town is so transient, I find it makes the locals quite closed off and everyone apart from two people I’ve previously worked with have all left. My partner is a Kiwi and a local and I’m fortunate enough to be a Sahm to our beautiful little girl, but my partner works long hours and the loneliness and lack of variety in activities, and even just places to walk to, I’m finding killer at the moment. I struggle with not having much common ground with the locals that have barely left town and having conversations of substance. Hoping to move to Christchurch, or just somewhere bigger with better job prospects for me as there is just cafe work here and it doesn’t pay much more than what the cost of childcare will be. and hopefully more people to make friends with who won’t just leave me! Sorry I’ve hijacked your post a bit there. I hope you feel better soon. Tv is naff here, you get over it a bit. I used to make do with watching antiques roadshow everyday. 😂
Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit
(Post 12674118)
Lol, I am having a big homesick patch and have a trip to the UK in a few weeks: am banking on it being a reality check and on feeling a huge sense of relief and good fortune when I land back home in Sydney!
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Soupnswings
(Post 12675167)
I really feel for you, at your age as I’ve been here for 2.5 years now and I’ve found it really difficult transitioning. I’m 30 and I’ve found myself missing cobbles and drystone walls and wishing weatherboard actually weathered. I live in Hanmer Springs and it’s a lovely place, for a weekend, not so much for years! The population is very small and the town is so transient, I find it makes the locals quite closed off and everyone apart from two people I’ve previously worked with have all left. My partner is a Kiwi and a local and I’m fortunate enough to be a Sahm to our beautiful little girl, but my partner works long hours and the loneliness and lack of variety in activities, and even just places to walk to, I’m finding killer at the moment. I struggle with not having much common ground with the locals that have barely left town and having conversations of substance. Hoping to move to Christchurch, or just somewhere bigger with better job prospects for me as there is just cafe work here and it doesn’t pay much more than what the cost of childcare will be. and hopefully more people to make friends with who won’t just leave me! Sorry I’ve hijacked your post a bit there. I hope you feel better soon. Tv is naff here, you get over it a bit. I used to make do with watching antiques roadshow everyday. � ���� Im hopefully visiting the Uk soon and am wishing the same! |
Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Soupnswings
(Post 12675167)
Tv is naff here, you get over it a bit. I used to make do with watching antiques roadshow everyday. 😂 Don't suffer: Getflix! (Google it - dead easy and cheap) |
Re: Missing home
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people who took the trouble to post replies to my original posting. I do honestly feel better about being here now as we have bought a beautiful house in Temuka and that is going to keep me well occupied with my wood shop and my model railway.
I think I also feel better because of not going to live in Timaru, the smaller township atmosphere of Temuka is a lot more welcoming and relaxed. I came from a really intense busy part of the UK right next to Gatwick Airport and this contrast does take some getting used to. On the subject of the airport, my lawyer we are using for the house purchase was concerned that the house was under the flight path of Timaru Airport because of the 4 scheduled flights a day it 'suffers'. When I appraised him of the 1 flight every 60 seconds that Gatwick experiences he seemed quite put out and hurt that Timaru Airport was not quite as busy as he portrayed. I think it does sum up in a small way the mind set of a lot of kiwi people, they think everything about them is pivotal to world events, when in fact they a tiny population that most of the worlds population give little regard to. I shall post on here again to keep you allup to speed with my progress. take care all and keep the 'Brit' faith alive. |
Re: Missing home
So glad that things are improving for you.. Wish you all the best.
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Gunner5139
(Post 12678625)
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people who took the trouble to post replies to my original posting. I do honestly feel better about being here now as we have bought a beautiful house in Temuka and that is going to keep me well occupied with my wood shop and my model railway.
I think I also feel better because of not going to live in Timaru, the smaller township atmosphere of Temuka is a lot more welcoming and relaxed. I came from a really intense busy part of the UK right next to Gatwick Airport and this contrast does take some getting used to. |
Re: Missing home
I am glad that it sounds like you are coming to terms with the situation.
This bit made me chuckle
Originally Posted by Gunner5139
(Post 12678625)
I think it does sum up in a small way the mind set of a lot of kiwi people, they think everything about them is pivotal to world events, when in fact they a tiny population that most of the worlds population give little regard to.
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by Clappy
(Post 12678721)
When I read news articles about the things the New Zealanders can do to stop climate change the laughter keeps me amused for some time. Here is hoping that Gunner1945 continues to settle into Temuka & the community there. Hopefully it has some model railways enthusiasts. Did you bring it all over with you? |
Re: Missing home
Nice one Gunner glad you’re feeling better! |
Re: Missing home
Best of luck settling, Op. All I can say is give it a minimum of two years from now and then weigh it up then by listing the Pros and Cons where your heart is and where you are happiest :)
I'm 31, moved here 3.5 years as my parents and brother moved here 11 years ago and I missed them. I've had a really tough time here and realised a year ago that I made a mistake and came here for the wrong reason(s). As hard as it is, I should've done what's right for me, but I now know this. For those that are going back to the Motherland for a holiday, go in with your eyes open and try to look at it objectively :) I went back October-November and as soon as the plane was near Dover I felt a huge sigh of relief. Stepping out of Heathrow airport and meeting my best friends I let out a massive bellow which echoed around the Terminal and cried a little, I had arrived 'home' and I'm not an overly emotional person. Absolutely loved every day there and it re-ignited everything I adore and miss about the UK. It's a wonderful, beautiful place that many take the positives & what it has to offer for granted. As a result, I'm moving back there permanently in December and cannot wait! I'll just have to deal with Skyping family every week and seeing them in the flesh every two years, but you have to be where you are ultimately happy! For me personally, the UK has much more to offer. |
Re: Missing home
We've been here 10 years. We came because both of out kids came with their 8 grandchildren. We were 69 yrs old when we arrived. I've been back 5 times to Southern England - my home. If it wasn't for my family I'd be long gone. We first came to visit the family 15 years ago and have seen most of New Zealand now. from far north to almost far south and I still think there's heaps more to see in UK than there is in NZ and the weather here isn't much different , depending on which part of UK you're from.. and without the benefit of Central heating and for many also no double glazing.
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Re: Missing home
Originally Posted by jayandbill
(Post 12686731)
We've been here 10 years. We came because both of out kids came with their 8 grandchildren. We were 69 yrs old when we arrived. I've been back 5 times to Southern England - my home. If it wasn't for my family I'd be long gone. We first came to visit the family 15 years ago and have seen most of New Zealand now. from far north to almost far south and I still think there's heaps more to see in UK than there is in NZ and the weather here isn't much different , depending on which part of UK you're from.. and without the benefit of Central heating and for many also no double glazing.
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